A hemipenis (pl.: hemipenes) is one of a pair of intromittent organs of male squamates (snakes and lizards).[1][2][3] Hemipenes are usually held inverted within the body, and are everted for reproduction via erectile tissue.
And if he does ... why? What does he do with it? As the single existence in the universe before genesis. Its a sexual organ. Who/what does he have sex with? Does god masturbate all day?
Very close, she was a caananite goddess, which is where Israel/Palestine would be today. She was the consort of Yahweh historically, but very infrequently mentioned in the Tanakh. There are a lot of theories about her being edited out when judaism became a monotheistic religion. Not a lot of that supported in history, which obviously would happen if she was edited out and many of the previous copies were destroyed. Either way, fun conspiracy theory.
Image search "Yahweh and his Asherah". Back when he was chill, Him and his best bud barely had a complete outfit between them. (Then his gf/sis ran off with his buddy, and the rest is human history /jk.)
55 Comments
arctanthrope@lemmy.world · 133 pts · 98d
the biggest human penis on earth. maybe the Serpent was packing
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 72 pts · 97d
The Serpent actually was Adams penis and I have no idea where I’m going with this.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 97d
Neither did the drug addict who wrote Genesis
sundray@lemmus.org · 11 pts · 97d
Hey now!
There were at least three drug addicts!
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 97d
And they couldn't dance.
sundray@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 97d
But man, the way they walk!
Janx@piefed.social · 4 pts · 97d
Hank...?
ragingHungryPanda@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com · 14 pts · 97d
The serpent did in fact tempt them with the idea of things they'd never experienced before
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 97d
And led to the curse of painful childbirth.
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 97d
But does the serpent eat you out, Eve?
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 22 pts · 98d
Trouser snake?
MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 98d
Fumbles... it was always Fumbles.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 9 pts · 98d
And, at least biblically speaking, there would have been horses somewhere around at the time.
SavinDWhales@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 97d
Were there sheep as well?
"No. I said Adam and Eve, not Adam and Ewe!"
bunkyprewster@startrek.website · 8 pts · 97d
Hadn't ever really thought about a snake's penis, until today.
MML@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 97d
*Penises.
A hemipenis (pl.: hemipenes) is one of a pair of intromittent organs of male squamates (snakes and lizards).[1][2][3] Hemipenes are usually held inverted within the body, and are everted for reproduction via erectile tissue.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemipenis
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 97d
And its partner the hemiclitoris...
CannedYeet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 97d
I coulda had a hemi
NannerBanner@literature.cafe · 4 pts · 97d
That's because it's not a penis...
ceenote@lemmy.world · 73 pts · 98d
"If Man is made in God's image, does that mean God has a functioning penis?" is a fun question to ask biblical literalists.
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 98d
And a bellybutton
Which implies that god was birthed
So, by whom?
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 97d
A big fat giant turtle, man.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 97d
Careful of those elephants, though. They have a temper
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 16 pts · 97d
Can God create a penis so heavy he can’t lift it?
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 97d
How do you think I got this hawg?
imadethis@fedinsfw.app · 3 pts · 97d
There's a much better question to be asked about such a particular organ. :D
And the answer, for me (for humans), is no.
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 97d
Great, now im thinking about god's hot juicy cock again
hydrogen@feddit.org · 5 pts · 97d
„again“? 😂
ytg@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 97d
According to the theology of some Christian denominations (I can't remember which, exactly), the answer is yes.
groet@feddit.org · 5 pts · 97d
And if he does ... why? What does he do with it? As the single existence in the universe before genesis. Its a sexual organ. Who/what does he have sex with? Does god masturbate all day?
lauha@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 97d
As a God's image, I know that he masturbates all day every day.
hansolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 97d
Was that not what manna was in the Old Testament? Drops of "Oh Yeahway"?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 97d
God, can't we PLEASE eat something else for once!?
"lol no look out here cums more"
Saprophyte@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 97d
He has sex with Asherah. They crested other gods together.
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 97d
Sound Old Testamenty?
Saprophyte@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 97d
Very close, she was a caananite goddess, which is where Israel/Palestine would be today. She was the consort of Yahweh historically, but very infrequently mentioned in the Tanakh. There are a lot of theories about her being edited out when judaism became a monotheistic religion. Not a lot of that supported in history, which obviously would happen if she was edited out and many of the previous copies were destroyed. Either way, fun conspiracy theory.
https://brewminate.com/asherah-ancient-canaanite-mother-goddess-consort-to-yahweh/
hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 97d
He just uses his alt-account Zeus and
Kwiila@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 98d
Image search "Yahweh and his Asherah". Back when he was chill, Him and his best bud barely had a complete outfit between them. (Then his gf/sis ran off with his buddy, and the rest is human history /jk.)
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 41 pts · 98d
Well, also the smallest.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 97d
And perfectly average! (At least that's what she told him)
devolution@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 98d
Caine: well...
Lilith: Im stuck in a cave stepson.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 97d
And don't forget it was handcrafted by God to perfection.
thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 97d
Eve invented wood working out of frustration.
pyrflie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 97d
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 97d
There were no male horses or elephants?
hansolo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 96d
Blue whales?
Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 97d
Nope
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 97d
"I'm literally made out of one of your bones! And you STILL can't find it?"
elbiter@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 97d
It's also the tightest pussy...
pewpew@feddit.it · 3 pts · 97d
*human penis
Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 97d
Only ones that matter
orlyowl@piefed.ca · 1 pts · 97d
But I'm a grower not a shower!
Brekky@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 96d
Also the smallest....
Jinni@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 96d
Damn, no wonder the snake had such an easy time tempting her.
robocall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 97d
But does he eat you out, Eve?
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 97d
Yes and I'm hungry. Fetch me a sandwich