Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Says He Used to Snort Cocaine Off Toilet Seats: 'I'm Not Scared of a Germ'

https://www.complex.com/life/a/backwoodsaltar/robert-f-kennedy-snort-cocaine-toilet-seats

531 points · 92 comments · view on lemmy.world

92 Comments

spongebue@lemmy.world · 113 pts · 197d

I miss the days when satire was fake

thallamabond@lemmy.world · 104 pts · 197d (5 replies)

This guy does not believe in germ theory, he believes in TERRAIN Theory. So of coarse he is not scared of germs.

According to terrain theory, germs don’t cause disease – it’s your body’s failure to maintain internal purity. If you’re healthy enough, pathogens can’t hurt you.

https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/your-terrain-your-fault-germ-theory-denial-2025/

marduk@lemmy.sdf.org · 34 pts · 197d (1 reply)

Good thing I ate all that dirt as a child, got my body terrain boosted early!

BanMe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 196d

They now recommend packing feces directly into the mucous membranes so that you have a healthy immunity to strangers shit particles when you snort coke as your childhood blossoms into adulthood. Also helps if you only consume animals, roadkill is fine, builds immunity to brainworms so your brain tissue can simply kill them off later.

CocaineShrimp@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 197d

Hey! As an aside - "of coarse" is incorrect, you're looking for "of course" :)

"Coarse" refers to the size of particulates like how big each piece of sand is. Coarse is larger bits of sand, making it rougher.

tomiant@piefed.social · 10 pts · 197d

The body has a way of shutting it down. Especially if its illegitimate rape.

ZombieMantis@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d

Modern-day Lysenkoism. They're going to kill us all, if they go on long enough.

Almacca@aussie.zone · 56 pts · 197d (3 replies)

He still does, but he used to too.

muxika@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 197d (2 replies)

Mitch Hedberg has entered the chat

Almacca@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 197d (1 reply)

Mitch Hedberg would be a better secretary of health, and he's dead.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 196d

Literally doing nothing is better than doing a whole lot of net harm.

LillyPip@lemmy.ca · 54 pts · 197d

The guy who got brain worms by eating roadkill isn’t afraid of germs?!? No way.

pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 48 pts · 196d (2 replies)

The onion can't compete with this

MehBlah@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 196d (1 reply)

They are having a hard time finding a implausible story.

ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 196d

The point of satire is that it's plausible.

dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 44 pts · 196d (10 replies)

Ive done more cocaine than the average person, sadly, and I’ve been in some wild circles. Never have I snorted cocaine from a toilet seat. The cistern sure but the seat come on bro.

ugandan_airways@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 196d (5 replies)

Exactly. The back of the toilet—sure. Very common. It’s basically a little table. Also great for smashing adderall on for snorting.

Who the fuck would snort something off a toilet seat? Why would you want to bend down that far? It makes no sense. These guys are full of shit no matter what they are talking about.

dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 196d

Exactly it’s logistically harder than just using the back.

magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 196d (3 replies)

Really? Why? Wouldn't you have a perfectly good and slightly less gross bathroom counter?

ugandan_airways@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 196d (1 reply)

You usually do this to be “discreet.” I don’t make the rules. People have been doing this forever.

magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 196d

Oh it just hit me you're talking like a public bathroom, that makes more sense.

Sorry most of my drug-doing is weed and psyches XP.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 196d

Soup@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 196d (2 replies)

I am NOT the guy to talk to about drugs but there have been toilets without their own tanks for a long time.

dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 196d (1 reply)

In that situation you use the other side of your hand or a key. Keys can have the side effect of jamming up locks though.

Soup@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 196d

Oh yea, I’m fully on board with find literally anything else haha

Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 196d

I’ve also done much than the average person in my time (maybe enthusiast-level at points?) and when I was at my most doing-it-est, I would never use a toilet seat. The only time I’ve done it in bathrooms at all was either from a bullet or key bumps from a pen cap.

It doesn’t pass my “if this drug fell on the bathroom floor at a club, would you still do it?” test. A rare few things pass that test for me.

inari@piefed.zip · 41 pts · 197d (1 reply)

This dude's on auto-pilot. The brainworm took the helm.

FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 197d

Maybe the real brainworms was the cocaine we snorted along the way

GutterRat42@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 196d (4 replies)

Why is he allowed to be in government again?

BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 196d

Fascism requires bootlickers. If you lick boots, you can’t be afraid of no germs.

DarkFuture@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 196d

Because Americans let conservatives have power, which means the circus came to town. And they brought their clowns with them.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 195d

Because MAGAs think it's hilarious when Libz get all upset about this stuff. Look how crazy they get when you put some lunatic in charge of health care. Who cares? Health Care in this country sucks anyway, he can't damage it any worse than it already is. At least we can get some laughs at the expense of the Libz, right?

It's got to be that. NOBODY could possibly believe that he would IMPROVE health care.

OrteilGenou@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 196d

His publicist is a worm that lives in his brain, it's a recipe for success

kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 197d

No shit. He literally doesn't believe in germ theory. He's a moron.

LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe · 32 pts · 197d (4 replies)

The thing about germs is that they can't smell your fear. They harm indiscriminately.

floofloof@lemmy.ca · 32 pts · 197d (2 replies)

Fascists think germs harm the weak, who should die to purify the gene pool, and not the genetically superior and strong. And fascists always think they are among the superior, strong ones. Everything this administration does makes sense if you assume fascist eugenics are behind it.

Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 197d

Y'know, i feel like if anything it would be the other way around; the wealthy who live in bubbles don't get exposed to jack shit and die from a stiff breeze

muxika@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 197d

Too bad most of them have to wear swim shirts at the beach.

marduk@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 197d

Some germs hate acid, some germs hate bleach. Blox kills indiscriminately! https://youtu.be/pJztwXaho00

tyrant@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 197d (1 reply)

Glad the dude swimming in sewage run off, doing cocaine from toilet seats, and had a parasitic brain worm is in charge of our health

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 196d

But the other person was fat and trans! /j

Fmstrat@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 196d (1 reply)

Actual question: isn't he admitting to a crime?

NickwithaC@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 196d

It's cute that you think that still matters.

dizzle18@lemmy.zip · 31 pts · 197d (7 replies)

I’m just imagining Bobby on his knees, snorting a rail off a shit smeared toilet seat, all while a perfectly clean countertop is literally right next to him. Kind of easy to imagine, considering what a fucking dumbass this guy is.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 12 pts · 197d (6 replies)

Also, whose got enough money for coke but not a small mirror, or a CD case, or a shiny book cover, or... Shit I'm telling in myself aren't I?

At least I never did it off a fucking toilet seat! Eww dude!

Bobby the type of mother fucker to not wash his hands after using the bathroom. Nasty bitch.

Kaliax@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 197d (5 replies)

Even just the screen of a phone. Super stable geniuses, the lot of 'em!

pupbiru@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 197d (1 reply)

i mean, i’ve heard phone screens are legitimately horrendous for hygiene, which i wouldn’t be surprised by (no real evidence provided by or to me)

BigPotato@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d

You press it against your face, put it face down on the table, shove it in your pocket, and then rub your fingers all over it...

Who am I kidding? Most people just rub their fingers all over it all day and also don't wash their hands. Phones can be a wonderland for germs.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 196d (2 replies)

Checking back in a day later. Who the fucking fuck down voted this‽

BanMe@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d (1 reply)

Virtually every comment I've made has 1-2 downvotes, this is just how Lemmy rolls. Doesn't really matter the content.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 196d

:'(

OrangeScentedFish@discuss.tchncs.de · 27 pts · 196d (2 replies)

When you're a sentient accumulation of germs and parasites, I'm sure a few more don't scare you

TheSeveralJourneysOfReemus@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 196d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
Magnum@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 196d

Oh lol I need to pick it up again

DigitalDidgeridoo@kbin.earth · 17 pts · 197d

I really did think this was an onion headline at first. This is a better anti-drug PSA than anything DARE did, since this guy clearly has stimulant abuse-induced brain damage.

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 197d

That's not the flex you think it is, dude

Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 197d (3 replies)

He isn't afraid of parasites either. Pretty sure putting the worm in control would be an improvement

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4877736/

Who knew this was a documentary. .

CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 197d (2 replies)

I found it really weird that that show was cancelled, by the way. I remember a lot of people speculating that it seemed very strange that something seemingly popular was cancelled so quickly.

I don't remember a whole lot, but I seem to recall it had a fair bit of bothsiderist aspect. Even so, we know what snowflakes the rightwing can be.

Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 197d (1 reply)

The term snowflake the way its used now was coined for them exclusively. The term predates the maga's but its the same people. Fake news is another term created for their types. Specifically the one for fox news which a lot of people started calling Faux News and finally just fake news. Fake news is fox news. The truth is the snowflakes hated being called snowflakes so they started calling everyone snowflakes. Same story with fake news. Its not like any of them have any originality.

CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 197d

Honestly, they do this with everything. They chafed about "political correctness" and of course ignored all of their own that they constantly try to impose on others, most especially by the force of government.

They call their movement "teabaggers" because they thought they were going to get away with something about how they were going to "teabag" other people, meaning they were going to be owning them, etc (haw haw! we are talking about dunking OUR BALLS into your mouth and you don't even know! Take that, liberals!).

The very minute Rachel Maddow and others started snickering at them, they realized that it made them look quite gay, and they tried to act like the name never existed, that the mean Democrats made it up, and so on. I used to get timeouts on certain forums because pointing out this history was too much for the fans of the "tea party", the babies would queen out every time, argue a bit with me, see they were losing and go full snowflake and run to the mods and have my posts taken down for violating "community guidelines". The mods, when not being overly bothsiderist, were in some cases known to be maga.

CaptDust@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 197d (4 replies)

Has someone accused him of being a germophobe? Was that ever in question? We already knew we swims in sewage and picks up roadkill for dinner.

Heikki2@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 197d (1 reply)

Don't shit on roadkill as an easy protein and have eaten it many times when I've hit the animal myself or witnessed it get hit. Tastes fine. The vehicle truck side is usually inedible due to the heavy bruising.

With all that being said, I've never staged a dead animal to look a certain way ever.

VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 197d

There's a massive difference between taking the deer you hit with your truck and whatever the fuck RFK was doing with bear cubs in Central Park

wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 197d

GreenBeard@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 197d

He's trying to encourage disbelief in germ theory. He'd like to encourage a return to cornflakes and Graham crackers to rebalance the humors.

Bahnd@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 197d

Sigh... We don't need your wild party stories from the 70s... Were already sifting through the mess of other officials at other problomatic parties... Oh, you did coke off a toilet seat last week?

Thats explains a lot and not the flex you think it is anymore...

socsa@piefed.social · 13 pts · 197d

Well at least he isn't a drag queen

anon_8675309@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 196d

Not the fucking flex he thinks it is.

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz · 9 pts · 197d

Deport RFK

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 196d

Stray pubes just add to the flavour.

Auli@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 195d (1 reply)

Can we hold a vile of anthrax and say here sir prove you are not scared.

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 195d

Anthrax is indeed vile, never understood why people like them so much.

altphoto@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 196d

Searching the epstein and trump papers for cocaine toilets...coming right up!

Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 195d

Strange flex for the head of a federal agency to admit to felony drug crimes.

madde@feddit.org · 5 pts · 196d (2 replies)

Every day I'm grateful not to live in the dumpster fire that is the USA...

kent_eh@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 196d

I wish I didn't have to share a border with a dumpster fire.

ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 1 pts · 196d

Dumpster fire is an understatement. It’s more like garbage dump fire.

ZombieMantis@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 196d

Of course not, he's one of them!

rumba@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 196d

And by used to, he meant this morning.

MeekerThanBeaker@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 197d (1 reply)

After all this bullshit ends, I really hope that we get a few decades of peace and prosperity. This is so very tiresome.

Professorozone@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 197d

I'm not sure nukes end with peace and prosperity.

Smaile@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 195d

You have a worm in your head you dumbshit

spacesatan@leminal.space · 3 pts · 197d

Thank god for the comic relief dipshit.

slingstone@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d

This is stupid enough, but for a moment there I thought he was going to question the germ theory of disease, which would be even worse.

NutWrench@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 195d (1 reply)

So RFK. What exactly is it that you DO at "Health and Human Services?" You know, when you're not wallowing in shit and doing drugs?

Steelie@europe.pub · 1 pts · 195d

You misspelled „Health and Human Sacrifices“.

DarkFuture@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d

Germ says he isn't scared of himself.

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 197d

Toilet seats are pretty clean, though. Compared to door knobs or light switches. Butts are gross, sure, but also pretty regularly cleaned. And I'm sure these toilet seats didn't have urine or feces visibly all over them...the dude is depraved but even the most base of party girls like RFK have a limit.

Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d

I used the same mindset when taking the vaccine.

boaratio@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 196d

Did he mean the lid or the seat? Not that it matters that this ass cancer on society isn't clear with his words, but I kinda want to know where snorted it from.

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 195d

Who really gives a flying FUCK what he is or isnt scared of

Etterra@discuss.online · 1 pts · 197d

Whatever you say, Gravel Gullet.

lennybird@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 197d

Nothing to see here from the guy going "bone hunting" with Epstein and Maxwell. Perfect normal person.