What Linux Distro is your Christian Denomination?

93 points · 116 comments · view on lemmy.world

116 Comments

chaotic_disorganizer@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 163d

Heaven's Gate: TempleOS

negativenull@piefed.world · 24 pts · 163d (6 replies)


Unitarian Universalism

1dalm@lemmings.world · 11 pts · 163d (5 replies)

To stick to the theme of my chart, since Unitarian Universalism is non-trinitarian it would likely need to be a Unix-like OS that isn't Linux. I would give it OpenSolaris. (And that's a compliment.)

jqubed@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 162d (3 replies)

I think several on your chart don’t believe in the Trinity? Pretty sure LDS, JW, and at least some Pentecostal? I think they all self-identify as Christian, though, but some Unitarians might not? Is that the difference?

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 162d (2 replies)

That's my exact thought process. I put LDS at Android because they do identify as Christian, but we are really stretching the definition of what technically counts as Christian.

Honestly I don't know as much as I ought to about UU, but I didn't think that they generally identify as Christian.

jqubed@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 162d (1 reply)

I looked up Lineage and see it’s also an Android variant. What’s the Pentecostal logo?

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 162d

Pentecostal is KaOS.

A built-from-scratch Linux that doesn't rely on any of the other branches and just does is own kinda specific thing. (You can probably suggest something better. I was kinda running out of ideas for that one.)

negativenull@piefed.world · 4 pts · 163d

I freaking loved Opensolaris!, so that works too!

chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 162d (5 replies)

Linux Distro

Windows 11, macOS, and FreeBSD on the list

Wat

1dalm@lemmings.world · 3 pts · 162d (4 replies)

Think about it a little more....

chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 162d (3 replies)

A prosperity gospel church is still a church, unless you're referring to WSL as the equivalent of "Linux".

1dalm@lemmings.world · 15 pts · 162d (2 replies)

I do not consider those churches to be Christian. Their theology is significantly removed from orthoxy that it's unrecognizable.

But even still, as with WSL, you can find some Christianity in there if you work really hard to find it.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 161d (1 reply)

Exhibit 9370 supporting officially renaming the "no true Scotsman" logical fallacy to "no true Christian"

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 161d

If only Christians centuries ago agreed on a basic statement that could define what is orthodox Christianity...

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 163d (8 replies)

I understand very few of these, except for arch, slack and the bottom row.

How is ope suse and chrome Os related? Are baptist and southern baptist very different?

evasive_chimpanzee@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 163d

Northern baptists were decentralized abolitionists, while southern baptists were centralized and pro-slavery.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 8 pts · 163d

Arch is the denomination that is super proud of itself, despite being messed up for most people. OpenSuse is Baptist due to it's general reliability and flexibility. ChromeOS is Southern Baptist because it's barely recognizable as Linux.

ShyFae@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 163d (5 replies)

I've heard mostly bad things about southern baptists, so I understand why the chrome os. I'm unsure of the relations of baptists and southern baptists.

Evangelicals are typically traditional, very conservative, and proud. I thats a play on the arch user of doing everything in the command line and letting everyone know.

Orthodox is has some nuonsed diffrences to Catholic, but is under a different hierarchy. Not sure how that relates to slackware

The bottem row are all non Christian, so they are aptly not linux.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 6 pts · 163d (4 replies)

Orthodox is Slackware because it's the oldest Christian denomination and changes very slowly.

Omnipitaph@reddthat.com · 0 pts · 161d (3 replies)

Wait... Orthodox is the oldest? The Catholic rhetoric is that they are the oldest denomination. I feel bamboozled!

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 161d (2 replies)

Orthodox

I'm sure the Catholics would disagree with me, and that's fine with me. But personally I would say the Orthodox are the oldest continuous movement of Christianity. Not only do they historically beat out the Romans by a few decades, but also they have maintained a far more consistent liturgy over the millennia. The Catholics have had a a good handful of major liturgical changes that I would say constitute a few major breaks in historical consistency.

That's not a criticism from me. I'm Anglican.

Omnipitaph@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Well dang! From what I can tell, you're right. Now I wanna check out an Orthodox church xD

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 160d

Orthodox

The Orthodox communion is having a bit of a revival right now. Which happens on occasion for them, because they are really misunderstood in the West.

For example, in the 2000s they had a brief boom period where "new-agey" type people were attracted to the mystical aspects of the church. I think that boom was short lived because those people really just wanted spiritual consumerism, and, as far as Christian denominations go, Orthodoxy is hard work. It's not for beginners. If you aren't born into it then it's really hard to break in. (By my understanding is that if you do the hard work the community and spiritual benefits are really meaningful.)

Unfortunately, today their current boom (if it's still going on, this information is a few years old now) is coming from Proud boys-type people. They were interested it it because it's seen as adequately homophobic and sexist for them. My guess is that their interest was ultimately short lived as well because they aren't going to be interested in doing the work any more than the Live-Laugh-Love crowd was.

MistressRemilia@lemmy.sdf.org · 13 pts · 163d (1 reply)

If I go distro->religion then I guess I'm Orthodox.

If I go religion->distro then I guess I need to start using a TI graphing calculator.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 3 pts · 162d

If you use Slack then you are probably a person that finds benefit in self-inflicted struggles. You seriously might find benefit and meaning in the Orthodox Church.

kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 163d (5 replies)

ReactOS should be mormonism

Successful_Try543@feddit.org · 2 pts · 162d (4 replies)

It's not Linux, thus not even "Christian"

I just noticed, that the scheme also includes e.g. "Atheism" and "pagan", which aren't Christian denominations either.

crater2150@feddit.org · 4 pts · 162d (3 replies)

Well to be fair, atheism and pagan also are assigned to non-Linux OSes here.

Successful_Try543@feddit.org · 2 pts · 162d (2 replies)

Yes, the title of the scheme is confusing.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 5 pts · 162d (1 reply)

I really thought more people in this group would get that joke.

InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 161d

Lemmd are often too literal. The meme makes perfect sense

pHr34kY@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 162d (1 reply)

I disagree. You have MacOS as "Spiritual but not Religious".

MacOS is Hillsong.

Also, many of these are not Christian, and many of these are not Linux.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 7 pts · 162d

MacOS is Hillsong.

I can see that.

Also, many of these are not Christian, and many of these are not Linux.

I'm aware.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 10 pts · 163d (2 replies)

I was really proud of a lot of these jokes by the way. Many are multi-layered.

VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Which I would appreciate ... if I had the least idea about Christian sects in the US.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 162d

Then you aren't my main target audience.

Ghostie@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 162d (3 replies)
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deathbird@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 162d

It's a classic!

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 161d (1 reply)

Hannah Montana Linux is still the goat

Ghostie@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 161d
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iopq@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 162d (1 reply)

FreeBSD is definitely Satanism

pHr34kY@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 162d

It's very Christian to not understand the difference.

warmaster@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 163d (2 replies)

Presbyterian Biker ? (Bazzite)

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 162d

The motorcycle chose you?

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 163d

Checks out

btsax@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 162d (2 replies)

Wait, ChromeOS was explicitly created to support the institution of chattel slavery? Who knew?!

1dalm@lemmings.world · 7 pts · 162d

Sounds about right to me.

TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 162d

It was created by google. That's not impossible or even particularly improbable

Davel23@fedia.io · 5 pts · 163d (1 reply)

Slackware really should be Church of the Subgenius.

deathbird@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 162d

Too on the nose.

EponymousBosh@awful.systems · 5 pts · 163d

I feel like you made this chart for me specifically, so thank you

jambudz@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 163d (2 replies)

I have to find my damn calculator from 20 years ago?

ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Don't worry, you can buy a new one, but they're still the same price...

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 162d

But at least with inflation...

NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 163d (9 replies)

Where does that put Judaism? Just a bare Linux kernel without the rest of the OS?

1dalm@lemmings.world · 23 pts · 163d (8 replies)

Judaism is Unix.

kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 163d (5 replies)

Nah Unix should be Zoroastrianism and Judaism should be Minix

notthebees@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 162d (4 replies)

That would imply Judaism copied Zoroastrianism's homework. Since they came around the same time, it would be something else. Zoroastrianism should be AmigaOS. Judaism should be Unix. Would islam be Solaris? Would Wahhabism be Solaris post oracle?

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 162d

I like reading the comments from people that got the joke.

kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 162d (2 replies)

To be fair Judaism did for the most part copy Zoroastrianisms homework

notthebees@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 162d (1 reply)

I guess. But it feels very different from Judaism as best as I can tell. And Zoroastrianism is still seperate from the big 3 monotheistic religions.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 161d

The guy is really just not right about that. There was a lot of cultural mixing going around back in the early iron age, but Judaism borrowed much more from the Egyptians, Babylonians, and the Greeks than they did the Persians. And it also has a lot of very unique features as well.

Yes there was also cultural exchange with the Persians that found it's way into Judaism, but it's just not correct to say it's a copy.

NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 163d

Oh, of course!

notthebees@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 162d

What would Islam be? Gnu Herd?

Edit: I made the joke in a different comment but Islam would be Solaris and Wahhabism would be post oracle Solaris.

meow@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 162d (6 replies)

First up: FreeBSD is NOT a Linux distribution, and secondly, is NetBSD so small that it is nowhere to be found?

Berkeley software distribution ≠ Linux (or gnu+Linux, which is btw not true for all distros.)

1dalm@lemmings.world · 16 pts · 162d

That's part of the joke.

timestatic@feddit.org · 8 pts · 162d (1 reply)

When was Windows 11, Lineage/Android, MacOS or a fucking TI calculator a proper Linux distro

woelkchen@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 162d

Lineage/Android

Only the kernel is called Linux. The userspace is completely different from GNU/Linux but the actual software named Linux is being used. Alpine Linux isn't GNU/Linux either.

urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 161d (2 replies)

Bro u r duuuuuuuumb (wanna kiss?)

meow@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 161d (1 reply)

Indeed, my love

InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 161d

😘

BlindFrog@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 162d (1 reply)

How do I know this isn't proganda from Big Christianity?

guess this chart makes me metheodist tho

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 162d

Well, I am Anglican...

ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 162d

Apparently I'm a non denominational evangelican btw

Norin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Where would you put Pop!_OS?

Also, there’s a wide spectrum of Lutherans and they often don’t get along.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 162d

Pop_OS! would be United Churches of Christ. Derived from Ubuntu, and generally accepted as reliable and easy for newbies.

NahMarcas@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 162d

Each AI content get us closer to facebook wishes

undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch · 3 pts · 163d (5 replies)

Spot on as a FreeBSD and macOS user but those are UNIX rather than Linux (though I use Alpine Linux pretty heavily too).

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 163d (4 replies)

FreeBSD and macOS user but those are UNIX rather than Linux

Yes, and the meme is which branch of christianity the OS is the equivalent of.

"Atheism" and "Spiritual but not religious" are not braches of christianity

1dalm@lemmings.world · 8 pts · 163d (3 replies)

“Atheism” and “Spiritual but not religious” are not braches of christianity

Is the joke really that complicated?

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 163d (2 replies)

I mean, he didn't get it, and to me that's one of the easier ones... Unless you mean the devil logo for free bsd

Also, yeah, the target audience knows the OSes better than the denominations, that's why we don't understand how they correlate.

Maybe write an explanation?

normis@infosec.pub · 4 pts · 163d (1 reply)

FreeBSD is not linux, so atheism in this case means that they do not pray to linux gods at all.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 162d

Right. FreeBSD having a devil logo was really just a coincidental bonus.

InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 163d (1 reply)

I was unaware that the CoC would be cool enough to have motorcyclists.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 163d

Depends on the CoC.

It's kinda a weird one in a lot of ways.

CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 161d

Interesting. I use Mint. I'm not a Methodist.

My wife on the other hand is a Methodist lay speaker so...

otacon239@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 163d

EndeavorOS: Taoism/Buddhism?

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 162d (7 replies)

What about Gnostics? I feel there is some severe underrepresentation for my favourite flavour of heretics.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 162d (5 replies)

Contemporary Gnostics would be Hanna Montana Linux.

_NetNomad@fedia.io · 7 pts · 162d (2 replies)

contemporary gnostics would accuse orthodox linuxians of using hannah montana linux, whilst they recognize her as the demiurge, the accidental creation of the fallen aeon of wisdom miley cyrus, who herself eminated from the ineffable monad billy ray cyrus and was redeemed back into the glory of the pleroma like a wrecking ball by the logos linus torvalds christos amen

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 4 pts · 162d

I love this. Thank you for writing it.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 3 pts · 162d

Amen.

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 161d (1 reply)

I'd love to see which heresies you think are which distro

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 161d

To stay consistent with the running joke of the meme, heresies would be forks that don't work and I wouldn't recommend for anyone to use.

Like WSL being prosperity gospel.

DaedalousIlios@pawb.social · 4 pts · 162d

That would be Linux from Scrarch, I think.

cmbabul@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Is CachyOS Unitarian Universalist? Or watching church on TV on Sunday morning?

deathbird@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 162d

I think NixOS might be Unitarian Universalist. Dreamed up in a doctoral thesis, seems neat, half a dozen ways to do anything (none of which are truly wrong), access to all the packages in the world, terrible documentation.

The_Lurker@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Running Fedora, was raised Presbyterian. 🤯

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 162d

It's immutable.

Your distro chose you.

Strider@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 162d

Tihi

cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 162d

ok but linux mint was my first distro and i did grow up methodist through my parents

Chonk@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 162d

Unfortunately I belong to Windows denomination

LordPassionFruit@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 162d (2 replies)

This just makes me feel like a heretic because it doesn't line up

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 162d (1 reply)

What's your distro and I'll reassign you.

LordPassionFruit@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 162d

Lol it's mostly a joke, no worries. I use OpenSUSE but got assigned Debian, which is completely fine

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 161d

I'll take being a calculator, it really did resolve my main issues with debian

jpablo68@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 162d (1 reply)

As a catholic I must agree with the chart

1dalm@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 162d

Happy Lent.

notthebees@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Also OP, ChromeOS is moving from Gentoo to android. What does that make it now?

Funnily enough, this leads to more android x86 development.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 162d

We'll have to wait until AluminumOS is actually released to place it on the chart.

My guess is that it becomes First Baptist in Dallas.

iopq@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 162d (2 replies)

Islam is Android

1dalm@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 162d (1 reply)

Android is very technically Linux. So it can't be Islam.

Islam is still an Abrahamic religion, but doesn't recognize Jesus as more than a prophet. So, NetBSD.

notthebees@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 162d

A bit more than a prophet as he did bring a book/message but pretty much this. Same rank (if you can call it that) as Abraham, Moses and Mohammad.

Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 162d (1 reply)

I guess I fall between Arch and openSUSE (so rolling release), that is what you get when you are born in a small country, all the way in the back waters, you make things work in anyway you can.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 162d

Backwater folk making things work the best they can.

I think that's a pretty good description of non-denom/Baptist churches. User checks out!

PointyFluff@lemmy.ml · -5 pts · 162d (2 replies)

OH yeah. Fucking christians. Get ALL THE WAY fucked with your awful abusive religion.

1dalm@lemmings.world · 8 pts · 162d

Ok.

mutter9355@discuss.tchncs.de · -2 pts · 162d

You know that Christianity is quite a broad religion right? Most Christians are pretty reasonable people.

And no, I'm not a Christian.