I've probably seen more naked ladies than my entire bloodline combined

With high speed internet coming out at exactly the same time as my sex drive developed, I have probably seen more nude women than every human in my direct ancestry.

If not combined, I definitely have the high score for now.

432 points · 71 comments · view on lemmy.world

71 Comments

HuntressHimbo@lemmy.zip · 269 pts · 193d (16 replies)

By not having kids, you could cement your place as #1 titty seer of your bloodline

hansolo@lemmy.today · 54 pts · 193d (8 replies)

Turns out that there's a curse on humanity that if you see more than 800 boobs in your life, your chromosomes self-destruct. But we've never had data to figure out all out.

HuntressHimbo@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 193d

I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. it could be a lot worse than death by titties

arin@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 193d (1 reply)

Down syndrome people would love this trick

6stringringer@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 193d

And the chromosome challenged absolutely hate it.

Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 193d (1 reply)

800 boobs, even if only counting naked and from a real person (no AI, no drawings) is a low low number, and even skipping porn most pimps will have seen that number in their lives.

errer@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 193d

I saw 800 boobs just last night. 800 is rookie numbers.

Eq0@literature.cafe · 9 pts · 193d (1 reply)

Poor gynecologists…

hansolo@lemmy.today · 13 pts · 193d

Nope, only applies to boobs. A curse wouldn't seek to deny innocent people medical treatment.

Poor mamogram techs, though. Between the radiation and the boobiation... rip.

Im_old@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 193d

I can confirm that I've defied the curse then! 😅

ceenote@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 193d (5 replies)

Are you saying parents can't have porn addictions?

PapaStevesy@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 193d (2 replies)

I think they just meant that having a kid opens it up so you might not stay #1.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 193d

Genuinely couldn't figure out what HuntressHimbo meant 😅

AmidFuror@fedia.io · 2 pts · 193d

ceenote might be saying that OP's dad watches more porn than OP.

HuntressHimbo@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 193d

No I more meant that OP could keep their lead perpetually by not having kids who could top them.

arin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 193d

The internet isn't for porn?? Oh no

TheFunkyMonk@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 193d

Adding this to the list of benefits to being snipped.

ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 81 pts · 193d (10 replies)
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5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org · 74 pts · 193d (6 replies)

I only ever touched one naked lady. That was 16 years ago. I liked it so much, I never touched another one. She seemed to liked being touched by me too and never left.

PapaStevesy@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 193d (5 replies)

Really hoping this isn't a joke about your mom...

5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org · 123 pts · 193d (4 replies)

Not at all, it’s a joke about your mom.

PapaStevesy@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 193d (3 replies)

Oh sheeeeee

Viceversa@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 193d

So you two are father and son! So cute!

usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 193d (1 reply)

In fairness, your mom's so fat it's difficult not to touch her

NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 192d

Don't kink shame!

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 192d

Especially if your grandparents were swingers.

I could have done without knowing that but there we are...

SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 192d

fewer

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 191d
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danciestlobster@lemmy.zip · 80 pts · 193d (6 replies)

I hear an alarming large number of people can trace their ancestry back to Genghis Khan and I am not sure you have him beat. Maybe though

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 56 pts · 193d (3 replies)

Oh i forgot about that guy. Its a closer match-up than i thought.

cenzorrll@piefed.ca · 10 pts · 193d (2 replies)

Also, mammals evolved around 300 million years ago, and being generous, clothes were first used 3 million years ago. So the number of generations of your ancestors who didn't see tiddies everyday is a rounding error to the number who did. And they were ALL successful *vaguely waves in your direction*

Squirrelsdrivemenuts@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 193d (1 reply)

But during the "walking around naked" times people tended to live in small communities, whereas we have access to thousands of naked people online everyday.

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 192d

Yeah i was thinking you go on a gallery site and you scroll past scores of them without even noticing. An advert pops up with like 10 different naked chicks thumbnails and you close it before you even take in any details, but you've still seen them. Its gotta add up

tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 193d (1 reply)

I dunno, even assuming Ghengis had sex every day and his proclivities leaned toward having multiple concubines sent to him at one time, that still doesn't necessarily equal the number of different people someone could cycle through during a session of flogging the bishop. Someone with a high libido could easily pass Khan these days.

sukhmel@programming.dev · 4 pts · 193d

But he could've organised orgies to increase daily nudes views, optimisation

Hello_there@fedia.io · 47 pts · 193d (6 replies)

Should have been a gynecologist.
30 min appointments.
40 hr weeks.
80 vaginas per week.
4160 vaginas per year.
Some repeats per year, probs, but not all. Maybe 3000 more per year?
20 year career.
61,000 vaginas.

Of course that probably ruins all joy out of seeing them. But that's a best in bloodline amount of puss.

FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 193d (1 reply)

As a working artist, can confirm.

Seeing nude people for work is less fun.

TexasDrunk@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 193d

I had a part time gig DJing at a strip club for a brief time. It gets old much quicker than people think.

GenosseFlosse@feddit.org · 17 pts · 193d (2 replies)

Some of them will be from healthy, slim 20 year old girls, but some will be from the opposite end of the spectrum 😐

Nastybutler@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 193d

Or speculum, you could say

entwine@programming.dev · 8 pts · 193d

Blue waffles are a lot more common than you might assume

jballs@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 193d

But that's a best in bloodline amount of puss.

Lmao I'm dying over here

Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 193d (2 replies)

Counterpoint: We used to exist without any clothing and saw naked ladies all the time. And naked dudes. And even gasp naked children.

danciestlobster@lemmy.zip · 27 pts · 193d

Yes but also probably not a ton outside relatively small tribes so might still be low numbers

Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 193d
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PiraHxCx@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 25 pts · 193d (8 replies)

But did you see them IN PERSON? How good is your score now, uh?

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 44 pts · 193d (1 reply)

I'm definitely tied for last place unless theres some blindness along the way...

Eq0@literature.cafe · 8 pts · 193d

Or some ultra-Christian middle age stuff against nudity even in the bedroom

johsny@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 193d

I live in a naturist resort, (nudist colony) so I still win, probably.

seriousslayerguy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 193d (4 replies)
datavoid@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 193d (3 replies)

Probably at least 2 though

seriousslayerguy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 192d (2 replies)

Did I stutter?

datavoid@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 192d (1 reply)

Sorry about your mom

seriousslayerguy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 191d

I have 2 daddies:) but nice try

tinyvoltron@discuss.online · 15 pts · 193d

Are we talking 400 different women or just 800 total boobs in different situations? This is an important distinction.

CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social · 14 pts · 193d

To be fair, any currently living but older relatives will have had the ability to access high speed internet for just as long as you, but also time with older forms of media as well.

justsomeguy@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 193d (1 reply)

In the yearbook of your bloodline after the entries for greatest warrior, wisest thinker, kindest soul and many others there will be you, top gooner.

A long unbroken line that dies in a million fruitless nuts.

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 193d

I hope we dont have to meet everyone in the afterlife. Imagine how disappointed they'll be.

paraphrand@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 193d

Men too :smart:

abbadon420@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 193d (1 reply)

It's about quality, noy quantity

BlackLodgeCooper@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 193d

We're about to have some quality quantum-titties in the future.

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 193d

Your parents:

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 193d (1 reply)

My body count is well over twenty, but nothing in the past eight years, by choice. I'm 60.

I'm not bragging, my number is pretty low compared to my contemporaries, even the women.

I do wonder about my virgin adult son, though. Not that I'd ever ask, it's his business, not mine. Also, none of this matters at all. Not seeing pictures of nude women, not having sex. It's just a nice aside to living life, not important.

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 193d

I'm not bragging, my number is pretty low compared to my contemporaries, even the women.

I think that's a very healthy number. I'm 53 and I had a very self-destructive first half (+) of my life. I stopped counting very deep into the triple digits and if you told me that I hit four digits, I would not be shocked. I have only been with two people I have loved or cared for and, in my opinion, that's the only number that matters.

IMHO, our generation had a fucked up relationship with sex.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 193d (1 reply)

With high speed internet coming out at exactly the same time as my sex drive developed

What percentage of all the naked ladies publically posted on the internet do you think you've seen?

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 193d

Probably close to 0%. Theres a fuckton

skisnow@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 193d

Magritte would like a word

FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 193d

It's a good time to be alive.

JerryMerweather@piefed.social · 2 pts · 193d (2 replies)

I unfortunately watched porn too, and I regret every second I wasted watching porn.
Supported sex trafficking without even knowing, and ruined my life with it.

Not proud of what I did, I am disgusted.

GottaHaveFaith@fedia.io · 8 pts · 193d

That's why I only jerk off to hentai tentacles porn. My conscience is immaculate, god itself will welcome me into heaven. I am ready.

paraphrand@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 193d

People don’t like to look at this dimension. They just like to talk about how seeking out porn is natural and normal for teens. I’ve seen a few people around Lemmy make this claim as an argument against doing anything about how we handle pornography in the modern world.

They don’t want to consider the fact that unfettered access to porn from puberty impacts how a whole class of people engage with the world, and with others. Impacts how they socialize, how hard they try in seeking out partners. Etc. It’s a deep subject that just gets dismissed for a variety of shallow reasons.

KeenFlame@feddit.nu · 1 pts · 192d

Yes but consider the children

grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one · 1 pts · 193d

well digital pix of them anyway

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 193d

🤯