I first saw this used by Hugh Hefner in some reality TV show with some of his bimbos in Venice. One of them said how cool it was to be where Al Capone was born and he responded with, "You're so pretty." Of course, she absolutely took the compliment at face value.
Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say "eyebrows" in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you.
They will think about that for years, as I have been
There’s a great artist that sells stuff at our local ren-faire; I bought a fridge magnet that says “I saw thee, and thought my day unwell.” It’s illuminated like an old manuscript and depicts a slim greyhound tossing his cookies.
"You are not acting like the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be."
Guaranteed to slug the inner child of, at least, three or four generations. Might have diminishing returns at the extremes (brainwashed boomers and brainrot zoomers) but should still hit pretty hard on those who grew up watching Fred Rogers and are capable of some amount of introspection.
75 Comments
nirodhaavidya@lemmy.world · 65 pts · 109d
I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.
chirayu_alias@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 108d
Stealing this
Today@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 109d
I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I've been using that for people who are completely useless.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 10 pts · 109d
I've also heard "wind sandwich."
ashenone@lemmy.ml · 42 pts · 109d
I work with an older lady who hits people with "you're so pretty" when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.
GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca · 15 pts · 109d
I first saw this used by Hugh Hefner in some reality TV show with some of his bimbos in Venice. One of them said how cool it was to be where Al Capone was born and he responded with, "You're so pretty." Of course, she absolutely took the compliment at face value.
pastermil@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 109d
Lmao, it did took a while for me to register
rslogix89@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 109d
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 108d
What does this even mean
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 108d
"Your mom is a hoe and your dad is an alcoholic."
::: spoiler Explanation Hamsters have a lot of random sex and elderberries can be fermented into wine. :::
(You DO need Fr*nch accent to make this insult work tho)
pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 107d
It means their quest to seek the Holy Grail is likely doomed. And besides, we've already got one.
dantheclamman@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 108d
Beat me to it
Forester@pawb.social · 27 pts · 109d
I can read it to you all day but unfortunately I cannot understand it for you.
Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 109d
The classic southern "Bless your heart"
TheFunkyMonk@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 109d
Big fan of a slow disapproving head shake and a thumbs down. Especially in road rage situations (or any time I see a Cybertruck).
khannie@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 108d
I only recently discovered the power of the thumbs down in the car. It is magical.
FritzApollo@lemmy.today · 18 pts · 109d
I bet you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
yogthos@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 108d
I love how you don't let facts influence your opinion.
4am@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 109d
I have to thank the one and only James May for introducing me to “you witless dishcloth”
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 108d
My favorite of his was "apocalyptic dingleberry."
Aralakh@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 108d
Hello.
daannii@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 109d
"Sorry, I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend."
Implying that everything they said or had done was to get your romantic attention.
It was trending a few years ago but never caught on fully.
Still good.
pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 107d
I like to use this when handed a form that asks "Sex?". Lol.
daannii@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 107d
Nice
ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 108d
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
blackbrook@mander.xyz · 14 pts · 109d
Did your mother have any children that lived?
Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio · 3 pts · 109d
I bet she regrets that!
vrek@programming.dev · 14 pts · 109d
I blame the alcohol, not what you drank tonight but what your mother drank while pregnant with you
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 109d
You're about as smart as a bag of hammers.
chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 108d
As sharp as a bowling ball.
buttmasterflex@piefed.social · 2 pts · 108d
As cool as the breeze from a camel's behind.
FrickAndMortar@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 108d
Or like Foghorn Leghorn said, “nice kid, but about as sharp as a sackful of wet mice!”
TootSweet@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 109d
Just respond to everything they say with "sorry, I'm not into Pokemon."
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 109d
If all the village-idiots of all the villages in the world, would leave for a brand new village of village-idiots, you'd be their village-idiot.
If idiot does not count as "swear" tho...
prex@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 108d
Lano & woodley ftw.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 108d
Oh I didn't even know where it was from, I just heard that somewhere and it got stuck :) But good to know, will check them!
Athena5898@lemmy.ml · 13 pts · 108d
"If she was a spice, she would be flour" - Louise Belcher
funkajunk@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 109d
You look easy to draw
yogthos@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 108d
You look like you were painted by Picasso.
BROTHERM00N@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 108d
Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say "eyebrows" in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you. They will think about that for years, as I have been
tgc2darkness@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 108d
No one could possibly have a higher opinion of you than I have.
decended_being@midwest.social · 1 pts · 108d
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 11 pts · 109d
They’re a south-pointing compass (if they assert something, you know it’s wrong)
osanna@lemmy.vg · 10 pts · 108d
A few beers short of a six pack
lordnikon@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 109d
You make this world not worth saving.
MantisToboggon@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 109d
I would not make you the night manager at a place that closed in the evening. Also your mother's a huge slut.
lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 109d
I love this one from Coriolanus:
For you, be that you are, long, and your misery increase with your age!
FrickAndMortar@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 108d
There’s a great artist that sells stuff at our local ren-faire; I bought a fridge magnet that says “I saw thee, and thought my day unwell.” It’s illuminated like an old manuscript and depicts a slim greyhound tossing his cookies.
_deleted_@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 109d
AntiOutsideAktion@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 108d
The truth. The reason you'd want to insult them as a direct pointed criticism.
khannie@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 108d
Your ma wears high heels with tracksuit bottoms.
chirayu_alias@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 108d
"You look so generic I got a deja vu the first time we met."
I keep recycling this one but it's hard not to. I have so few good ideas!
__hetz@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 107d
"You are not acting like the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be."
Guaranteed to slug the inner child of, at least, three or four generations. Might have diminishing returns at the extremes (brainwashed boomers and brainrot zoomers) but should still hit pretty hard on those who grew up watching Fred Rogers and are capable of some amount of introspection.
Today@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 108d
From my friend - You're the load your mom should have swallowed.
Leather@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 107d
... Do the down votes prefer anal?
SelfHigh5@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 108d
Have the day you deserve!
NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 107d
You look like you trust politicians/newspapers/AI
You think that streamer likes you
Your brain could revolve around inside a peanut shell without ever touching the sides
You have a head full of vacuous nothings that occasionally leak out of your mouth
(To name a few that I enjoy)
SadSadSatellite@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 109d
You're lucky your momma died giving birth to you. If she saw you now, she would've died of shame.
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 108d
Thick as mince
BreadOven@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 107d
I bite my thumb at you.
pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 107d
YES.
Pazuzu@midwest.social · 3 pts · 107d
"you're the sharpest bulb in the chandelier" is my personal favorite
helix@feddit.org · 3 pts · 108d
"You're irrelevant to me."
wuphysics87@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 108d
He only has two tools and they are both screwdrivers
TruePe4rl@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 107d
Replace screwdrivers with hammers and you get a description of Jeremy Clarkson.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 107d
You don't have the sense God gave a popsicle
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 108d
You two make quite the wit.
Bwaz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 108d
A waste of space
altphoto@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 108d
Donkey meat is not transparent, get out of the way! I'm watching!
martini1992@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 106d
You've got more teeth than braincells
You haven't got two braincells to rub together
Father_Redbeard@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 106d
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.
DeadNinja@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 108d
You should be paying for the Oxygen. Yes, that Oxygen.
LiamTheBox@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 108d
Too offensive for lemmy.ml
calmblue75@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 108d
Removed is the best one.
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 105d
You are amazing, all the self control of Donald Trump with the charismatic charm of Mark Zuckerburg.
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 0 pts · 109d
Yoghurt cock