That there is a 5th generation dildo farmer. His pappy's pappy's pappy's pappy's pappy started farming dildos after the civil war. Because he couldn't have slave labour, he had to farm those dildos himself.
It's hard work dildo farming, having to squat and anally pickup each dildo before the invention of the combine harvester. His family prospered thanks to a strong work ethic and an unrelenting desire to shove dildos up his ass.
His arms are incredibly uneven, I can tell you with near-prophetic clarity which hand this man jorks it with. What an embarrassing revelation for this dildo enthusiast
I know, right? I’ve messaged his boss on LinkedIn to tell him and we’ve bonded over the whole mortifying ordeal. I’m pretty sure his boss jerks it with his right. Soon I’ll have reached the top of his organization, and then the world. Society’s thirst for masturbation gossip is nearly unquenchable, but my reservoir runneth over
Whoa, you can’t just sling hard Rs and Fs like that. What the hell, man? (They deleted their comment before I saw it and this is 100% a joke at their expense, I have no clue what they actually wrote. Lemmy should probably remove comments, rather than swapping the contents of the comment for “deleted by creator”)
Edit: or disable replies on deleted comments. It’s pretty easy to mess with people, as things currently are
If that's the selection of dildos in the South, we need to wall those people off.
We have superior toys in the North. No wonder southerners are so unhappy all the time with their inferior dildos.
65 Comments
Denjin@feddit.uk · 67 pts · 267d
This is pretty funny, but you can clearly see where the dildo rack has been photoshopped in.
bricklove@midwest.social · 28 pts · 267d
There's no way this guy could afford that many high quality dildos
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 267d
The guy also doesn't have the muscle mass to operate a dildo.
UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 267d
Anytime the pics are blurry I get skeptical.
nexguy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 267d
If you take out the rack I think....i think it makes it worse.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 1 pts · 267d
What, is the rack covering a lolicon manga collection?
guy@piefed.social · 1 pts · 266d
A nicer dildo rack was photoshopped in to cover the trash dildo rack that was there before. The dildos are OG
Godort@lemmy.ca · 53 pts · 267d
There are at least 4 Bad Dragon toys on that shelf. I'd defend them too. Those fuckers are expensive
Mirshe@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 267d
I was about to say, just from the few BD toys I can identify, that's an easy $4-600 depending on size.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 267d
Are you two spending hours wistfully browsing the BD catalogue?
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 267d
Are you knot?! I easily have 2k USD in bad dragon toys.
davidagain@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 266d
Did you mean to spell it "knot" instead of "not"?!
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 266d
Myeeeeess owo
davidagain@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 266d
You randy bugger!
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 40 pts · 267d
That there is a 5th generation dildo farmer. His pappy's pappy's pappy's pappy's pappy started farming dildos after the civil war. Because he couldn't have slave labour, he had to farm those dildos himself.
It's hard work dildo farming, having to squat and anally pickup each dildo before the invention of the combine harvester. His family prospered thanks to a strong work ethic and an unrelenting desire to shove dildos up his ass.
MTZ@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 267d
Quadhammer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 267d
It's not much, it's dog honest work?
ruplicant@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 267d
pero = but
perro = dog
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 34 pts · 267d
His arms are incredibly uneven, I can tell you with near-prophetic clarity which hand this man jorks it with. What an embarrassing revelation for this dildo enthusiast
einlander@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 267d
Charger!
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 8 pts · 267d
"you jerk with your left hand" wow, such embarassing. What will the neighbors think??
Honestly I'd need to see them in the same position anyway. Angles can be wildly deceiving for arms.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 267d
I know, right? I’ve messaged his boss on LinkedIn to tell him and we’ve bonded over the whole mortifying ordeal. I’m pretty sure his boss jerks it with his right. Soon I’ll have reached the top of his organization, and then the world. Society’s thirst for masturbation gossip is nearly unquenchable, but my reservoir runneth over
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 267d
Based on that neck, I'd say his masturbatory habits are predominantly oral.
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 267d
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 267d
Whoa, you can’t just sling hard Rs and Fs like that. What the hell, man? (They deleted their comment before I saw it and this is 100% a joke at their expense, I have no clue what they actually wrote. Lemmy should probably remove comments, rather than swapping the contents of the comment for “deleted by creator”)
Edit: or disable replies on deleted comments. It’s pretty easy to mess with people, as things currently are
Linearity@infosec.pub · 9 pts · 267d
deletes comment
entire thread becomes locked
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 267d
If you care to know, I just accidentally replied to the wrong post lol
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 267d
I figured it was something silly like that. I just can’t help but make that joke at every time I can. I hope you also got a little kick out of it!
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 267d
I did poop a lil' bit
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 267d
You’re welcome and/or sorry!
ByteJunk@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 267d
What are you talking about, what's a dildo? That's mom's figurine collection, she likes them very much and plays with them all the time.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 32 pts · 267d
The South Rides Dick Again!
HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 20 pts · 267d
I want to believe this is fake, but I know people like this exist...
finitebanjo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 266d
I love the meme butt there is a white line around the top shelf dildo that implies a photo edit.
popekingjoe@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 267d
The "Superior" Race here folks. Peak humanity.
(/s if not obvious)
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 4 pts · 267d
What you don’t think he’s peak?
That there is a five-star man.
MTZ@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 267d
When he peaks, all of Philadelphia is going to feel it.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 267d
Ahh that's why he's still supporting Trump. He likes getting fucked in the ass., but doesn't want to be called "gay". Poor little snowflake.
agent_nycto@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 267d
It's his heritage to have to buy men, now he's only buying the part he wants
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 267d
Skinny arms, skinny torso... neck thicker than his head. By anatomical proportionality, he might be the most redneck to ever exist.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 267d
Everyone needs a hobby.
lechekaflan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 266d
Loser with a loser flag.
Acidbath@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 267d
something something the dildos IS the southern agression :^]
Jaysyn@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 266d
Those are the arms of a malnourished meth addict.
And009@lemmynsfw.com · 3 pts · 266d
So a regular meth addict
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 267d
Even though the dildos are photoshopped this captures a greater truth: its just a different type of gooning.
Zier@fedia.io · 4 pts · 267d
If that's the selection of dildos in the South, we need to wall those people off. We have superior toys in the North. No wonder southerners are so unhappy all the time with their inferior dildos.
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 267d
We don't like your kind around here (hetero)
bluegreenpurplepink@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 267d
This isn't even his final form.
yumyumsmuncher@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 267d
fr I find attractive rednecks who likes their prostate to be obliterated
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 267d
What exactly in the hell have I stumbled into here
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 267d
Known fact: Northerners LOVE dildoes.
CircaV@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 266d
bpinyon@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 267d
AI pic 🤣
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 267d
Looks more like bad gimp
Chais@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 267d
Right? He's not even in his suit!
lemmythrowaway597@sh.itjust.works · -51 pts · 267d
MTZ@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 267d
Please take your schizophrenia medication, lol. You are the one who has been following me around from post to post commenting on all of my stuff.
PS: Who is Godric?
Edit: Nevermind. I see that you are just a sock puppet who enjoys posting negativity on a bunch of submissions. Carry on. Have fun!
fuckyou257@sh.itjust.works · -3 pts · 267d
lemmythrowaway597@sh.itjust.works · -37 pts · 267d
Cool have fun gaslighting innocent people!
MTZ@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 267d
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 267d
You two should kiss!!!!
MTZ@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 267d
fartographer@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 267d
Maybe we should kiss
zloubida@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 267d
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 2 pts · 267d
Are you invoking the "apparent rivals secretly making out" yuri meme?
Cypher@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 267d
fuckyou257@sh.itjust.works · -2 pts · 267d
Cypher@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 266d
NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 267d
I'm not in your walls
fuckyou257@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 267d
MTZ@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 266d
You again? Bro please go away lol.
cowfodder@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 266d
Just report him for ban evasion. Admins eventually get around to doing it and he eventually leaves again for a couple months.
fuckyou257@sh.itjust.works · -3 pts · 266d