Right? I don't usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.
It's funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I'm a City Planner.
We're always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we're both interested in the other's career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.
We grew up in a very Republican area. I stayed and fight the good fight, but my sister has a child and it's better not to raise children in this environment.
Everything about it makes perfect sense except "floodway". And, if I buzzword hard enough, I could see that meaning something like the Slashdot effect/hug of death.
Its a streaming overflow area for a data lake. Usually implemented with some sort of hierarchal storage management solution. Its used when you are streaming data somewhere but the connection is interrupted and its suboptimal to add further partitions to your streaming, and your boss isnt cool with just deleting the data that we all know will never be used for anything at all. So you stay up all night moving this crap data around, questioning your life choices and feeling like a moron.
"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"
(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)
Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don't have to guess, and you're putting forward a suggestion of what to do.
I love the idea of two grown ass adults in their 50s standing on the side line as their 80+ year old dads charge at each other with their walkers/walking frames/rolators.
not even just toddlers, I had primary school age kids in a lift be like "wow, you guys are really short 👀" really?? never noticed, thanks for telling me 🙃
Ive basically done this with one or two discord friends. Met them through mutual friends though so there was some level of "trust tbat we're the same kind of weirdo" already there
Not sure about this. It gets dangerously close to "Now for an ice breaker, why don't we go around the room and tell each other a little not about ourselves."
Real 4-year-olds are not always as forthcoming as Katie. You're welcome to respond with solemn silence while holding the tattered shred of your 40-year-old blankie you carry in your pocket. Equally valid.
I have no energy for social games and I give no shits. When I'm asked to share a fun fact about myself as an ice breaker I'll stare at the room with no expression and monotone "my fun fact is that l can't stand ice breakers"
Literally do it. I started doing this about 8 years ago and the cascade of positivity it has brought me has lead to a marriage, a career, and a sense of comfort in who I am that's so infectious that inanimate objects develop personality in my presence. I now do peer support for a living now and get paid to bully people into being nice to themselves.
More people need to act like children, they're far better at all this than we are.
this made me laugh, this is how some of my clients have introduced them self. Sometimes it can be all their hobbies and what not for 5-10 mins and then they add "oh and my title is x and this is my expectations" lol
86 Comments
meejle@piefed.world · 197 pts · 21d
I'm autistic and this would really simplify things tbh
Cremisi@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 21d
Right? I don't usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 25 pts · 21d
No, be yourself. If that gets you labeled weird by them, then it's their loss. Wasn't going to be a compatible relationship anyway.
Cavemanfreak@programming.dev · 13 pts · 21d
Hey, weird does not automatically mean bad. The people I most like to hang with are really weird people.
fartographer@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 20d
I would be enthusiastic and honored if you approached me like that
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 21d
Same, and I basically just actually do this.
...would probably have to be drunk to do the last line, though.
Why do I do this?
If you find that intro immensely offputting... I will likely find you immensely insufferable.
Communication still works two ways, even if the normies play by different rules.
YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf · 131 pts · 21d
The inigo montoya style:
Step 1: Give a polite greeting.
Step 2: State your name.
Step 3: Establish a personal connection.
Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
starik@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 20d
FYI,
You can do single line
breaks on Lemmy. Just
put 2 spaces at the end
of a line before the Enter.
YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf · 2 pts · 20d
Nice, I looked up some markup, but this one's new to me. Thanks!
chiliedogg@lemmy.world · 67 pts · 21d
That's basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.
"I'm Chilie. I'm a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?"
clif@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 21d
I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 21d
It's funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I'm a City Planner.
We're always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we're both interested in the other's career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.
Aneb@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 20d
That seems like a lot of fun! Do you live in the same city? I would complain abt all the road work
chiliedogg@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 20d
We live on opposite sides of the country.
We grew up in a very Republican area. I stayed and fight the good fight, but my sister has a child and it's better not to raise children in this environment.
Aneb@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 20d
Dojan@pawb.social · 10 pts · 21d
An hour later, I trod the same path.
clif@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 21d
Everything about it makes perfect sense except "floodway". And, if I buzzword hard enough, I could see that meaning something like the Slashdot effect/hug of death.
... I'm going to start using it that way.
Dojan@pawb.social · 7 pts · 21d
I develop software for mining (ore) operations, so a floodway didn't sound entirely implausible.
I've also spent all week doing tech-support because I'm the only one that's not on vacation, so my brain is a little fried.
clif@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 21d
Ah, that's even more acute. You definitely win this round.
EDIT: Also, hope your tech support ends today (or at least soon) and you don't have to deal with it again.
Dojan@pawb.social · 3 pts · 21d
I'm in central Europe, so I've been off the clock for like, 9 hours or so at this point. I should really sleep and let my brain recuperate a little.
kreskin@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 21d
Its a streaming overflow area for a data lake. Usually implemented with some sort of hierarchal storage management solution. Its used when you are streaming data somewhere but the connection is interrupted and its suboptimal to add further partitions to your streaming, and your boss isnt cool with just deleting the data that we all know will never be used for anything at all. So you stay up all night moving this crap data around, questioning your life choices and feeling like a moron.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 19d
They get very agitated when they learn their server is in a basement located in a floodway.
Jaycifer@piefed.social · 3 pts · 21d
You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the new data center in Fargo, would you?
inari@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 21d
Valid crashout
artifex@piefed.social · 54 pts · 21d
This would be amazing.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 43 pts · 21d
Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.
Reygle@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 21d
The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.
prex@aussie.zone · 14 pts · 21d
What was the interesting fact?
Reygle@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 21d
It's terrible but I don't remember, over time was replaced by her pretty face in my brain.
clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 20d
Maybe it was "Pterosaurs are sneaky in the bathroom because their pee is silent. "
isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 21d
Spock played a key role in their extinction.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 39 pts · 21d
Know what? Next time I ask a woman out...
"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"
(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)
lonefighter@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 21d
Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don't have to guess, and you're putting forward a suggestion of what to do.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 21d
Tbh, it feels way more honest and real than most guys cheesy pickup lines. I'd probably engage with someone who approached me like that.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 20d
Hi, I'm the ex-World's dumbest man, you have a cool username, I don't actually want to date.
Want to go fight in a videogame of your choosing?
LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 21d
"Hi, I'm George Kastanza, I'm 38 and I live with my parents."
banause@feddit.org · 5 pts · 20d
You skipped the brain dump about vim keybindings.
vane@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 21d
Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let's fuck.
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 21d
No joke, I've had this happen.
weeeeum@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 20d
You need to elaborate
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 20d
Did you guys fuck?
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 20d
Yeah. She pegged me then we did it against a wall.
SpankyDoodle@eviltoast.org · 4 pts · 20d
Where do I find this in my life?
minorkeys@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 20d
I mean, "your ass looks nice let's fuck" is basically what some ppl do. lol
fletcher_bosom@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 21d
My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.
HelluvaKick@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 20d
I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.
All I can say is it works.
Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app · 18 pts · 21d
Don't threaten me with a good time.
Hupf@feddit.org · 17 pts · 20d
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.
Rooster326@programming.dev · 8 pts · 20d
You have met my father. Prepare to be friends
pedantichedgehog@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 21d
This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?
Picture it: "hi I'm Hedgehog what's your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus"
Unfortunately now I'm an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 9 pts · 21d
Tbh where I work asking someone their favourite dinosaur would probably start a multiple hour long discussion/argument.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 21d
Yeah though I expect people won't be happy when my answer is the American crow
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 21d
Not if you find a way to work in a preschool
foofiepie@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 21d
No. That’s amazing. I think if someone actually said something like that irl as an opener, we’d become good friends.
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 13 pts · 21d
No, you’re bald, Katie and my dad can beat up your dad.
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 11 pts · 21d
I love the idea of two grown ass adults in their 50s standing on the side line as their 80+ year old dads charge at each other with their walkers/walking frames/rolators.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 13 pts · 20d
Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!
Typotyper@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 20d
But I don't need to have everyone tell me I'm bald. I know this. Tell me something nice.
MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 20d
Kid is not being mean, it's just unfiltered observation
kazerniel@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 20d
not even just toddlers, I had primary school age kids in a lift be like "wow, you guys are really short 👀" really?? never noticed, thanks for telling me 🙃
mirshafie@europe.pub · 3 pts · 20d
You're really bald. And I really like it.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 20d
You'l die some day, and the world will be a better place! (:
Jk man, hugs and kissea (well ok, not kisses, because like, I need consent for that, and I don't know you that well).
edgesmash@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 20d
I mean, you should probably ask for consent for hugs too. Some people aren't super comfortable with touch or being constricted.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 20d
Ironicaly, me included.
kreskin@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 21d
I.. would love this idea.
mushroommunk@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 21d
Uhhhh you can? This is basically what I do. The key is to just not give a shit and accept that not everyone is gonna respond.
AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social · 9 pts · 21d
So... like autistics do (and wish others did)?
zaphod@sopuli.xyz · 9 pts · 21d
That's ideally what people would put in their dating profile.
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social · 8 pts · 21d
Ive basically done this with one or two discord friends. Met them through mutual friends though so there was some level of "trust tbat we're the same kind of weirdo" already there
deft@lemmy.wtf · 6 pts · 19d
Just add "but I like that" at the end with a wink and you're running baby
diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 20d
How else are you supposed to do that if at all? /genq
deft@lemmy.wtf · 2 pts · 19d
Play weird social volleyball where you can't be too interested or straightforward and hide your true intentions?
Arachnidbrilliant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 21d
Is limp Triscuit A good band name?
lemmyng@piefed.ca · 5 pts · 21d
Not sure about this. It gets dangerously close to "Now for an ice breaker, why don't we go around the room and tell each other a little not about ourselves."
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 21d
Real 4-year-olds are not always as forthcoming as Katie. You're welcome to respond with solemn silence while holding the tattered shred of your 40-year-old blankie you carry in your pocket. Equally valid.
lonefighter@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 20d
I have no energy for social games and I give no shits. When I'm asked to share a fun fact about myself as an ice breaker I'll stare at the room with no expression and monotone "my fun fact is that l can't stand ice breakers"
dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 21d
... And my dad farts and snores.
Una@europe.pub · 4 pts · 21d
I should do that irl. 10/10 great advice. Would do it.
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 21d
Literally do it. I started doing this about 8 years ago and the cascade of positivity it has brought me has lead to a marriage, a career, and a sense of comfort in who I am that's so infectious that inanimate objects develop personality in my presence. I now do peer support for a living now and get paid to bully people into being nice to themselves.
More people need to act like children, they're far better at all this than we are.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 21d
Turns out most people like sincere kindness and positivity. Negativity and irony are defense mechanisms
Una@europe.pub · 2 pts · 20d
Exactly, I am walking through city and meowing at people. No one responds back, but I did saw few people smile :3
kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com · 3 pts · 20d
hi im kate i like cheese and the shark pillow from ikea
Kuma@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 20d
this made me laugh, this is how some of my clients have introduced them self. Sometimes it can be all their hobbies and what not for 5-10 mins and then they add "oh and my title is x and this is my expectations" lol
ToiletFlushShowerScream@piefed.world · 3 pts · 21d
Katie is definitely on to something. I would trust someone who approached me like this much more.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 21d
Instant friends.
not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 21d
😳🙄