I once made the mistake of taking a shit at school. And I heard a group of boys walk in and say "yo someone is shitting in there" and then they repeatedly kept asking who it was, kicking on the door, throwing wet paper towels over, then climbed up and peered over the side. School is a hell.
The other day some asshole rattled the door so long and hard, as I was repeatedly shouting occupied, that the lock jiggled open and I had to hold the door shut with my foot. Then the guy shouts “What the fuck?!” and storms out of the restroom.
What the fuck, indeed, buddy. What the fuck, indeed.
Don't knock, just accept that it's locked and wait until I'm done fighting for my life in here. I don't want to have to speak while at my most vulnerable
One time, not only did the person try the door, I yell "OCCUPIED".... then pounded on the door, then tried the handle again... somehow immediately got the attention of an employee who just fucking unlocked the door. And I'm just standing there, dick in hand like "WHAT THE FUCK"... and they were like, "oh sorry, we didn't think anyone was in here". Couldn't wait one god damn minute, cause I had just walked in.
Every workplace ever. Coupled with comment about always taken toilet (I swear to god some people forget they have to go until they see someone head in the toilets general direction)
This is why they put those big gaps between the door, so you can put your eye up to it like a peephole to be sure it's occupied. If it is, I'll usually just drop a friendly, "I like your style!" and keep waiting my turn.
61 Comments
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 48 pts · 21d
Lemme scoot over and make some room for you on the toilet.
testaccount789@sh.itjust.works · 37 pts · 20d
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 20d
Dude beating me to my favorite gif by 20 hours
Mr_Fish@lemmy.nz · 35 pts · 21d
Spread your legs I'll piss through the gap. Don't worry I have good aim
toothpaste_sandwich@thebrainbin.org · 13 pts · 21d
Now there's an image.
NeilNuggetstrong@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 21d
If you've pissed without pants on you know it doesn't matter how well your aim is, you're always taking some stray's
anomnom@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 21d
Imagine the splash back if you were sitting right over it?
BigBenis@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 20d
Like the least-effective bidet you could imagine
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 20d
Actually did that with a girlfriend when we both got home and had to immediately piss.
Worked fine. Just wasn’t allowed to shake it in her face so had to dab with toilet paper.
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 20d
BlindPenguin@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 20d
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 20d
Fizz@lemmy.nz · 43 pts · 21d
I once made the mistake of taking a shit at school. And I heard a group of boys walk in and say "yo someone is shitting in there" and then they repeatedly kept asking who it was, kicking on the door, throwing wet paper towels over, then climbed up and peered over the side. School is a hell.
rumba@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 20d
Why? You need some? I could fish some out of here and throw it in your face.
Never attack a man who's armed.
QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 20d
Was that just a thing kids did? I have an identical story down to the wet paper towels…
BigDiction@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 20d
Definitely was so I just never pooped at school.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 20d
Me too, problem solved. It helps that I have ADHD and can't feel the need to go as much so I can ignore it until I get home.
BigDiction@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 20d
Hold up that’s related to ADHD?
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 20d
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Defecation
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 20d
Anal Department Has Delays
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 20d
Yeah so I was told
testaccount789@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 20d
"You should've went during the break."
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 20d
You mean should've gone ?
Flower@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 21d
"Oh thank God, you're right on time. Quick, get some gloves. I've got something stuck up there and could use some help! Hello?! Are you still there!?"
IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 21d
This could backfire spectacularly
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 21d
Or it could go exactly as planned.
Sour_as_Lemon@reddthat.com · 7 pts · 21d
I'm stuck here stepbro, I'm stuck here.
Switorik@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 21d
What gets me are how many people don't lock their doors in public.
SolacefromSilence@fedia.io · 11 pts · 21d
Pooping with friends
knobbysideup@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 21d
lost_faith@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 20d
lmao, saw this in a rest room several years ago, different style door tho
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 20d
Like Romans.
Untamed_Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 20d
here a lot of restrooms don't even have working locks lol.
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 21d
rattle rattle
"Uh! Wh-who is it?!"
RATTLE RATTLE
"Uh ... occupied!"
BAM BAM BAM "UUARRRRRGH! UUARRRRRGH!"
"I, uh ... j-just you wait until I-"
BANG BANG BANG! "UUARRGLE! UUARRGLE!
"Right, you! What's your-"
Bathroom is empty.
itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml · 15 pts · 20d
When they knock, just say "Come in."
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 20d
Be enthusiastic about it: "OOOOH, come IN!"
bampop@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 20d
"the party's just starting!"
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 20d
The other day some asshole rattled the door so long and hard, as I was repeatedly shouting occupied, that the lock jiggled open and I had to hold the door shut with my foot. Then the guy shouts “What the fuck?!” and storms out of the restroom.
What the fuck, indeed, buddy. What the fuck, indeed.
CaptainMan251@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 20d
He didn't want you to leave, he wanted to join you
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 21d
Tried this the other day at a tourist spot and the door wasn’t locked.
I will never unsee.
Rooskie91@discuss.online · 10 pts · 21d
Hello, I'm the person on the other side of the door in this meme and JUST KNOCK!
Evil_Incarnate@sopuli.xyz · 16 pts · 21d
"Come in!"
prex@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 21d
( ･ิ ͜ʖ ･ิ)
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 20d
Don't knock, just accept that it's locked and wait until I'm done fighting for my life in here. I don't want to have to speak while at my most vulnerable
Agent641@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 21d
Be a kind neighbor, unleash a gutteral animalistic screech to help loosen their bowels and shorten their visit.
CaptPretentious@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 20d
One time, not only did the person try the door, I yell "OCCUPIED".... then pounded on the door, then tried the handle again... somehow immediately got the attention of an employee who just fucking unlocked the door. And I'm just standing there, dick in hand like "WHAT THE FUCK"... and they were like, "oh sorry, we didn't think anyone was in here". Couldn't wait one god damn minute, cause I had just walked in.
stickyprimer@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 20d
This is the “just letting you know that someone is waiting” signal. I only do it when they’re taking fucking forever.
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 20d
Hey, sometimes it takes a bit to find the right vid. If you need to poop so bad, go poop in the sink.
subgenius@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 20d
It’s self defeating as you give the user pinch lock. Now it takes longer for them to relax back to the state of utopian release.
Trampampoline@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 21d
Ay, you poopin in there!?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 20d
Demdaru@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 21d
Every workplace ever. Coupled with comment about always taken toilet (I swear to god some people forget they have to go until they see someone head in the toilets general direction)
realitista@lemmus.org · 5 pts · 21d
Hurry the fuck up, it's an emergency!!
clucose@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 21d
Just fart harder!! Show dominance through unaffected pooping.
Jerb322@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 21d
This happens so much, I'm convinced that some of them want to see someone in the middle of whatever...
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 21d
Yeah and then stare like a Simpsons Hit & Run NPC at the person that was in there for the whole fucking time they're in the venue thishappened
dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 20d
frank saying occupado may be my favorite quote in IASIP
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 19d
You every been so panicked you start speaking Spanish, despite English being your main?
NathanRanch@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 20d
Sometimes I swear people put in earbuds just to do this and have an excuse
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 20d
Do a Limmy
https://youtu.be/c40Xl5V9bBs
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 19d
This is why they put those big gaps between the door, so you can put your eye up to it like a peephole to be sure it's occupied. If it is, I'll usually just drop a friendly, "I like your style!" and keep waiting my turn.