Can't believe it but I'm actually hoping it turns out to be just a mindless rant for 45 minutes and he forgets to declare war or martial law or himself king or whatever he intended.
I hope he shits himself violently and has a stroke and dies on camera. I want the smell of his shit to be so vile, the secret servicemen who come to his aid instantly projectile puke on his corpse after a really big lunch. I want his administration to slip on the puke and hit their heads hard. Half fataly, and the other half sent to hospices for brain damaged vegetables where they shit themselves constantly. I want the nurses that take care of these vegetables to be abusive and hose the shit off them with a cold garden hose infrequently, until they die of sepsis from shitty bed sores.
Unfortunately, I think he'll be like Kissinger, and his fat fucking hate-filled void where his heart should be is going to keep him alive for another 15 years. The Right is going to Weekend at Bernie's him around as long as physically possible, because they know the backlash to... everything... is going to be severe.
If it just turns into 45 minutes of successive people coming into the room and vomiting from how gross the previous people made the room and passing out in the pile of people and vomit I would die happy.
I "matched" a girl from Venezuela. You know, had her entire profile in Spanish, but spoke perfect English? She was suggesting that maybe the invasion would help free them from Maduro.
Yeah. They're trying to psy-op this already, and they know they don't have the narrative or support it they're gonna try it anyway.
No it's a bush level unforced error. Not just the administration, but the nation as well. Young men are about to go experience the joy of dying in a jungle as the rest of us suffer because the rest of the world fucking hates us and won't trade with us anymore.
That's kind of Trump's MO, though. Distract from anything embarrassing or problematic for him by committing increasingly greater cruelties that push them off the front page.
Nah, it's no psy-op. People truly hold these beliefs. I can't blame them for it after the time they've had with Maduro, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's a belief held by the majority of Venezuelans. In Honduras, people are celebrating the Trump pardon of our narcotrafficker ex-president, saying Trump did the right thing, and cursing the current administration as if it could hold a candle to the crimes we saw during the other guy's time in power. It's unhinged, and yet it's no less true. I can at least sympathize with the Venezuelans who think like that a ton more than I can with my own countrymen, bunch of fucking idiots that they are.
Edit: the perfect English is a byproduct of living in the shadow of the empire. Any chances of financial freedom can only be achieved by working for US companies. That binds you to a race to learn and be good at English as a second language. It's probably true of any decently-sized city south of the US border. Those who don't learn English are destined to end up serving those who do end up learning English.
Would you really put it past him to use the emergency warning system to try to force people to watch his decrepit lard ass talk? Personally I'd go chuck my phone into my car until it's over while playing Cyberpunk 2077 and watching Eva.
You are lying to yourself. He has the most comprehensive medical care on the planet. He is almost certainly having his vitals monitored 24 hours a day. They kept Cheney alive without a working heart 20 years ago.
Trump lived like absolute shit for the majority of his life, regardless of how well they keep an eye on him there are going to be underlying conditions they won't be able to predict. Also his brain is melting, as a general rule the body can keep going for a shit tonne of time so long as the mind works but not really the other way around at least amongst the elderly.
He also absolutely seems like the type to leave a doctor's appointment about how his diet is killing him and get McDonald's on the way home.
Can you imagine being Trump's doctor? He's gotta be a fucking awful patient. Firing people who tell him things he doesn't want to hear is his favorite past time.
I'd be right tempted to prescribe him something that would help one thing but probably nuke his other organs. But I guess that's why I'm not a doc, more of a hacksaw medic, minimal training but I know just enough to keep someone from bleeding out.
Yes I'm aware of such technology, we can do it with kidneys too. Doesn't make it easy to maintain Trumps soft shitty body, bit like keeping a car working, gotta keep up maintance lest you deal with the unfixable sooner than expected.
I am sorry to announce I will step down as President of the United States. I know this will be hard for a lot of people to accept, because of the tremendous work I've done.
But don't worry, the country is in good hands, as J. D. Vance will take over after me, and J. D. Vance will continue the tremendous work we've been doing.
...
Oh and also I'm declaring war on Venezuela, Canada and Denmark.
That is absolutely true, Vance is another type of dangerous, but he may be even more dangerous, because Vance may be less delusional, but he is every bit as evil.
Less easy to manipulate, more ideological, more sly and conniving, more interested in implementing and enforcing theocratic policies, younger, and capable of serving two full terms without inviting legitimate backlash.
Can it be him walked to a guillotine? Cause I'd watch the shit out of that. Otherwise he can go fuck himself cause there's not a goddamn thing floating around in his dementia addled child raping mind I want to hear.
Could have a drinking game for what will be said. But I think we would die of alcohol poisoning.
Joe Biden, Economy, Russia Russia Russia, the laptop from hell, fentanyl, democrat hoax, joe Biden, affordability, groceries, ukraine in 1 day, Europe are mean, Canada is mean, more guard to more blue states, Trump is the best, everyone loves Trump, most popular man in the world, Putin is a nice guy
Honestly, I am hoping it really is just him whine bragging like he always does. He seems bothered that Americans don’t realize how “great” the economy is, so maybe he’s gonna try and talk about that. Anything that isn’t a declaration of war against Venezuela (or anyone else for that matter) I will be relieved by.
He says he is the "peace president".
Says he has stopped some number of wars, but the number is different from last time he said it.
Announces he is starting a war.
Brags about getting a peace medal (from FIFA).
Calls for the military to deploy inside the US.
Denigrates a reporter, drink double if they are in the room.
Announces he is arresting prominent Democrats.
Calls antifa a terrorist organization.
Double drink if he says that Rob Reiner had TDS and deserved it.
Finish the bottle if he admits that he is implicated in the Epstein files, and resigns.
Fucking asshole going lie for Fucking hour. Not watching that, people can post highlights next day. Seriously only Maga will believe anything he says about how great he claims things are going.
Nobody cares what that pedo has to say. Let him fade to irrelevance. If I wanted to listen to an 90 year old man rant all day about shit they don't understand I'd probably become a nurse.
91 Comments
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 104 pts · 242d
Can't believe it but I'm actually hoping it turns out to be just a mindless rant for 45 minutes and he forgets to declare war or martial law or himself king or whatever he intended.
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 80 pts · 242d
I hope he shits himself violently and has a stroke and dies on camera. I want the smell of his shit to be so vile, the secret servicemen who come to his aid instantly projectile puke on his corpse after a really big lunch. I want his administration to slip on the puke and hit their heads hard. Half fataly, and the other half sent to hospices for brain damaged vegetables where they shit themselves constantly. I want the nurses that take care of these vegetables to be abusive and hose the shit off them with a cold garden hose infrequently, until they die of sepsis from shitty bed sores.
I have high hopes.
HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca · 23 pts · 242d
Can I....get in on that wish there bruv
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 242d
My man! Get in on this now. Hope with all your might.
leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 242d
zd9@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 242d
Unfortunately, I think he'll be like Kissinger, and his fat fucking hate-filled void where his heart should be is going to keep him alive for another 15 years. The Right is going to Weekend at Bernie's him around as long as physically possible, because they know the backlash to... everything... is going to be severe.
huquad@lemmy.ml · 14 pts · 242d
Tis the season for miracles after all
Fergie434@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 242d
Same lol
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 241d
If it just turns into 45 minutes of successive people coming into the room and vomiting from how gross the previous people made the room and passing out in the pile of people and vomit I would die happy.
hitmyspot@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 241d
Or advertise a new hotel, like the last time the media believed he had something important to say.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 242d
This is actually most likely.
paultimate14@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 241d
Might just be another advertisement for beans
peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 70 pts · 242d
It's going to be Venezuela.
I "matched" a girl from Venezuela. You know, had her entire profile in Spanish, but spoke perfect English? She was suggesting that maybe the invasion would help free them from Maduro.
Yeah. They're trying to psy-op this already, and they know they don't have the narrative or support it they're gonna try it anyway.
nulluser@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 242d
peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 242d
Normally? Yeah. But this is about invading a foreign country because they nationalized their own oil.
This will involve children getting killed. So... No.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 242d
No it's a bush level unforced error. Not just the administration, but the nation as well. Young men are about to go experience the joy of dying in a jungle as the rest of us suffer because the rest of the world fucking hates us and won't trade with us anymore.
FakeGreekGirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 242d
That's kind of Trump's MO, though. Distract from anything embarrassing or problematic for him by committing increasingly greater cruelties that push them off the front page.
Serinus@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 242d
You'll excuse me for being skeptical.
peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 241d
Which part? The psy-op? The Venezuelan invasion?
Or the fact that I matched with anyone?
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 241d
Yes
peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 241d
Fair
JGrffn@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 241d
Nah, it's no psy-op. People truly hold these beliefs. I can't blame them for it after the time they've had with Maduro, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's a belief held by the majority of Venezuelans. In Honduras, people are celebrating the Trump pardon of our narcotrafficker ex-president, saying Trump did the right thing, and cursing the current administration as if it could hold a candle to the crimes we saw during the other guy's time in power. It's unhinged, and yet it's no less true. I can at least sympathize with the Venezuelans who think like that a ton more than I can with my own countrymen, bunch of fucking idiots that they are.
Edit: the perfect English is a byproduct of living in the shadow of the empire. Any chances of financial freedom can only be achieved by working for US companies. That binds you to a race to learn and be good at English as a second language. It's probably true of any decently-sized city south of the US border. Those who don't learn English are destined to end up serving those who do end up learning English.
52fighters@lemmy.sdf.org · 60 pts · 242d
War in Venezuela? Yes, it's war in Venezuela.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 242d
Or he will announce that the dems are now designated as a terrorist organization
Zexks@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 242d
Special military opperation.
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 242d
Could be Canada or Greenland. Maybe all three?
DaMummy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 242d
We need to bring democracy to the Venezoilian people.
myfunnyaccountname@lemmy.zip · 46 pts · 242d
A naval blockade, is an act of war. So, it’s already started. Hell of a thing to do to stop the release of the Epstein files.
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 46 pts · 241d
This old ass orange child rapist mother fucker thinks this is the 1950s and he's going to be on all 3 channels and everyone will have to watch him.
ksigley@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 241d
He can address deez nuts.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 241d
Would you really put it past him to use the emergency warning system to try to force people to watch his decrepit lard ass talk? Personally I'd go chuck my phone into my car until it's over while playing Cyberpunk 2077 and watching Eva.
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 242d
He’s declaring war on Venezuela
dustyData@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 241d
Probably not, it will be another "special operation".
Mossheart@lemmy.ca · 40 pts · 242d
War were declared.
-Wednesday, probably.
abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 37 pts · 241d
So the US is either:
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 241d
And the US isn't going to:
abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 241d
I mean what it could be saying is something along lines of "The Epstein files are a plot against me, therefore I'm declaring martial law".
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 241d
Martian Law
abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 241d
If he announces that we have irrefutable evidence of extraterrestrial life, I will genuinely flip my shit.
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 241d
Until a pic of Laura Loomer or whatever her name is pops up on tv lol
phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 240d
Why? It'd just be another lie.
abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 240d
With irrefutable evidence?
TwoDogsFighting@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 241d
All of the above.
originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com · 29 pts · 242d
i remember this video of an indian guy who suffers a brain aneurysm on camera.
not outside the realm of possibility... just sayin
nocturne@piefed.social · 42 pts · 242d
Still hoping to see this:
originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com · 30 pts · 242d
MantisToboggon@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 242d
You are lying to yourself. He has the most comprehensive medical care on the planet. He is almost certainly having his vitals monitored 24 hours a day. They kept Cheney alive without a working heart 20 years ago.
leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 242d
Big deal, like most politicians, especially republicans, he didn't have one to start with...
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 242d
Trump lived like absolute shit for the majority of his life, regardless of how well they keep an eye on him there are going to be underlying conditions they won't be able to predict. Also his brain is melting, as a general rule the body can keep going for a shit tonne of time so long as the mind works but not really the other way around at least amongst the elderly.
DaMummy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 242d
Which is why he's making up for lost time. He's trying to get that Kissinger and Chaney lifetime. Which is what I think this address is about.
mister_flibble@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 241d
He also absolutely seems like the type to leave a doctor's appointment about how his diet is killing him and get McDonald's on the way home.
Can you imagine being Trump's doctor? He's gotta be a fucking awful patient. Firing people who tell him things he doesn't want to hear is his favorite past time.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 241d
I'd be right tempted to prescribe him something that would help one thing but probably nuke his other organs. But I guess that's why I'm not a doc, more of a hacksaw medic, minimal training but I know just enough to keep someone from bleeding out.
MantisToboggon@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 242d
https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/cheney-has-heart-pump-but-no-pulse/
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 242d
Yes I'm aware of such technology, we can do it with kidneys too. Doesn't make it easy to maintain Trumps soft shitty body, bit like keeping a car working, gotta keep up maintance lest you deal with the unfixable sooner than expected.
originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com · 4 pts · 242d
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 11 pts · 242d
Maybe if we all think about it hard enough, we can manifest it?
charonn0@startrek.website · 5 pts · 242d
There's a movie where the president (actually a decoy) fakes a stroke during a speech to Congress.
https://youtu.be/pOgf3IaWlgU?t=172
LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 242d
Please let this be "Dave"
edit: YES!
Buffalox@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 241d
I am sorry to announce I will step down as President of the United States. I know this will be hard for a lot of people to accept, because of the tremendous work I've done.
But don't worry, the country is in good hands, as J. D. Vance will take over after me, and J. D. Vance will continue the tremendous work we've been doing.
...
Oh and also I'm declaring war on Venezuela, Canada and Denmark.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 241d
Someone said swapping trump for Vance is like shitting your pants and changing your shirt lol
Buffalox@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 241d
That is absolutely true, Vance is another type of dangerous, but he may be even more dangerous, because Vance may be less delusional, but he is every bit as evil.
Omgpwnies@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 241d
He does not hold the cult of personality though. Trump has "dear leader"-level adulation among MAGATs, Vance has nothing close to that.
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 241d
Less easy to manipulate, more ideological, more sly and conniving, more interested in implementing and enforcing theocratic policies, younger, and capable of serving two full terms without inviting legitimate backlash.
Buffalox@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 241d
True, but it's actually even worse than that, this analysis by a psychiatrist explains how J. D. Vance is psychologically more dangerous than Trump:
JD Vance’s Mind Decoded: Why This Psychiatrist Says He Could Be More Dangerous Than Trump
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErrGHBPzQRs
What If JD Vance Became President? A Bigger Threat to Democracy Than Trump?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hFR6U7eiMc
brucethemoose@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 241d
I'd take Trump over Vance any day.
Trump is Trump, but at the end of the day operates on a lot of emotion.
Vance is smart, like the devil. And more 'sociopath' feeling.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 241d
Or he's going to talk about snakes again.
greenashura@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 241d
You forgot Mexico in that list, he's been testing invasion as well on the southern border
PenguinMage@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 242d
Can it be him walked to a guillotine? Cause I'd watch the shit out of that. Otherwise he can go fuck himself cause there's not a goddamn thing floating around in his dementia addled child raping mind I want to hear.
zd9@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 242d
What if all the stress with Epstein and everything just got to him and we truly had a joint universal Christmas gift? One can only dream.
Unfortunately though I think he'll pull a Kissinger, and the pure vile hate void inside him will keep him alive for another 15 years.
PenguinMage@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 242d
I was always told the good die young, while I admit he's well past his prime, I feel he's evil enough to live damn near forever.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 241d
he will probably try to reanimate/raise the dead Kissinger's corpse to distract the rubes
MonkeMischief@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 241d
If I watched this at all, it'd just be to see if I could fill out my bingo card, here. . .
cheesybuddha@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 241d
Wasn't there a deadline for Epstein file release Friday?
fox2263@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 241d
Could have a drinking game for what will be said. But I think we would die of alcohol poisoning.
Joe Biden, Economy, Russia Russia Russia, the laptop from hell, fentanyl, democrat hoax, joe Biden, affordability, groceries, ukraine in 1 day, Europe are mean, Canada is mean, more guard to more blue states, Trump is the best, everyone loves Trump, most popular man in the world, Putin is a nice guy
Weydemeyer@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 241d
Honestly, I am hoping it really is just him whine bragging like he always does. He seems bothered that Americans don’t realize how “great” the economy is, so maybe he’s gonna try and talk about that. Anything that isn’t a declaration of war against Venezuela (or anyone else for that matter) I will be relieved by.
Doubleohdonut@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 241d
Don't forget shitting on Rob Reiner 🙄😵💫
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 241d
Basically drink on "a lie" and drink yourself into a coma within a record three minutes
Bytemeister@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 241d
I'm going to go drink every time...
He says he is the "peace president". Says he has stopped some number of wars, but the number is different from last time he said it. Announces he is starting a war. Brags about getting a peace medal (from FIFA). Calls for the military to deploy inside the US. Denigrates a reporter, drink double if they are in the room. Announces he is arresting prominent Democrats. Calls antifa a terrorist organization.
Double drink if he says that Rob Reiner had TDS and deserved it.
Finish the bottle if he admits that he is implicated in the Epstein files, and resigns.
friend_of_satan@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 241d
Jerb322@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 241d
I've been trying to think of the name of this movie for a while now. Thanks.
CocaineShrimp@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 242d
Please don't
Fredselfish@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 242d
Fucking asshole going lie for Fucking hour. Not watching that, people can post highlights next day. Seriously only Maga will believe anything he says about how great he claims things are going.
cabillaud@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 241d
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 17 pts · 241d
a "distract from epstein file, and look over here at VENUZUELA AND sending the military against citizens" speech.
Treczoks@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 241d
I really hope he'll break down as a slobbering idiot right on live TV. Best opportunity to show that he has advanced state dementia.
mrmaplebar@fedia.io · 6 pts · 241d
Is he gonna announce that he's a pedophile or is he trying to avoid spoilers?
DarkAri@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 241d
Nobody cares what that pedo has to say. Let him fade to irrelevance. If I wanted to listen to an 90 year old man rant all day about shit they don't understand I'd probably become a nurse.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 20 pts · 241d
he's bringing your country into war and sending your kids to get killed.
Not caring about this asshole is why the USA is the mess it is today.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 241d
I wish I didn't have to care.
xxce2AAb@feddit.dk · 6 pts · 242d
Sure, whatever.
hanrahan@piefed.social · 6 pts · 241d
Hopefukly he forvetts why hes there, falls asleep, mumbles, shits his pants and leaves
Scotty_Trees@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 241d
Can't wait to see which of these comments are completely wrong in a couple hours, hehe!
phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 240d
And what it really was, was moreself-congratulatory bullshit and free-associative dementia-ranting.