Training goals

gorillas sit around eating a vegetarian diet and have massive muscle mass just because they metabolize different kinds of protein MUCH more effectively than humans do and also are much more physically active than the average human

Fixed it for you.

I was gonna object that it's a vegan diet, because they're presumably not gonna do eggs or milk, but apparently not strictly vegetarian either:

Mountain gorillas spend about a quarter of their day eating, mainly plants. Around 85% of their diet is made up of leaves, shoots and stems, but gorillas can also eat larvae, snails, ants, and even roots, barks and rotting wood (a good source of sodium/salt).

https://www.wwf.org.uk/learn/fascinating-facts/gorillas

Bro vegan athletes win in the olympics, in strong man, in sprints, in marathons, all over the place. They have to work hard for it, sure, but there's nothing special about meat protein.

Yolked because of all the albumin

I will never be able to open that one pickle jar without the Xelayan kid laughing at me.

Knive in jar lid side, wiggle until it bubbles.

Bottle opener. Or spoon, even. Just barely lift the edge of the lid to let in a little air.

Hold it upside down and strike it with the underside of your fist. It lets air in like the knife method while looking badass.

I was looking for an egg joke. It's as egg as the nose on plain's face.

I always thought from hearing it that it meant they ate a lot of raw eggs, since that is sometimes associated with bodybuilding. I guess it means you look like an animal that would normally be yoked together to pull a plough or some such

Or that he beats his wife with a whisk.

^too^ ^far?^ ^too^ ^far.^

Hugging, look at those smiles!

I think it's just engagement bait, and it seems to be working