Wait, you are capable of taking care of what your child accesses online without the government censoring the internet for everyone??? That's impossible!
It's labor doing it in the UK. It's the people who people label fascists saying the internet should be free, at least there. In the US it seems to be the opposite.
I believe 'crabs' used to mean an std at some point, but I don't remember which one. And as we all know, sexual knowledge of all kind is scary stuff, so... Oooooh, protect the kids!
OMFG I'm old. Yeah, pubic lice are tiny insects (lice) that live on your junk. VERY itchy, otherwise harmless.
Got 'em once and then they came back a couple of months later. Slept in my dad's guest room after his best friend. Didn't even get laid!
Anyway, once internet porn became a thing everyone started shaving their pubes. That was mostly the end of 'em. Saw a crazy story out of Britain where people were volunteering to host them, keep the species alive for study.
If you catch these rare creatures, like a Pokemon from hell, you need nothing special to kill 'em off. I read the ingredients on a bottle of lice shampoo, nothing more than bug spray (pyrethrins) mixed with shampoo. Shave your junk, mix household bug spray into shampoo, wash every bit of your clothes and bedclothes in hot, soapy water, done. Use pyrethrins! I cannot vouch for any other shit you find in your cabinets!
Idk the fuck you want. We already have gooner brains thanks to unregulated AI use. And news of the creepy shit facebook is pulling off. It's the parents who are explicitly expected to teach them that stuff. If not, then a sex ed teacher. You can't just let them get whatever NSFW stuff they want, it's proven to ruin brains.
I like to pride myself on being knowledgeable enough to clarify and expand on carcinology topics on Lemmy, but I don't know enough about crab neuroscience to know how effective this would be. I'm sorry, Lemmy.
Oh yeah?? Where's your evidence? Have any scientific literature you'd like to share with the class? Well then I'll be at the intertidal zone setting up my classroom.
Good thing we humans don’t have to actually worry about sea creatures learning to read and using that knowledge to hide amongst you as some sort of secret invasion in your primitive human societies, eh? That’s such a silly thing to think about. Heh…
Yeah, totally, it’s such a far off possibility, and would realistically never be anything for the humans to worry about, like, at all, and it’s just dumb to think it might have been something going on for the past few decades at least. So silly and ridiculous, absurd really. Anybody saying otherwise is a fool, and if you happen to hear anyone spouting that kind of nonsense please inform me about it immediately. No reason, but please do let me know.
By the teeth of Nanaue, if you don’t shut your fucking mouth I will shut it for you, now stop spouting such ridiculous nonsense before you make even more of a fool out of yourself! Not cool.
This design baffles me. If you have your parental software set to block certain things, sure. But why would it need to snitch on attempts to access specific content? If your kid is smart and able to bypass the filter you'd never be notified anyway... So either block it or don't!
Lobsters don’t die due to old age. Instead, they end up at the seafood buffet or die from exhaustion during moulting – the process where they replace their shell due to their increasing size.
I mean the literate crabs would look creepier. But I could probably take them down with a flame thrower and some butter. Bears on the other hand, I’m not so sure.
If they teach crabs how to read, there’s a risk their society will advance to the levels seen in Carcinia, leading to a downfall of overcleanliness as king camtcha bleaches the city against the advice of his wizards, throwing the entire old ocean into disarray.
Having some shitty corporation already monitor your children lest they gain the forbidden knowledge and lest the parent would have to spend actual time with their kids.
67 Comments
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 192 pts · 356d
Wait, you are capable of taking care of what your child accesses online without the government censoring the internet for everyone??? That's impossible!
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 61 pts · 356d
Fascists hate this one simple trick!
x0x7@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 356d
It's labor doing it in the UK. It's the people who people label fascists saying the internet should be free, at least there. In the US it seems to be the opposite.
Maybe the problem is authoritarians.
Hawke@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 356d
Always has been.
st3ph3n@midwest.social · 136 pts · 356d
FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 356d
The dark magics are not to be revealed to one so young.
FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 356d
If they learn the secret of the crab computer too early, they’ll never be the same.
echodot@feddit.uk · 10 pts · 356d
The world of sideways mathematics is not for you child.
x0x7@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 356d
I'm not a parent but it must be weird. Hmmm, yes, I think I'm going to establish what is FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE
ThatGuyNamedZeus@feddit.org · 66 pts · 356d
wow...Kaspersky really sucks now, huh?
Emptiness@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 356d
What do you mean? It's great for russian intelligence.
stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 356d
Forbidden knowledge.... You must forget the crab people....
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 355d
Taste like crab, read like people
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works · 50 pts · 356d
Sounds like something Strairdrac the Netherwatcher would do.
Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social · 44 pts · 356d
I mean, crabs are dangerously enough already with those strong claws, do we really want them learning how to read too? Think about it….
[taps forehead meme]
ummthatguy@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 356d
lath@piefed.social · 41 pts · 356d
I believe 'crabs' used to mean an std at some point, but I don't remember which one. And as we all know, sexual knowledge of all kind is scary stuff, so... Oooooh, protect the kids!
Ele7en7@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 356d
Uh, crabs means crabs bruh
davidagain@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 356d
Pubic lice.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 356d
Public Ice was my rap name in the 90s.
sundray@lemmus.org · 17 pts · 356d
Right, part of Pubic Enemy, weren't you?
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 356d
Fuck the po’ lice.
shalafi@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 356d
OMFG I'm old. Yeah, pubic lice are tiny insects (lice) that live on your junk. VERY itchy, otherwise harmless.
Got 'em once and then they came back a couple of months later. Slept in my dad's guest room after his best friend. Didn't even get laid!
Anyway, once internet porn became a thing everyone started shaving their pubes. That was mostly the end of 'em. Saw a crazy story out of Britain where people were volunteering to host them, keep the species alive for study.
If you catch these rare creatures, like a Pokemon from hell, you need nothing special to kill 'em off. I read the ingredients on a bottle of lice shampoo, nothing more than bug spray (pyrethrins) mixed with shampoo. Shave your junk, mix household bug spray into shampoo, wash every bit of your clothes and bedclothes in hot, soapy water, done. Use pyrethrins! I cannot vouch for any other shit you find in your cabinets!
Alph4d0g@discuss.tchncs.de · 12 pts · 356d
The beaver is only on the endangered list. Not yet extinct.
FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 356d
👀
spicytuna62@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 356d
Specifically, crab lice.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 356d
It was crabs.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 356d
Idk the fuck you want. We already have gooner brains thanks to unregulated AI use. And news of the creepy shit facebook is pulling off. It's the parents who are explicitly expected to teach them that stuff. If not, then a sex ed teacher. You can't just let them get whatever NSFW stuff they want, it's proven to ruin brains.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 356d
Russian spyware.
Forester@pawb.social · 19 pts · 356d
I mean you are not wrong but also they do do legitimate work when daddy kremlins not making them do butt stuff to unwitting cx.
0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 356d
Russian spyware over US spyware over Chinese made hardware.
x0x7@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 356d
And at the very top runs Google Chrome, aka corporate spyware.
gedaliyah@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 356d
"Wait, what? Why?"
Maiq@lemy.lol · 9 pts · 356d
Everyone needs a hobby.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 356d
I like to pride myself on being knowledgeable enough to clarify and expand on carcinology topics on Lemmy, but I don't know enough about crab neuroscience to know how effective this would be. I'm sorry, Lemmy.
x0x7@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 356d
Not very effective.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 356d
Oh yeah?? Where's your evidence? Have any scientific literature you'd like to share with the class? Well then I'll be at the intertidal zone setting up my classroom.
clif@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 355d
Thank you for your service and also for being humble enough to admit there are limits to your vast knowledge.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 355d
Good thing we humans don’t have to actually worry about sea creatures learning to read and using that knowledge to hide amongst you as some sort of secret invasion in your primitive human societies, eh? That’s such a silly thing to think about. Heh…
SugarCatDestroyer@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 355d
FuckFascism@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 355d
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 354d
Yeah, totally, it’s such a far off possibility, and would realistically never be anything for the humans to worry about, like, at all, and it’s just dumb to think it might have been something going on for the past few decades at least. So silly and ridiculous, absurd really. Anybody saying otherwise is a fool, and if you happen to hear anyone spouting that kind of nonsense please inform me about it immediately. No reason, but please do let me know.
TomArrr@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 355d
'your' primitive human societies?
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 355d
Our. I meant our, obviously, duh. Our glorious tasty societies. It was a typo, a simple typo. That’s all.
DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 355d
Hmm. I'm starting to suspect you may be a shark in a man suit.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 355d
That’s ridiculous. You’re ridiculous. Shut your stupid fucking mouth.
DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 2 pts · 354d
Nice try, shark.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 354d
By the teeth of Nanaue, if you don’t shut your fucking mouth I will shut it for you, now stop spouting such ridiculous nonsense before you make even more of a fool out of yourself! Not cool.
Empricorn@feddit.nl · 19 pts · 356d
This design baffles me. If you have your parental software set to block certain things, sure. But why would it need to snitch on attempts to access specific content? If your kid is smart and able to bypass the filter you'd never be notified anyway... So either block it or don't!
Nalivai@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 355d
And pass such an amazing opportunity to punish a child? And if the search is bad enough, you can even beat them up, isn't that delightful?
Empricorn@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 355d
Hmm, I do love beating children... At Mario Kart!
rumba@lemmy.zip · 18 pts · 355d
Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll, Scroll, scroll, scroll
[x] Teaching crabs how to read
click
[ ] Teaching crabs how to read
phew, bullet dodged
Wispy2891@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 355d
The way this is phrased, looks like some dystopian authoritarian government might send as a last warning to a parent
NoodlePoint@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 356d
For a computer security program it is overreaching to the point of ridiculousness.
TomMasz@piefed.social · 11 pts · 356d
Teach the crabs how to read and the next thing you know lobsters will be doing the tango. It's a slippery slope my friends.
sqgl@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 355d
Lobsters don’t die due to old age. Instead, they end up at the seafood buffet or die from exhaustion during moulting – the process where they replace their shell due to their increasing size.
https://www.unsw.edu.au/newsroom/news/2022/09/what-lobsters-can-teach-us-about-immortality0
If they read the above then they may figure out to stop moulting and live forever. And imagine the knowledge they could accumulate!
Akasazh@feddit.nl · 11 pts · 356d
Who could have gotten that Strairdrac, the Netherwatcher would seek forbidden knowledge?
WizardofIs@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 356d
Carcinization!
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 10 pts · 356d
There's a list of things to not mess around with. Crabs are a bit lower than squirrels, but not by much.
javiwhite@feddit.uk · 9 pts · 355d
Wish my parents named me something cool like stairdrarc the netherwatcher.
ceenote@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 356d
Genetically Engineered Crabs Pose No Threat
Album@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 356d
If crabs could read there would be no stopping them.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 356d
Probably bears too.
I mean the literate crabs would look creepier. But I could probably take them down with a flame thrower and some butter. Bears on the other hand, I’m not so sure.
Narauko@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 355d
We must never let the crabs know about carcinization, or they will become insufferably egotistical.
Katana314@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 356d
If they teach crabs how to read, there’s a risk their society will advance to the levels seen in Carcinia, leading to a downfall of overcleanliness as king camtcha bleaches the city against the advice of his wizards, throwing the entire old ocean into disarray.
wulrus@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 355d
As someone who is into this era of retro computing, I'm so glad that there is an incentive to keep producing them at a somewhat okay price!
They are really essential and without alternative, for example for a reinstall.
Someone64@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 355d
What
wulrus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 354d
Not sure how my comment got here: It was for the comment about floppy discs still in production.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 354d
This is so fucking sad
Having some shitty corporation already monitor your children lest they gain the forbidden knowledge and lest the parent would have to spend actual time with their kids.