::: spoiler Transcription White text on black background that reads “if you do these for 30 days you will be unrecognizable
- sleep 8+ hours
- drink 2L minimum of water a day (high pH if possible)
- get sun daily
- no sugar
- read for 30 mins a day
- workout 3x / week
- capture someone and cut their face off and sew it onto your face
- meditate for 10 mins daily :::
65 Comments
Jumuta@sh.itjust.works · 65 pts · 279d
ok imma drink 2L of bleach
ickplant@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 279d
You will become unrecognizable.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 279d
It will, at least, kill the COVID
MisterFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
Pro-tip: Sodium Hydroxide would be even higher pH at equal concentrations.
Treczoks@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 279d
The unrecognizable will already come with "2L water (high pH if possible)". Just go for "water" with pH 14. Two liters a day will make you unrecognizable.
gigachad@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 279d
I can also recommend to drink with the highest pH possible. I mean, pH 14 is only double the amount of pH 7, right guys?
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 21 pts · 279d
So drinking 1L of pH 14 water is the same as 2L of pH 7. Efficiency
piranhaconda@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 278d
I only see pH 1 in the cupboard, guess I'll just have to chug 14 L of it today
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 278d
Rules are rules.
Also iirc it's an exponent scale. So I think you have to drink.. 2^14 L? Idk tbh. Maphs.
18107@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 279d
I'm still waiting for 600pH water to be sold online.
Relevant (watch to 2:33)
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 279d
This “high ph” garbage is such crap. A few years back people were chugging apple cider vinegar to acidify your blood or whatever BS that was.
Our bodies regulate themselves when it comes to ph, drinking water of a certain ph won’t change that. Just like drinking juices or sodas that have citric acid don’t mess it up. Alkaline water benefits are a myth.
But if it helps you drink more water instead of junk drinks, go for it.
village604@adultswim.fan · 3 pts · 278d
ACV is great for muscle cramps, though.
musubibreakfast@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
I remember this. There was a girl that basically ruined her jaw and teeth by drinking vinegar.
ickplant@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 279d
I love how the most debated thing on the list became the alkaline water. Love you, guys.
T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 279d
How high are PH we talking here?
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca · 32 pts · 279d
14.1 would be ideal.
ryannathans@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 279d
Unbuffered I hope
T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 279d
Sounds unpleasant
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 279d
Just all the hydroxides. No positivity allowed
awful_neutral@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 279d
You lost me at meditate
Boring as fuck
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 279d
BluesF@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 279d
I knew there was something I wasn't doing
wingiee@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 279d
Yeah I should also start meditating
1984@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 279d
I tried drinking a lot every day but noticed no difference except needing to go to toilet like 5 times per day and watch my pee come out almost without any yellow color at all.
SirHery@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 279d
Yeah that's the kidney stone prevention. Almost no colour is correct iirc.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 279d
Yes. If your urine is dark yellow, you're dehydrated.
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
There's two possibilities here: either you were already getting proper hydration from food (fruit, vegetables, soups, stews etc all have a bunch of water), or you weren't getting proper hydration from drinking water. The latter could be because you lack electrolytes (you can buy em as a powder and add to your water), or you weren't spacing out your drinking properly. You can only absorb so much water at once (about 250ml every quarter hour at most). Sipping slowly all day is key, chugging a lot at once isn't going to benefit you much(unless you're trying to fight a urinary tract issue like kidney stones or sometimes a UTI).
OwlPaste@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 279d
So where does work to live fit into this?
hayvan@feddit.nl · 10 pts · 279d
Step 1: be born into generational wealth
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 3 pts · 279d
All the things on the list are free. Just don't waste time watching TV/playing video games and don't have kids.
Morph9@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 279d
Damn! My sewing skill sucks.
ickplant@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 279d
Don’t give up, that just means you gotta practice. Maybe start with a child, their skin is softer and easier to manipulate.
Morph9@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 279d
Thank you! I'll start practicing right away. 👍
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 279d
ADHD brain made me skip the most important line: take your meds people
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
Can confirm, have takeny concerta, skipped most of it to look for the joke and only read the second from last one properly. Efficient humor consumption.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 7 pts · 279d
Ok, so read more, workout less and saw stranger's face onto my own. Got it.
HollowNaught@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
BRB gotta start my daily bleach warerboarding session
Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 278d
Is bleach a form of water?
HollowNaught@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
Almost all liquids are
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 6 pts · 279d
There's only one on there that I simply can't do.
I can't stand the sun for long.
SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 279d
At least your face wouldn't burn
galacticwaffle@lemmings.world · 6 pts · 279d
fonix232@fedia.io · 4 pts · 279d
I did do it at one point, but the reading was more like 3-5 hours a day, and hardcore dark romance smut.
My girlfriend broke up with me because "she couldn't recognise me in bed". In hindsight, making her ride the handle of a knife might've been a smidge too far.
Aeao@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 279d
Really depends on the girl. I knew a girl once who wanted the grip of my gun in her. Well she wanted the other end but I believe in always treating a gun like it’s loaded. So we settled on the grip.
Whatever you are into their is someone out there into it too.
That girl is a teacher now.
fonix232@fedia.io · 5 pts · 279d
Okay so admission time, that's not really why we broke up. The cadence of the story was just better that way.
In reality, we "broke up" (reduced the number of dates we had) because we were in a poly relationship and things were becoming more serious (as in, thinking about children and getting married) with her primary, which I fully support.
The books were after her recommendation, by the way, they did unlock a few new kinks (and reinforced plenty existing ones), and the sentence "I can barely recognise you (in bed)" was indeed muttered a few times, so I was mostly truthful, but you can see why the cadence came out better in the original comment.
Aeao@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 279d
Timing is everything. In bed and out.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 279d
I do not know how meditating 10 min/day morphs into a Leatherface audition, but I'm hitting up my zafu right now!
RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 279d
Ok, but how many times per week should I get a new skin-mask? I find that if I try more than twice per week, maintaining the prison pit will start to be a real chore.
Railing5132@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again.
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 5 pts · 278d
No sugar? That's vile!
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 5 pts · 279d
Literally can't do the first one. What now?
helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 279d
Capture who is preventing you from accomplishing the first.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 279d
okay i put myself in the hole. now what?
helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 279d
Follow step 7.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 279d
Capture two people.
Buffy@libretechni.ca · 4 pts · 279d
I might try this.
arcterus@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 279d
911 please send help
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 278d
Couldn't I just... Remove my own face? That seems like less work.
ickplant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
You could, but that might come with some side effects.
TootSweet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 279d
Jerb322@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 279d
No sugar? I'm good...
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 279d
If it works for you, great. But ph water is bullshit , outside of a few specific uses.
GuyFawkes@midwest.social · 2 pts · 279d
How strict is that no sugar thing?
Aeao@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 279d
It’s your road to growth. If you can do it all except the sugar you are still doing better than you were before.
You can always tackle the sugar problem down the road when you’re ready to.
__dev@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
Very strict. No sugar and no sugar derivatives. Zero carbs. Zero fiber. You must sustain yourself on pure fat and protein powder.
Anivia@feddit.org · 0 pts · 279d
Not strict at all. Sugar is harmless unless you are a diabetic, or eating excess calories
TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
I see Bubba has moved past his redneck southern roots and decided to embrace modern health culture while still staying true to who he is.