Hello! I'm not the person you asked but I figured I'd throw in my experience.
In my case, if I could snap my fingers and instantly change my penis to a vulva, I would. But I had a haemorroid surgery many years ago, and the month or so afterwards was one of the worst times of my life, so I would prefer it if no surgeon ever went anywhere near my lower trunk ever again.
But everyone's experience is different. Some women just like to fuck, and of the trans women who do, some don't feel the need to replace the factory installed equipment for doing so.
No it doesn't? The apple doesn't check if you're a man before de-dickandballs-ing you. It'll uproot the twig and berries whether you're cis, trans, or intersex.
That's basically where I was going with the joke, anyway. I'm hoping this could be the change they need to reassess their life and join the human race.
i mean, yeah i got you were joking. one of my firmest morals is that people have the right to choose what they put in their bodies and in order to do that they have to know what they are putting in it and what it will do. but like, woooooo this apple is going to forcefemme you is kinda funny.
If mine fell off, I would make a device to keep it alive so I could play with it when ever I wanted to. Plus now that's detached you could toss it around, let her borrow it for a few nights or let her use it in the shower. Lots of good things could be coming from this. We just don't see it because we haven't been in this position before.
For those curious, this apple does exist (though it's more of a very dark purple) and it grows at high altitude in Tibet. The altitude gave it its colour.
dammit i live near apple country (it's why i smoke with apple half the time. applewood is cheap as hell out in placerville) and i have a goal of eating every varietal of apple. just that's it. every varietal of apple. why the hell not when you live near apple country, right? (like i just went out to watsonville and got me some olallieberries and even better got to talk with Nita fuck yeah) you mean i have to fly to tibet to eat this?
I want to use this meme to draw attention to the fact that many fruits have a lot of varieties. Usually, people know this because of wines and grapes, since concord, pinot noir/grigio, chardonnay, nebbiolo are all different kinds of grapes and are vastly different. The same is true with apples too, but most people are familiar with the few they can pick at orchards. If there was an apple that could do what's described in the meme, I wouldn't be particularly surprised.
76 Comments
aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 141 pts · 54d
[several transfems are typing…]
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 76 pts · 54d
Omg that's horrible...
Where can one find one?
MissJinx@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 53d
Calm down there Eve
Beth@piefed.social · 43 pts · 54d
Can it do tops too?
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 41 pts · 54d
Damn, I just want my balls off. I wanna keep my dick.
What if I just have a nibble?
tetris11@feddit.uk · 24 pts · 54d
I remember Snow White a little differently from this
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 54d
You know all those stories were sanitized.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 54d
I'm not sure you really want that. As a horny teen I wanked myself dry a few times and it is painful. Imagine it felt like that every time.
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 15 pts · 54d
No, I'm positive I want that.
I think as a teen we all went a little too hard with our equipment once or twice lmao
Redjard@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 54d
Balls only make sperm, the fluid is the prostate(?) or smthn, it comes from inside the body.
expr@piefed.social · 4 pts · 54d
I've never heard someone say that before. Why would you want one but not the other, if you don't mind my asking?
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 54d
Hello! I'm not the person you asked but I figured I'd throw in my experience.
In my case, if I could snap my fingers and instantly change my penis to a vulva, I would. But I had a haemorroid surgery many years ago, and the month or so afterwards was one of the worst times of my life, so I would prefer it if no surgeon ever went anywhere near my lower trunk ever again.
But everyone's experience is different. Some women just like to fuck, and of the trans women who do, some don't feel the need to replace the factory installed equipment for doing so.
Bluewing@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 54d
Well, you could still pee standing up.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 54d
my dude, the she-wee has existed since, uh, plastic. maybe only as long as women have served in the military.
Bluewing@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 53d
Not a very common thing to find in the wild.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 53d
i bet if you plucked a pitcher plant it would work
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 54d
Yeah like is there an artificial flavour I can try? Also someone attached to the birth kit
SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 54d
Trans lifehack
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 54d
Was about to ask where to find some, asking for a friend of course
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 53d
But it would make you a nullo?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 20 pts · 54d
Free orchidectomy and penectomy? Where are these apples found? Asking for a friend
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 54d
free castration
psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 18 pts · 54d
Shouldn't it be called Instant Trans Apple? Non invasive transition, very convenient.
mech@feddit.org · 8 pts · 54d
This implies trans women are just men without genitals.
iocase@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 54d
This implies the speed running community doesn't exist
Callypo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 54d
This has dire cobsequences for the furry community!
qarbone@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 54d
No it doesn't? The apple doesn't check if you're a man before de-dickandballs-ing you. It'll uproot the twig and berries whether you're cis, trans, or intersex.
Lumisal@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
Your comment implies women that are trans and get surgery aren't trans, just men without genitals.
mech@feddit.org · 3 pts · 54d
No, it doesn't.
sunsofold@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 54d
I imagine it'd be more like the kind of removal one gets from other natural causes, like frostbite or a bloodclot. I.e. painful and necrotic
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
you left out snake and pumabite
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 15 pts · 54d
No, thanks. I hate sweet apples. Give them to us sour and crunchy.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 54d
sweet apples have their uses. get a nice apple corer and fuck yeah, that recipe's easy.
king_comrade@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 54d
What's apple's, precious?
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 54d
If, hypothetically, some sort of person who didn't have a dick and balls were to eat it?
qarbone@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 54d
It's expunging 15g of crotchmeat no matter what you do or don't have, so buckle up.
Jax@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 54d
So, for reference, studies like the sources for this article suggest the average human penis weighs between 70-100 grams.
So you'd be growing a micropenis at 15g. Not quite the effusive expulsion you were imagining.
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 53d
Oh. So if someone had a
Wait. Penises get erect by engorging with fluid. Do you lose a smaller percentage if you have an erect vs flaccid penis while eating one?
qarbone@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 53d
Yes.
And you don't lose all of it, if you're particularly well-endowed.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 54d
you get all the dicksandballses that have fallen off since the last dickandballsless person to eat one
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 53d
So this is just a snack for all trans people?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 53d
Yeah, like David Bowie
atomicorange@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 54d
No negatives you say?
Jo4ted@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 54d
Any other transfems want to join me in going on an adventure to find these?
bacon_pdp@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 54d
iltoroargento@startrek.website · 5 pts · 54d
And conservative men.
bacon_pdp@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
iltoroargento@startrek.website · 2 pts · 54d
That's basically where I was going with the joke, anyway. I'm hoping this could be the change they need to reassess their life and join the human race.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
i mean, yeah i got you were joking. one of my firmest morals is that people have the right to choose what they put in their bodies and in order to do that they have to know what they are putting in it and what it will do. but like, woooooo this apple is going to forcefemme you is kinda funny.
iltoroargento@startrek.website · 2 pts · 54d
Lol exactly
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 10 pts · 54d
My sister would love these.
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 53d
I want that apple even more now.
bold_omi@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 54d
It does not, in fact, do that.
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 53d
"Speak for yourself" he says in a comically high voice.
bold_omi@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 50d
Eunuchs do not have particularly high voices if made eunuchs as adults. One does not undergo a reverse puberty if the gonads are removed.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 54d
An apple a day keeps the doctor away......because now the doctor is too depressed to go to work and be a doctor.....
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 54d
No, she's fine.
Chef@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 54d
Wow, I’d love to try…
holdup
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 54d
🥚
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 54d
"i'll try anything once" oh shit
altphoto@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 54d
If mine fell off, I would make a device to keep it alive so I could play with it when ever I wanted to. Plus now that's detached you could toss it around, let her borrow it for a few nights or let her use it in the shower. Lots of good things could be coming from this. We just don't see it because we haven't been in this position before.
karlhungus@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 54d
https://youtu.be/55uaB-0nawo
JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 54d
Wow, almost forgot about this one.
altphoto@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 54d
Hilarious!
Gonzako@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 54d
WifiDICK
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
it didn't say they died. it just say they fall off.
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 54d
Wait wait wait hold up
RBWells@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 54d
Www.applerankings.com
tgirlschierke@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 53d
where could one acquire such an apple, hypothetically?
androidul@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 54d
it’s black because it grew from an oil spill
ChairmanMeow@programming.dev · 12 pts · 54d
For those curious, this apple does exist (though it's more of a very dark purple) and it grows at high altitude in Tibet. The altitude gave it its colour.
unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 54d
And its effect on one's delicate bits?
Never mind is just a very expensive apple
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Diamond_Apple
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
dammit i live near apple country (it's why i smoke with apple half the time. applewood is cheap as hell out in placerville) and i have a goal of eating every varietal of apple. just that's it. every varietal of apple. why the hell not when you live near apple country, right? (like i just went out to watsonville and got me some olallieberries and even better got to talk with Nita fuck yeah) you mean i have to fly to tibet to eat this?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 54d
sold!
we're forcefemming the
whiteblackdiamondhouse~uberfreeza@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 53d
I want to use this meme to draw attention to the fact that many fruits have a lot of varieties. Usually, people know this because of wines and grapes, since concord, pinot noir/grigio, chardonnay, nebbiolo are all different kinds of grapes and are vastly different. The same is true with apples too, but most people are familiar with the few they can pick at orchards. If there was an apple that could do what's described in the meme, I wouldn't be particularly surprised.
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 53d
I feel like going full Snow White with and offering Trump an Apple.
Then again, he doesn’t eat food that was, you know, grown, so….
webp@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 53d
Oh my god, it's from the garden of eden myth
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 53d
Can we ship some of these to Peter Thiel’s dialogue meeting