Installed a bidet this weekend.

I installed one 3 or 4 years ago. I went with the nozzle on a hose type.

Congrats on the clean starfish.

the warm water is the only necessity. I've used those cold water bidets at midnight in winter in Minnesota. The shriek woke up the entire damn hostel.

I also warn people all the time about bidets: You instantly and irreversibly get addicted hooked after first use.

I bought a 35€ one that is just a jet of cold water you have to aim yourself. I don't find the coldness to be an issue at all. And now I essentially don't need to wipe anymore.

so jelly. I have wanted one forever. what did you end up getting? When I was doing better I was intent on doing it but sorta had decision paralysis.

Don’t leave us in the dark! What model did you get?!

Whenever I travel now it suuuuucks. I bring baby wipes (and don’t flush them), but nothing can match my geyser throne.

Worthy upgrade. There's some good YouTube comparisons too. I'm kinda surprised that Lowes and HD don't carry more brands in stock, seems mine an untapped part of the market.

Nothing like a sparkling clean asshole you could eat off of.

I don't think I can ever go back to not having one

I got mine from Costco. Was like $99. Worth every penny!

but it's got warm water

A person of high standards! A fine luxury indeed!

OP is right on the money.

I had read plenty of stuff about bidets but it always seemed weird to have a machine shoot water up my ass. Then I bought a house that came with a nice one. I was converted almost instantly.

Now traveling sucks because no hotels or public bathrooms have them, and there's nothing quite like the feeling of being actually clean.

Good choice. I've been using mine for much longer and have converted a few visitors as well.

Now, for maximum comfort during the evacuation process, the next step is a full squat platform (lilipad good, squatty potty bad). The advantages of the platform are subtle but measurable. Ideally you want one that sits below the knobs of the bidet, so it is more likely you'll want to DIY.

I miss having a bidet so much. You don't know what youre missing until you do

Welcome to the club!

What an interesting coincidence to run into that I'm currently sitting on my Brondell bidet while I write this comment.

Did you make the tradition high pitched "ooooh!" The first time you used it?

Seems weird.

I've never seen an actual bidet, but these bidet showers are in literally every toilet in Finland, including gas station public bathrooms.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet_shower

bidet shower (also known as a handheld bidet, commode shower, toilet shower, health faucet, bum shower, bidet spray, jet spray, hand shower, shaṭafa (from the Arabic: شَطَّافَة [ʃɑtˤˈtˤɑːfɑ], "hand shower rinser"), Muslim shower (common in Pakistan) or bum gun), pillupuhelin (from Finnish pillu, "vagina" and puhelin, "telephone") is a hand-held triggered nozzle that is placed near the toilet and delivers a spray of water used for anal cleansing and cleaning of the genitals after using the toilet for defecation and urination. The device is similar to that of a kitchen sink sprayer.

Yard sprinklers are the poor man’s bidet in Alabama. Just make sure nobody’s home when you do it 😂

I'm sure that if they could, the bald eagles would thank you.

Very important SAFETY warning for those considering bidets: Please look into backflow prevention. If you haven’t set up adequate backflow prevention, the shit can get into the water pipe and contaminate the water that comes out of all the taps on the property. The health risks of this are harrowing for healthy people, not just those more vulnerable.