"feminine"

You want a bulb? Real men stub their toes in the dark.

I don’t understand the bed frame. Is it a 2 inch mattress on a platform frame? You’re going to bang your shin on that so hard.

Also, the bed is blocking the closet doors because, I’m assuming.. closets are for ladies?

Semicolon my dude

You joke, but that was my setup for years

Needs a ghetto cricket too. If you don’t have one you can make one. Go get a smoke alarm and find the shittiest battery that powers it just enough to chirp

YOU'RE*

How is it so hard to get right?

Nothing manlier than being gay? HMMMMMM

McQueen size

Why is he Asian?

"I didn't know you could harvest cucumbers indoors!"

Yes, but also many more skulls of all sizes, just strewn around the place, he'll also need more shelves and things to put all the new skulls on them.

I honestly thought this was a girls room and I thought the text was trying to be edgy.

Agreed. Cat and skull are doing all the heavy lifting here.

you have awakened something bad in me

Extreme manliness demands sacrifices

Who needs closets when you only have one goth outfit?

yes he was

Headboard

Dracula needs no cupboard.

I feel like that's getting back to feminine witchy territory.

Exactly. This person has/needs a full or queen sized bed, but their bedroom isn't big enough for it. So, it's blocking the closet, because that's the only place it can go.

I saw one yesterday where the person didn't use a pillow case and the spots on their pillow and bed where they presumably lay were browned. Is that normal?

That just feels like some DnD

He has to be careful to not get a feminine sword like a rapier or a khopesh

You’re missing the pile of crusty socks.

If you're committed to the black and red aesthetic go with ebonized white oak and glazed black cherry. I'd lean toward the American Craftsman/Mission style, stylish within practicality and built to last, and most importantly would look absolutely stupid in distressed chalk paint.

There's a stereotype that men don't understand bed frames, somebody already in this comment section has posted a bare air mattress on the floor. The other extreme is the fuckateria table on display in the original post. Looks like a futon mat on plywood? Go to a mattress store and buy something that isn't marked down. As for a bed frame, simplicity is the order of the day. No footboard, if you go with a headboard make it functional. Should be low enough to sit down on, a bed you climb up on is college kid shit.

A taller dresser is more masculine, compared to a woman's dressing table.

A simple rocking chair is surprisingly useful, serves as a dressing rack.

You'll probably want three levels of lighting, mood lighting, reading lighting and cleaning lighting. Built-in overhead lights will serve as the latter.

Avoid any urge to set dress. This isn't a film set, you don't have to intentionally clutter tabletops and shelves with shit. Live a life and things to put there will happen to you. For the love of fuck don't decorate with books you want people to think you read.

Like swords over Damocles

I kind of thought it was one of those scratchy moving blankets dyed black

kinda reminds me of fnaf 4 ngl

Bed a bedroom once where the only space to put the bed (a twin!) was with the head of the bed inside the closet.

Not relevant here, that bed could be moved, but reminded of it.

In my experience, a woman's living space is either more cluttered than a man's because she's got 5.37*10^9 bottles in the shower, piles of laundry made of a larger number of smaller garments, and 900 pillows, OR she lives in a film set where nothing can be moved, touched or used. You don't dry your hands on the towels on the towel rack, those are for decoration, if you need to dry your hands go down to the laundry room, open the towel bin, take out a towel, dry your hands, wash-rinse-sanitize-dry-iron-fold and put away the towel, then go about your day.

Man tidy is "blanket's on the bed, laundry's either put away or in the hamper, the carpet has been vacuumed at some point in the last month, and none of the cologne/deodorant bottles on the dresser are empty."

Whatever happens in the doom vathroom, stays in the doom bathromm. Decorative choices included.

*bathdoom

Maybe. Is that the one with a floor-hole through to the cursed basement?

Underglow will always have a 2 Fast 2 Furious vibe for me, like that bed has a big amp and subwoofer in the back with no capacitor so it'll stall the engine if the volume is turned up too high, a muffler delete and a spoiler even though it's front wheel drive.