WTF is this???

1.2k points · 96 comments · view on lemmy.world

96 Comments

gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 88 pts · 118d (9 replies)

BMW: Why do my turn signals hurt?

Morpheus: You’ve never used them.

Too lazy to make the actual meme tonight. Someone else do it for me.

0ops@piefed.zip · 15 pts · 118d (7 replies)

Lol this is good, I also request a copy

TachyonTele@piefed.social · 18 pts · 118d (5 replies)

I want a copy too, but I'd feel bad forcing OP to make three of them

0ops@piefed.zip · 13 pts · 118d (3 replies)

Stupid economy

TachyonTele@piefed.social · 9 pts · 118d

No lie i was going to say "in this economy" at the end lol nice

W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Sometimes someone can afford something in the meme economy.

One for you

TachyonTele@piefed.social · 4 pts · 117d

My man

W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 117d

And one for you

W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 117d

And one for you

W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 117d

I gotchu

baller_w@lemmy.zip · 59 pts · 118d (4 replies)

Best “car guy” trope I’ve ever heard is that BMW signals work fine and the drivers use them. They just emit a spectrum of light that the poors can’t see.

As a BMW driver myself, I’m on the opposite end of that spectrum. I signal my intent to an obnoxious degree. If I get into an accident, the other motorist can’t claim they didn’t know where I was going.

Obi@sopuli.xyz · 19 pts · 118d

Well if it's their word against yours, since you're driving a beemer they'll automatically believe them when you claim you were signalling.

square@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 117d (2 replies)

You have to oversignal in modern BMWs or the wheel vibrates and tries to correct the other direction. Forced merges, lane splitting, any deviation from straight down the middle even when it's obvious that you have to do that thing, the car bitches at you if you don't signal.

AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social · 6 pts · 117d

The first thing they teach you in bmw driving school is how to deactivate all that shit so you can still be an asshole on the road

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 5 pts · 117d

They know their drivers.

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 41 pts · 118d (5 replies)

Oh shit, your house blew over onto its side. You should probably get that fixed.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 10 pts · 118d (4 replies)

They drive a BMW they wouldn’t live in a house that small.

redsand@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 118d

That's 20+ year old old BMW. It probably is the owner's house

jimmux@programming.dev · 5 pts · 118d

It's just an investment property. They can ignore it.

FluidBeef@quokk.au · 2 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Hire Purchase car that costs more than the house it’s parked outside is very much a thing.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 1 pts · 117d

It's three quarters of an inch tall no one could live in there.

Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz · 25 pts · 117d (3 replies)

Turn it off! Every blinker has a limited number of blinks, and do you know how much a BMW dealer will charge to refill it?

Hupf@feddit.org · 15 pts · 117d (1 reply)

some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 117d

"organic synthetic" is a nice touch. Reminds me of seeing "organic" salt somewhere

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d

its $250 for a chevy

krisevol@lemmus.org · 25 pts · 118d

It's pointing at the speed you should be going. Stop impeding traffic.

ThomasWilliams@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 118d

Just ignore it man. Mines been doing that for months.

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 118d (1 reply)

This is Tesla's now. Fuckin Nazi's hate turn signals.

vinyl@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d

or any pick up truck driver

CannedYeet@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 118d (1 reply)

My car has "BMW style" turn signals. When you flip them they don't move to a different position. They always just flick back. And they try to just always reset themselves on both turns and lane changes. I've mostly gotten used to them but occasionally you get into this infuriating loop where if you change your mind about a turn or lane change and you go to flick it in the opposite direction to reset it, it thinks you want to turn in that direction. And then you do it again in the original direction trying to fix that.

Anyway it's hella annoying. After three model years with this feature they reverted it back to the normal way. There's an aftermarket wiring harness you can buy to retrofit your car with the older stalks.

My point is I have a little sympathy for BMW drivers since they have these stupid turn signals and it's probably so entrenched in their loyal customers they can't change it.

NSAbot@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 118d

On my old 2006, you can nudge the signal arm part way (like where you would hold it to signal if you want it to go off after you release it) also by going to that position in the direction you’re already signaling. You don’t have to go past the bump and you can do it in either direction.

BilboBargains@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 117d (3 replies)

BMW used to be king arsehole of UK roads, back in the 1990s. This mantle was usurped by Audi in the new millennium but not everywhere it seems.

INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 117d

It's OK this meme is from the 1990s

zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 117d

In the US I'd say its a pretty tight race still. I quite literally laugh every time I see a BMW turn or change lanes without signaling. Which makes the average drive quite funny.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 117d

Now it's tesla

diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 117d

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 118d (5 replies)

I own a 2025 BMW and the fucking thing's lane assist will actively and agressive fight me if I try to switch lanes without putting on my signal lights. I am not your typical BMW driver, so of course now I make it a habit to use my signals, not just to turn or exit, but also to switch lanes.

My boomer energy cousin just deactivated the feature in his car.

Holytimes@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 118d (1 reply)

"not your typical bmw driver" >has to fight the lane keep assist because they refuse to use turn signal.

Dear fucking man... Self report harder.

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 117d

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 117d (1 reply)

the fucking thing’s lane assist will actively and agressive fight me if I try to switch lanes without putting on my signal lights

That sounds like fun when you're trying to avoid a collision.

square@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 117d

It's not that strong, vibration and a little force in the other direction that is easily overcome, especially when you're turning hard to move quickly.

FishFace@piefed.social · 2 pts · 117d

I didn't signal to change lanes until BMW made a car even more obnoxious than I am

Weird flex, but OK

1984@lemmy.today · 11 pts · 117d (12 replies)

To me this joke should be about Teslas, not BMW...

Just based on what im seeing when driving. I was starting to think that Tesla made that function very difficult to use or something.

Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 117d (5 replies)

Newer Teslas have the turn signals as buttons on the steering wheel

(As well as an official $500 "retrofit" traditional stalk and steering wheel)

1984@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 117d (3 replies)

That seems super annoying to use actually. It all makes sense now.

Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 117d (2 replies)

You have to take your eyes off the road to figure out if Top or Bottom is Left or Right until you got used to that asinine design.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Yeah, and to people used to reading left to right and top to bottom, it would arguably be MUCH more intuitive for Left to be first/on top..

I'm thinking this might be one of the few design choices where Musk actually DID have some input.

ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 117d

Ion Mask has Dissociative Identity Disorder????? that's insane

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d

They don't even have some kind of raised tactile button. It looks like a shitty toy button.

ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 117d (4 replies)

I've read someone complain that on the models where it's on capacitive buttons, the wheel is supposed to vibrate to confirm but it's not always possible to feel it in motion. So yes, you are correct.

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 117d (2 replies)

I'm sorry, capacitive buttons for a turn signal‽

ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Yes. They are selling the stalks (but one can only purchase it via the app because of fucking course) for the models in question.

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d

Well that shouldn't be legal. I swear, Nader could write a sequel to his famous book these days.

1984@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 117d

Aha, interesting. Yeah I figured there must be a reason. :)

UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 117d

Teslas likes hypermiling in the left lane or left lane camping.

radiofreebc@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 118d
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TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 117d

Yes, this is very dangerous. With BMW, Mercedes and Audi, leaving this light on for more than 3 ticks will cause an explosion. That's why you never see these brands using their turn signal.

kalpol@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 118d

I miss old BMWs. They're just like the Coach purse of cars now

webghost0101@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 118d

That one is only relevant to other drivers that aren’t you so don’t worry about it.

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 117d (1 reply)

"What is that useless pedal to the left of the accelerator for?"

InputZero@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 117d

That's the break check peddle. You press it really hard on the highway to make sure that the person behind you has good breaks.

Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 118d

Just turn right, it'll go away.

raynethackery@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 117d

Looks suspicious. You should immediately pull off on the right shoulder.

Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 118d

The peasants don’t need to know where I am going.

Mwa@thelemmy.club · 6 pts · 117d (2 replies)

its a alternative check engine light.

imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Can't be. Just got car back from repair shop.

Mwa@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 117d

maybe your car is getting too hot

smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 118d

Tide directional sensor. It's just showing where the moon is, you can ignore it.

islandcoda42@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 117d

Check your blinker fluid 🧐

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 5 pts · 118d (1 reply)

Does it stay on, or is it blinking?

over_clox@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 118d

You have to pay a monthly subscription for blinkers..

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 117d

Typical bmw driver, checks out

Tiral@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 117d

Bro you're loaded, isn't that a monthly subscription like heated seats?

JATtho@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 117d

I once asked a friend to what common technical fault (motor, bearings etc.) bmw cars usually start breaking. "Usually, BMWs are rolled around lightposts in the winter, so they never really break." Was his answer. I'm still gobsmacked of his honesty. xD

DupaCycki@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 118d

Green means good. Do you stop at green lights or red lights?

over_clox@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 118d

That's the swipe left signal, obviously...

https://lemmy.world/post/46629079

Wilco@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 118d

Is that the blinker fluid warning light?

EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 117d

There are also regional variations of many other vehicles that have this same useless indicator.

fubarx@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 117d (2 replies)

When using the turn signal handle, "Down is left, Up is right."

This picture is obviously indicating the car is down.

Randelung@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Do people really have to remember like that? The handle moves the same directions as the wheel does.

Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 117d

Yeah lots of folks don't realize when their car is up or down.

Hisse@programming.dev · 2 pts · 117d

green means go

Bluewing@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d

The only way to fix it is to lift the radiator cap and drive a new one under it.

nexguy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 117d

Your no-blinker fluid is low. Though botox requires a prescription so it's not super easy to fix.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 117d

This is what happens when NYC votes Mamdani.

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 117d

dear lord have we really lost that much already?

Vespair@lemmy.zip · -5 pts · 117d (6 replies)

Yes, every driver on the road who isn't me is an idiot with questionable choices who doesn't know how to drive, so the meme goes

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 117d (3 replies)

It's about the common trope of BMW drivers not using their turn signal. Here's another such meme:

Vespair@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 117d (2 replies)

Yes, I'm saying it's a tired pop culture meme people regurgitate meaninglessly without even having relevant experience, same as all X drivers in X state/car/town are all the same. It's empty air.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 117d (1 reply)

Vespair@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 117d

Y'all are free to post this shit, I'm just gonna keep calling you lame for it

But go ahead and share the next hilarious meme about pineapple on pizza

vinyl@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 117d (1 reply)

what?

Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 117d

Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

restingOface@quokk.au · -8 pts · 118d (3 replies)

Boomer humor

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 118d (1 reply)

BMW drivers objectively suck. It's timeless, and crosses generations.

restingOface@quokk.au · 9 pts · 118d

Beamer heamer

1984@lemmy.today · 0 pts · 117d

Gen z comment.