The Bane Of My Existence

483 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 49 pts · 19h (7 replies)

Are these both Simon Cowell?

I'm not good with faces...especially celebrities, and never watched his shows...but he's hard to avoid.

Anyways, when did he have a traumatic brain injury? Them eyes ain't right.

Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works · 53 pts · 19h (4 replies)

Botox, late 2025.

protist@retrofed.com · 11 pts · 16h (1 reply)

Does botox make your eyes point in different directions?

CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 15h

It can make it appear that way due to asymmetric injections, a bad injector

NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social · 2 pts · 8h (1 reply)

I thought he was just sun dried

cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2h

Vodka dried.

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 18h

Prosopagnosia?

Eheran@lemmy.world · -25 pts · 19h

Not good with faces, especially celebrities? But you know the name without even looking "his" show? I think you are fine. I can't even think about ever having seen this face while I am not on the bad end of that spectrum.

toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 19h

it's interesting how a face that i used to associate with assholes apparently became a person whose face makes me think he has an asshole like the face that started it all

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 21 pts · 17h (5 replies)

Protip...cast iron pan + chain mail sponge.

JustEnoughDucks@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 12h (2 replies)

If I do that, the seasoning comes right off lol. Even using one of those green scrubbers (but the blue, non-scratch) makes that happen.

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 2h (1 reply)

Nah the seasoning is strong. My cast iron is the easiest cookware I have to care for.

Although I mainly use for frying eggs and grilled cheese, so there's always butter ... I don't need to use a whole lot though.

SorryQuick@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 1h

Probably because of the extra butter, because man you probably killed someone’s pan with that comment.

Rothe@piefed.social · 1 pts · 9h

That would be a bit foolish, because then you will have to reseason your pan after each scrub.

Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 12h

No need to crusade your pan.

ramenshaman@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 15h (1 reply)

Me, looking at Simon's teeth:

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 12h

it can reflect gamma rays now.

Doug@piefed.social · 13 pts · 16h (1 reply)

Some celebrities I just knew in advance were not going to embrace age as they get older and were going to fuck themselves up.

He was one of them.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 12h

i wonder if did botox, most of those people do. and they have to do more since botox atrophies the fine muscles on the face overtime due to it being paralyzed. yet kaitlyn olsen and rob mac both had alot done, they became unrecognizable, and they are as vain(personality wise) now as they look.

bampop@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 12h

The teeth are smiling but the eyes are saying "killll meeee".

I know that look. That's the expression you get when a brilliant but unhinged surgeon has their medical license revoked for performing experiments which are not only unethical but an affront to the laws of nature and all that is good and right in the world, and then the disgraced surgeon gets their revenge by tracking down the person they consider responsible for their downfall and imprisoning that person's brain inside the swollen putrid carcass of Simon Cowell.

W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 19h

“He briefly considered cryonics”

We are legion. We are Bob.

ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 18h (3 replies)

"there's beauty somewhere in this endless voyage of mutilation. I know I'll find it and be the first person who stayed beautiful forever"

otacon239@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 16h (2 replies)

Is this from something? It’s quite a good quote.

Badabinski@kbin.earth · 1 pts · 3h

I did some searching but couldn't find it. I'm also quite curious.

ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2h

No, it was something I made up to highlight the ridiculousness of whatever the beautiful plastic people chase

smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 18h

GOOD LORD.

I'd be throwing that sponge out, especially with teeth that unnaturally white.

Echo5@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 18h

Get thee a kitchen scraper, helps get a lot of gunk off without using the sponge or your fingernails.

db2@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 13h (1 reply)
wrinkle2409@lemmy.cafe · 2 pts · 13h

Thanks, I really needed a laugh

Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 10h (1 reply)

You'd think that with that amount of money he has, he would get veneers that don't look like chewing gum pieces

Johandea@feddit.nu · 5 pts · 3h

He could, but money can't buy good taste.

Whostosay@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 19h

Is that English Steve Harvey?

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 17h

It's hard to come back from bad cosmetic surgery. I didn't recognize this asshole the first time I saw him like this.

I'm always reminded of how Jennifer Grey ruined her career by getting a nose job.

funkreddit@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 19h

Weird ass motherfukers

sangeteria@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 18h

Those veneers are crazy lmaooo

groucho@retrolemmy.com · 2 pts · 13h

Thanks. I never needed to see Simon Cowell's murderin' face but I guess I've seen it now. That's cool.

wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 15h (2 replies)

Keep two sponges at a time. The older one, use for nasty pans that would ruin your good sponge. When that one gets too nasty to use anymore for even that, throw it away. Your nicer sponge becomes your old sponge, and you get out a new sponge to be your nice sponge.

dontgogettingtooclever@piefed.social · 2 pts · 10h (1 reply)

#relationshipadvice

wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 3h

I don't get it. Are you suggesting the sponge is a metaphor for romantic partners, and that one should keep an old ratty sidepiece on hand for doing the dirty, and a neat/young/respectable main for going out in public with?

Because if so, you disgust me. There's a ~50/50 gender split among the global population and some of us are struggling to find even one partner. Save the old and ratty folks for someone who will appreciate them for who they are!

TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 8h (2 replies)

I understand no part of this in any way. What the hell does scrubbing anything have to do with anything and how is it the bane of anyone's existence?

Ps this is obviously not real too right? I've not seen a version of him before now that screams such weirdness.

Badabinski@kbin.earth · 1 pts · 3h (1 reply)

When you use a scrubby sponge on a scorched pan, the scrubby part becomes much darker and seems gross and dirty. It can be very difficult to remove the gross brown stain from the sponge. People like to use sponges for a while, but nobody wants to use the gross brown poop sponge, so folks attempt to clean them. This process is extremely frustrating.

TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3h

Ok that makes sense. Still not totally sure what the American Idol dude has to do with it. But the image is definitely fake. I looked at several recent pictures of him and at his very oddest looking was nowhere near as weird as the photo in this post.