Before I had septum surgery and I'd get constant congestion I thought that jerking off actually helped me to breath better. Honestly I actually thought it was placebo, nut apparently not!

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 73 pts · 66d (9 replies)

Single best typo ever

owsei@programming.dev · 24 pts · 66d

lmao I won't edit it

davidagain@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 66d (7 replies)

Hey! I remember you from a former life on reddit or lemmy or stackoverflow or something, and always thought of you as a decent person. Good to see you on lemmy.

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 8 pts · 66d (6 replies)

Either Lemmy or reddit. I think we've talked here a few times. How've you been?

davidagain@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 65d (5 replies)

All good, new job, nice colleagues, supportive boss, fun car. You?

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 65d (4 replies)

That's awesome! I'm glad you're doing well! 😊

davidagain@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 65d (3 replies)

Hope you have a happier and better year than ever before.

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 65d

I appreciate that a lot! Right now is more just about coping, to be honest, but I'll get to equilibrium eventually haha

baronvonj@piefed.social · 53 pts · 66d (3 replies)

It's amazing how well your body can turn off pains and symptoms just because "might be mating!"

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 66d (2 replies)

Have to look presentable! Be on top form!

Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 66d (1 reply)

Or bottom, we don't judge here. Y'all do you

Holytimes@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 63d

But... I'm into being judged... ):

kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 27 pts · 65d (3 replies)

There's this old Finnish saying: "Nuha lähtee nussimalla" which translates roughly to "Fucking gets rid of flu". Guess there's some truth to that, then.

stoicmaverick@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 65d (1 reply)

Is that to be understood verbatim, or is it a euphemism for something?

kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 65d

It's to be understood verbatim AFAIK :D

Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 64d

Orgasm via zebra stampede was not tested in the study, therefore it cannot be asserted that this method has the same result.

slickgoat@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 65d (2 replies)

Why not write orgasm relieves sinus congestion? Do we need to codify how orgasm arrives? What about a stampede of angry zebras? That usually does the trick for me

Patnou@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 65d

If a stampede of zebra's gets you off more power to you.

stoicmaverick@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 65d

Because it doesn't work on Furries.

cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 22 pts · 66d (6 replies)

i can get my vibrator covered by insurance to cure migraines.

CluckN@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 66d (1 reply)

I tried to get insurance to cover my Chuck’s Suck ‘n Fuck 9000 but they blocked my number.

datavoid@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 65d

Formerly Sneeds

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 66d (3 replies)

didn't they used to call it "mania" back in the 17th century?

baronvonj@piefed.social · 11 pts · 66d (2 replies)

hysteria, I believe

Instigate@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 65d

That’s why, to this day, removal of a woman’s uterus is still called a ‘hysterectomy’. As in, removal of what causes hysteria.

The Greek word ‘hystera’ means womb, or uterus, so ‘hysteria’ is literally just ‘uterus syndrome’. To take a broader brush, it kind of means ‘woman syndrome’.

Surprises me we still use this naming convention in English, given the obvious modern connotations.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 65d

oh yeah! that's what it was.

stop being hysterical you damnable woman!

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 66d

You should find a place where nobody can see you first, though. Don't ask me how I know

victorz@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 66d

My gosh. Imagine how fucking congested I would be.

ProdigiousInsanity@lemmus.org · 18 pts · 65d

Reminds me of my ex that would regularly need me to assist her with her stuffy nose as she had already discovered this effect. Do I ever miss that dusty apartment.

Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 65d

Wank your way to wellness.

sqauffle@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 66d (3 replies)

Yeah they say an orgasm is like eight sneezes

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 66d

Sometimes one good sneeze is better than an orgasm.

True for farts, too, but rarer.

hark@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 65d (1 reply)

But I feel so bad after a sneezing fit from allergies.

sqauffle@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 65d

That tracks I feel bad when the PNC hits

Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 66d (2 replies)

So other forms of orgasm offer no such relief?

Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 66d

Are there other forms of orgasm? Apart from spontaneous orgasms

Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 65d

Wet dreams? Though when I'm sick, congestion seems to disappear when I sleep (only to return after I wake up.) So if that's normal and if wet dreams have some kind of decongestant property, we may never know.

Katana314@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 66d (2 replies)

(He walks in, wearing an un-flattering speedo)
"Hey, babe. You ready for a good time?"
"Oh. God. Honey...please, not now, I have a splitting headache. I've had this stuffed up nose and it feels like I haven't been getting enough air all day."
"I have good news for you, and great news for me."

Patnou@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 66d (1 reply)

I can get rid of it in 30 seconds ;)

davidagain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 65d

That is a bold claim.

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 65d (1 reply)

Gives a whole new meaning to "unclogging those pipes"

Patnou@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 65d

Hell really makes you see porno a different way when the "handyman" come a knockin.

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 9 pts · 65d (1 reply)

Too bad it doesn't work to stop my partner from snoring

stoicmaverick@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 65d

I find that, if I just get up and jerk off in the basement, I can't hear it for a while.

atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 66d (10 replies)

Hold up… is there a way to orgasm that doesn’t require sex or masturbation in some form?

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 66d (1 reply)

People on the internet have lead me to believe that you can meditate yourself into a hands free orgasm but i personally can't be bothered to find out if that's real. Who knows, maybe it wouldn't even work for me.

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 65d

I can't, but I've had partners who can.

lolguy

cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 66d (3 replies)

listening to vast's self titled album usually works.

bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 66d

Wtf?? Random vast callout?? He's so damn good!!

Presently42@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 66d (1 reply)

Unexpected! That's a phenomenal album: untitled is one of my fave song. You have good taste

cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 65d

saw him with linkin park, disturbed, and orgy at lupos in 2000; he was the best of all of them

HowdyLemmy@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 66d

I think the intention is that either method works.

Patnou@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 66d (2 replies)

Think your a little bit to young for me to tell you. Though ask your Proctologist

atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 66d (1 reply)

That would still be masturbation?

Zorque@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 66d

Not if you do it right 😏

ElReatonVaquer0@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 66d (2 replies)

-Johnson, if you are sick you shouldn't have come into work!

-No problem Boss! Gimme two minutes to grease the lightning and I'll be ready for that sales call!

Patnou@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 66d (1 reply)

LMFAO I can actually seeing this happen in an office with cubicles and such.

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 65d

I think it's better etiquette to do it in the bathroom

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 66d

I thought everybody knew this...

though it has a 50% chance of increasing your sinus pressure and make it feel like the only way to release the pressure is by scooping your brains out of your eye socket with a spoon.

olafurp@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 65d

Had a sinus congestion, rubbed one out, gone. Shit works.

darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 6 pts · 66d (4 replies)

There was also that study that said people live longer when they nut.

Janx@piefed.social · 5 pts · 65d (3 replies)

Not if you're driving when you do it.

darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 4 pts · 65d (1 reply)

Bipauler@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 65d

Just like taking a cell phone call, you're supposed to pull over on the side of the road!

jrTug_2T@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 64d

My power inverter would beg to differ.

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 66d

Oh hello Mr Police Officer, I know this is a bus but I was really congested.

smh@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 65d

LPT: using a small vibrator on your sinuses can also help. It loosens the mucus up like shaking ketchup in a bottle.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 66d (3 replies)

Tmi, but as I've gotten older, I do it more for the neck/back/leg/arm cracks and pops it can enable. Such relief. But my body is probably just broken.

Bipauler@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 65d (2 replies)

Not sure if you've got one, but I do believe I've heard it's supposed to be healthier for the prostate to occasionally empty that thing. Another part of the body that seems to break down as one ages. Don't judge me, It's for my health!

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 64d (1 reply)

I'm pretty sure I have at least one! It's been awhile since my ex went looking, but I assume it's still there.

Bipauler@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 64d

;p at least one?! God the one i have has given me enough problems. I can only imagine having more than one Jesus that's got to be awful.. fun? At least as a young person maybe lol. I can only imagine it being like two times or more rough trying to pee :'(

BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 66d

A little allergy season tip!

Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 66d

Bullshit. If this was true, I'd have the clearest sinuses in the world.

LovableSidekick@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 66d

I might not be an expert on anatomy but something tells me you're doing it wrong.

RBWells@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 65d (1 reply)

Orgasm can help a migraine too, or occasionally cause one. In unscientific terms I think of it as all the blood going to the other end of my body. Sinus drugs and migraine rescue drugs are vasoconstrictors, so it makes sense.

Sex can also be a release of stress though, and sadly, relaxing after stress is a migraine trigger.

Patnou@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 65d

That's why they call it hate fucking.

resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe · 1 pts · 65d

I must be doing it wrong.