Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It's Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It's the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they're strong as hell, and don't they have swords in them too?
I’d put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.
I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like they’re annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part I’d be more interested.
It's absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I'm almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?
Mind you, I'm very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it's done and tested though if anyone's interested.
I'm hoping it'll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it's gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I'm going all high quality.
If you did it today, it wouldn't be the first. Here are some:
The Unbreakable Umbrella is the first one I can recall hearing of. It's heavy (775g) and made of a composite material the manufacturer claims is good for hitting people.
"Stunbrella" is great. Top name. Slap a flashlight in the bottom of the handle, which can also be unscrewed off to unsheath a tanto-knife styled blade for piercing and prying (the flashlight end would essentially be the handle/pommel of this knife.)
My umbrella will be super light. It will connect on my back and blocks rain whichever the direction it's coming from. Think Dr Oct but only one limb holding an umbrella.
The unbrawlah. Any violence ends when you get within a meter or so of the umbrella when open. Not bounces off like a forcefield but like a zone of safety.
73 Comments
extremeboredom@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 296d
Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.
antrosapien@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 296d
Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together
extremeboredom@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 296d
Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It's Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de · 9 pts · 295d
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
extremeboredom@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 295d
This has me cackling thanks
Damage@feddit.it · 2 pts · 296d
Ok, but can you hold it above your head?
actionjbone@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 296d
Why wouldn't they be able to? It's an umbrella.
extremeboredom@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 296d
To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It's the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!
actionjbone@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 296d
I assumed that you wouldn't ask for an umbrella that you, yourself, would be unable to carry.
extremeboredom@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 296d
Now that just seems a bit unrealistic, doesn't it? Everyone knows nuclear reactors are quite heavy. Let's not stoop to silliness.
actionjbone@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 296d
What are you talking about? I don't know they are quite heavy, so that means everyone doesn't.
extremeboredom@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 295d
You're right, I'm sorry.
My design is flawless otherwise though right??
First_Thunder@lemmy.zip · 36 pts · 296d
Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 26 pts · 296d
Kingsman enjoyer?
Zahille7@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 296d
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they're strong as hell, and don't they have swords in them too?
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 31 pts · 296d
1
Tactical hand-free design is essential.
2
The top part detaches and is a drone.
felsiq@piefed.zip · 13 pts · 295d
I’d put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.
I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like they’re annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part I’d be more interested.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 295d
the song "jesus walks" has to play full volume fron the drone speakers when this happens
Quicky@piefed.social · 13 pts · 296d
Never folds the wrong way or moves unpredictably during strong winds.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 296d
Let's air pass through, but only one-way? Could potentially use it to Mary Poppins out of a situation
Zombiepirate@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 296d
Thermal mask against FPV drones.
And a cool sword, that'd be sick.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 296d
To fight off said drones, no doubt
MxRemy@piefed.social · 11 pts · 296d
It's absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I'm almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?
Mind you, I'm very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it's done and tested though if anyone's interested.
I'm hoping it'll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it's gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I'm going all high quality.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 295d
Dunno, umbrellas just popped into my head -- probably to do with the rain we have here
Have fun with the modelling!
MxRemy@piefed.social · 2 pts · 295d
Thanks!! It's rainy here too lol
Zak@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 296d
If you did it today, it wouldn't be the first. Here are some:
ICCrawler@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 296d
"Stunbrella" is great. Top name. Slap a flashlight in the bottom of the handle, which can also be unscrewed off to unsheath a tanto-knife styled blade for piercing and prying (the flashlight end would essentially be the handle/pommel of this knife.)
ashenone@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 296d
Its a Mary Poppins umbrella that floats you gently to the ground. And a laser shoots from the top.
SmoothIsFast@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 296d
Wouldn't you want the lasers to shoot from the sides? How likely is there to be an enemy above you as you float to the ground?
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 295d
Ergonomically, it makes more sense to hold it like a rifle when it's folded.
SmoothIsFast@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 294d
Yeah, but then you'd plummet to the ground...
agent_nycto@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 295d
Found OP
Tracaine@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 296d
Integrated fleshlight in the handle. Screen on the underside of the umbrella for videos. Bullet resistant outer shell that expands into a small tent.
cRazi_man@europe.pub · 6 pts · 296d
Pump action umbrella
tetris11@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 296d
You got me back with the tent
stevedice@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 296d
It's just an RV. A regular RV. No bells or whistles. Just an RV. It has a toolbox.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 296d
How do you carry it around
stevedice@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 296d
It carries you around.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 296d
How do you take it on a flight with you
stevedice@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 296d
Why would you flight? Just drive it.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 296d
can you take it on a plane
ferric_carcinization@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 295d
If you make it amphibious and go fast enough, it will plane.
dogs0n@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 295d
I'm gonna stuff that unlimited budget between the fabric layers of mine and take it home with me.
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 296d
It has a stash of termites inside that can be injected into wooden structures for very slow infiltration of wooden doors and structures.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 296d
Your enemies wont know what hit them.
Fleur_@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 295d
Shield from rain
JargonWagon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 295d
Found the middle management testing out their interview question about creativity.
CentauriBeau@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 295d
It wouldn’t be the first… the KGB assassinated a guy with one at least once.Bulgarian Umbrella
AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 296d
Reflective inner surface that can double as a solar cooker.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 296d
That could be quite handy in a survival sitation, along with another posters suggestion that it can double as a tent in a pinch
pineapple@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 295d
Somehow rain never hits you from the side even when it's windy or your running really fast.
Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 295d
Pretty much everything from Johnny English
flx@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 295d
Kill dissidents https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulgarian_umbrella
spittingimage@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 296d
A hidden button pops out saw teeth at the edges and starts the whole thing spinning. I will wade through this storm, of my own creation.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 296d
Might be the ultimate zombie weapon depending on battery life
SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 295d
Cover the entire thing in Molle
NorthWestWind@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 296d
It has a detachable canopy that can stabilize and move on its own for 5-6 seconds
tetris11@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 296d
That's pretty cool, it could be a drone of sorts that follows where you point the shaft like a baton
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 295d
umbrella@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 296d
otter@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 296d
Snack compartment
Nasan@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 295d
Was gonna say high capacity pez dispenser.
Vex_Detrause@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 295d
My umbrella will be super light. It will connect on my back and blocks rain whichever the direction it's coming from. Think Dr Oct but only one limb holding an umbrella.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 295d
thats really cool, and I feel could be made today
RBWells@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 292d
The unbrawlah. Any violence ends when you get within a meter or so of the umbrella when open. Not bounces off like a forcefield but like a zone of safety.
PumpkinSkink@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 294d
I add a chatbot to it.
Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 295d
Make it so it never rains if you have the umbrella with you.
rbn@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 295d
In before all life going extinct due to a massive drought.
multifariace@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 295d
What would happen if I wore my rain boots (it always rains where they are worn) and held this umbrella?
communism@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 295d
But then you have no need for the umbrella if it's not raining. It just becomes dead weight.
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 295d
comes up with tactics as the name implies
PiraHxCx@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 296d
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 295d
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 295d
It doesn't look like anything. It's an invisibility umbrella.
It also lets you walk through walls.
jasoman@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 296d
The umbrella from Kings Avatar.