How met my wife on OkCuipd. She had a detailed profile and saw we liked the same shows, so I used that to start a conversation. And then went from there. Been together 13 years now!
Okcupid used to be so much better. You could search by interests. Like last year I was sitting here going "can't I just find another nerd who likes Elden Ring?", and I remembered you used to be able to.
Match Group has blood on their hands and if there was justice they would not be living rich lives.
Oh yeah I remember that. Had filters to. Like I smoked cigarettes back then. So it asked if you did allowed people who didn't like smokers filter out. Vis versa I could find like minded people. Like my wife who didn't smoke but didn't have issues with me smoking. At least at the time. Thanks to her been smoke free 10 years now.
Women on dating apps suck. Men on dating apps suck. The fact that it wasn't always this way tells me that either 1, people or 2, the apps have caused interactions to degrade.
Crimes against humanity would only be a bit of a stretch in my mind. Declining birth rates and a loneliness epidemic, and these chumps have been making it worse for profit.
They also did some wonderfully interesting data mining.
E.g. a first message containing the word awesome added 18% to the chances of getting a reply. They also discussed how paid dating sites did best by keeping you from finding a permanent partner.
All those blog posts vanished when they got brought out. Thankfully I found my partner before then, but those after are screwed (or not, depending on the wordplay!)
A long time ago, a female friend told me that a cute guy had given her his number, and she really like that because it felt less vulnerable than giving out her number to a guy she just met. The next time I saw her, I asked her how it went with the guy, and she said, "Oh, I was gonna text him, but then I got too nervous, and now it's been too long."
Business cards are for business... giving them to any woman who isn't a prostitute doing business feels way too formal to be asking for a date. Just my opinion but seems like it'd go into a wallet to be forgotten like most of the business cards people get from people they DO want to talk to.
I haven’t used bumble in a while but when I left it felt like everyone still using it was just there to match and then go no contact. Kinda surprised it’s still being used by people
Just takes persistence. Its a low effort activity that most people are doing as the digital equivalent of window shopping. But you occasionally stumble on someone serious.
Its not really that different to real life. If you spoke to 500 single people of your preferred gender chances are you'd only get considerable interest out of a handful. Especially as you're using lemmy. /j
Barely any, I'd say? Cos usually any dating app has massively more men than women on it, so there is literally no need to prop up male numbers by bots.
52 Comments
Krudler@lemmy.world · 84 pts · 2d
Every woman's profile on every dating app other than Bumble: "If we match, better say something more than hey or hello. Put in some actual effort!"
Women sending the first message on bumble: "Hey"
jtrek@startrek.website · 35 pts · 2d
Also people who say "don't just write hey!" and then have absolutely no hooks in their profile.
Put a hook. Not a cliché or pickup line. Something you want them to talk to you about. You set the starting conditions. Use that advantage.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 13 pts · 2d
"I have an 11 inch penis. Around. Think about it."
sukhmel@programming.dev · 6 pts · 2d
I would definitely be intrigued, but maybe not enough to keep the communication going with this woman
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 2d
manhole cover
WakeUpSmashPots@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 2d
"don't worry about the length, that's not important, definitely has nothing to do with the fact that my nickname in college was The Ultimate Frisbee"
Fredselfish@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2d
How met my wife on OkCuipd. She had a detailed profile and saw we liked the same shows, so I used that to start a conversation. And then went from there. Been together 13 years now!
jtrek@startrek.website · 7 pts · 2d
Okcupid used to be so much better. You could search by interests. Like last year I was sitting here going "can't I just find another nerd who likes Elden Ring?", and I remembered you used to be able to.
Match Group has blood on their hands and if there was justice they would not be living rich lives.
Fredselfish@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2d
Oh yeah I remember that. Had filters to. Like I smoked cigarettes back then. So it asked if you did allowed people who didn't like smokers filter out. Vis versa I could find like minded people. Like my wife who didn't smoke but didn't have issues with me smoking. At least at the time. Thanks to her been smoke free 10 years now.
Krudler@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
About me: Ask
-- or --
About me: I'll fill this in later
Zannsolo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2d
Mine was my hatred of mayo, pretty much every non hey I got in bumble was about Mayo.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 59 pts · 2d
Women on dating apps suck. Men on dating apps suck. The fact that it wasn't always this way tells me that either 1, people or 2, the apps have caused interactions to degrade.
LilB0kChoy@reddthat.com · 64 pts · 2d
Dating apps are not incentivized to make successful matches because then you don’t need the app.
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 2d
the apps. OK Cupid was pretty much perfect back when I was single.
bran_buckler@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 2d
It was so good before Match Group got their hands on it…
jtrek@startrek.website · 15 pts · 2d
Match group should be broken up and its leadership held responsible for any harms we can find from their prioritizing profits over happiness.
yakko@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 2d
Crimes against humanity would only be a bit of a stretch in my mind. Declining birth rates and a loneliness epidemic, and these chumps have been making it worse for profit.
Fredselfish@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2d
It was great. You could answer questions to strengthen your profile and they use it to get you matches. I hear it sucks now.
cynar@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
They also did some wonderfully interesting data mining.
E.g. a first message containing the word awesome added 18% to the chances of getting a reply. They also discussed how paid dating sites did best by keeping you from finding a permanent partner.
All those blog posts vanished when they got brought out. Thankfully I found my partner before then, but those after are screwed (or not, depending on the wordplay!)
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 2d
The good ones all got taken, and all that's left are the losers.
mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d
*People suck
k0e3@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 2d
Not on the first date, though, right?
mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2d
Depends on how well the date goes.
pjwestin@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 2d
A long time ago, a female friend told me that a cute guy had given her his number, and she really like that because it felt less vulnerable than giving out her number to a guy she just met. The next time I saw her, I asked her how it went with the guy, and she said, "Oh, I was gonna text him, but then I got too nervous, and now it's been too long."
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 21 pts · 2d
That's frustrating and relatable at the same time
Godric@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2d
I deliberately give my number to women instead of asking for that same reason, glad to hear it's not because I'm ugly XD
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 1d
Having business cards just looks better anyway.
RedAggroBest@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 22h
Business cards are for business... giving them to any woman who isn't a prostitute doing business feels way too formal to be asking for a date. Just my opinion but seems like it'd go into a wallet to be forgotten like most of the business cards people get from people they DO want to talk to.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2d
Guess getting a number was just thrilling
eestileib@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1d
👉🏻😵💫👈🏻
zaphod@sopuli.xyz · 33 pts · 2d
Women on bumble making the first move: Hi
miraclerandy@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2d
I haven’t used bumble in a while but when I left it felt like everyone still using it was just there to match and then go no contact. Kinda surprised it’s still being used by people
NuanceDemon@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2d
Just takes persistence. Its a low effort activity that most people are doing as the digital equivalent of window shopping. But you occasionally stumble on someone serious.
Its not really that different to real life. If you spoke to 500 single people of your preferred gender chances are you'd only get considerable interest out of a handful. Especially as you're using lemmy. /j
faltryka@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d
It feels like the apps started charging an insane amount per message which probably made a lot of people match and then go quiet.
sheridan@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2d
Wait, they're charging per message now?? (I haven't been on a dating app in a decade.)
faltryka@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2d
Yeah but you could save by buying a three pack for only $10!
I hope they all rot.
windpunch@feddit.org · 1 pts · 1d
Last time I checked, there are platforms where you pay per message, but on these platforms no one you see is real.
dogdeanafternoon@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 2d
They are absolutely not charging per message. You don’t need to pay a penny on any of the major dating apps.
Slab_Bulkhead@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2d
ew 'phone only app now' nope sorry, too much of a burden.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 1d
Isn't that literally the only thing that differentiated it from all the other dating apps?
DarkFuture@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d
As a man, Bumble was the only viable app that actually led to results for me.
To the point that it led to the relationship I've been in for the last 5 years.
Glad I got in before this dumbass decision.
bobbyfiend@retrolemmy.com · 10 pts · 2d
Business reps say a lot of things. Lete translate that business jargon for you:
"Our company has lost 95% of its value and shareholders are making death threats. We are desperate."
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 2d
I wonder how many bot accounts women have to swipe through
blackberry28@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 2d
Barely any, I'd say? Cos usually any dating app has massively more men than women on it, so there is literally no need to prop up male numbers by bots.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1d
True, but even then they would want women to stay on the platform in desperation like men
Mac@mander.xyz · 9 pts · 2d
Dating apps are cancer lol
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2d
well they are now.
they used to be a convergence point for people to find others that were actually looking for a relationship and not just a fuckbuddy.
just another victim of enshitification.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 2d
someone really needs to make an activitypub-based dating platform, it shouldn't be that much work since it's basically mastodon with a different UI..
plyth@feddit.org · 1 pts · 1d
How do you make sure that images are not stolen and used to create fake profiles elsewhere?
How do you keep preferences private if everybody can start a server and get all data?
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
You don't and accept it for what it is.
Fake profiles from genai or stolen images can be dealt with a video call before the first date.
Keeping preferences private can only be done by keeping the real names out of the database.
You stay safe by keeping the first dates to public spaces or double dating with a friend.
plyth@feddit.org · 1 pts · 1d
But then people will feel restricted if they can only post carefully curated pictures of themselves.
minorkeys@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 1d
"Make the men do it." Doesn't sound like equality to me. Are they admitting that women aren't as good as men at something?