How odd that he immediately knew it was for him. As if he knows full well what he is doing is evil and that he was there to ruin the citizens of Salem and then escape to his new yacht in the Bahamas.
But, really -- who cares? Let them live out their pathetic lives in their sealed-off bunkers. As long as they never come out, who cares what they do in there? Let them live for decades in their coward-hole. Give them plenty of time to think about the decisions that led to this. Until, finally, their food runs out, their servants murder them, or they run into a medical issue that they don't have supplies to fix. And then the bunker becomes their tomb. And nobody will notice or care when they die, because to the rest of the world, they're already dead.
They can still exercise power from a bunker, because somehow, no matter how awfully they behave, there are always plenty of people who will do their bidding.
Yes but why miss the opportunity to spray glyphosate, pesticides, lead and nuclear byproducts into their drinking water and air intake systems. We’d just be returning the favor
How the hell was I supposed to know it was the ventilation shaft for a secret bunker!? I see a hole in the woods, I shit in the hole. I'm a simple man.
I mean, you don't need to believe you're evil to understand that everyone else believes you're evil. He probably thinks he's right and it's everyone else who is wrong.
If another revolution were to happen in France, the railway unions, who have mobile sausage grill trolleys that roll along tram tracks to feed protest marchers, would presumably be entrusted with guillotine logistics
I was referring to the utility of railway tracks for transporting bulky objects when one has the means to use them. And if grills, then why not guillotines?
Were the revolution to take the idea of eating the rich literally, one could attach a woodchipper behind the guillotine in place of the traditional basket. Though eating unpopular rulers may be more a Dutch tradition than a French one.
A device like this can be used to cut delicious, cold watermelon, pineapples, and other fruits for serving to protesters, on hot summer days. We're getting more hot summer days recently, as it happens.
A fully functional one can be built by a handyman using basic tools in a garage workshop in a day. Everything you need can be found at your local homecenter store.
Bringing a guillotine to a protest merely to show it off and make a statement is a great way to have blackshirts (also known as the police) harassing you about making "terroristic threats".
Cutting fruit with it sends the same message, while also demonstrating that the device actually works and is not for show. And you have a legitimate reason for having it. What, officer? I'm not threatening anyone with this. This is a watermelon-cutting machine.
Prison for people like this would necessitate an overhaul of the justice system. And “capital punishment” is something the state should never have the power to exact.
They deserve to be put down in the streets, extrajudicially, by citizens who give a shit about their country.
I think we can strap some 1850s to some wood and a kitchen knife to make a portable, electric-powered guillotine that's safe and easy to carry in a milk crate zip tied to a rear rack
I noticed while riding home today that my neighbor up the street has built a guillotine. I think it's meant to be a Halloween decoration, but you never know...
Oh he does. It's just that usually they get away with anything, and that day he didn't, which he found absolutely unacceptable: it needs to be banned! (but no, let's not!)
You don't have to cut through his head, just his neck, and that long skinny neck looks perfect for the job. And if it takes 3 or 4 chops, that's fine, whatever it takes.
107 Comments
ToiletFlushShowerScream@piefed.world · 237 pts · 6d
How odd that he immediately knew it was for him. As if he knows full well what he is doing is evil and that he was there to ruin the citizens of Salem and then escape to his new yacht in the Bahamas.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 127 pts · 6d
Oh, they're all very aware. That's why they're building bunkers, and buying islands, and building bunkers on islands.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 62 pts · 6d
Once they lock themselves into their bunkers, we just pour a few tons of concrete over the bunker entrance and call it a day.
Future archaeologists will marvel at the elaborate tombs our kings built for themselves.
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 6d
Pour the concrete into the air intake and exhaust
Fluke@feddit.uk · 12 pts · 6d
Like they said, concrete the doors first.
What you dump down the air intakes afterwards is your business.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 6d
"Nuclear waste disposal is not a significant problem." Glad you said that, Mr. CEO.
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 5d
That is a great point. Also glyphosate, pesticides and lead
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 5d
I’m ok with them running out because then we can enjoy a slower more satisfying departure
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 6 pts · 6d
But, really -- who cares? Let them live out their pathetic lives in their sealed-off bunkers. As long as they never come out, who cares what they do in there? Let them live for decades in their coward-hole. Give them plenty of time to think about the decisions that led to this. Until, finally, their food runs out, their servants murder them, or they run into a medical issue that they don't have supplies to fix. And then the bunker becomes their tomb. And nobody will notice or care when they die, because to the rest of the world, they're already dead.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 5d
They can still exercise power from a bunker, because somehow, no matter how awfully they behave, there are always plenty of people who will do their bidding.
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 5d
Those people will need to be dealt with
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 5d
Yes but why miss the opportunity to spray glyphosate, pesticides, lead and nuclear byproducts into their drinking water and air intake systems. We’d just be returning the favor
Ariselas@piefed.ca · 38 pts · 6d
New chant, "You say bunker, we say guillotine!"
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 6d
"You say bunker, we say grave!"
Fits the whole "concrete on concrete" theme better imo.
13igTyme@piefed.social · 7 pts · 6d
Bunkers will have ventilation shafts. Would be a shame if someone shit down it.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 5d
How the hell was I supposed to know it was the ventilation shaft for a secret bunker!? I see a hole in the woods, I shit in the hole. I'm a simple man.
ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 6d
I mean, you don't need to believe you're evil to understand that everyone else believes you're evil. He probably thinks he's right and it's everyone else who is wrong.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 5d
No, they know their the bad guys, and they're okay with it.
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net · 131 pts · 6d
I love the bike trailer guillotine. I ought to get one.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 58 pts · 6d
If another revolution were to happen in France, the railway unions, who have mobile sausage grill trolleys that roll along tram tracks to feed protest marchers, would presumably be entrusted with guillotine logistics
ultrafastsloth@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 6d
Wait, are you implying …guillotine output->sausage grill input? O.o
gbzm@piefed.social · 22 pts · 6d
Eat the rich. In a bun. With mustard an onions.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 13 pts · 6d
Billionaire On A Bun. Doesn't get any better than that!
(Well, it doesn't get any better than that until Trillionaire Toast is back on the menu.)
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 10 pts · 6d
I was referring to the utility of railway tracks for transporting bulky objects when one has the means to use them. And if grills, then why not guillotines?
Were the revolution to take the idea of eating the rich literally, one could attach a woodchipper behind the guillotine in place of the traditional basket. Though eating unpopular rulers may be more a Dutch tradition than a French one.
Hazel@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 6d
Hey it was just the one time!
ooterness@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 6d
It's a train, you can have as many cars as you want.
Einskjaldi@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 6d
It's too small, it won't have any drop speed. It needs to be much taller.
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net · 29 pts · 6d
I don't have a problem with needing to raise it multiple times per use.
victorz@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 6d
Brutal 🫣
lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 5d
It's reusable, that's the point
TheLastOfHisName@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 6d
This guy sciences.
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 5d
It's like a low flow toilet, you may have to cycle it a few times, but it'll get shit done.
deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 6d
Sufficient for genitalia.
Promethiel@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 6d
It's so chic! I really thought I already had all my E-bike accessories figured out, but there really is always more to buy with any hobby, turns out.
NateNate60@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 6d
Classic Oregonian wit for you
zbyte64@awful.systems · 7 pts · 6d
Needs some bagels
mtpender@piefed.world · 70 pts · 6d
The People of Salem be like:
sundray@lemmus.org · 37 pts · 6d
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 62 pts · 6d
Invest in guillotines and guillotine services companies. Growth industry for sure.
TheGoldenV@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 6d
That’s it. I’m building my own guillotine trailer
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 6d
Like ops pic, bicycle powered so very good for the environment.
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 6d
Please open source the designs.
Gork@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 6d
Guillotine and guillotine accessories
Reygle@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 6d
MORE OF EXACTLY THIS PLEASE
DempstersBox@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 5d
I fucking LOVE that it was towed by a bike
Almacca@aussie.zone · 39 pts · 6d
More CEOs need to fear for their lives.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 5d
ALL of them.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 6d
A device like this can be used to cut delicious, cold watermelon, pineapples, and other fruits for serving to protesters, on hot summer days. We're getting more hot summer days recently, as it happens.
A fully functional one can be built by a handyman using basic tools in a garage workshop in a day. Everything you need can be found at your local homecenter store.
Here's a video of such a fruit cutter in action: https://youtu.be/CJvIzsxmnBY
NateNate60@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 6d
Bringing a guillotine to a protest merely to show it off and make a statement is a great way to have blackshirts (also known as the police) harassing you about making "terroristic threats".
Cutting fruit with it sends the same message, while also demonstrating that the device actually works and is not for show. And you have a legitimate reason for having it. What, officer? I'm not threatening anyone with this. This is a watermelon-cutting machine.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 6d
OSHA might show up too.
MycelialMass@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 6d
Isnt that for work places?
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 6d
No, I mean to watch.
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 6d
Oh, I thought you meant OSHWA :(
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 6d
Are the designs copy left?
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 6d
hansolo@lemmy.today · 29 pts · 6d
What a little bitch. That's a half scale model.
What is this, a guillotine for hamsters he's afraid of? You couldn't slice a sandwich with that little thing.
Diurnambule@jlai.lu · 17 pts · 5d
Hé is not used to people pushing back. Most capitalist can't get one guy in their face. So their hire people to insulate them.
Spezi@feddit.org · 9 pts · 6d
It’s for his dick
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 5d
'It's not the size of the guillotine, it's the keenness of the blade.' -Macchiaveli or Abraham Lincoln, Probably.
matlag@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 5d
Or need several attempts to cut through. I say there's only one way to know for sure!
Beangut@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 6d
Guillotine is too kind, we've been through an industrial revolution.
Portable meat grinder or wood chipper would be more apt for these ghouls.
Einskjaldi@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 6d
Nah, it's carbon neutral and environmentally friendly, you don't want a diesel generator.
qarbone@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 6d
Make the multi-millionaires power the grinder with the wheel of pain like Conan the Barbarian /s
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 6d
Jesus, man.
I think we can build electric wood chippers. It's even easier than cars because you can grid tie it.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 6d
There's a limit to what I'd want to witness. Holding a head up is right on the line. Dropping a living person in to a woodchipper? No thank you.
Seriously though, I'd rather see them rot in prison. Death is the easy way out.
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 8 pts · 6d
I don't have nearly enough faith in the prison system. Let's just put their heads on pikes and call it a day.
Beangut@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 6d
You're a better person than I am, glad to have people like you in the world.
WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 5d
Nah. Cut them down where they stand.
Prison for people like this would necessitate an overhaul of the justice system. And “capital punishment” is something the state should never have the power to exact.
They deserve to be put down in the streets, extrajudicially, by citizens who give a shit about their country.
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 5d
My masters degree in Tarpology would finally have an application outside of the occasional Gallagher or Gwar concert.
bold_atlas@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 6d
And he has the perfect head for it too. Like, its the perfect shape and everything.
A human sized dickhead going into a giant vagina with a meat cleaver in it....It's like they were meant for each other.
And a mobile guillotine hauled by a bicycle is the greenest shit ever.
So when are we going to start popping these big juicy white heads? I'm starving.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 5d
A neck like that must make executioners drool.
Tattorack@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 6d
Yes. Make them scared. Show them they're just one very mortal individual, and that we are many, many more.
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 19 pts · 6d
Luckily he's a business major or he might have noticed the Guillotine is nonfunctional by the slack in the rope.
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 6d
Which is probably a good thing, someone could lose a limb messing around with it.
And it sends a message just fine as a prop.
dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 6d
And the fact that the blade appears to be made of something wrapped in aluminum foil. Styrofoam or plywood, if I were to take a guess.
It sure gets the point across either way, though.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 5 pts · 6d
An actual guillotine on a bike trailer would be awfully heavy and top-heavy ... a pretty unstable load for such a small trailer.
Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 6d
Guess you'd want the blade down for transport.
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 6d
It's 2026.
I think we can strap some 1850s to some wood and a kitchen knife to make a portable, electric-powered guillotine that's safe and easy to carry in a milk crate zip tied to a rear rack
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 14 pts · 5d
With a neck like that, the executioner won't have any problems at all.
Red0ctober@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 6d
Fuck yeah! Go Salem!
grue@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 6d
I noticed while riding home today that my neighbor up the street has built a guillotine. I think it's meant to be a Halloween decoration, but you never know...
bigbangdangler@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 6d
But I bet he doesn't take the hint.
matlag@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 5d
Oh he does. It's just that usually they get away with anything, and that day he didn't, which he found absolutely unacceptable: it needs to be banned! (but no, let's not!)
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 5d
He was warned...
BaraCoded@literature.cafe · 10 pts · 6d
I read the brutal comments and my faith in humanity is restored. ❤️
Love y'all (and glory to Salem).
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 6d
That’s a well-built guillotine.
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 6d
Well apart from the fact that it quite obviously doesnt work at all. It looks cool, but its a completely fixed structure with no moving parts.
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 6d
Unfortunately it's not
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 5d
It was for its effect.
nkat2112@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 6d
This is so beautiful.
lechekaflan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 6d
That is definitely an informed warrior ride.
Onward the Butlerian Jihad!
quick_snail@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 6d
This man knows his history
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 5d
Even recently
nialv7@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 5d
ironically this is a gen ai image...
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 4d
Serious question: How can you tell that its AI and not photoshop?
notsure@fedia.io · 5 pts · 6d
I have a good recipe for steel and some sturdy cedar if anyone is interested.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 5d
"Next on American Workshop, here on PBS..."
If all you got is rope, I got a plan for that, too. We can make this work.
bjc@scribe.disroot.org · 5 pts · 6d
“gets ran out”
good editorial control there folks. very legitimate sounding
TIEPilot@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 6d
LOL your worried about a guillotine? They are bigger monsters that go bump in the night.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 6d
*You're, a contraction of "you are", if that's too hard to remember, you can just use "ur" for everything, we'll know why you do it.
TIEPilot@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 6d
Your missing the point.
vegafjord@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 6d
free speech
NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social · 5 pts · 6d
Its only a little one. It would probably struggle to get his big round head off.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 5d
You don't have to cut through his head, just his neck, and that long skinny neck looks perfect for the job. And if it takes 3 or 4 chops, that's fine, whatever it takes.
Zerush@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 6d
More important going to Washington with it
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 4d
So, it does work.
nonentity@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 6d
The easiest way to avoid being legitimately threatened by a guillotine is to not be a threat worthy of a guillotine.
Sunflier@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 5d