What? You mean it? I promise I won't do anything weird haha. All of my laws will be super normal and not involve any of my kinks haha. Y'all are so sweet 🥺. I am very normal and can be trusted with state power
People talk about Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot like they are monsters, but the truth is, they were just regular humans, they had feelings, mothers, ambitions, anxieties. They were just normal men. To call them monsters ignores the full range of human capabilities.
Now if if you want a truly monstrous dictator, and not one of these posers, vote for me.
first thing would be to roll out the Guillotine in front of anyone with a networth of more than 10 Million, and ask an Ultimatum: "Either your Money above 10 Million goes to the Community and Infrastructure or your Head." After it has been settled I would resign.
Absolutely fucking not unless you also make me omniscient so I know the best course of action.
Otherwise my ass is making my mother in charge of education, tell her to find some people who can help us, and then try to let those people who are experts do shit.
Don't need to know the best course of action, delegating to experts and others who are more capable of getting the job done right is literally good leadership. Your first instincts are already better than some career politicians.
Just thinking aloud now but I wonder if stochastic representation would prevent corruption... The average person means well and wants to do a good job. The rest are a loud minority.
Low-discrepancy sampling of the population too. That just means any sample of the total population will closely resemble the total population. AKA accurate representation. No unlucky sampling.
"if the sum of your possessions exceeds 100 M dollars/euros/whatever, your shall lose your civil rights, including the right to have your -shady- death investigated."
You're welcome. Invest in schools and hospitals. You have one week.
FOSS on everyone. No large corporations. Almost everything produced locally. Cars only allowed in rural areas. Public transportation will be like this. No big cities, everyone will be spread into medium-sized ones. People will have houses, and every house will be obliged to have a tree in the front. People will only be allowed a max of two children, and we will have a degrowth economy where population itself will shrink slowly until the end of humanity.
It’s true absolute power corrupts absolutely, I wouldn’t be immune either.
But if we’re talking a 4 year term of dictator, I’m so mad at all the right people, it would probably take four years for me to work through all of that. Even being selfish I wouldn’t get around to the corruption in time, too busy mulching the rich and getting kids school lunches to spite boomers.
Now if I was pushed into a second term, people would start to regret.
We need someone strong of character and values, experienced but able to change, willing but not eager to take up the mantle of leadership, someone who knows that their duty is not to build the future themselves, but to empower others to do so and bring together their successes in one coherent vision.
What I'm saying is: Linus Torvalds for world governor!
I'd actually be a great leader because I know literally the only secret to good leadership (not great, but good): appoint people that are really really good at their jobs so you can do fuck all all day.
But are YOU good at spotting talent? Or at the least do you know someone who is?
This crucial first step (and it is only a first step) runs right up against the Principle-agent problem, and a major result of our inability to recognize talent generally leads to a Market for lemons.
Dictatorships suffer immensely from these problems because the dictator is a national focal point for decisions. Every swindler and scammer in the country is running around trying to fool the dictator. Since the benefits of being on the dictator’s good side are sky-high and the costs of being on their bad side are severe, the incentives for honesty and transparency in communications are nonexistent. This is the source of dictatorship dysfunction.
About the only thing dictators tend to be good at (if they survive) is navigating a complex web of sycophantic and untrustworthy relationships. There is a constant need for surveillance and purging of potential traitors which has the effect of inspiring fear and paranoia throughout the regime. This in turn feeds into the dictator’s own paranoia, which becomes a vicious cycle.
Then you’re not really a dictator then are you? You’re a slacker and the talent spotter is the real dictator. And then people start questioning why you’re even in the picture in the first place. No problem! They get rid of you!
If everything is running well, as it would when you hire competent people to do their jobs, empower them to do them, stay out of their way, and fire incompetent ones, then the people will love you and removing you will be political / actual suicide.
If it isn't, then you can fire the people responsible (the person doing the hiring in your scenario - I'd argue that there's be no reason to be loyal to the person that hired if them if they're empowered to do their jobs, which I've covered, but I digress).
I'd argue that if the person you've chosen to appoint people is somehow acquiring / retaining the loyalty of everyone they're hiring despite their job having nothing at all to do with the jobs that they've hired someone for is a) not actually good at finding talented people b) not doing their job and c) a great example of someone to be fired as per my original system.
I mean. If you get hired in a sales role and the hr person that hired you is like: tell me your secrets, you're not going to spill all the beans just because she brought you on.
The system works. Hire people that are good at their jobs. Fire those that aren't. Do nothing.
I think I see the issue. You’re not just assuming that you’ve been made dictator of an existing society, you’re assuming a completely blank slate society that you get to build up from scratch. Real dictatorships don’t have that luxury. They have to work within existing relationships and power structures. They need the loyalty of powerful people to become dictator in the first place. They don’t just get to hand-pick whoever they want for every role.
Also no closed door meetings, no side hustles, no conflicts of interest. And regular audits just to be safe. If you want to work for the public your business is of public interest.
A friend of mine literally said that he'll be a great leader and should not be questioned after throwing out all sorts of silly ideas on how to improve our city. I told him he'll be worse than the current government and this is why democracy is still the best, because it does not rely on a single point of failure: which is one leader making bad decisions after bad decisions. A good autocrat is only one in a million.
It'll be a prime example of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Can't imagine I'd be able to keep the country running well for more than a year tbh
Affordable housing for everyone, queer accomodations (including transition, sport centres), federated and decentralised worker-owned co-ops being fostered, etc..
I would be willing to try it but honestly I'm too gullible to figure out who would actually do a good job at planning the next democratic government to succeed me.
On one hand not using it to limit the death penalty to billionaires and powerful politicians, to end the war on drugs, to bring ubi and universal healthcare is a loss. To give that up seems immoral.
Also to take the power seems immoral.
Not sure there's a good answer for a good person here.
95 Comments
BadJojo@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 61 pts · 252d
Great. Please refer to me as the god emperor omnissiah from now on. It'll be fine. Trust.
saigot@lemmy.ca · 44 pts · 252d
I was really skeptical until you said trust, now I know I can trust you.
itsmistermoon@piefed.social · 20 pts · 252d
What about Omni-chan?
FerretyFever0@fedia.io · 5 pts · 252d
"WHERE IS OMNI-CHAN?!?!?!" Euthanize me. Please.
UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.org · 9 pts · 252d
as you command god emperor omnissiah🧎
Rusty@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 251d
My friend Horus wanted to visit you.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 251d
I don't know...do I get a third lung?
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml · 53 pts · 252d
Guys
What? You mean it? I promise I won't do anything weird haha. All of my laws will be super normal and not involve any of my kinks haha. Y'all are so sweet 🥺. I am very normal and can be trusted with state power
UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.org · 58 pts · 252d
SARGE@startrek.website · 11 pts · 252d
Neptr@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 252d
And dolls are cute :3
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 251d
Of course comrade! But why do we have to wear these shark costume- STEP COMRADE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 251d
THE SHARK COSTUME STAYS ON OR I PUT YOU IN THE SOUP
gustofwind@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 252d
It will definitely be different yes
EpeeGnome@feddit.online · 16 pts · 252d
That was my thought as well. Probably not better, but yeah, different I can do.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 251d
People talk about Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot like they are monsters, but the truth is, they were just regular humans, they had feelings, mothers, ambitions, anxieties. They were just normal men. To call them monsters ignores the full range of human capabilities.
Now if if you want a truly monstrous dictator, and not one of these posers, vote for me.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 252d
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 16 pts · 252d
Good leaders don't seek power.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 252d
That’s what scares me.
Somebody’s gonna make me president because I want nothing to do with any of it.
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 7 pts · 252d
as a dictator, you could install a cabinet of those who you deem competent enough to fill positions of importance.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 252d
That’s still too much work
Juice@midwest.social · 3 pts · 252d
Boooo
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 1 pts · 252d
gone
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 25 pts · 252d
first thing would be to roll out the Guillotine in front of anyone with a networth of more than 10 Million, and ask an Ultimatum: "Either your Money above 10 Million goes to the Community and Infrastructure or your Head." After it has been settled I would resign.
Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 252d
How much is a $25 million mansion worth if you can either die or give it away? Sounds like it's only worth $9 million
Ziglin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 251d
Selling it 12 million should be a no brainer then, right?
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 2 pts · 251d
no no, the appraisals are fixed once I'm in office.
but yeah good loophole you found there.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 251d
That’s not how prices have ever worked, even in command economies (where black markets rule).
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 2 pts · 251d
Do you want the guillotine!?
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 252d
i unironically feel like I would be a better leader than who's currently in charge. hell, a literal naked molerat would probably do a better job
UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.org · 24 pts · 252d
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 250d
on god
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 252d
Absolutely fucking not unless you also make me omniscient so I know the best course of action.
Otherwise my ass is making my mother in charge of education, tell her to find some people who can help us, and then try to let those people who are experts do shit.
Leesi@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 252d
Don't need to know the best course of action, delegating to experts and others who are more capable of getting the job done right is literally good leadership. Your first instincts are already better than some career politicians.
Just thinking aloud now but I wonder if stochastic representation would prevent corruption... The average person means well and wants to do a good job. The rest are a loud minority.
Low-discrepancy sampling of the population too. That just means any sample of the total population will closely resemble the total population. AKA accurate representation. No unlucky sampling.
BaraCoded@literature.cafe · 21 pts · 252d
"if the sum of your possessions exceeds 100 M dollars/euros/whatever, your shall lose your civil rights, including the right to have your -shady- death investigated."
You're welcome. Invest in schools and hospitals. You have one week.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 252d
I promise I'll be benevolent dictator
Ziglin@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 251d
For life?
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 251d
Yes
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 251d
Seems trustworthy enough, I shall be a loyal subject to almighty dictator DickFiasco. 🙇
morto@piefed.social · 15 pts · 252d
FOSS on everyone. No large corporations. Almost everything produced locally. Cars only allowed in rural areas. Public transportation will be like this. No big cities, everyone will be spread into medium-sized ones. People will have houses, and every house will be obliged to have a tree in the front. People will only be allowed a max of two children, and we will have a degrowth economy where population itself will shrink slowly until the end of humanity.
froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 252d
what happens if you give birth to a third kid?..
UnGlasierteGurke@feddit.org · 13 pts · 252d
morto@piefed.social · 12 pts · 252d
Nothing, because I'm too soft to even roleplay as a dictator...
kibiz0r@midwest.social · 15 pts · 251d
No thanks. People don’t wield power, power wields people.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 251d
This, you're not going to be successfully holding on to the position of dictator by directing available resources to what's best for the people.
Aljernon@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 251d
Once down the dark path you begin, forever will it dominate your destiny
Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 252d
i dont trust myself enough .. to have such control over so many peeps.
right now i may think "mhm yes mayb i could do it" but mayb i change with power.
i wouldnt trust any individual peep with that...
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it · 14 pts · 252d
I would trust myself, choose me
lath@piefed.social · 11 pts · 252d
I trust myself too. Choose me instead and I'll make sure the other person ends up in gulag.
binarytobis@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 252d
It’s true absolute power corrupts absolutely, I wouldn’t be immune either.
But if we’re talking a 4 year term of dictator, I’m so mad at all the right people, it would probably take four years for me to work through all of that. Even being selfish I wouldn’t get around to the corruption in time, too busy mulching the rich and getting kids school lunches to spite boomers.
Now if I was pushed into a second term, people would start to regret.
KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 252d
I’m down:
Might throw other things in there, but I think it’d be the shortest lived dictatorship in history.
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 251d
It'll be different
Still bad, but different XD
anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 251d
We need someone strong of character and values, experienced but able to change, willing but not eager to take up the mantle of leadership, someone who knows that their duty is not to build the future themselves, but to empower others to do so and bring together their successes in one coherent vision.
What I'm saying is: Linus Torvalds for world governor!
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 251d
I'd actually be a great leader because I know literally the only secret to good leadership (not great, but good): appoint people that are really really good at their jobs so you can do fuck all all day.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 251d
But are YOU good at spotting talent? Or at the least do you know someone who is?
This crucial first step (and it is only a first step) runs right up against the Principle-agent problem, and a major result of our inability to recognize talent generally leads to a Market for lemons.
Dictatorships suffer immensely from these problems because the dictator is a national focal point for decisions. Every swindler and scammer in the country is running around trying to fool the dictator. Since the benefits of being on the dictator’s good side are sky-high and the costs of being on their bad side are severe, the incentives for honesty and transparency in communications are nonexistent. This is the source of dictatorship dysfunction.
About the only thing dictators tend to be good at (if they survive) is navigating a complex web of sycophantic and untrustworthy relationships. There is a constant need for surveillance and purging of potential traitors which has the effect of inspiring fear and paranoia throughout the regime. This in turn feeds into the dictator’s own paranoia, which becomes a vicious cycle.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 251d
You only need to hire a person that actually is good at spotting talent.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 251d
How are you gonna do that?
Edit: also, how do you keep your talent spotter loyal to you when everyone they hire will be loyal to them, not you?
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 251d
Ask around, then trial and error.
Who fucking cares? I'm doing as little as possible all day. As long as things are getting done well in a timely manner I couldn't care less.
I'm here to do fuck all and make money for it, and the best way to do that sustainably is for things to work well.
When you empower the people under you to do their jobs well then you're not an impediment to their goals.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 251d
Then you’re not really a dictator then are you? You’re a slacker and the talent spotter is the real dictator. And then people start questioning why you’re even in the picture in the first place. No problem! They get rid of you!
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 251d
If everything is running well, as it would when you hire competent people to do their jobs, empower them to do them, stay out of their way, and fire incompetent ones, then the people will love you and removing you will be political / actual suicide.
If it isn't, then you can fire the people responsible (the person doing the hiring in your scenario - I'd argue that there's be no reason to be loyal to the person that hired if them if they're empowered to do their jobs, which I've covered, but I digress).
I'd argue that if the person you've chosen to appoint people is somehow acquiring / retaining the loyalty of everyone they're hiring despite their job having nothing at all to do with the jobs that they've hired someone for is a) not actually good at finding talented people b) not doing their job and c) a great example of someone to be fired as per my original system.
I mean. If you get hired in a sales role and the hr person that hired you is like: tell me your secrets, you're not going to spill all the beans just because she brought you on.
The system works. Hire people that are good at their jobs. Fire those that aren't. Do nothing.
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 251d
I think I see the issue. You’re not just assuming that you’ve been made dictator of an existing society, you’re assuming a completely blank slate society that you get to build up from scratch. Real dictatorships don’t have that luxury. They have to work within existing relationships and power structures. They need the loyalty of powerful people to become dictator in the first place. They don’t just get to hand-pick whoever they want for every role.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org · 4 pts · 251d
Also no closed door meetings, no side hustles, no conflicts of interest. And regular audits just to be safe. If you want to work for the public your business is of public interest.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 251d
All those things sound like a lot of work that I don't want to do.
As a good leader (not great, but good. Top 30% at least), I will hire people. I will fire those who need to be fired. I will hire replacements.
That is it. If any of my underlings require more than a howdy doo every once in a while they are too high maintenance.
Anything that detracts from my doing nothing as much as possible will be replaced.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org · 1 pts · 251d
That's pretty close to Project 2025 yo. But I guess that's what the meme implied.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 251d
Are you arguing the Trump White House has hired people that are competent at their jobs?
spirinolas@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 251d
Yes! A Ferrari, a prostitute (male or female) and a psychologist for every citizen. Also, wine on tap in every home.
You either get the joke or you don't.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 251d
i was promised a pony and a toothbrush
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 251d
A friend of mine literally said that he'll be a great leader and should not be questioned after throwing out all sorts of silly ideas on how to improve our city. I told him he'll be worse than the current government and this is why democracy is still the best, because it does not rely on a single point of failure: which is one leader making bad decisions after bad decisions. A good autocrat is only one in a million.
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 9 pts · 252d
joyjoy@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 252d
So only please yourself
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 252d
Awesome! I've been practicing that since I was 13, and let me tell ya, I'm very good at it.
joyjoy@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 251d
Practice every day
kiara@piefed.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 251d
🌸Flowers for everyone💐🌸
87Six@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 251d
flower farmers wondering who tf will pay for the flowers in the background
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 251d
I'm voting for you now!
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 252d
I'd be assassinated VERY quickly by the rich and powerful.
bufalo1973@piefed.social · 5 pts · 252d
Not is you go first against them.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 251d
You get the secondary ability of no one thinking to assassinate you, you can only die to angry mobs.
gerryflap@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 251d
It'll be a prime example of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Can't imagine I'd be able to keep the country running well for more than a year tbh
bestelbus22@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 249d
Not even after giving dictatorship to Maarten van Rossem?
gerryflap@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 248d
I guess, but at that point it's not me making the decisions anymore
UnixSlvt42@piefed.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 252d
I'll just use my dictatorship powers to replace it with liquid democracy!
I bet you'll hate that!
germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 252d
I will simply make all the cool stuff legal and all the icky stuff illegal
Now salute me (or don’t, I’m not your mom)
Juice@midwest.social · 6 pts · 252d
Dick tater chip
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 251d
"Who's yuu? I'm Mii!"
So, we going to miniaturize every pony for every man, or not?
korendian@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 251d
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 251d
You're perfect then. Congrats, you got the job
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 252d
Actually it has always been my goal to become world dictator, so it's funny you say that :)
birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 252d
Affordable housing for everyone, queer accomodations (including transition, sport centres), federated and decentralised worker-owned co-ops being fostered, etc..
Ziglin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 251d
I would be willing to try it but honestly I'm too gullible to figure out who would actually do a good job at planning the next democratic government to succeed me.
x0x7@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 251d
I'd do fine. Honestly, you'd all be a lot better off than with the current lot.
Una@europe.pub · 3 pts · 252d
If I become dictator, everyone is getting toxoplasmosis (so everyone can become more attractive than they are)
Asidonhopo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 251d
Bazell@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 252d
Nah, it will be even worse.
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 252d
i mean, it wouldn't be a dictatorship for long tho, I'll just add a few things and give up my power.
magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 251d
On one hand not using it to limit the death penalty to billionaires and powerful politicians, to end the war on drugs, to bring ubi and universal healthcare is a loss. To give that up seems immoral.
Also to take the power seems immoral.
Not sure there's a good answer for a good person here.