I really don't understand the obsession with everything cylindrical being a phallice. Like I don't look at my fingers and think "DICKS!!!¡!" and I love taking a warm glizzy down the back of my throat....
"I’ve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It’s funny to say they are small, it’s funny to say they are big. I’ve been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils and thermoses in front of themselves and called out, ‘Hey, look at me! I’m Mr. So-And-So Dick! I’ve got such-and-such for a penis!’ I never saw it fail to get a laugh."
That reminds me of the ancient Egyptian fertility god, Min.
You know how fertility gods are often attractive women, think Aphrodite and the like? That was a relatively recent invention, the ancient Egyptians had a black guy with a huge erection and a "flail":
Idk man I think the paleolithic predates ancient Egypt.
Most date from the Gravettian period (26,000–21,000 years ago).[1] However, findings are not limited to this period; for example, the Venus of Hohle Fels dates back at least 35,000 years to the Aurignacian era, and the Venus of Monruz dates back about 11,000 years to the Magdalenian, and the Catalhoyuk figurine[2], 8000 years old.
Prehistoric figurines like that I'm counting as inadmissible because we don't know what they were for. It's common to call them "Venuses" and something something fertility totems but nobody knows for sure what they're for or why they were made. They could have been anything from goddess totems to self-portraits to wank dolls.
Contrast that to portraits of Min on Egyptian temple walls where we have a pretty thorough understanding of their purpose.
I saw a video by Joe Scott in which he asked the question, what was the earliest depiction of a human face? Because it's a weirdly recent phenomenon; prehistoric cave paintings are full of animals and silhouettes of human hands, but rarely any humans at all and if so only as rudimentary stick figures, nowhere near as well drawn as the animals. There are extremely few depictions of human faces that predate the invention of writing. Those "Venus" statues are practically always headless or, like the one shown above, has an abstract nub where the head should be.
70 Comments
meme_historian@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 47 pts · 183d
Hold up...is that supposed to be Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks holding the tiddy dog's hand?
In what context does this even exist?? 😄
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 183d
Drugs are a hellva drug.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 182d
I mean... gestures broadly at Chicago
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 182d
After all, Alvin and the band's best work is from when they were on opiates.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 182d
Apparently it's from a restaurant in Chicago.
rslogix89@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 182d
ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world · 28 pts · 182d
nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 182d
Hey that's my aunt
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 182d
Pink Panther lookin’ his age in retirement.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 182d
The SNOC logo is my favorite part.
percent@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 182d
owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 32 pts · 183d
"Yeah, but what if we sexualized a hotdog the other way?"
StudChud@aussie.zone · 20 pts · 183d
That's just a normal hotdog then lol
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 12 pts · 182d
I really don't understand the obsession with everything cylindrical being a phallice. Like I don't look at my fingers and think "DICKS!!!¡!" and I love taking a warm glizzy down the back of my throat....
Yeah, nevermind. I get it.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 182d
Sometimes a cigar is just a representation of your desire to kill your father and fornicate with your mother.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 181d
"I’ve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It’s funny to say they are small, it’s funny to say they are big. I’ve been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils and thermoses in front of themselves and called out, ‘Hey, look at me! I’m Mr. So-And-So Dick! I’ve got such-and-such for a penis!’ I never saw it fail to get a laugh."
Yosmonkol@piefed.social · 2 pts · 182d
You'd get Sausage Party
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 182d
That reminds me of the ancient Egyptian fertility god, Min.
You know how fertility gods are often attractive women, think Aphrodite and the like? That was a relatively recent invention, the ancient Egyptians had a black guy with a huge erection and a "flail":
Dasus@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 182d
Idk man I think the paleolithic predates ancient Egypt.
Most date from the Gravettian period (26,000–21,000 years ago).[1] However, findings are not limited to this period; for example, the Venus of Hohle Fels dates back at least 35,000 years to the Aurignacian era, and the Venus of Monruz dates back about 11,000 years to the Magdalenian, and the Catalhoyuk figurine[2], 8000 years old.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_figurine
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 182d
Prehistoric figurines like that I'm counting as inadmissible because we don't know what they were for. It's common to call them "Venuses" and something something fertility totems but nobody knows for sure what they're for or why they were made. They could have been anything from goddess totems to self-portraits to wank dolls.
Contrast that to portraits of Min on Egyptian temple walls where we have a pretty thorough understanding of their purpose.
TwodogsFighting@lemdro.id · 1 pts · 181d
Let's face it. They were wank dolls. Prehistoric hustler.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 181d
I saw a video by Joe Scott in which he asked the question, what was the earliest depiction of a human face? Because it's a weirdly recent phenomenon; prehistoric cave paintings are full of animals and silhouettes of human hands, but rarely any humans at all and if so only as rudimentary stick figures, nowhere near as well drawn as the animals. There are extremely few depictions of human faces that predate the invention of writing. Those "Venus" statues are practically always headless or, like the one shown above, has an abstract nub where the head should be.
TwodogsFighting@lemdro.id · 1 pts · 181d
Have you a link to the video?
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 181d
https://youtu.be/9LCBqaVzvuY
Danarchy@lemmy.nz · 19 pts · 182d
Alvin is being a gentleman and not ogling her UNLIKE SOME PPL
RustyShackleford@piefed.social · 13 pts · 182d
Alvin is wearing eyeliner like a 70/80’s rock band.
anon_8675309@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 182d
Or a couch fucking VP.
RustyShackleford@piefed.social · 10 pts · 182d
Or that lol, god this timeline sucks.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 183d
Cows, pigs and chickens have udders, so it should be udders.
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 182d
Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 182d
You've never seen a chicken udder? How else do you think we get chicken milk?
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 182d
You wouldn't milk a chicken, would you?
Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 182d
You don't know my life.
Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social · 4 pts · 182d
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
CannedYeet@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 182d
Udder confusion
UnspecificGravity@piefed.social · 7 pts · 182d
Chickens do not have udders.
Marthirial@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 182d
not with that attitude.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 182d
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 10 pts · 182d
I want breast implants on my wiener.
mr_eckneim@feddit.org · 5 pts · 182d
rib it for pleasure
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 182d
Those are all naturals
ramble81@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 182d
Is that the inverse of shitting dick nipples?
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 182d
Look further down
Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 182d
The animated actor who played that hot dog later wound up as a superhero car in this role:
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 182d
Alvin and the Titdogs
darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 6 pts · 182d
Yet dinosaurs are never depicted with genitals. As if they didn't procreate.
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 182d
Do you really want to see a T-Rex running towards you with a huge erection? Because that's what will happen if these cloning companies have their way!
ICastFist@programming.dev · 5 pts · 182d
Life, uh, life finds a way
angrystego@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 181d
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 181d
That's a challenging wank
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 181d
No cloacas in Jurassic Park
wowwoweowza@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 181d
And a very wide stance.
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 181d
WELL HAAAWWWT DAWWG 👀👅🤩
slothrop@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 182d
It's taking a dump. Titties and scat.
Enkrod@feddit.org · 3 pts · 183d
And a wiener!
Stefan_S_from_H@piefed.zip · 3 pts · 182d
A simple misunderstanding. He ordered a hot bitch.
anon_8675309@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 182d
Microwave bubbles is all. Nothing to gawk at.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 182d
You are what your main ingredient is.
W3dd1e@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 182d
And a wiener.
CareHare@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 182d
And a bum, uh I meant bun
58008@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 182d
Nah that's its chin. Handsome Squidward-lookin' ass.
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 182d
Can I eat it?
dalekcaan@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 182d
How else can you tell it's a girl hotdog?
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 182d
the perfect woman
418_im_a_teapot@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 181d
And a wiener.
angrystego@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 181d
It IS supposed to be hot...
papalonian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 182d
That means she must gotta weiner vag
M0oP0o@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 182d
Looks more like they are mid wiener transition
marito@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 180d
Hotdog or hotbitch?
adaveinthelife@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 181d
Hotdogette