Back in the early 90's I managed a Radio Shack and had an employee that could get away with murder talking to customers.
One day he was at the counter showing one of our regular customers programmable police scanners. One thing about this regular customer was he was dumb as a brick. He often brought back items because he flat out could not figure out how to use them. My employee was DETERMINED to sell this guy a programmable scanner, not the easiest bit of kit to use, and not have him return it. On the 4th time trying to show the guy how to program it my employee looked the customer straight in the face and said this gem:
"Don't worry, you just have to be smarter than the product."
Fortunately, he was the only customer in the store. I was standing at the other end of the counter working on a display when I heard that. I had to run to the back room before exploding with laughter.
The customer never caught on. He even walked out with one of the most expensive scanners and he never returned it.
I didn't mock someone's death. I simply said how wonderful it is when people get to live in the world they strive for. Someone who works to make the air cleaner living free from pollution. Someone who campaigns for food security never going hungry. Someone who fights tooth and nail to block any attempt to prevent children having their heads blown apart by a lunatic wielding an automatic rifle in school getting their head blown apart by a lunatic wielding an automatic rifle in a school. Someone who volunteers at a dog rescue for years getting to live on one of those dog rescue ranches. And so on.
Clutch them pearls harder. The reactionaries have been celebrating the death of LGBT+ folks for decades, were cheering at the assassination of Minnesota law makers, and other much more reprehensible things than us saying a bad guy got what he deserved and worked for.
Stop with the notion that a dead person is suddenly sacred, they're not.
My boss (who is horrible) gave out little encouragement cards to everyone. I'm one of two especially vocal people in my department. We both got cards that say "You never cease to amaze me." 🤣🤣🤣 I keep it on my desk as a badge of honor.
I was about to fire a guy that saw the writing on the wall and retired early. Everyone loved him, but he was terrible and just getting worse every day.
"You're unforgettable!"
"You've made an indelible mark on us all, and this place!"
"Your replacement will have an incredible job ahead of them!"
They may feel they way about me. I got in trouble today for sending an email telling them what they need to buy for a classroom. "How dare you tell us what we need!! What do we need? Where do we get that?"
Its from Something About Mary. Like the first scene between Stiller and the actor who plays the butler with the fucked up hand in one of the original Scary Movies.
Edit: Chris Elliot is the actor who says the line to Stiller.
I once told someone, very publicly, something along the lines of "I hope other people treat you the way you just treated me." I don't know if the recipient got it, but the other people who were lined up to interact with her sure did (USPS office).
The original is more subtle: "I hope your day is as pleasant as you are," since it subtly implies the negative without outright stating it.
To go even more subtle, you can simply say "I hope you have the day you deserve." The brilliance of this one is, no one thinks they're the villain, so the person will think you're wishing them a good day. It depends on what they think of you (or what they think of what you think of them). If you're generally a well-natured sort who sees the good in people, they will probably take it as a compliment. But if you're more of a realist and you tend to treat people as they deserve, they might be second-guessing it.
David Cross, of Mr Show (and a lot of other stuff), talked about how the frontman of Creed was gonna play celebrity poker with him. He'd trashed that guy a lot. Dude shows up: "Thanks for the words."
Cross: "Yeah, well."
He said he was particularly glad about that. It rocks.
48 Comments
greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net · 61 pts · 45d
It's impressive how you just say things out loud without a care about how it makes you look.
Yes, they took it as a compliment.
Dookieman12@piefed.social · 56 pts · 45d
You've got nothing but potential
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 45d
When I’m high
DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 48 pts · 45d
"That's certainly a unique perspective."
historicaldocuments@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 45d
"Nobody's ever tried solving the problem that way before."
Also some paraphrased "what was it about that didn't meet your needs?"
Drusas@fedia.io · 8 pts · 45d
"That's one way of looking at it" is a statement I have to make with unfortunate frequency.
MagicShel@lemmy.zip · 44 pts · 45d
They have but two brain cells struggling for third place.
Deebster@infosec.pub · 29 pts · 45d
It's great, but not very subtle
LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 45d
Guess that makes it a pretty bad subtle insult
richieadler@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 45d
I guarantee that there are legions of people for whom this is exceedingly subtle.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 45d
That's downright Shakesperean!
MagicShel@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 45d
I removed it because I didn't think it qualified as subtle, but I rather like it.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 45d
Oh no, it's subtlety lies in the sentence construction - it's how someone like Jefferson or Jane Austen would've written it.
Today@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 45d
I'm in Texas and here's it's - Bless your heart.
jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 45d
A phrase that, depending on the context, can mean either:
"I am so sorry you're having to deal with ."
or"You dumb bitch."
Curious_Canid@piefed.ca · 30 pts · 45d
You have much to be humble about.
groet@feddit.org · 1 pts · 44d
But don't you have to be good at something to be humble about it? Being shit and saying you are bad is not really humble.
deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 28 pts · 45d
spittingimage@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 45d
You still have an opportunity to impress me.
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 45d
He didn’t call me back
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 23 pts · 45d
You are impossible to underestimate
Canopyflyer@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 45d
Back in the early 90's I managed a Radio Shack and had an employee that could get away with murder talking to customers.
One day he was at the counter showing one of our regular customers programmable police scanners. One thing about this regular customer was he was dumb as a brick. He often brought back items because he flat out could not figure out how to use them. My employee was DETERMINED to sell this guy a programmable scanner, not the easiest bit of kit to use, and not have him return it. On the 4th time trying to show the guy how to program it my employee looked the customer straight in the face and said this gem:
"Don't worry, you just have to be smarter than the product."
Fortunately, he was the only customer in the store. I was standing at the other end of the counter working on a display when I heard that. I had to run to the back room before exploding with laughter.
The customer never caught on. He even walked out with one of the most expensive scanners and he never returned it.
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 4 pts · 45d
that's 👌🏼
chewypoops@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 45d
"I hope your day is as pleasant as you are"
If you get mad, it's an admission that you're an asshole.
rmuk@feddit.uk · 17 pts · 44d
After Charlie Kirk, school shooting defender, got shot at a school I trotted out the old line:
"May we all get to live in the world we strive for."
And, boy, did that make some people upset.
Polisheocket@lemmy.zip · -12 pts · 44d
Kinda messed up to mock someone’s death tbh
rmuk@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 44d
I didn't mock someone's death. I simply said how wonderful it is when people get to live in the world they strive for. Someone who works to make the air cleaner living free from pollution. Someone who campaigns for food security never going hungry. Someone who fights tooth and nail to block any attempt to prevent children having their heads blown apart by a lunatic wielding an automatic rifle in school getting their head blown apart by a lunatic wielding an automatic rifle in a school. Someone who volunteers at a dog rescue for years getting to live on one of those dog rescue ranches. And so on.
BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 44d
Clutch them pearls harder. The reactionaries have been celebrating the death of LGBT+ folks for decades, were cheering at the assassination of Minnesota law makers, and other much more reprehensible things than us saying a bad guy got what he deserved and worked for.
Stop with the notion that a dead person is suddenly sacred, they're not.
justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 44d
the interpretation of this one highly depends on the intonation. so writing this in text would be great
SPRUNTnsfw@fedinsfw.app · 19 pts · 45d
I can see that you weren't overburdened with an abundance of education.
wuphysics87@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 45d
He's only working with two tools and they are both screwdrivers
Today@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 45d
My boss (who is horrible) gave out little encouragement cards to everyone. I'm one of two especially vocal people in my department. We both got cards that say "You never cease to amaze me." 🤣🤣🤣 I keep it on my desk as a badge of honor.
hansolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 44d
I was about to fire a guy that saw the writing on the wall and retired early. Everyone loved him, but he was terrible and just getting worse every day.
"You're unforgettable!"
"You've made an indelible mark on us all, and this place!"
"Your replacement will have an incredible job ahead of them!"
I did thank him. A lot. I loved that he left!
Today@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 44d
They may feel they way about me. I got in trouble today for sending an email telling them what they need to buy for a classroom. "How dare you tell us what we need!! What do we need? Where do we get that?"
11111one11111@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 45d
Hows the married life?
Oh you know, living the dream. Each day's better than the next.
IWW4@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 44d
Holy shit that is brilliant!
11111one11111@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 44d
Its from Something About Mary. Like the first scene between Stiller and the actor who plays the butler with the fucked up hand in one of the original Scary Movies.
Edit: Chris Elliot is the actor who says the line to Stiller.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 44d
You really know how to make that look hard.
Thassodar@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 45d
I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you weren't.
Drusas@fedia.io · 14 pts · 45d
I once told someone, very publicly, something along the lines of "I hope other people treat you the way you just treated me." I don't know if the recipient got it, but the other people who were lined up to interact with her sure did (USPS office).
cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 45d
The original is more subtle: "I hope your day is as pleasant as you are," since it subtly implies the negative without outright stating it.
To go even more subtle, you can simply say "I hope you have the day you deserve." The brilliance of this one is, no one thinks they're the villain, so the person will think you're wishing them a good day. It depends on what they think of you (or what they think of what you think of them). If you're generally a well-natured sort who sees the good in people, they will probably take it as a compliment. But if you're more of a realist and you tend to treat people as they deserve, they might be second-guessing it.
Semester3383@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 45d
'I hope that you get all of the good things in life that you deserve' can certainly go either way.
sunrisepirate@piefed.social · 10 pts · 45d
That outfits a brave choice.
k0e3@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 45d
How come your brother is so smart?
123@programming.dev · 3 pts · 45d
Not that subtle unless the question is more of a statement.
FukOui@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 44d
My boss always just comments out with a smiley that something is amazing for every BS decision that the company makes
Tikitimebomb@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 45d
Just because you look at the pretty pictures in the yearbook does not mean any of them are your friend.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 45d
David Cross, of Mr Show (and a lot of other stuff), talked about how the frontman of Creed was gonna play celebrity poker with him. He'd trashed that guy a lot. Dude shows up: "Thanks for the words."
Cross: "Yeah, well."
He said he was particularly glad about that. It rocks.