c/memes · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 1y

title

801 points · 167 comments · view on lemmy.world

167 Comments

Deestan@lemmy.world · 221 pts · 1y (4 replies)

As a gentleman, I'd offer to hold the steering wheel so she has an easier time aiming her lance at oncoming traffic.

Cypher@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 1y (2 replies)

[ removed ]

Klear@sh.itjust.works · 45 pts · 1y

Then I would definitely hold the steering wheel.

Deestan@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y

Oh, that makes it easier!

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

Let's be honest: she's probably not a very good driver. They didn't even have cars back then, this must be a lot to process for her.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 166 pts · 1y (7 replies)

Take her to a knightclub

baatliwala@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (6 replies)

Hey Google, how do I award a comment Lemmy gold?

PainInTheAES@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (1 reply)

a golden lemming from Grizzy and The Lemmings holding his throbbing nugget

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 10 pts · 1y

The image hoster (freakin' Fandom) seems to be blocking cross-origin requests.

Reupload to catbox.moe:

Agent641@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (3 replies)

BTC: Hfv5337hdd-64drtGTmib85CT

(This is a joke, that's not a real Bitcoin wallet. DM me for the real one)

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (2 replies)

If it's not a real address, why is it letting me send all of these bitcoins to it?

Agent641@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Noooooo!

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Just admit it. You look pretty silly right about now.

SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 142 pts · 1y (8 replies)

Become the damsel in distress naturally (I'm a 6'2 bearded man)

GrymEdm@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Wouldn't it be nice to be the little spoon once in a while?

TehBamski@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 1y

Here, here!

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Jetpacking!

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I thought that was only when they fart... Or is that just another thing I shouldn't have said out loud

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y

Yes

joyjoy@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y

!rolereversal@lemmy.world

trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 1y

The bachelor in distress then

SassyRamen@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

I'm a 5'6 beardless man, we could make this a leaning Tower of Pisa

Pistcow@lemm.ee · 109 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Help her save France from the English.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 15 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Or burn her for being a witch and falsely claiming knighthood, depending on your team.

flughoernchen@feddit.org · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Why not both?

wieson@feddit.org · 6 pts · 1y

Found the Burgundian

dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world · 96 pts · 1y (13 replies)

What makes you think I'm not already similarly equipped?

(Any good excuse to trot out this heavy bastard, which I don't have occasion to do often enough anymore. It could really use a polish. There's a project for the weekend...)

Geometrinen_Gepardi@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 1y (9 replies)

What's the best way to polish that?

superkret@feddit.org · 85 pts · 1y

Give it to your squire.

Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee · 15 pts · 1y

Take it to Poland?

dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y

I usually attack it with a terrycloth and some Flitz. A little will go a surprisingly long way.

There are various methods of oiling, waxing, or otherwise preserving it afterwards. I prefer boiled linseed oil for that, personally.

In Ye Modern Times, you could also just make your mail out of something that doesn't rust. I didn't, though.

CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Angle grinder and a buffing pad with a heavy dose of Sex Wax

HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Hahaha! "Buffing pad".

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

"Heavy dose," indeed. ;)

InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

Clothes dryer and a bucket of sand would probably work.
Plus you can sell the self-dismantled dryer for parts after.

mipadaitu@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Toothbrush and time

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 1y

Basic Training PTSD coming back -- but on a Canadian base with some Brasso and so.many.doors.

brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Nice mail!

dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Thanks.

I have a set of matching super historically authentic pants in the same pattern and material (with suspenders!) as well. I might even still fit in them, but I haven't tried in a while.

brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y

Love it 😀

socsa@piefed.social · 72 pts · 1y (4 replies)

I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT

KAYDUBELL@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y (1 reply)

GET IN LOSER. WE’RE GOING DUNGEON DIVING

bhamlin@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y

WE CAN'T STOP HERE THIS IS DRAGON COUNTRY

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

lighting bolt lighting bolt lighting bolt

RangerJosie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

You. I like you.

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 69 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Demand a shrubbery.

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee · 30 pts · 1y (4 replies)

I'm here, I'm here.

Klear@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Demand... another shrubbery!

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 1y

I'm le here, ze second totally diffe-rent shrubbery, unassociated with that other one, zhat is why I have a poor accent!

ThePyroPython@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

Ni!

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y

[ removed ]

JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world · 64 pts · 1y

"I'm glad you brought protection"

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 61 pts · 1y

what i'm told

OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee · 57 pts · 1y

Not another one knight stand!

LEONHART@slrpnk.net · 55 pts · 1y

Take her to paladinner and a movie?

(Sorry.)

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 52 pts · 1y (1 reply)

beg her to marry me

Agent641@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

I hear women love being begged for things

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 1y (1 reply)

It greaves me to say it, but I'd pull her into a warm vambrace and try to tap that cuirass.

knightmare1147@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

I love this.

Now get out.

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 49 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Laugh at everyone who mocked me for carrying a SAK around.

Crashumbc@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Except that's the bottle opener...

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

https://www.tiktok.com/@factors_of_jack/video/7276159041309723950

Crashumbc@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Someone else who doesn't know which one is the can opener. So?

https://youtube.com/shorts/05Ica-Odzp4?si=8ltEpcp8J0w1ZWok

TastyWheat@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 1y (4 replies)

CALL THE LOCKSMITH!!!!!!!!!!!

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee · 41 pts · 1y (1 reply)

mayhair@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 1y

Sauce: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Klear@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1y

I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith.

ICastFist@programming.dev · 4 pts · 1y

Locksmith lawyering intensifies

Kowowow@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 1y

Get excited about where ever we're going because I know it should be awesome

essell@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Looks like I'm in for a good knight!

pfm@scribe.disroot.org · 15 pts · 1y (1 reply)

One knight stand?

Samsy@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 1y

The last knight standing must be a good knight.

mtpender@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 1y (1 reply)

We take Jerusalem!

josefo@leminal.space · 3 pts · 1y

This is the right answer

ayyy@sh.itjust.works · 25 pts · 1y (2 replies)

You’ve got mail!

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y (1 reply)

FE-mail. (Because Fe is the chemical symbol for iron.)

Empricorn@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 1y

You might be juuuust nerdy enough to win this fair knight's favor!

GrymEdm@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1y

Get either a piercing weapon to exploit weak points or a bludgeoning weapon to transmit force through the plate, because she's clearly here to do battle. Dinner can come AFTER I've defended my honor.

mrslt@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 1y

Yep, she's a keeper.

PugJesus@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Marry her.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y

I sense one or two potential red flags.

LovableSidekick@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1y

I would think there's a fair chance she might be interested in hearing all about my 18th level Paladin!

Gosh, is it warm in here?

Fatal9zero@lemm.ee · 19 pts · 1y

WD40

RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 1y

"Glad to see you brought protection." 😈

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1y

If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it

Edit: before any nerds weigh in, I know that's not ring mail.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y (3 replies)

As a longbow user, that armor isn't going to be much good

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Everyone thinks they've got a longbow...

Opisek@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Aboveaveragebow for sure.

Maalus@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Well, don't shoot your shot too early. Or rather, don't loose too early?

brown567@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Rejoice! She brought protection!

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Pretty iron-clad, too.

billwashere@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Immediately go buy a can opener?

GrymEdm@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

What's a can opener? Kind of NSFW - like not really, but if someone walks in on you watching you'll have some explaining to do.

Sailing7@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 1y

Yeaaahhhh. This is definitely still falling under the NSFW Category. :D

Not porn per se. But definitely not something to have playing at work. ^^

SplashJackson@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I would let her pull my sword for sure

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Unfortunately, you have an Ex-caliber sword.

muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee · 18 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Expect an inquisition into ur bedroom.

swab148@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 1y (2 replies)

No one expects the bedroom inquisition!

ThePyroPython@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Our chief kink is suprise!

ICastFist@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1y

Surprise and fear, two kinks!

bastion@feddit.nl · 16 pts · 1y

Marry her?

nobleshift@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y

[ removed ]

finitebanjo@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Ask if her father was possibly a little overprotective.

TehBamski@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y (1 reply)

'No daughter of mine is going out on a date without a full set of protection!'

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1y

You can never know when you end up in a battle.

FoolishObserver@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y (1 reply)

You don't need to put a ring on it...

... unless she was going to expand on the chain mail coif; then you'll need lots of rings.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Do you really want to be the first partner not to add a link to the chain?

beerclue@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y

Marry her!

NickwithaC@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Enjoy the ren faire.

kinther@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

This is the right answer. Maybe put my own gear on before we head out!

ummthatguy@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Damage@feddit.it · 3 pts · 1y

That's a long wait for sex

gedaliyah@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y

They say dress for the job you want...

MoogleMaestro@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 1y

Girl, you're dressed to slay tonight.

Jumi@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Take Jerusalem! Deus Vult!

Death_Equity@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

The only right answer.

I guess "joust her right then and there" also would be acceptable.

harmsy@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y

Let her conquer me.

Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 1y

Wife

dessimbelackis@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Ask her if the maille is butted or riveted

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

Is your armor as riveted as I am?

Is your armor butted? ...would you like it to be?

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 10 pts · 1y

"Oh shit. Why didn't you tell me we were going to a ren faire/Medieval Times? I would have dressed up too!"

lugal@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y

"I said we meat at night, not as knight"

cyborganism@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 1y

"Hey I got your two handed sword right here!"

*grabs crotch*

*she takes a look*

"Oh that's more like a little pocket knife isn't it?"

*makes sad hurt male ego noises*\

NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y

A duel it is then. Finishes last of my wine

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y (2 replies)

I'm underdressed and didn't know it.

superkret@feddit.org · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

You can hold her lance and sheathe her sword.

Twitches@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 1y

I'll let her sheath her sword any day.

Firoaren@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1y

Traditionally, thrust. Thrust hard, aim for the belly.

ThePyroPython@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Take her on a crusade to concur the holy land, start a quest to find the Holy Grail, and show her how to slay the dragon.

coffee_with_cream@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

I concur

fckreddit@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 1y

Badass.

Sarmyth@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

We going to Medieval Times!

TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee · 9 pts · 1y

kneels down, bowing my head against the flat of her long sword

"By the Lady before whom this sanctuary is holy, I will be true and faithful, and love all which she loves and shun all which she shuns, according to the laws of God and the order of the world. Nor will I ever with will or action, through word or deed, do anything which is unpleasing to her, on condition that she will hold to me as I shall deserve it, and that she will perform everything as it was in our agreement when I submitted myself to her and chose her will."

Then I'd take her out for pizza and bowling.

Glytch@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

Time to get medieval on dat ass.

hOrni@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

She could wear a trash bag if she's this cute, I'm still going out with her.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

Relevant username.

Piemanding@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1y

Plate armor? With chainmail links that bad? You trying to get yourself killed?

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

She can slay my dragon any time.

Noodle07@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y