Kash Patel Loses Lawsuit Against Man Who Called Him “Googly-Eyed” Chud
https://newrepublic.com/post/213675/kash-patel-loses-lawsuit-blogger-googly-eyed-kremlin-chud
https://newrepublic.com/post/213675/kash-patel-loses-lawsuit-blogger-googly-eyed-kremlin-chud
46 Comments
nkat2112@sh.itjust.works · 110 pts · 16d
Lordy, this is good - someone call the burn unit to rescue Patel:
This was Patel's doing and now he'll be remembered on the legal docket for this - to say nothing about his continuous humiliation in social networking platforms and the media.
EDIT: I forgot to end this comment by pointing out that FBI Director Patel is a googly-eyed Kremlin Bitch.
ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de · 12 pts · 16d
I particularly liked that he didn't call him a "googly eyed kremlin bitch" until a response to the courts from a Nevada ruling in Patels favor for $250k against the guy, as he seemed to dismiss that ruling because the journalist had no ties with Nevada.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 99 pts · 16d
The judge took one look at little Kash and dismissed the suit.
Mirshe@lemmy.world · 90 pts · 16d
"Your honor...look at him."
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 16d
Gestures towards chud's face.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 16d
We got all this...like...evidence that this guy didn't even pay his hospital bill.
hume_lemmy@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 15d
"You can tell by the way he is!"
athairmor@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 15d
“As our first witness we call Kash Patel’s face.”
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 79 pts · 16d
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 16d
TIHI
ncc74656@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 16d
#scarred4lyfe
Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 15d
Between this one, Vance, Kirk & Shapiro I have no idea what size anybody’s facial features are anymore.
CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 15d
Weird head and facial shapes always makes me think of the Hapsburgs and inbreeding.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 15d
AAA i clicked it by mistake I swear crab god it was a mistake
bender223@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 14d
👀
RaoulDook@lemmy.world · 63 pts · 16d
Do yourself a favor and click the article to see the picture at the top, it's funny
TomMasz@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 16d
If you didn't know who he was, you'd assume it was some SNL skit.
Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 16d
Oh Jesus. Did our reality get mixed with a reality that carries on like a SNL skit? Are all of our current problems, problems that would be funny in a skit, but not in our reality?
Oh fuck. It makes sense now. It's why Trump and everyone who follows him seems to be unrealistically corny and stupid. To stupid to function, but somehow has total power? SNL reality has melded with our reality.
Pistachio@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 16d
I mean, SNL has had quite a few "skits" in which they literally just reread the transcripts. Famous example would be Matt Damon's reprisal of Coach Kavanaugh's senate confirmation rant
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 16d
That was word for word?
Pistachio@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 15d
Its been a long time, but I vividly remember being a bit in shock because it was at least damn near if not exact.
Here's a side by side duck://player/ImBO2-Dn0jY
After watching the side by side again after x years, it is very similar, with artistic liberties taken lol
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 15d
Seriously, I have to remind myself that it’s not a bit, and that’s just… him. He is that much of a parody of himself, and a comprehensive loser. I’d call him a feckless chud, but that would be an insult to feckless chuds. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s actually nominally nominally in charge of the FBI, it’d be absolutely fucking hilarious.
EvilBit@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 15d
I really would love to see a skit based on this.
“Your honor, the defense submits into evidence Exhibit C, a bag of googly eyes from JoAnn Fabrics.”
“Objection! I fail to see how this is relevant.” Gestures at evidence while Patel in background is seen with nearly identically googly eyes
Judge (looks at Patel, one beat): “Overruled. Defense, continue.”
“Defense also submits Exhibit D, a t-shirt with the graphic text in glittery pink stating ‘Putin’s Little Kremlin Bitch’, recovered from Plaintiff’s home.”
Judge: “While we’re submitting evidence, do you have any exhibits pertaining to the claims that Director Patel is a, quote, (reading from a paper) ‘weaselly little ass-goblin’, a ‘mushroom-licking megachode’, a ‘fat-faced, pencil-necked suckup’, or a (adjusts glasses, clears throat) ‘sniveling, attention-whoring, brown-nosing, goose-stepping, gold-digging, unqualified, untalented, unattractive, unappealing, whiny, [30-second long censorship bleep]-gargling chud’?”
Defense lawyer waves at courtroom doors, which burst open with clerks pushing several wheeled carts of paraphernalia
Patel’s lawyer whips his head around to glare at Patel, who shrugs sheepishly, then turns to the judge.
“Your honor, Plaintiff would like to settle.”
Judge: “Defense?”
“Oh hell no, this is too awesome. Defense would urge the Plaintiff to check Instagram for my client’s latest if he’d like to sue us again. We’re free next week.”
nocturne@slrpnk.net · 31 pts · 16d
Steve@startrek.website · 25 pts · 16d
For those allergic to website cancer:
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 16d
Somebody please upload this to mediawiki commons, so it can become the literal photo of "googlie eyed chud" in the encyclopedia
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 15d
Dude if he gets an Honorable in front of his name we all get to be Popes if we want
MrRandom@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 16d
god.dammit.
Broadfern@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 16d
The whole article is even better. There’s so many more creative insults in there
crank0271@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 16d
When discovery is just more creative insults the plaintiff hasn't yet been called
stumu415@lemmy.zip · 34 pts · 16d
sam_the_tech@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 16d
You can’t fool me. I can tell from a mile away that’s a fake beard! 👌
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 34 pts · 15d
Fake news! He didn't even call him a "Googly-Eyed Chud"
He called him a “googly-eyed Kremlin bitch".
And a "blatantly incompetent chud"
homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 16d
More to come!
ButtermilkBiscuit@feddit.nl · 32 pts · 16d
My body is ready for discovery on the excessive drinking claims. What a dumb googly-eyed traitor.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 15d
"Your honor, I would like to present Exhibit A."
"Accepted."
"Your honor, the Defense rests."
"Yeah, this is going to be an easy one. You'll all be home for dinner tonight."
TryingToBeGood@reddthat.com · 26 pts · 16d
LOL! Good. :D
generic_computers@lemmy.zip · 19 pts · 16d
Therefore he is legally a googly-eyed chud.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 16d
(. ) ( . )
athairmor@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 15d
Imagine Jeopardy! in about 20 years.
“This FBI director lost a lawsuit against a man who called him a ‘googly-eyed’ chud.”
I wonder if people will be too embarrassed by this era to be able to answer, “Who is Kash Patel?” We they be able to admit this doofus was given such power?
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 11 pts · 15d
87Six@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 15d
#NotTheOnion lmfao
AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 15d
I'm no legal beagle but I think this means he's legally got to change his name now. 👩⚖️
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 16d
lol
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 15d
Truth is a defense against, uh, whatever he got sued for
bender223@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 14d