35 year old man, and I have not only never received flowers, I have also not once in my entire life ever considered that someone would give me flowers at any point in my life.
I had an ex who loved growing flowers. The third time she came over to my house she came with a big bouquet of flowers she had grown.
Can confirm, I did not receive them in an appropriate way.
What I discovered was that I love having flowers around the house. Not the fake ones that match seasonal tablecloths or whatever. But like actual fresh flowers in whatever variety was available at the farmer's market every few weeks. I don't match them to anything or have a favorite. I just pick up whatever looks nice. They make me smile.
Some women like the gesture. Some women like practical things. I'm a dude who actually prefers a cheap gesture showing that you thought about me rather than anything practical that might cost someone something real. Because I already get anything practical for myself and I'm super particular about consumable practical things that I need extras of.
I mostly just give stuff to my mother. If I was like rich, well, the reason I could never be rich, is as soon as I have extra money, I become rather generous, buying friends gifts, buy snacks for co-workers, etc.
I gave my husband a bouquet of sunflowers this week for passing a certification for work. Not sure what an appropriate way is, but men deserve to receive pretty things. Not sure why we decided plants should be assigned to gender.
Are we talking walking sticks, cool shaped sticks that could be swords or whatever you can imagine, a nice springy stick that can be a bow or fishing rod, something small, or something to whittle.
Depends on the season. In winter it's a vintage 1980's shirt-jacket thing that I found in my dad's storage closet: red/black plaid, soft flannel exterior, thinly insulated. My parents had matching shirts and dad's old one fits me perfectly.
Pretty soon my favorite will be a thin blue cotton-linen button-down that's perfect for hot summer days. And it goes well with my big straw shade hat.
Generally speaking, do most men even want flowers? I ask as one that couldn't care less. A card is fine or some other token of appreciation, but flowers seen pointless to me, so I wonder how alone in that I am.
Am I going to go out of my way to get some or ask for them directly? No. Is it still nice to receive an unambiguous token of someone's appreciation for you? Yes.
i gave my wife a potted plant on our first date date five years ago. she says if it dies, our love dies so i will have to secretly replace it like it was a dead goldfish LOL
I think a live flowering plant in a pot is a better gift than cut flowers, even if it's going to die. Probably the most enthusiastic response I ever got was over the gift of a cactus.
It can be better but you have to know the person has the window space and is enthusiastic about caring for it long-term. Otherwise you can be giving chores to them. The short time-span of cut flowers is a feature, not a bug.
My attitude towards flowers has always been "what the hell am I supposed to do with these? They're gonna be dead in a week." I prefer an interactive or utilitarian gift; a book, a game, or hell a really good flashlight.
I had a woodworking professor that was fond of saying "it's art, does art need a purpose?" To which my retort was "it does if it's going to take up space on my desk". I will admit that sometimes it's nice to have something whose only function is to be pretty and smell nice, even for just a little while. Both lines of thought are totally valid though!
I made a gift for a new partner this weekend — it was an origami tesselation. I use translucent paper for them, so they look really cool if you stick them on your window. It felt like a safe gift because it was functionally free, and it also doesn't take up space
I did get a little obsessed with the idea of having fresh flowers delivered weekly to put on the mantles, because it does make your space look expensively attended to. So I guess I sent myself flowers a few times. Otherwise tho I think it's an old fashioned thing that's kind of weird and just results in dead decaying things being thrown away by the lucky recipient. I do accept chocolates and BJs tho
I'd rather have, like, an expensive scotch and a lap dance. I like flowers, don't get me wrong. But (1), I would probably look at them for about 2 seconds and be like "okay, now what?" and (2) in our culture, you give flowers to women, and I would then be confused as to why you would think I would want flowers. Am I coming off as gay? I'm not gay. I don't want to be percieved as gay... but do people think I'm gay anyway?
69 Comments
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 67 pts · 167d
35 year old man, and I have not only never received flowers, I have also not once in my entire life ever considered that someone would give me flowers at any point in my life.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 167d
same, and honestly, I'm not sure I'll be able to receive them in an appropriate way.
TexasDrunk@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 166d
I had an ex who loved growing flowers. The third time she came over to my house she came with a big bouquet of flowers she had grown.
Can confirm, I did not receive them in an appropriate way.
What I discovered was that I love having flowers around the house. Not the fake ones that match seasonal tablecloths or whatever. But like actual fresh flowers in whatever variety was available at the farmer's market every few weeks. I don't match them to anything or have a favorite. I just pick up whatever looks nice. They make me smile.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 166d
I tend to buy women more practical stuff for their bdays and 8th march. I figure murdered plants are neat and all, but they are just a gesture.
TexasDrunk@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 166d
Some women like the gesture. Some women like practical things. I'm a dude who actually prefers a cheap gesture showing that you thought about me rather than anything practical that might cost someone something real. Because I already get anything practical for myself and I'm super particular about consumable practical things that I need extras of.
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 166d
Women’s Day is a gift giving holiday??
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 166d
I mostly just give stuff to my mother. If I was like rich, well, the reason I could never be rich, is as soon as I have extra money, I become rather generous, buying friends gifts, buy snacks for co-workers, etc.
angrystego@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 165d
Most of them don't get murdered in the process, the flowers are not the vital parts.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 166d
I like houseplants. They have a similar sentimental impact as flowers, but last much longer
ChexMax@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 166d
I gave my husband a bouquet of sunflowers this week for passing a certification for work. Not sure what an appropriate way is, but men deserve to receive pretty things. Not sure why we decided plants should be assigned to gender.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 166d
I'm sure he appreciated it, you are a good wife
Dave@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 166d
I have been sent flowers when other people died, does that count?
Anosyn@feddit.org · 59 pts · 167d
I literally thought she was calling in his funeral for a solid 2 minutes before realising the more obvious, happy story here :)
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 166d
It can never be something nice, huh?
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 166d
I assumed this a death threat at first.
Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 166d
Yeah
aeiou@piefed.social · 42 pts · 167d
I have given this some thought. Consider:
Thus I conclude the ideal floral gift for a man is a potted tree
RustySharp@programming.dev · 15 pts · 166d
You know what? A stick arrangement would actually be cool. And not having to regularly change the water is an added bonus.
Pman@lemmy.org · 5 pts · 166d
Are we talking walking sticks, cool shaped sticks that could be swords or whatever you can imagine, a nice springy stick that can be a bow or fishing rod, something small, or something to whittle.
RustySharp@programming.dev · 5 pts · 166d
Yes
Stern@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 166d
Wreaths are pretty neat.
Rooster326@programming.dev · 11 pts · 167d
Got a tree one time. It was cool af
Would 10/10 recommend
Felt like planting the new Deku tree
angrystego@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 165d
A tree is good, but nowhere near as good as a stick.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 36 pts · 167d
The gesture is nice. The gift itself is impractical/useless and I don't really like the smell of most flowers. 😔
Give me the next best thing: Yummy fruit basket.
pennomi@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 167d
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 167d
"This can make so much fucking herbal tea."
kersploosh@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 167d
Bring a decent bar of dark chocolate and compliment my shirt and I'm yours.
Cethin@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 166d
I don't know what kind of dark chocolate compliments shirt, but there's probably an expert who can help.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 166d
You sound like someone who has nice shirts. Which is your favourite?
kersploosh@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 165d
Depends on the season. In winter it's a vintage 1980's shirt-jacket thing that I found in my dad's storage closet: red/black plaid, soft flannel exterior, thinly insulated. My parents had matching shirts and dad's old one fits me perfectly.
Pretty soon my favorite will be a thin blue cotton-linen button-down that's perfect for hot summer days. And it goes well with my big straw shade hat.
Thanks for asking. 😁
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 166d
I have received one of those fruit arrangements that looks like flowers. Does that count?
IEatDaFeesh@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 166d
I prefer a sturdy lightsaber
PugJesus@piefed.social · 10 pts · 166d
No match for a good blaster by your side!
Nednarb44@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 166d
Generally speaking, do most men even want flowers? I ask as one that couldn't care less. A card is fine or some other token of appreciation, but flowers seen pointless to me, so I wonder how alone in that I am.
Two2Tango@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 166d
My boyfriend would be happy if I picked the head off a clover on the way to his house and handed it to him in the doorway
Rakonat@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 166d
Am I going to go out of my way to get some or ask for them directly? No. Is it still nice to receive an unambiguous token of someone's appreciation for you? Yes.
YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf · 8 pts · 166d
Id rather have a plant gifted than cut flowers. Hell give me a potato. Potatoes give me more potatoes plant!
angrystego@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 165d
Cut roses can often be successfully plated.
islandcoda42@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 166d
If it came in a way I could plant again, I’d be psyched. Cut flowers wouldn’t do much for me, though :) Happy Easter! 🐣
Nednarb44@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 166d
Same I guess. I was gifted a butterfly weed specifically to plant, and that was really cool actually. I don't want cut flowers for the aesthetics lol
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 165d
Yes, the dismembered sexual organs of artificially grown plants kept in preservative solution's symbolism is lost on me.
Now give me a bag of seed OTOH...
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 166d
flowers that have been bought? no
flowers that you grew? yes
LouNeko@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 166d
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 166d
I prefer a book or something that lasts. But I would not say no to flowers
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 165d
i gave my wife a potted plant on our first date date five years ago. she says if it dies, our love dies so i will have to secretly replace it like it was a dead goldfish LOL
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 165d
Ah so I made a a better choice by vetting her some of those lego flowers then?
cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 165d
as long as they made her happy, it was perfect! gonna do that one with mine as well :)
notabot@piefed.social · 18 pts · 167d
Flowers are a nice thought, but I'd rather receive the whole plant than just the severed and dieing reproductive parts.
Mind you, when hay fever season is in full swing, I'd rather just receive a xard, thanks! achoo
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 167d
sorry, you only get an assortment of mutilated plant genitals to enjoy for a couple days before they rot. enjoy
snoons@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 167d
fuck man now i want flowers D:
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 167d
💐
I think a live flowering plant in a pot is a better gift than cut flowers, even if it's going to die. Probably the most enthusiastic response I ever got was over the gift of a cactus.
snoons@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 167d
i would worry for the cactus if i gave it to some people i know :(
angrystego@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 165d
It can be better but you have to know the person has the window space and is enthusiastic about caring for it long-term. Otherwise you can be giving chores to them. The short time-span of cut flowers is a feature, not a bug.
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 166d
🌷🌼🌹🌱🪻🌼🌷🌱🏵️🌼🪻
snoons@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 166d
٩(♡ε♡ )۶
Etterra@discuss.online · 12 pts · 167d
My attitude towards flowers has always been "what the hell am I supposed to do with these? They're gonna be dead in a week." I prefer an interactive or utilitarian gift; a book, a game, or hell a really good flashlight.
AliasVortex@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 166d
I had a woodworking professor that was fond of saying "it's art, does art need a purpose?" To which my retort was "it does if it's going to take up space on my desk". I will admit that sometimes it's nice to have something whose only function is to be pretty and smell nice, even for just a little while. Both lines of thought are totally valid though!
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 166d
I made a gift for a new partner this weekend — it was an origami tesselation. I use translucent paper for them, so they look really cool if you stick them on your window. It felt like a safe gift because it was functionally free, and it also doesn't take up space
Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 166d
The nice side effect of giving my wife flowers....I get to have them in my house too.
MoonRaven@feddit.nl · 7 pts · 165d
Surprise! I'm gonna kill you now! <3
PugJesus@piefed.social · 1 pts · 165d
I count this as an absolute win
BanMe@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 167d
I did get a little obsessed with the idea of having fresh flowers delivered weekly to put on the mantles, because it does make your space look expensively attended to. So I guess I sent myself flowers a few times. Otherwise tho I think it's an old fashioned thing that's kind of weird and just results in dead decaying things being thrown away by the lucky recipient. I do accept chocolates and BJs tho
Yeller_king@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 166d
I got some when my dad died, so go me for beating the average.
curiousaur@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 167d
My mommy gave me flowers at my graduation.
MalReynolds@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 167d
Most likely a hospital stay second, or depending how you see it, higher class restaurants and hotels.
BradleyUffner@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 166d
I have cats that like to chew on things.
Nearly every plant is toxic to cats.
Flowers would not be an appropriate gift.
angrystego@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 165d
Roses are ok, sunflowers and gerberas are of.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 166d
They are not equivalent in value
Viper_NZ@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 165d
Do condolence flowers count?
blarghly@lemmy.world · -14 pts · 167d
I'm a guy.
Please don't get me flowers.
I'd rather have, like, an expensive scotch and a lap dance. I like flowers, don't get me wrong. But (1), I would probably look at them for about 2 seconds and be like "okay, now what?" and (2) in our culture, you give flowers to women, and I would then be confused as to why you would think I would want flowers. Am I coming off as gay? I'm not gay. I don't want to be percieved as gay... but do people think I'm gay anyway?
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 166d
Ooh yeah that does sound a little gay.