Sexual attractiveness also doesn’t mean sexual drive. One doesn’t need to be gay to understand that a man is sexually attractive in the way they find compelling. A desire to look good is all it takes.
Well yeah but specifically sexual attraction -- generic attraction can be anything that makes you want to spend time with a person but we're talking about sexual attraction here
I told a female friend of mine that Lou Diamond Philips was a handsome guy, and she said I have the worst taste in men's looks. That moment sometimes makes me question what an attractive guy is suppose to look like. Then I remember her boyfriend was a short, fat slob.
If she was thinking of him without facial hair, I'm with her. If she was thinking of him with facial hair and still not liking it, I'm with you. You'll have to ask and clarify for us next time you see her. The internet (me) needs to know if your friend has bad taste or not.
Hrmm. See, that's different too. I can't say I disagree with her though. He's, at best, only okay in that movie. They tried to do him up like a popstar, but it doesn't quite really work. Older Lou Diamond Phillips is way hotter.
No, they used female as an adjective when describing their friend. I agree it's unpleasant when people talk about "females" but that's not what happened here.
I used to say things like, "I'm straight but" whatever. This was about 30 years ago, and I just didn't know what to do with the idea of gay men, so I would occasionally say things to virtue signal that I was okay with it.
But it turns out that I was just overcompensating and dealing with a bit of "main character" complex. I really didn't need to say or do anything overt to be accepting of gay people.
I've only ever felt the need to say "I'm not gay" in situations where I thought I might be subject to negative consequences (like violence or getting fired) for being gay, or in situations where I was interested in women and didn't want to be mistaken for being gay. It's a combination of cowardice and loserdom.
a person that's hetreonormative going for some gay relationships depending on the person or situation, with people that are presenting broadly more close to the way a person opposite their gender is, contrasting to a person that feels they are part of the LGBT+ community that also cultivates straight relationships if the person they are going for a relationship with if they are presenting broadly more close to their own gender.
No preference vs preference. Then 5/1 is strong preference. 1 is where a lot of the "I'm straight but" turn out to be.
And yeah it's a simplification, but Kinsey was a pioneer of sexology that tried to nonjudgementally figure out the actual lived experiences of people's sexual orientation, and with that is going to come oversimplification
In my mind, I acknowledge that i only ever wanted to have sex with women. But i would be an idiot to make being straight part of my identity because if I would ever meet a man that I could and would love, I would just have made it more difficult for me to accept that and there is zero gain in identifying as straight. I don't think we need to identify our sexuality, we just need to be willing to accept ourselves and go with the flow.
Saying "I am 100% straight!" Seems to be a good way to have an identity crisis when you find someone attractive that doesn't make you feel straight enough to accept it.
I'm straight, but I appreciate a good looking dude.
In college we had a very nice looking dude that was part of the guy group. He single handedly increased the group's good looks and we were able to talk to more girls at parties.
Saying “I’m 100% straight but” sounds more like you’re afraid of what others might think about you as a person based on wether or not they approve of your sexuality.
In which case my condolences, and grow some spine.
Maybe we could just open up the field? Like you're with Dulce but will suck Brian when you're in the dog house. Or maybe Brian and you can play with Dulce and Jessica?
70 Comments
RedFrank24@piefed.social · 78 pts · 130d
I dunno... You can be straight and still consider someone of the same sex attractive, just not so attractive that you'd want to sleep with them.
I'm ace and I find both Tom Ellis and Jenna Coleman attractive, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them, or anyone really.
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 130d
Stupid question time: Does the fact that you're ace omit the gay/straight spectrum entirely, or would you still place yourself on it somewhere?
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 130d
Some aces have a position on the gay/straight spectrum.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 25 pts · 130d
Aesthetic attraction vs Sexual attraction.
You can find someone visually appealing without also finding them sexually appealing.
Slotos@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 130d
The two are not mutually exclusive.
Sexual attractiveness also doesn’t mean sexual drive. One doesn’t need to be gay to understand that a man is sexually attractive in the way they find compelling. A desire to look good is all it takes.
FoxyFerengi@startrek.website · 8 pts · 129d
Not having sexual attraction to any people doesn't preclude romantic attraction. I'm ace and panromantic. What OP described is aesthetic attraction
atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 129d
We used to call people who omitted the spectrum and were attracted to other people regardless pansexual.
you_are_dust@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 130d
Agree 100%. I think the guy in the comic got his award prematurely. The rest of the sentence after "but" matters.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 15 pts · 130d
"I'm 100% straight, but... I'd totally suck Paul off if he asked."
Frostbeard@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 130d
What does "ace" mean in this context?
TheImpressiveX@lemmy.today · 17 pts · 130d
Asexual, meaning they experience little to no sexual attraction.
FenrirIII@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 129d
So, if no one experiences sexual attraction to me, what does that make me? Anti-sexual? Axes, maybe?
qarbone@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 129d
No, FenrirIII, it just makes you ugly.
TherapyGary@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 129d
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 129d
creating a new sexual orientation based on whether people are attracted to you as an individual is like a whole new level of narcissism 😅
why no, I'm not a FenrirIII-sexual, but my friend is (she's a slut)
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 129d
Unlucky. But the good news is that you can change your luck (to a certain extent).
Gladaed@feddit.org · 6 pts · 130d
Tom Ellis is the Lucifer actor, for anyone wondering.
I agree with Coleman though, though I am most probably not ace.
MajorHavoc@programming.dev · 1 pts · 130d
HubertManne@piefed.social · 1 pts · 129d
I mean. women don't necessarily have to be more attrative than another to go sleep with them.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 129d
Well yeah but specifically sexual attraction -- generic attraction can be anything that makes you want to spend time with a person but we're talking about sexual attraction here
frog@feddit.uk · 39 pts · 130d
I told a female friend of mine that Lou Diamond Philips was a handsome guy, and she said I have the worst taste in men's looks. That moment sometimes makes me question what an attractive guy is suppose to look like. Then I remember her boyfriend was a short, fat slob.
tmyakal@infosec.pub · 14 pts · 130d
Lou Diamond Philips has always been hot. And he's aging like wine: every time I see him, he looks even better.
DaGeek247@fedia.io · 11 pts · 129d
If she was thinking of him without facial hair, I'm with her. If she was thinking of him with facial hair and still not liking it, I'm with you. You'll have to ask and clarify for us next time you see her. The internet (me) needs to know if your friend has bad taste or not.
frog@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 129d
I said in La Bamba. No facial hair. I guess she was right.
DaGeek247@fedia.io · 4 pts · 129d
Hrmm. See, that's different too. I can't say I disagree with her though. He's, at best, only okay in that movie. They tried to do him up like a popstar, but it doesn't quite really work. Older Lou Diamond Phillips is way hotter.
ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip · -1 pts · 129d
You just men and female'd
qarbone@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 129d
What?
ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 129d
They referred to men as men and women as females.
Deebster@infosec.pub · 20 pts · 129d
No, they used female as an adjective when describing their friend. I agree it's unpleasant when people talk about "females" but that's not what happened here.
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 129d
I actually think you're right on this one ✅
qarbone@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 129d
A lot of trouble comes from people's declining reading comprehension.
BillyClark@piefed.social · 25 pts · 130d
I used to say things like, "I'm straight but" whatever. This was about 30 years ago, and I just didn't know what to do with the idea of gay men, so I would occasionally say things to virtue signal that I was okay with it.
But it turns out that I was just overcompensating and dealing with a bit of "main character" complex. I really didn't need to say or do anything overt to be accepting of gay people.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 129d
Inversely, there's "I'm bi, but..." To point out shit that can just be platonic that people keep trying to romanticize.
Like, why can't I complement a friend on their good fashion sense without people assuming there's some attraction there? It's bullshit
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 129d
I've only ever felt the need to say "I'm not gay" in situations where I thought I might be subject to negative consequences (like violence or getting fired) for being gay, or in situations where I was interested in women and didn't want to be mistaken for being gay. It's a combination of cowardice and loserdom.
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 130d
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
The scale doesn't translate nicely to common speech.
I like "non zero"
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 129d
Scale seems like an oversimplification too, idk what's the difference between a three and a four?
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 129d
a person that's hetreonormative going for some gay relationships depending on the person or situation, with people that are presenting broadly more close to the way a person opposite their gender is, contrasting to a person that feels they are part of the LGBT+ community that also cultivates straight relationships if the person they are going for a relationship with if they are presenting broadly more close to their own gender.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 129d
No preference vs preference. Then 5/1 is strong preference. 1 is where a lot of the "I'm straight but" turn out to be.
And yeah it's a simplification, but Kinsey was a pioneer of sexology that tried to nonjudgementally figure out the actual lived experiences of people's sexual orientation, and with that is going to come oversimplification
maplesaga@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 130d
I'm 100% straight but, Ryan Gosling can big spoon me and I would be okay with that.
HubertManne@piefed.social · 6 pts · 129d
Im 100% straight. On land.
maplesaga@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 129d
I don't get the reference, but it seems very wise.
HubertManne@piefed.social · 1 pts · 129d
its kinda a nod to a simpsons episode where the peg legged captian says he doesn't do that and follows up. on land.
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 130d
melfie@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 129d
This movie gets horrible reviews, but I always found it hilarious.
SleeplessCityLights@programming.dev · 3 pts · 129d
That is why it is a "cult classic"
SleeplessCityLights@programming.dev · 4 pts · 130d
I wish I could upvoye you more
ScrambledEggs@lazysoci.al · 4 pts · 130d
I'll upvote for you
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 129d
I'll also give them my upvote (I don't get the reference or why I'm upvoting, but I'll do it for you, @SleeplessCityLights@programming.dev!)
romanticremedy@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 129d
Seems like some of u have hard time differentiating
Crassus@feddit.nl · 13 pts · 129d
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 129d
Pretty sure 4.20 bucks is less than 20 bucks
turbowafflz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 128d
inflation happened between the beginning of the sentence and the end
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de · 12 pts · 129d
In my mind, I acknowledge that i only ever wanted to have sex with women. But i would be an idiot to make being straight part of my identity because if I would ever meet a man that I could and would love, I would just have made it more difficult for me to accept that and there is zero gain in identifying as straight. I don't think we need to identify our sexuality, we just need to be willing to accept ourselves and go with the flow.
Saying "I am 100% straight!" Seems to be a good way to have an identity crisis when you find someone attractive that doesn't make you feel straight enough to accept it.
joelfromaus@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 129d
I think guys should be able to compliment and appreciate each other without assuming they’re closeted.
fennesz12@feddit.dk · 2 pts · 128d
God that's such a sexy comment
jaschen306@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 129d
I'm straight, but I appreciate a good looking dude.
In college we had a very nice looking dude that was part of the guy group. He single handedly increased the group's good looks and we were able to talk to more girls at parties.
FiskFisk33@startrek.website · 2 pts · 128d
He did the thing!
jaschen306@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 128d
Damn it!
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 5 pts · 129d
Saying “I’m 100% straight but” sounds more like you’re afraid of what others might think about you as a person based on wether or not they approve of your sexuality.
In which case my condolences, and grow some spine.
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 128d
It can be used as a qualifier. "I'm straight but nice cock" is meant to convey a stronger appreciation of the cock.
GraniteM@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 128d
I'm married to a beautiful woman that I love but...
...I'm not like, one hundred percent straight.
lepinkainen@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 128d
If you’re secure in your heterosexuality, you can be a bit gay sometimes 😎
abbadon420@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 128d
Thatś not a fair argument, you're playing with loaded dice!
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 129d
The beige background made me think it was AI at first glance.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 129d
Same, but there's too many details and too much character for it to be AI
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 129d
Yeah, it was immediately obvious it wasn't when I looked at the full sized comic rather than the thumbnail.
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 129d
it reminds me of cardboard
bold_omi@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 122d
Post with credits or not at all.
nsrxn@mstdn.social · -1 pts · 122d
it's you don't like the post, use the voting buttons. if you don't like the user, block them.
Sunsofold@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 127d
Hunh... Moustache but no beard? That look always suggest to me that they're more into boys than men.
altphoto@lemmy.today · 0 pts · 129d
Maybe we could just open up the field? Like you're with Dulce but will suck Brian when you're in the dog house. Or maybe Brian and you can play with Dulce and Jessica?
No judgment from my part.