Be prepared

602 points · 73 comments · view on lemmy.world

73 Comments

rustyfish@piefed.world · 139 pts · 11d (8 replies)

Needs a cheat sheet for his own name. I like this guy.

toynbee@piefed.social · 32 pts · 11d (3 replies)

jjj@piefed.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 11d (2 replies)

I don't know what that's from, but the premise of "person thinks name tag is for their benefit" alone would be funny enough even if it was actually a name tag.

toynbee@piefed.social · 5 pts · 11d

That's from Doctor Who. In case you're not familiar, the Doctor - here portrayed by Matt Smith - is an alien super genius who's also a bit daft. There's loads more to the character, but if you really aren't familiar, I wouldn't want to deprive you of the fun of discovering it.

One thing to note: the Doctor has been played by many actors over many, many years. Personally, Matt Smith is my favorite, but all of the ones I've watched have had something to enjoy about them. All of them portray the character differently, so the tone of the show does change somewhat depending on where you start.

I haven't seen many of the older actors, nor either of the more recent two, so I can't recommend for or against them.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 11d

person thinks name tag [editor: or driver's license/ID] is for their benefit

that is my joke that i use for me, going on seventeen years. i am so scatterbrained. i need to think up a second joke

Pixel_Jock_17@piefed.ca · 14 pts · 11d

Used to get so black out wed write our address on our arm and just point to it when the taxi or cops came.

RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 11d

Probably not his name, but still solid

zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 11d

The name was my favorite part. Like he's the worst spy imaginable.

kolmaskommentoija@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 11d

I could likely forget my name for a moment, if someone suddenly asked it face to face. I have already forgotten an important part of my address, in a situation like that before. If I am asked directly about something, there is a very high chance, I will immediately forget everything about it, as I panic invisibly. (And yes, it is autism with me.)

kboos1@lemmy.world · 119 pts · 11d (4 replies)

$75k salary, a house, a boat, a lake house, and a trust fund. What year is this?

Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de · 44 pts · 11d

This is Mississippi, Meridian; $30k is middle class.

Duranie@leminal.space · 18 pts · 11d

"a house" Shares a duplex with a drug dealer. "a boat" Dealer took a guys boat who racked up debt, but it's sitting mostly in your backyard. "lake house" Their street floods regularly. "trust fund" He trusts the money he keeps hidden in the back of the bathroom sink is still there.

LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz · 14 pts · 11d

Debt is a hell of a drug

PapaStevesy@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 11d

Doesn't matter what year it is if your parents are stacked.

NoraLenderbee@lemmy.today · 72 pts · 11d (3 replies)

Pace yourself, 5 beers an hour lol

Smug_Marmot@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 11d

Sounds more like he's in sales than finance.

tourist@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 11d

Highlighted

implying he regularly exceeds five beers per hour

it's been a while since I had a drink, just over 5 years

but a twelve pack and some shots lasted about most of the evening for me

Guess I wasn't much of a drinker?

justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 11d

depends on the beer...

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 11d (6 replies)

Really hate when I forget my own name in the middle of a date.

Lighttrails@sh.itjust.works · 96 pts · 11d (2 replies)

That’s why you need to pace yourself to 5 beers/hr

HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 16 pts · 11d

No

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 11d

i've got little legs. i should really be at 8 beers/hr if i want to keep pace with the bigger guys.

nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz · 14 pts · 11d

He's drinking 5 beers/hour, it's a good precaution.

AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 7 pts · 11d

Getting your legends mixed up is bad tradecraft

linkipinki@feddit.org · 1 pts · 10d

I though the joke is that he made up a personality to pick her up

Mac@mander.xyz · 47 pts · 11d (4 replies)

Disclaimer: i recognize this post is a joke

You will never find the Honda you're shopping for if your filters are set to Toyota

MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 11d

But it's still fun to drive around town.

Har har ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 11d

I bought my toyota before he went crazy.

thatOneGuy@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 11d (1 reply)

What if I’m trying to find a low-mileage, mid ‘90s drop-top NSX in candy red - what filters should I set?

Asking for a friend.

troglodytis@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 11d

"Suicide Blonde"

The quotes are important.

danekrae@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 11d (6 replies)

"Astrology is such bullshit. Flowers hate sex, so they get bees to do their dirty work. I've never heard of the Colleen hoover, is it a good brand? Primus sucks. I feel I could be a main character on Grey's Anatomy. I like you woman, you don't talk much, unlike that Taylor Swiftmouth."

Why am I single?

BreadOven@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 11d

Primus sucks!

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 11d (4 replies)

I've really been wanting to get into astrology. Do you want to go to the local telescope depository?

hansolo@lemmy.today · 12 pts · 11d (2 replies)

All you need is a star chart and a sense of wild abandon.

What's your sign? Born in March? Yes, looks like you're an... Ursa major! What good fortune!

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 11d

Yes yes sign of the empty bowl: you will forever be searching for the perfect cup of pho. beauty lies in front of you, perfection is in love and in your family. you must harvest [5 human hearts] for your broth for perfect pho.

i'm really not sure about this translation

DigDoug@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 11d

You can major in Ursas? Cool!

TheFunkyMonk@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 10d

I was chatting with a bartender about my telescope a while ago, and the woman sitting next to me asked me when my birthday was. I told her the month, and asked why. She said “it sounds like you know a lot about astrology.” I said “oh no, I’m into astronomy,” to which she replied “same thing.”

Seimhe@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 11d (11 replies)

Neurodivergent people: where can I buy this?

peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 11d (8 replies)

The real trick to relationships for neurodivergent people is that you REALLY need to date other neurodivergent people.

It's so much easier than having to explain why you need a nap after the neighbor set off fireworks in the middle of the day after it interrupted an attempt to mow lawn.

TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 11d

Damn… you just described me.

BurgerBaron@quokk.au · 10 pts · 11d (4 replies)

That was oddly specific AND relatable.

peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 11d (3 replies)

I have many talents.

MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 11d (2 replies)

Are you free to mow my lawn? No fireworks and naps are encouraged.

imadethis@fedinsfw.app · 2 pts · 11d (1 reply)

I would mow your lawn. You do keep it trimmed though, right?

MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 11d

Right now it looks like someone combed it.

Seimhe@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 11d

Hard agree

jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 11d

But I like my neurotypical wife. She remembers where I put stuff and is somehow OK with the army of squirrels that I call a brain.

seathru@quokk.au · 5 pts · 11d

For anyone windering. Its called a "wrist map pouch".

slaacaa@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 11d
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 25 pts · 11d

5 beers and hour max? Now that's a responsible man.

HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 11d (2 replies)

Nice to see Violet is getting back into the dating scene.

sem@piefed.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 11d (1 reply)

Clearly this is Michael

CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social · 2 pts · 11d

That's their business

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.social · 16 pts · 11d (2 replies)

If pacing yourself is five beers an hour what is Michael's regular intake?

MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 11d

4 beers.

darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 3 pts · 11d

This is one of them SAT type questions that I'll never learn to solve. Hats off to you.

balderdash9@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 11d (4 replies)

Honestly, more men should wear thick soled shoes on causal dates. Women have so much help to boost their natural attractiveness; we gotta even the playing field.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 11d (1 reply)

get your shirts tailored. if you can't afford to tailor your date night shirts, buy cheaper shirts and get them tailored. secondhand and tailored looks better than new and not fitting you perfectly.

MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 11d

I wear sleeveless shirts. Got to show some of that side moob.

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 11d

Balance is being restored. All aboard the hammertrain choo choo

dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 11d

I just keep sewing longer and bulkier stuff to my dick. But it keeps working, and I have antibiotics 🤷

Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de · 13 pts · 11d (1 reply)

Nah, just spend the week before the date going over all that stuff in your head over and over and over, making sure it basically the only thing on your mind. Practice ALL the conversations you're going to have. over and over again.

Then when things don't go exactly as rehearsed, panic and blurt out something stupid. If they laugh, they're a keeper. And if they don't leave it means they have flag color blindness.

Perfect system.

bstix@feddit.dk · 3 pts · 11d

Soo my hobbies? Yeah, Uranus, I mean stuff in asstrophyligy, like I'm really into cancer .... Yeah and boats.

DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 11d (2 replies)

5 beers per hour?

Man I'm old but even when a wasn't old 5 beers per hour would have me pretty trashed.

Akasazh@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 11d

That may be asking the jokes involved.

tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 11d

Would be fun if you stopped at the first hour.

Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 11d (1 reply)

Five beers an hour WHILE there's a tequila shot right next to him

hansolo@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 11d

That's just to get up the nerve to drive over there.

... Wait...

Slovene85@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 11d (1 reply)

He has a boat? Is it because of the implication?

hardcoreufo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 11d

Just him and his... tasty treats.

Zkuld@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 11d (1 reply)

ok, in which freedom units do I have to think, such that 5 beers/h falls under "pace yourself"?

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 11d

12 ounces (350ml) or 16 ounces (470ml) would be typical for an American beer.

If the guy can reach 6 feet with "thick soles", he's not small, so probably the 16 ounce beer as a draft, rather than the 12 ounce beer which is typical for a bottle.

FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 11d

Armand play calls are cool but the radio in the QB helmet is the way to go