They changed to article. Edited out all references to diseases.
So crappy journalism.
I'm starting to think that link aggregators like the Threadiverse software and Reddit should keep a log of headlines, or at least headlines that they see, because it's a real issue for discussion on those sites. Like, maybe check and update at a geometrically-increasing interval (at submission time, after 1 hour, after 2 hours, after 4 hours, after 8 hours, etc).
If you go back and re-read the article, you'll find it's been edited, and now has no mention of any diseases and says the monkeys weren't infectious. So I think it was clickbait, after all.
The university says that if the monkeys leave the wreck site, they must be shot.
The only counter to a troop of aggressive monkeys carrying diseases dangerous to humans is a bunch of Mississippians running around with firearms who have been waiting for this very moment all their lives.
Has the article been edited since being posted here? Because it doesn't mention any of those diseases, and actually says the monkeys weren't infectious.
Yup. When I read the article a few hours ago, it was a lot scarier than it is now.
Everybody makes occasional mistakes, but the journalistic norm is to append a correction, which isn't here. Something like, "An earlier version of this story incorrectly reported that the escaped monkeys would kill you and your family. WLBT regrets the error."
According to the article, the lab is sending someone to pick them up. I feel like the problem with having a shipment of herpes monkeys and COVID-19 monkeys breaking open is that in short order, you're probably going to have a shipment of monkeys who all have both COVID-19 and herpes, which probably isn't what the lab wanted.
I'd be aggressive too, if people kept giving me horrible diseases then testing medicine with unknown side effects, while also keeping me locked up without any affection.
Also, imagine the loose one infecting other wildlife.
Good news out of North American wildlife none should be susceptible to these diseases.
Bad news just all the humans on the continent are
Neither good nor bad, wayyy more humans in Mississippi already have these diseases. 40 monkeys is nothing. Unless they were experimenting with something weird
They were not infected with anything, and they posed no threat to humans. That was all just something claimed by an inbred hick sheriff, who was looking for an excuse to use his military equipment to kill monkeys.
The source the sheriff's office used is the truck driver.
The university said they do have some monkeys that are infectious, but none were on this semi trailer.
Sheriff's office didn't think maybe they should corroborate the truck driver's story before telling the news there was aggressive infectious monkeys running around.
“That driver there? That’s ol’ Hank. We told ‘em them monkeys had 5G COVID on the account of so he won’t try to have his way with one of ‘em. This is Mississippi after all…”
I would definitely bet the driver didn't say anything like that and the cops just called in whatever they thought they needed to say to get to shoot monkeys.
Sadly, unlikely, as the monkeys are wildly unable to, in such an alien environment, identify banjo strumming from other less-foreboding native wildlife sounds.
68 Comments
Mynameisallen@lemmy.zip · 139 pts · 324d
Now that’s a headline that isn’t clickbait, it fucking click kidnapped me
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 73 pts · 324d
Damn. I’m taking stock of everything we’ve lost in the headline:
My god, this might actually be good honest journalism!
AcidiclyBasicGlitch@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 324d
They forgot hepatitis
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 323d
It was in the article. Emphasis on was since the entire article has been changed since I posted
RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com · 1 pts · 324d
Not real.
Typotyper@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 323d
They changed to article. Edited out all references to diseases.
So crappy journalism.
Edit Apparently a lo of people have mentioned this here. I simply didn't read far enough.
tal@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 322d
I'm starting to think that link aggregators like the Threadiverse software and Reddit should keep a log of headlines, or at least headlines that they see, because it's a real issue for discussion on those sites. Like, maybe check and update at a geometrically-increasing interval (at submission time, after 1 hour, after 2 hours, after 4 hours, after 8 hours, etc).
grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one · 3 pts · 324d
“diseased monkeys pan careless driver”
tal@lemmy.today · 37 pts · 324d
"Florida Man's Outbreak Monkeys on the Rampage in Mississippi"
ftmpch@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 324d
If you go back and re-read the article, you'll find it's been edited, and now has no mention of any diseases and says the monkeys weren't infectious. So I think it was clickbait, after all.
Mynameisallen@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 324d
That’s how they get ya
Mog_fanatic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 323d
That's just what the corpos over at Big Rhesus Monkey wants you to think.
Rothe@piefed.social · 2 pts · 323d
Except that it did turn out to be lying clickbait.
tal@lemmy.today · 78 pts · 324d
The only counter to a troop of aggressive monkeys carrying diseases dangerous to humans is a bunch of Mississippians running around with firearms who have been waiting for this very moment all their lives.
PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world · 60 pts · 324d
itsthesamepicture.jpg
zewm@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 324d
Oh I remember watching Outbreak, great movie.
tal@lemmy.today · 22 pts · 324d
I'm now imagining RFK, Jr. managing a major national health disaster.
atzanteol@sh.itjust.works · 43 pts · 324d
He is...
eatCasserole@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 324d
"Managing" is being a bit generous.
atzanteol@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 324d
Not implying he's managing well. :-)
QueenFern@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 324d
etherphon@midwest.social · 8 pts · 324d
ftmpch@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 324d
Has the article been edited since being posted here? Because it doesn't mention any of those diseases, and actually says the monkeys weren't infectious.
DougHolland@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 324d
Yup. When I read the article a few hours ago, it was a lot scarier than it is now.
Everybody makes occasional mistakes, but the journalistic norm is to append a correction, which isn't here. Something like, "An earlier version of this story incorrectly reported that the escaped monkeys would kill you and your family. WLBT regrets the error."
SoloCritical@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 324d
It’s probably because it’s all AI generated bullshit. There is no real journalism anymore.
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 323d
Yes it's kinda crazy they completely changed the article and there's no indication that they changed it
syreus@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 323d
Clickbait and switch.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 324d
I’d make a joke about the coming zombie apocalypse but I’ve given up hope of ever not going to work tomorrow.
crank0271@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 324d
Your employer would give you a day off for zombie apocalypse? Most of us would have to take a sick day and bring a doctor's note.
WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 324d
Is your employer your elementary school teacher by any chance?
I do not understand how Americans just bend over and take this every day, pretending they have no power to do anything about it.
DougHolland@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 324d
Sounds like the first scene of Steven Seagal's next movie...
WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social · 9 pts · 324d
Fairly certain this was a film, based on a Robin Cook book….might have been Outbreak.
DonkMagnum@lemy.lol · 4 pts · 324d
I was thinking Jason Statham, but yeah.
DougHolland@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 324d
Probably a generational difference. I'm old.
SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one · 23 pts · 324d
A truck hauling white MAGA overturned?
Oh the horror. The shame of it.
1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 324d
lol, there it is.
tal@lemmy.today · 15 pts · 324d
According to the article, the lab is sending someone to pick them up. I feel like the problem with having a shipment of herpes monkeys and COVID-19 monkeys breaking open is that in short order, you're probably going to have a shipment of monkeys who all have both COVID-19 and herpes, which probably isn't what the lab wanted.
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 324d
They also have hepatitis C
crank0271@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 324d
Ah, well that's what the lab wanted. All good.
gedaliyah@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 324d
Someone call Dustin Hoffman!
SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org · 5 pts · 324d
The headline sounds like the B-movie spoof of this one.. "These monkeys have herpes AND COVID... and they're fucking pissed"
MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 324d
Also the CDC doesn't have the budget that movie has. Today's CDC would be lucky to be given a $10 Walmart grabber stick to catch the monkey with.
WhatGodIsMadeOf@feddit.org · 13 pts · 324d
Didn't this happen during COVID too...?
Maeve@kbin.earth · 10 pts · 324d
I'd be aggressive too, if people kept giving me horrible diseases then testing medicine with unknown side effects, while also keeping me locked up without any affection.
Also, imagine the loose one infecting other wildlife.
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 324d
Well some good news and some bad news.
Good news out of North American wildlife none should be susceptible to these diseases.
Bad news just all the humans on the continent are
Neither good nor bad, wayyy more humans in Mississippi already have these diseases. 40 monkeys is nothing. Unless they were experimenting with something weird
Rothe@piefed.social · 9 pts · 323d
They were not infected with anything, and they posed no threat to humans. That was all just something claimed by an inbred hick sheriff, who was looking for an excuse to use his military equipment to kill monkeys.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 324d
I didn't expect the 28 days series to be what turned out to be a documentary but I'm also not surprised
cyborganism@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 324d
This sounds like a sketch from South Park.
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 324d
Sounds like a job for Jimbo
Balaquina@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 324d
It was coming right for me!
Two_Hangmen@midwest.social · 8 pts · 324d
The source the sheriff's office used is the truck driver.
The university said they do have some monkeys that are infectious, but none were on this semi trailer.
Sheriff's office didn't think maybe they should corroborate the truck driver's story before telling the news there was aggressive infectious monkeys running around.
4am@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 324d
“That driver there? That’s ol’ Hank. We told ‘em them monkeys had 5G COVID on the account of so he won’t try to have his way with one of ‘em. This is Mississippi after all…”
otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 324d
Low-key curious how said monkey is the driver's sister.
yogurt@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 324d
I would definitely bet the driver didn't say anything like that and the cops just called in whatever they thought they needed to say to get to shoot monkeys.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 324d
If I were sick, and you packed me into a truck and headed for Florida, I'd be aggressive, too.
zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 323d
I hear that they prefer to be called MAGA, not monkeys.
NatakuNox@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 324d
I actually had this one on my bingo card.
otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 324d
Mine implied that the truck made it further along toward its destination, but yeah: samesies
BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 324d
Hope the monkeys stay safe from the native Mississippians
otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 324d
Sadly, unlikely, as the monkeys are wildly unable to, in such an alien environment, identify banjo strumming from other less-foreboding native wildlife sounds.
HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 323d
Quick someone call Dustin Hoffman!
rayyy@piefed.social · 3 pts · 323d
Did the Epstein files escape too?
treadful@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 324d
Did they really need to make them aggressive?
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 324d
That's kinda how wild animals come outta the box.
MourningDove@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 324d
1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 324d
leave it to America to have something like this happen.
No1@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 324d
I am surprised, angry, and now scared that this is not an Onion article...
xc2215x@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 324d
Herpes and COVID together ? Wow.
lorski@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 324d
jfc
robocall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 324d
Poor monkeys need someone to give them a hug
homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 324d
And no one noticed