This poster is just about sharing divisive bullshit. None of it's real all of its propaganda designed to get people riled up and mad at each other along class lines. Check their post history it's all bullshit. It's like top down meme though control
So let me share my experience to balance it out: in my village there is a tiny building by the road that used to be a gas station in the 50s/60s.
Today the main road has been diverted so only local traffic is passing by and the station has been closed for decades.
10 years ago a group of people decided to transform the building, they got money from the town for paint and changing the window and now it's like a little free library but for books, toys and clothes. The whole village is using it.
A lot of it is kid clothing, it's always open without anyone to supervise it and people are respectful, it stays clean and people don't storm the place to resell what they can.
This sounds delightful and like a place that isn't still paying the cost of slavery. Occasionally in areas that are rural enough there will be farm stands where folks pay for items on an honor system. But it's gotta be pretty far away from the cities. Your town sounds like a place where people respect a basic dignity of folks and we need more of it
I'd like to bring attention to the child in this scenario.
How pissed would you be if your neighbor just gave your mom the most kick ass set of Jordan's youve ever seen, the entire class will be jealous of them
and your mom sells it to buy wheat thins.
You as a child would not understand the need for groceries. all you know is that your mom gave away your one chance at fitting in for wheat thins.
Who would buy "the most kick ass set of Jordans you've ever seen" for a boy who is still growing so fast they outgrow the shoes while they're barely worn?
She's trying to resale a spur of the moment gift. She doesn't sound like someone who's got things together. Wouldn't the socially acceptable thing to do would be to decline the gift or accept the shoes and regift them / donate them? Idk the response, "let me get cash for those." isn't a great look. That's why the lady snatched them back.
You ever read that Christmas story about the poor couple that sells things that are important to them to get something nice for the other?
Now imagine selling a random gift to get money to use on commodities like food, rent, or utilities.
We can't know what that person needed the money for. While overall I agree with the reaction of the poster, I can get off my high horse long enough to acknowledge we don't know the whole situation or the economic position of the family.
Maybe she would buy smokes, maybe she'd pay rent. We don't know.
As an anecdote from my childhood, we were poor. My parents often spent what little they had to get nice things for me and my sister. It came at a detriment to our home. We had much of what we wanted, but we lacked what we needed. As an adult now I would invest in the environment first.
an important part of the story above is her saying that she intends to sell those immediately
if i got a very expensive gift when i needed money i'd first yk, think about it a bit. most likely i'd feel guilty selling said gift, and i 100% would not brag about it to the person who gave it to me
I'm not arguing the status of the recevier. I'm questioning someone who's response to a gift is immediately the monetary outcome. Your example was them selling things that were important to them. This person had not even full received the gift and to the face of the person giving the gift, sad something so socially unacceptable the gift was taken back. Do you think the gift would have been taken back if the giver thought the gift would provide a much needed meal? The tone of the tweet would leave anyone to thing the giver didn't hold a high opion of the other woman if she was willing to take them back.
Of course they do, they are designed to be that way - they are super cheap and sell you a chance for a better life. They are made to exploit people that are permanently stuck in poverty hell and hope is the only thing left.
Once again, blaming the victims and not the oppressor.
When did I blame the victim? Why even frame it that way?
I grew up poor and around poor people in poor neighborhoods. It’s what the poor do. You wanna argue about improving their lot, sure, but half the mothers in my neighborhood would sell anything they could for a hit of hope or faux luxury. My own mother stole from me.
Lots of local subreddits have questions like this:
Where can I give my stuff away to some organization or person who will value this stuff more than me who is giving it away ?
Just let your old stuff go. If you want to take profit, take it. If you want to give profit, give it. But trying to do both is a waste of time and an insult.
You also shouldn't try to control your kindness. If you are giving it away because you hope someone else will find use from it... Then that is the end of your need to control it. They can sell it and use the money to buy shoes and or other things they need or want.
The point is that OP wanted to be kind in a specific way and would rather enrich themselves if it couldn't be met. Thats not kindness.
I always struggle with this during garage sales. Most of the time, I don't even want money for my stuff. I just want it to go to someone who needs it.
But if you put a FREE sign on anything, people will just scoop it up, throw it in a truck already loaded with other free stuff, and take it to the flea market to sell.
It shouldn't bother me, since the people selling stuff at the flea market usually are pretty poor themselves and probably need to make money. But it just irks me that instead of a mom getting free clothes for her kids, that mom would instead have to buy them at a markup instead.
there is a solution for that - vibe checks! if that person in front of you seems kind and like they actually need what you're selling - give it to them for free. but if they're just looking for deals to resell, keep the prices
This is the kind of means-testing governments do for benefits, right? Or is it more like social profiling?
You can sell what you want, but when you start to put rules in place it gets icky quite fast.
It irked me the year my neighbors girlfriend got free bikes from the tommy toy fund for her two kids, pregnant with her third. She tried to sell the bikes on FB market place, and the nighbors roommate called her out on it. Idk if she sold them or not but it did upset me when it was happening, to take from your kids like that.
Years later I realized, theyre just poor. She didnt finish High School, came from poverty and sometimes you do not so moral shit to pay your bills. The boyfriend worked at walmart, similar background as his girl, and they probably were trying their best. I cant be mad their parents didnt instill the importance of education, this young couple were just trying to get by. If she wasnt desperate, she would have kept the bikes for her children Id bet.
A very different person, a person of poverty for their whole life said to me once, "you gotta take what you can get". While they used it as a way to excuse non ethical ways of living, which I didnt agree with, the years have shown me how folks can take this and run with the line of thinking. "Poverty Brain" I call it. Its more sad than infuriating now.
Our society is not built for everyone, and if thats not the human goal, I dont understand why we're here.
When I was homless a friend gave me a really nice, large heavy blanket that came from her well off mothers house. It was the nicest blanket I ever owned. It got stolen from a laundry mat. I was SO upset, but even then, just hoped, that person needed the blanket more than I did.
nah this easily could've happened. i once had a neighbour of mine 1. ask me if that old basket in the corner of the hallway serving as a bin for spam mail was mine because she wanted to take it 2. ask me to sell her my flat?? in the same 3min conversation? so clearly she could very easily afford her own old basket but no, taking the communal one would be cheaper
I never got the idea that the mom who was to receive the shoes is poor. She lives next door not in another neighbourhood. The only thing was that her son was younger and would maybe like to receive a cool hand me down.
Outside of suburban hell people of vastly different economic situations generally live right near each other.
For instance, next door from me are two dudes who couldn't afford a fridge for the first couple months they lived here, they work and study, the next neighbor owns the entire building and his own contracting company.
There person in the story could truly be suffering, but it's sold as "lol Karen got owned".
Then they should be happy that someone else gave a present to their son so they don’t need to buy shoes for them, not talking about selling a present designated for their child…
If you don’t want to accept a present for your child because you think it’s bad then you say that. When a person offers a gift to your child and your immediate response is that you plan on selling it that makes you a dick
Also how is this family both so poor that they need to sell the shoes for groceries but also so selective where they don’t want a practically new pair of popular mainstream shoes
I would probably explain my financial bind and need and ask if it's ok. Both my parents were a little... mean... but one thing they retained from both sets of grands and greats was, once you give a gift, it's not yours anymore, and you have zero right to dictate how the recipient utilizes it.
To me, this is just a weird take, like means-testing, and if you make too much or sell food benefits to buy Ziploc or bus fare to work, they penalize you.
They would have said something more like “oh, maybe I can sell these and get two pairs of to last longer.” or “wow, I can sell these and buy some groceries and a pair of .”
82 Comments
justaman123@lemmy.world · 123 pts · 47d
This poster is just about sharing divisive bullshit. None of it's real all of its propaganda designed to get people riled up and mad at each other along class lines. Check their post history it's all bullshit. It's like top down meme though control
BastingChemina@slrpnk.net · 50 pts · 46d
Thank you for the warning.
So let me share my experience to balance it out: in my village there is a tiny building by the road that used to be a gas station in the 50s/60s.
Today the main road has been diverted so only local traffic is passing by and the station has been closed for decades.
10 years ago a group of people decided to transform the building, they got money from the town for paint and changing the window and now it's like a little free library but for books, toys and clothes. The whole village is using it.
A lot of it is kid clothing, it's always open without anyone to supervise it and people are respectful, it stays clean and people don't storm the place to resell what they can.
syaochan@feddit.it · 12 pts · 46d
How can I apply for citizenship?
justaman123@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 46d
This sounds delightful and like a place that isn't still paying the cost of slavery. Occasionally in areas that are rural enough there will be farm stands where folks pay for items on an honor system. But it's gotta be pretty far away from the cities. Your town sounds like a place where people respect a basic dignity of folks and we need more of it
SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 47d
Something tells me it's a bot that reposts popular Reddit memes.
justaman123@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 46d
Ok, private
ddplf@szmer.info · -2 pts · 47d
Good, class war is exactly what we should be absolutely be riled up on right now.
Rothe@piefed.social · 27 pts · 46d
The meme does the opposite though. It riles you up against your neighbour and not the oligarchs who created the shitty situation in the first place.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 75 pts · 47d
Should've just given them directly to the son to wear immediately so he can enjoy them.
Turret3857@infosec.pub · 61 pts · 47d
I'd like to bring attention to the child in this scenario.
How pissed would you be if your neighbor just gave your mom the most kick ass set of Jordan's youve ever seen, the entire class will be jealous of them
and your mom sells it to buy wheat thins.
You as a child would not understand the need for groceries. all you know is that your mom gave away your one chance at fitting in for wheat thins.
jack_of_sandwich@lemmy.sdf.org · -3 pts · 46d
Who would buy "the most kick ass set of Jordans you've ever seen" for a boy who is still growing so fast they outgrow the shoes while they're barely worn?
Turret3857@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 46d
a parent with the means who wants their child to enjoy their childhood ? wtf kind of question is that?
NatakuNox@lemmy.world · -19 pts · 47d
Wheat Thins? Probably a pack a cigarettes and a scratch lotto ticket.
nieminen@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 47d
Don't be an ass.
NatakuNox@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 47d
She's trying to resale a spur of the moment gift. She doesn't sound like someone who's got things together. Wouldn't the socially acceptable thing to do would be to decline the gift or accept the shoes and regift them / donate them? Idk the response, "let me get cash for those." isn't a great look. That's why the lady snatched them back.
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 46d
You ever read that Christmas story about the poor couple that sells things that are important to them to get something nice for the other?
Now imagine selling a random gift to get money to use on commodities like food, rent, or utilities.
We can't know what that person needed the money for. While overall I agree with the reaction of the poster, I can get off my high horse long enough to acknowledge we don't know the whole situation or the economic position of the family.
Maybe she would buy smokes, maybe she'd pay rent. We don't know.
As an anecdote from my childhood, we were poor. My parents often spent what little they had to get nice things for me and my sister. It came at a detriment to our home. We had much of what we wanted, but we lacked what we needed. As an adult now I would invest in the environment first.
PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 46d
The story is O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi"
It's a short one, if you haven't read it yet.
shneancy@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 46d
an important part of the story above is her saying that she intends to sell those immediately
if i got a very expensive gift when i needed money i'd first yk, think about it a bit. most likely i'd feel guilty selling said gift, and i 100% would not brag about it to the person who gave it to me
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 46d
It's either greed or desperation. We don't have the information to know which
NatakuNox@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 46d
I'm not arguing the status of the recevier. I'm questioning someone who's response to a gift is immediately the monetary outcome. Your example was them selling things that were important to them. This person had not even full received the gift and to the face of the person giving the gift, sad something so socially unacceptable the gift was taken back. Do you think the gift would have been taken back if the giver thought the gift would provide a much needed meal? The tone of the tweet would leave anyone to thing the giver didn't hold a high opion of the other woman if she was willing to take them back.
MrSpArkle@lemmy.ca · -2 pts · 47d
Eh, I’ve lived in plenty of poor neighborhoods. The lotto tickets basically coat the gas station parking lot like a paper mache.
ddplf@szmer.info · 17 pts · 47d
Of course they do, they are designed to be that way - they are super cheap and sell you a chance for a better life. They are made to exploit people that are permanently stuck in poverty hell and hope is the only thing left.
Once again, blaming the victims and not the oppressor.
MrSpArkle@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 46d
When did I blame the victim? Why even frame it that way?
I grew up poor and around poor people in poor neighborhoods. It’s what the poor do. You wanna argue about improving their lot, sure, but half the mothers in my neighborhood would sell anything they could for a hit of hope or faux luxury. My own mother stole from me.
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works · -10 pts · 47d
He's not being an ass you are. He's being realistic to the situation. Just cause you don't like it doesn't mean you need to call people an ass.
ddplf@szmer.info · 15 pts · 47d
POOR PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE POOR IF THEY WEREN'T STUPID, LAZY AND ALCOHOLIC, AMIRITE??? STUPID DUMB POOR PEOPLE
Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 46d
My parents were firmly middle class, divorced though.
My mom would absolutely do something like this to be able to buy herself something nice instead.
nieminen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 45d
That's a bummer, sorry. Not every mom is your mom though.
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com · 23 pts · 47d
Lots of local subreddits have questions like this:
Where can I give my stuff away to some organization or person who will value this stuff more than me who is giving it away ?
Just let your old stuff go. If you want to take profit, take it. If you want to give profit, give it. But trying to do both is a waste of time and an insult.
Drusas@fedia.io · 30 pts · 47d
I think you missed the point. The point isn't that OP wants to make money.
Krauerking@lemy.lol · 13 pts · 47d
You also shouldn't try to control your kindness. If you are giving it away because you hope someone else will find use from it... Then that is the end of your need to control it. They can sell it and use the money to buy shoes and or other things they need or want.
The point is that OP wanted to be kind in a specific way and would rather enrich themselves if it couldn't be met. Thats not kindness.
napkin2020@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 46d
I give you a gift; you can do whatever you want. Go home and fuck it or whatever. It's obvious I have no say in it.
But selling a gift outright right away is insulting. It's common courtesy, then, to at least hide the fact that you're going to.
Saying "Oh, I'm selling this" right to my face feels like a giant fuck you to me.
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 47d
I always struggle with this during garage sales. Most of the time, I don't even want money for my stuff. I just want it to go to someone who needs it.
But if you put a FREE sign on anything, people will just scoop it up, throw it in a truck already loaded with other free stuff, and take it to the flea market to sell.
It shouldn't bother me, since the people selling stuff at the flea market usually are pretty poor themselves and probably need to make money. But it just irks me that instead of a mom getting free clothes for her kids, that mom would instead have to buy them at a markup instead.
shneancy@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 46d
there is a solution for that - vibe checks! if that person in front of you seems kind and like they actually need what you're selling - give it to them for free. but if they're just looking for deals to resell, keep the prices
moopet@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 46d
This is the kind of means-testing governments do for benefits, right? Or is it more like social profiling? You can sell what you want, but when you start to put rules in place it gets icky quite fast.
shneancy@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 46d
i'm not recommending this method to governments though, am i?
i recommend it for people who do garage sales once every few years who feel bad charging people for what they don't need
Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 46d
It irked me the year my neighbors girlfriend got free bikes from the tommy toy fund for her two kids, pregnant with her third. She tried to sell the bikes on FB market place, and the nighbors roommate called her out on it. Idk if she sold them or not but it did upset me when it was happening, to take from your kids like that.
Years later I realized, theyre just poor. She didnt finish High School, came from poverty and sometimes you do not so moral shit to pay your bills. The boyfriend worked at walmart, similar background as his girl, and they probably were trying their best. I cant be mad their parents didnt instill the importance of education, this young couple were just trying to get by. If she wasnt desperate, she would have kept the bikes for her children Id bet.
A very different person, a person of poverty for their whole life said to me once, "you gotta take what you can get". While they used it as a way to excuse non ethical ways of living, which I didnt agree with, the years have shown me how folks can take this and run with the line of thinking. "Poverty Brain" I call it. Its more sad than infuriating now.
Our society is not built for everyone, and if thats not the human goal, I dont understand why we're here.
When I was homless a friend gave me a really nice, large heavy blanket that came from her well off mothers house. It was the nicest blanket I ever owned. It got stolen from a laundry mat. I was SO upset, but even then, just hoped, that person needed the blanket more than I did.
Folstar@lemmus.org · 11 pts · 47d
Then everyone clapped. Those lousy poors, not understanding the value of expensive footwear. So undignified.
shneancy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 46d
nah this easily could've happened. i once had a neighbour of mine 1. ask me if that old basket in the corner of the hallway serving as a bin for spam mail was mine because she wanted to take it 2. ask me to sell her my flat?? in the same 3min conversation? so clearly she could very easily afford her own old basket but no, taking the communal one would be cheaper
a lot of rich people get rich by being scumbags
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 47d
I never got the idea that the mom who was to receive the shoes is poor. She lives next door not in another neighbourhood. The only thing was that her son was younger and would maybe like to receive a cool hand me down.
Leviathan@fedinsfw.app · 3 pts · 46d
Outside of suburban hell people of vastly different economic situations generally live right near each other.
For instance, next door from me are two dudes who couldn't afford a fridge for the first couple months they lived here, they work and study, the next neighbor owns the entire building and his own contracting company.
There person in the story could truly be suffering, but it's sold as "lol Karen got owned".
bss03@infosec.pub · -1 pts · 46d
Conditional "kindness" isn't kindness, it's infantilization.
Real "kindness" is giving people what you can, and trusting them to use it the best they can. No means or ways testing.
This is one reason direct cash transfers are so effective, because cash is no versatile.
wrinkledoo@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 46d
But being helpful is very much conditional on the understood premise of the situation.
I'd be happy to help a buddy move house for a pack of beers.
Not so much if they are selling the furniture and using me for free labor.
bss03@infosec.pub · -6 pts · 46d
That's not being kind. That's being transactional.
winkledinkle@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 46d
Maeve@kbin.earth · -21 pts · 47d
Maybe the neighbor couldn't afford groceries.
BussyCat@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 47d
Then they should be happy that someone else gave a present to their son so they don’t need to buy shoes for them, not talking about selling a present designated for their child…
Maeve@kbin.earth · -13 pts · 47d
https://www.mymosh.com/orthopedics/foot-problems-caused-by-shoes/
Maeve@kbin.earth · -14 pts · 47d
Better:
https://beyond-podiatry.com/back-to-school-shoe-shopping-podiatrist-approved-tips-for-growing-feet/
BussyCat@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 47d
If you don’t want to accept a present for your child because you think it’s bad then you say that. When a person offers a gift to your child and your immediate response is that you plan on selling it that makes you a dick
Also how is this family both so poor that they need to sell the shoes for groceries but also so selective where they don’t want a practically new pair of popular mainstream shoes
athatet@lemmy.zip · 27 pts · 47d
Maybe the OP couldn’t afford groceries.
Maybe they’re all dinosaurs.
We can make stuff up all day long.
Maeve@kbin.earth · -1 pts · 47d
ToastedRavioli@midwest.social · 15 pts · 47d
Maybe the moon was her car, and Jupiter was her hairbrush
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 47d
Is that how you get drops of Jupiter in your hair? I'd been trying to figure it out for years.
Maeve@kbin.earth · -7 pts · 47d
You know, you don't even have to believe in a deity to know that, "as you judge, so shall you be judged."
Have you ever felt unfairly judged by anyone?
jim_v@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 47d
The Duolingo owl.
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online · -74 pts · 47d
People are so obsessed with controlling how gifts are used, it's wild.
fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 111 pts · 47d
The gift was for the kid not the parent.
Krankenwagen@lemmy.world · -37 pts · 47d
Maybe the parent wanted to sell the shoes to buy their kid a new, better fitting pair even if they were less expensive?
velma@sh.itjust.works · 82 pts · 47d
It would still be rude to say "I'm going to make money off of this" to the gifter's face.
There's such a thing as being gracious.
Maeve@kbin.earth · -11 pts · 47d
I would probably explain my financial bind and need and ask if it's ok. Both my parents were a little... mean... but one thing they retained from both sets of grands and greats was, once you give a gift, it's not yours anymore, and you have zero right to dictate how the recipient utilizes it.
To me, this is just a weird take, like means-testing, and if you make too much or sell food benefits to buy Ziploc or bus fare to work, they penalize you.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 47d
See, I would view this as a gracious way of accepting the gift.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 0 pts · 47d
Yes but even so, a gift once given is none of my business. But I'm well aware I think differently than most people.
Eta: because a lot of people are shamed into hiding genuine need.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 47d
The scenario is during the act of giving the gift. I think the way it was phrased was rude, not the actual act of reselling the shoes.
Edit:
I absolutely agree with you.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 46d
The comparison to means testing seems insane to me. It's not even close to the same thing.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 47d
They would have said something more like “oh, maybe I can sell these and get two pairs of to last longer.” or “wow, I can sell these and buy some groceries and a pair of .”
Maeve@kbin.earth · -6 pts · 47d
Or groceries. Or a birthday gift for the kid.
bubblybubbles@lemmy.ml · 18 pts · 47d
what a cray take
checks instance
ok yup instance checks out
jdr@lemmy.ml · -18 pts · 47d
Instance racist
EyIchFragDochNur@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 47d
this comment thread is funny because .ml sucks
jdr@lemmy.ml · -2 pts · 47d
Totally agree, but it's still cooler than .world
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 46d
This was posted on shit just works though...
jdr@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 46d
Indeed
EyIchFragDochNur@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 47d
No
Pandantic@midwest.social · 4 pts · 47d
Yuh huh!
bubblybubbles@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 47d
Instcist
jdr@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 47d
Careful how you pronounce that
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 46d
I don't think saying that it's rude to immediately turn around and sell, for profit, a gift someone gave to your son equals "obsessed"
bustrouffi@piefed.social · 0 pts · 47d
It's amazing how much you're getting downvoted for this!
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online · 3 pts · 46d
Lol my instance doesn't have down votes