This is how those onlyfans promo account posts read. "Would you (obese gamer virgin) fuck me (fit nude model) however you want if I begged you for it enough????"
And then the comments like "yes baby I'd love to 😋😍😉"
On a serious note, if you have a striped screw hole on a door hinge, put some tooth picks in the hole, snap off the bit that sticks out, and put the screw back in. I’ve fixed so many doors this way.
Does it matter what direction the stripes run on the screw? :)
To add to this, a stripped screw into concrete or brick can be fixed with the same method but using a small piece of copper wire the length of the screw.
Plot twist, you're teleported in a room that will be set on fire if a switch isn't pressed within 2 hours and broken door hinge blocks you from pressing it
A piece of paper with number "1" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "2" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "3" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "4" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "5" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "6" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "7" written on it.
A piece of paper with "Jackie Chan" written on it.
...
Damn it, I was so close
You can pretend, you can lie to yourself and us - your friends - but your door hinge repair addiction is becoming a problem.
So we've pooled some of our resources together to try to help you...
You all are misinterpetting this. If in the rest of your life you spend 2 hours or more fixing door hinges the 500 million is revoked and if you're in the negative now they take your organs to make up for the deficit.
I can imagine the genie thinking “Bwahaha I tricked you!” and then getting increasingly frustrated that I never fix a door hinge again even though I didn’t notice the trick wording.
Right? It's like... let's see. I have half a billion dollars. I just noticed my door hinge isn't working correctly. Do I
A. Attempt to fix it, requiring maybe a trip to the hardware store, but at the minimum some time and effort
B. Ask my assistant to call someone and go back to playing video games
I just honestly don't think I could. They say money can't buy happiness and it sure as hell can't buy a properly self installed and adjusted door hinge.
Otherwise known as a drywall anchor or wall plug. My parents also call them mollies, but those are different (though also often used for screwing things into drywall).
Yeah, I didn't understand why people were going around talking about toothpicks when there is a thingy specifically made for the job.
To use a toothpick, I would need to go out and buy a pack, while I already have a dozen of them plugs lying around in my house.
In fact I got 2 more pieces, complementary with the a handheld mixer, because it had a wall-mount fitment.
I would buy a tent and a pickup truck. Then I'll set up a tent in the back of the pickup truck. And I'm going to have a house on wheels without door hinges because tents don't have door hinges. Crazy enough?
At first, I thought that I actually need to fix any door with hinges for exactly 2 hours and for the challenge would be given a very complicated dozen hinged door and was OK with it, but then, well... I realized that this challenge is impossible.
for those who need to hear this, you can fix/adjust automatic door closers with just a screwdriver. Google a tutorial and go nuts at your job fixing all your minor inconveniences!!
98 Comments
Asafum@feddit.nl · 92 pts · 292d
Are you stupid?! I make 1 billion an hour repairing door hinges! What kind of fool takes this kind of "deal"
Scam! Release the door hinge files!
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 292d
You could say they're... unhinged 😎
MimicJar@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 292d
Yes. I can spend those two hours watching door hinge repair videos on YouTube, I was going to do that anyway.
123@programming.dev · 14 pts · 292d
Spend 2 hours watching door hinge repair videos followed by buying a new house since you have 500m.
MimicJar@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 292d
A new house! Just think of all the new doors with hinges that need adjusting.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 292d
Sure you were. And then you were finally going to get around to fixing them, right!? Just take your precious money.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 292d
All jokes aside your youtube recommendations for the next 3.4 years will include door hinges.
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de · 28 pts · 292d
As long as I can break door hinges for those 2 hours, I'm good.
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 26 pts · 291d
This is how those onlyfans promo account posts read. "Would you (obese gamer virgin) fuck me (fit nude model) however you want if I begged you for it enough????"
And then the comments like "yes baby I'd love to 😋😍😉"
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 291d
I fucking hate this whole dynamic.
Localhorst86@feddit.org · 7 pts · 291d
"If you could do anything with me in a hotel room, what would you do?"
Grimtuck@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 291d
Scrabble
Localhorst86@feddit.org · 5 pts · 291d
Nice. I love board games.
MisterFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 289d
I just want to congratulate you on the excellent punny username haha
I hope that's not your actual name and birth year though, DATENSCHUTZ! (/jk)
Anissem@lemmy.ml · 20 pts · 292d
On a serious note, if you have a striped screw hole on a door hinge, put some tooth picks in the hole, snap off the bit that sticks out, and put the screw back in. I’ve fixed so many doors this way.
BootLoop@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 292d
Does it matter what direction the stripes run on the screw? :)
To add to this, a stripped screw into concrete or brick can be fixed with the same method but using a small piece of copper wire the length of the screw.
Anissem@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 292d
Unfortunately I don’t know enough about screws to tell if this is a joke
BootLoop@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 292d
I'm making a dumb joke about your spelling haha. Striped is like a zebra, as in having stripes. Stripped is what happens when a screw is stripped.
Anissem@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 292d
Ohhh I see. I had a feeling I was wrong about that spelling, hah. I shouldn’t have put my faith in autocorrect
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 292d
Stripping screws sucks. Screwing strippers is pretty cool.
TheRealKuni@piefed.social · 6 pts · 292d
You don’t need wood glue? Just the toothpicks?
Anissem@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 292d
I’ve gotten many loose screws tight with just toothpicks, no glue.
bzLem0n@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 292d
Wood glue and toothpicks, without the glue the toothpicks would get pulled out.
kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 292d
Wood glue won't hurt (though you do have to wait for it to dry), but friction alone is often enough to do a decent job.
marcos@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 292d
You are better with some plastic, but any flexible material will do. Glue will only make you life harder.
Wispy2891@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 292d
Plot twist, you're teleported in a room that will be set on fire if a switch isn't pressed within 2 hours and broken door hinge blocks you from pressing it
groet@feddit.org · 16 pts · 292d
Every broken doorhinge can be bypassed in two ways. Fix it. Or break it more.
ulterno@programming.dev · 0 pts · 292d
Perhaps you could look for an alternate solution?
rainbowbunny@slrpnk.net · 14 pts · 292d
What rhymes with orange?
prime_number_314159@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 292d
"Sporange" does. If you're especially bad at pronouncing words, many other things also rhyme with orange, like flange, range, and monkey.
BanMe@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 291d
Porridge, horseridge, the entire first act of Hamlet, LaBron James' telephone number in Spanish,
CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 292d
Doorhinge
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 291d
No it doesn't.
SeventySeven@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 292d
Drake and Josh reference, nice.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 292d
"Name 10 things that aren't Jackie Chan!"
otacon239@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 292d
Uuuuhhh… Laptop, horse, Jackie Chan — Damn!
altphoto@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 292d
Jacklyn Chan, Jackie Chan-Darn!
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 292d
Blackie chan, Mackey chan, chimi changa, four chan, channel three, the English Channel, black and chan, dr. Chan, Jackie chan FUCK
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 292d
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 292d
Nalivai@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 291d
A piece of paper with number "1" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "2" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "3" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "4" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "5" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "6" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "7" written on it.
A piece of paper with "Jackie Chan" written on it.
...
Damn it, I was so close
Wilco@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 292d
WTF is this on about?
wieson@feddit.org · 12 pts · 291d
You can pretend, you can lie to yourself and us - your friends - but your door hinge repair addiction is becoming a problem.
So we've pooled some of our resources together to try to help you...
Siethron@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 292d
You all are misinterpetting this. If in the rest of your life you spend 2 hours or more fixing door hinges the 500 million is revoked and if you're in the negative now they take your organs to make up for the deficit.
grte@lemmy.ca · 26 pts · 292d
If I had half a billion dollars I can promise you I would be spending zero seconds of the rest of my life screwing in door hinges.
binarytobis@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 292d
I can imagine the genie thinking “Bwahaha I tricked you!” and then getting increasingly frustrated that I never fix a door hinge again even though I didn’t notice the trick wording.
kn33@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 292d
Right? It's like... let's see. I have half a billion dollars. I just noticed my door hinge isn't working correctly. Do I
A. Attempt to fix it, requiring maybe a trip to the hardware store, but at the minimum some time and effort
B. Ask my assistant to call someone and go back to playing video games
I know what I'd do.
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 292d
If I had that money I could finally pursue my passion of fixing door hinges.
pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 292d
I would simply use $250 million to buy replacement door hinges for the ones I can't fix during that time. Easy peasy.
ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 292d
And how do I explain my income to federal agencies?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 292d
Pretty sure there's no IRS anymore. Just give Trump some gold-plated turd and you get a no taxes season pass.
ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 291d
Ah yes, everyone on the internet is American
Nalivai@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 291d
Give Trump some gold-plated turd, and you get to become American and not pay any taxes
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 292d
As long as you pay taxes on it, IRS ain't snitching.
Burninator05@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 292d
I conveniently own a laundromat and several other cash only businesses.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 292d
I am a door to door salesman.
ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 292d
Good for you.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 292d
I like turtles
ApertureUA@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 291d
I like trains.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 291d
I like you
ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online · 1 pts · 292d
It fell off a truck.
Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 291d
I just honestly don't think I could. They say money can't buy happiness and it sure as hell can't buy a properly self installed and adjusted door hinge.
empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 292d
I work for a door company, that's going to be super difficult
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 12 pts · 292d
They'll probably fire you. What will you do without a job!?!
ButteryMonkey@piefed.social · 8 pts · 292d
Take a day off, or like, just quit instead.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 292d
Some of us have bills to pay.
ButteryMonkey@piefed.social · 1 pts · 292d
empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 291d
A day off? In this economy?
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 292d
ever heard of free time?
empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 291d
what's that?
guy@piefed.social · 6 pts · 292d
Like, I am not allowed to or I just physically can't?
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 292d
Pretty sure it's been 5 years since I've meddled with any door hinge.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 292d
it's been less than a year, and to this day that door just ain't right
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 292d
You're not fooling anybody here, friend.
Triumph@fedia.io · 5 pts · 292d
Pro tip:
If the holes in the door frame are wallowed out, jam some pieces of toothpick in there first, then put the hinge on and screw it in.
Diddlydee@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 292d
Master tip:
Use a rawl plug
kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 292d
Otherwise known as a drywall anchor or wall plug. My parents also call them mollies, but those are different (though also often used for screwing things into drywall).
ulterno@programming.dev · 1 pts · 292d
Yeah, I didn't understand why people were going around talking about toothpicks when there is a thingy specifically made for the job.
To use a toothpick, I would need to go out and buy a pack, while I already have a dozen of them plugs lying around in my house. In fact I got 2 more pieces, complementary with the a handheld mixer, because it had a wall-mount fitment.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 292d
what am unhinged proposition
zxqwas@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 292d
What's the ruling on paying someone to fix a door hinge? Knowing my luck it's when the bathroom and front door comes off.
tgcoldrockn@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 292d
Replace your 'door' hinges with 'cabinet' or 'industrial maritime' hinges and your semantic loophole is set.
vale@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 291d
define "fix"
Agent641@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 291d
Like with all the exes!
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 292d
Two metric hours or two imperial hours?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 292d
Light hours.
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 292d
In that case I would do it. Heavy hours would be a different story
JustVik@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 291d
I would buy a tent and a pickup truck. Then I'll set up a tent in the back of the pickup truck. And I'm going to have a house on wheels without door hinges because tents don't have door hinges. Crazy enough?
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 291d
truck doors have hinges. I have been known to fix those.
JustVik@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 288d
Ok, ok, My plan is ruined. I urgently need to hire qualified planners to make a new one. :)
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 288d
Just looking out for you, make sure you make it all two hours.
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 292d
Smoke a few joints and make a garden bed.
Bazell@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 292d
At first, I thought that I actually need to fix any door with hinges for exactly 2 hours and for the challenge would be given a very complicated dozen hinged door and was OK with it, but then, well... I realized that this challenge is impossible.
marzhall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 292d
Do I still get to grease squeaky hinges? If so, maybe a deal.
Luci@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 292d
God no omg
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 292d
BootLoop@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 292d
This doesn't need repairing, this is perfect how it is now
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 291d
What's this meme about?
danekrae@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 292d
capuccino@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 292d
We are in that age, huh
altphoto@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 292d
Yes, I believe I would do it even if everyone I know must die of natural causes some day...at random!
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 289d
for those who need to hear this, you can fix/adjust automatic door closers with just a screwdriver. Google a tutorial and go nuts at your job fixing all your minor inconveniences!!