>be me
>be not gay
>having sex with my loving husband of 15 years
>I identify as a cis male
>our penises touch when I slip out of his asshole on a slow thrust
>we lock eyes
>I say no homo
>he doesn’t reciprocate
>ejaculates as he continues silently staring into my eyes
>I pull out and exhaustedly crawl to the bathroom to think things through and remove a meter of silicon
>can feel his eyes scanning me without even turning around
Bros, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell our kids?
What are people's opinion on the downlow thing, otherwise straight men that just have furtive sex with other men, but never a relationship? Denial? Indiscriminate horniness?
depends on whether you're using the MOGAI definition of bisexual as "attracted to exactly two genders" or the LGBT definition as "attracted to more than one gender"
in practice there really isn't much distinction, i don't know a single person who identifies as bisexual and wouldn't consider fucking a non-binary person, and the main distinguishing factor between people who label themselves bisexual and those that label themselves pansexual seems to be "was this person active on tumblr or other online communities with a similar vibe at any point between 2014-ish and now".
Here's my biggest pet peeve (relevant to the scenario): the cancelling of bi-folk. There is a forced dichotomy of men being either hetero- or homosexual, with homoerotic choices somehow automatically negating all heteroerotic choices by framing them as perfidy (i.e. pretending to be heterosexual to pass in society).
Freddie Mercury was bi. NOT GAY. Bi. I have no issue with gays revering him. I do have issues with gays trying to deny his heteroromantic side (see Mary Austin).
I always felt that it's just homophobia. The heteroerotic choices of bisexuals are disregarded because of the lost purity of being considered 'straight'. You can have heterosexual preferences but according to heteronormative society you fit outside this group. It will take time for Bisexuality to be better understood by society and for bisexuals to fully be seen as a distinct group
There was no denial that Freddy Mercury engaged in sexual relationships with men, but those relationships should not delegitimize or downplay his relationships with women by insinuating that any relations with a man make him gay and only engaging with women to fit in.
My nonexpert understanding is, few people are 100% straight or 100% gay. And it can shift over time, too.
There's so much defensive BS around what people are into / aroused by. I'm not saying everyone should share everything to everyone all the time. But I really wish folks would be less fearful about what they like.
As long as you aren't attracted to kids, corpses, or animals, I think everything else is probably OK. Even couches, if that's your thing.
Yeah, absolutely. I usually get to see them once a week or rarer, so beautiful sometimes. Sadly phone camera does not capture them well enough. Still, seen them!
I've just seen same joke in the past and liked it, decided to do it here. Though I see more generalized versions of the same in the comments too. Efficiency.
Seen replies about bi-erasure and homophobia... Yeah... Not that funny now.
funnily enough lines based on the form of "would you like to make the yuri version of [something] a reality?" work surprisingly well for getting with other girls, both in our experiences and those of friends. use that information as you will x3
It's really challenging when the post starts out with a declaration of not being gay, proceeds to describe activities which might potentially be gay, and then ends with a redeclaration of anon being not gay.
Might be potentially gay?! Idk, a man having romantic sex with another man is pretty much the definition of gay, if you ask me. Doesn't get much gayer.
Refused to believe that even green texters are that unaware. If it were just writing about the realisation about their sexuality whatever, but to end it with "I'm not homosexual" is just unrealistic.
and you were like 'oh hmm, that was not really a mistake but i'm not sure i really enjoyed it, but it was easier than like saying no and upsetting the person and we had a nice cuddle after'
sexuality has nothing to do with this type of encounter. usually it's just a momentary thing because you're drunk or in a mood.
this is basically all my hook ups in college. friend hang out, have sex, never acknowledge it and go back to being unattracted friends again.
66 Comments
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 104 pts · 3d
>be me
>be not gay
>having sex with my loving husband of 15 years
>I identify as a cis male
>our penises touch when I slip out of his asshole on a slow thrust
>we lock eyes
>I say no homo
>he doesn’t reciprocate
>ejaculates as he continues silently staring into my eyes
>I pull out and exhaustedly crawl to the bathroom to think things through and remove a meter of silicon
>can feel his eyes scanning me without even turning around
Bros, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell our kids?
Olhonestjim@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 3d
Remove a meter of silicon?
Limonene@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2d
silicon_crystal_boule.jpeg
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 3d
Exaggerated butt stuff
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2d
Anon had a really long dildo
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 88 pts · 3d
Or, hear me out, sometimes dudes are bi.
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 3d
What are people's opinion on the downlow thing, otherwise straight men that just have furtive sex with other men, but never a relationship? Denial? Indiscriminate horniness?
jaycifer@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 3d
Bisexual, heteroromantic.
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 3d
TIL.
https://www.wikihow.com/Heteroromantic-Bisexual
Wikihow's bizarrely holding up pretty well.
PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 2d
Wouldn't that be "heteroromantic pansexual" then?
festnt@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2d
afaik pan and bi are the same, with the difference being preference
DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 2d
depends on whether you're using the MOGAI definition of bisexual as "attracted to exactly two genders" or the LGBT definition as "attracted to more than one gender"
in practice there really isn't much distinction, i don't know a single person who identifies as bisexual and wouldn't consider fucking a non-binary person, and the main distinguishing factor between people who label themselves bisexual and those that label themselves pansexual seems to be "was this person active on tumblr or other online communities with a similar vibe at any point between 2014-ish and now".
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1d
Personally, I was never on tumblr. Pansexuals just have a better flag.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2d
☝️
Especially the thing about tumblr
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2d
Yes, if you're not into the whole paucity of vocabulary thing, that would be a better term.
Forester@pawb.social · 3 pts · 1d
That's called heteroromantic and bisexual
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 23h
all of the above.
sometimes a hole is just a hole.
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 23h
I appreciate an explanation that doesn't include learning new vocabulary.
gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 2d
I'm okay with it if they don't hide it, but if they hide it that's not cool
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23h
tell that to my girlfriends who insisted I was gay.
Ypsilenna@lemmy.zip · 87 pts · 3d
I knew exactly where it was going the second I read the first sentence, lol
Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 78 pts · 3d
fake: anon has a wholesome friendship
gay: ... I'm not too sure actually, I'll need some help on this one
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 39 pts · 3d
I think it's the bit where they ordered a pizza
Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 33 pts · 3d
Might be, I have a gay friend and he once ordered a pizza so that tracks
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 2d
That makes sense. I'm pretty sure there's a ton of gay porn that starts with a pizza delivery boy
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 3d
Yeah. They probably enjoyed having hot gooey stuff on their mouth way too much
KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world · 75 pts · 3d
echodot@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 1d
They never ask the question they just insist that they're not.
aldhissla@piefed.world · 61 pts · 2d
Here's my biggest pet peeve (relevant to the scenario): the cancelling of bi-folk. There is a forced dichotomy of men being either hetero- or homosexual, with homoerotic choices somehow automatically negating all heteroerotic choices by framing them as perfidy (i.e. pretending to be heterosexual to pass in society).
Freddie Mercury was bi. NOT GAY. Bi. I have no issue with gays revering him. I do have issues with gays trying to deny his heteroromantic side (see Mary Austin).
Rant over.
Bristlecone@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2d
Least represented group of lgbt, but probably the largest. People love binary things
Krejga@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 2d
I always felt that it's just homophobia. The heteroerotic choices of bisexuals are disregarded because of the lost purity of being considered 'straight'. You can have heterosexual preferences but according to heteronormative society you fit outside this group. It will take time for Bisexuality to be better understood by society and for bisexuals to fully be seen as a distinct group
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23h
TBF, all of that sounds pretty gay to me.
not that there is anything wrong with that.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 2d
He got HIV from a woman
HoopyFrood@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 2d
There was no denial that Freddy Mercury engaged in sexual relationships with men, but those relationships should not delegitimize or downplay his relationships with women by insinuating that any relations with a man make him gay and only engaging with women to fit in.
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 1d
Society views bisexual men as secretly gay, and women as secretly straight.
Boozilla@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 2d
My nonexpert understanding is, few people are 100% straight or 100% gay. And it can shift over time, too.
There's so much defensive BS around what people are into / aroused by. I'm not saying everyone should share everything to everyone all the time. But I really wish folks would be less fearful about what they like.
As long as you aren't attracted to kids, corpses, or animals, I think everything else is probably OK. Even couches, if that's your thing.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23h
what if i'm attracted to dead baby birds?
DerEnder@lemmus.org · 54 pts · 3d
Ekybio@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 3d
Guy is Homiesexual
SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 39 pts · 2d
antonim@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2d
I already know how sunsets look, yet I can look and marvel at them on every evening.
SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 2d
Yeah, absolutely. I usually get to see them once a week or rarer, so beautiful sometimes. Sadly phone camera does not capture them well enough. Still, seen them!
I've just seen same joke in the past and liked it, decided to do it here. Though I see more generalized versions of the same in the comments too. Efficiency.
Seen replies about bi-erasure and homophobia... Yeah... Not that funny now.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 23h
sounds like you are bi but in denial of it.
antonim@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 21h
I'm fairly certain I'm gay, but never say never, I guess?
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 20h
i never tried an oyster until a few weeks ago. now i'm an oyster.
shit happens.
someguy3@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 2d
Fake: Didn't say "no homo".
Gay: Didn't say "no homo".
devaly@ani.social · 30 pts · 3d
maybe Anon is just starving for any non-animal sexual relationship
Cethin@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 3d
Humans are animals, but I get your point.
Shirow@lemmy.zip · 25 pts · 3d
Now I want pizza and yuri :3
kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 2d
if this is about girls love in general then hell yeah!! you should absolutely get some pizza and some girl(s) and go at it as soon as is practical.
if this is an attempt to flirt with us over the web, we don't do that stuff. thank you for your understanding (^o^)
Shirow@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 2d
No it wasn't an attempt to flirt. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
It was meant as girls love in general :3
kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 2d
haha no worries, thank you for clarifying.
funnily enough lines based on the form of "would you like to make the yuri version of [something] a reality?" work surprisingly well for getting with other girls, both in our experiences and those of friends. use that information as you will x3
onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 3d
It's really challenging when the post starts out with a declaration of not being gay, proceeds to describe activities which might potentially be gay, and then ends with a redeclaration of anon being not gay.
maybe it is fake, but is anon gay or no???
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 3d
Might be potentially gay?! Idk, a man having romantic sex with another man is pretty much the definition of gay, if you ask me. Doesn't get much gayer.
onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 3d
But since anon already stated them being non-gay, shouldn't we judge the activities in a non-gay context?
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 2d
could be bi
Varesti@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 3d
What kind of pizza was it?
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 20 pts · 3d
Sausage
tetris11@feddit.uk · 16 pts · 3d
red
hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 3d
anaon is not gay, so pineapple.
chrislowles@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 2d
umbrella@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 1d
true and gay
echodot@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 1d
Refused to believe that even green texters are that unaware. If it were just writing about the realisation about their sexuality whatever, but to end it with "I'm not homosexual" is just unrealistic.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23h
sometimes it just slips in man.
and you were like 'oh hmm, that was not really a mistake but i'm not sure i really enjoyed it, but it was easier than like saying no and upsetting the person and we had a nice cuddle after'
sexuality has nothing to do with this type of encounter. usually it's just a momentary thing because you're drunk or in a mood.
this is basically all my hook ups in college. friend hang out, have sex, never acknowledge it and go back to being unattracted friends again.
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 1d
A paradox!
This is either fake or gay, but it can not be both even though it is a green text.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23h
i thought it was yaoi