Funniest sentence wins

174 points · 143 comments · view on lemmy.world

143 Comments

jesusrp98@lemmy.world · 153 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Oh no the economy!

hOrni@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2y

The gas prices will probably go up.

moistclump@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2y

The shareholders aren’t going to like this.

eguidarelli@lemmy.world · 104 pts · 2y

Houston, you have a problem.

arymandias@feddit.de · 63 pts · 2y (1 reply)

“Why did the earth suddenly teleport ten times closer to the moon.” Then probably something like: “how can an object have sufficient kinetic energy to perfectly perforate the earth but still keep it mostly in tact” also “why is the asteroid burning if it is outside of the atmosphere”. Unless Hans Zimmer was playing in the background, then I would probably say “Dear god!”.

Gnugit@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 2y

I would have assumed the asteroid is large enough to have some sort of gravity and take a portion of the earth's atmosphere with it after it exits?

Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world · 61 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
elbucho@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 2y

Thanks, Obama.

the_beber@lemm.ee · 48 pts · 2y (1 reply)

That‘s gonna negatively impact the trout population.

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

there is definitely a negative correlation between trout numbers and the number of large asteroids that hit the earth

bzarb8ni@lemm.ee · 44 pts · 2y

"NOT THE EARTH!!

That's where I keep all my stuff!"

 - the tick
Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc · 39 pts · 2y (1 reply)

"MY CABBAGE!"

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y

He never can get a break, can he?

neatchee@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 2y (9 replies)

"Asphyxiation, hypothermia, starvation, self-harm....Asphyxiation, hypothermia, starvation, self-harm....Asphyxiation, hypothermia, starvation, self-harm............. Dammit this is a difficult choice...."

teft@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Asphyxiation is 10-15 seconds in the vacuum of space. The others are significantly longer.

Just saying.

nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 2y

Hypothermia is supposed to be nice once you get past the shivering. You feel warm (even kinda hot), the fall asleep and don’t wake up.

Asphyxia would be so quick though, but I’m not sure how blood boiling in zero atmosphere would feel.

neatchee@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Or Alternatively

Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Don't forget the massive shockwave from the exploding planet

GBU_28@lemm.ee · 11 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Via what medium

Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 2y (3 replies)

You don't think the billions of tons of rock are going to spread out? :p

Seriously though, we see shockwaves from exploding stars affecting the material around them. I don't know the mechanics of what is causing it or how it spreads, but it does.

GBU_28@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I think they would maintain their orbital path or be moved in the direction of the impact (obviously a mix)

But that's a debris field, not a shock wave

Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Well the moon was formed by an impact of similar proportions so the debris field is making it to the moon.

neatchee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Interestingly, probably not! When the moon formed it was MUCH closer to earth. The moon is ever so slowly moving away from the planet, bit by bit. So a fresh debris field from a sufficiently similar impact wouldn't reach as far as the moon is today

Phen@lemmy.eco.br · 33 pts · 2y

Last man standing, bitches.

ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 2y

At least I brought my towel

HELLZBELLY@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Well... shit.

LemmyFeed@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

Or "well... fuck."

Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Yep

janus2@lemmy.zip · 25 pts · 2y

Don't panic.

Jimmycakes@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 2y (1 reply)

You don't say anything you just take your helmet off

Verto@r.nf · 2 pts · 2y

And breathe in fresh air. It's a big lie, and you always knew.

crushyerbones@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 2y

Nooo the economy

(Stolen from another meme)

Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2y

"Well that just happened" - Any Marvel Hero

skeeter_dave@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 2y (1 reply)

At least climate change got solved

NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Wouldn't say solved, but it most certainly has changed.

Insig@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y

I should have brought my towel...

KISSmyOS@feddit.de · 21 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I love it when a plan comes together.

314xel@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

"Physics be damned"

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 2y (2 replies)

what will

What would.

taanegl@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)
[ removed ]
VulKendov@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 2y

You'd better

You'll better

Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y

This is gonna ruin the economy.

Immersive_Matthew@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 2y

Sweet. Not going to have to face that upcoming election result.

teamevil@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee · 17 pts · 2y

Shakira Shakira

bhamlin@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Well, now I don't have to return those videos to Blockbuster.

neatchee@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Blockbuster

.... Who wants to tell 'em?

greentreerainfire@kbin.social · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Tell ‘em what?

neatchee@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 2y
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

But... Blockbuster still exists. You know that, right?

neatchee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

One blockbuster that only got to keep the name because of how the franchise setup worked. The corporate entity that was, for all intents and purposes, the actual blockbuster brand is long gone

Anticorp@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y

Oh shit, the economy!

Alexstarfire@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y

Shit, I forgot to pack potatoes.

Daxtron2@startrek.website · 13 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Need an xkcd to figure out how fast it would be going to plow straight through the whole earth like that.

quantumantics@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y (1 reply)

https://what-if.xkcd.com/20/ towards the end he covers this sort of scenario in the form of a diamond sphere.

Daxtron2@startrek.website · 10 pts · 2y

I never should've doubted Randall

Dicska@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y

"Finally, it was damn fucking time"

ItsGhost@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 2y

Really simple

“Bollocks”

lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 2y

See Linda, this is why I didn't want to go visit your mother!

Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 2y

AAAAAAAH

as I get pelted by Earths space debris

hOrni@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I'm Polish so "Kurwa".

shneancy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

fake polish, all the real poles would go "o kurwa" /s

erie09@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y

"Awww, my sunglasses were in there!"

Tristaniopsis@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 2y

Oh. Fuk.

elbucho@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

Well, at least I don't have to worry about my student loans anymore.

Vilian@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 2y

"LMAO fuck you jeremy"

Captain_Buddha@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's just a little asteroid... it's stil good, it's still good!

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

I knew I shouldn't have had that bean for dinner

captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 2y

No words. Just stand there still for a second, then just drop those boxes and remain standing there.

ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 2y

Huh, that's not ideal

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2y

Spaceballs? There goes the planet.

HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2y

"Honestly, can't blame 'em."

Moghul@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

"Nice, finally"

Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Reminds me of a cool music video.

creditCrazy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

I didn't even have to click the link to know it went straight to let's go

DarylDutch@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
MakunaHatata@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 2y

I guess I don't need to worry about the divorce hearings

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

¿Dónde están mis pantalones?

ObsidianZed@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

"Oh look, a shooting star! Make a wi- OH FUCK!"

Squeak@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Houston we have a problem

Delphia@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2y

Houston, YOU have a problem.

gehrluke@feddit.de · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Grabs phone in selfie mode: "Hey guys, you will never believe what just happened..."

CenturionKing@lemmy.world · -6 pts · 2y

Lol

Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y

Welp…

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

Solitary confinement for life, apparently.

Thcdenton@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

Better drink my own piss

morriscox@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

All full of beeps.

mkhopper@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Damnit... And Ricky owed me $20. That bastard always manages to find some way to not pay me back.

lanolinoil@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Dada or Mama probably

Pulptastic@midwest.social · 5 pts · 2y

Oh shit... I left the oven on

Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)

That meteor had a lot of penetration power. (The astronaut is a war thunder player)

Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 2y

Can you leak the official documentation on that asteroid?

therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 2y

Well, that happened

ccunning@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

“It’ll buff out…”

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Fuck, that's probably gonna delay Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines 2 even further..

wabafee@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Huh..

Tathas@programming.dev · 4 pts · 2y

Oh come onnnnnn!

jet@hackertalks.com · 4 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Welp... here I am

janus2@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

"does that seem right to you...?"

jet@hackertalks.com · 2 pts · 2y

This... Is my moment

dingus182@endlesstalk.org · 4 pts · 2y

cheezoid2@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 2y

Phew.

st0v@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 2y

Boom, headshot.

nexguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

What am I going to do with these two boxes

banichan@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Well, where in the fuck am I supposed to bring these back to?

RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Mother FUUUUU. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. 20 years of work to get here, am I'm gonna die. I'm done.

small44@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Damn now i have to get a slow death instead of an instantaneous one

Peppycito@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 2y

He can expect to be pummeled by Earth chunks shortly.

fjordbasa@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
somerandomperson1231@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 2y
AlolanYoda@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 2y

Nothing a little duct tape can't fix

redline23@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

I guess I don't have to worry if I turned my oven off anymore ...

elbucho@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
necromancyr@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Well, that's going to leave a mark.

jerrythegenius@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
M137@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Fucking finally, now I can rest in peace.

YaksDC@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

"Fucking Empire!"

DoctorWhookah@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y

Time to hop into the cryo pod for 152 years.

AtmaJnana@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Fucking FINALLY!

Ziglin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Finally!

snrkl@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 2y

So THAT'S why they called that the "Taco Bell Comet"...

Daft_ish@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Sucks for that planet. Now where is flat earth again?

padge@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 2y

Lmao rip. GG no re, fr fr

Norgur@kbin.social · 2 pts · 2y

"Uhm" probably

Klear@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Probably something along the lines of

I know you would make me happy
Girl I found my way out
I found it at last now I'm sober
I know it would make it concrete
Now you're cryin'
Whouhouwhou
How sweet a sound

Let's go!

Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

LET'S GO!

InternetUser2012@midwest.social · 2 pts · 2y

Thanks for the fish.

kaupas24@kbin.social · 2 pts · 2y

Oh no... Anyway

feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

death sentence

sailormoon@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

doubletwist@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

In this week's episode of The Slow Mo Guys...

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

There goes my post-mission holidays.

swag_money@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

oop i fard and shid pant teehee

Foni@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Hold, the value of bitcoin will surely recover, let's not worry

dutchkimble@lemy.lol · 1 pts · 2y

There was once a man from nantucket

toddestan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Well, so much for that.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 2y

What am I doing in space?

KnightontheSun@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
haui_lemmy@lemmy.giftedmc.com · 1 pts · 2y

So it was a one way trip? Always has been.

Underwaterbob@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Spaceballs? Oh shit. Well, there goes the planet.

slam@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Fuck me Rhonda.

Aggravationstation@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Fuck, fuck me Rhonda

bold_omi@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 154d

The base isn't flared enough. Try again, asteroid.

Anticorp@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Welp, there goes the Superbowl.

EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

Huston, you have a problem!

CenturionKing@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
CenturionKing@lemmy.world · -3 pts · 2y

No way to play poker again

CenturionKing@lemmy.world · -3 pts · 2y

Bober kurwa!

SplashJackson@lemmy.ca · -4 pts · 2y

Earth and the comet that struck it;

Made a hole so big I could fuck it

UltraBlack@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 2y

"That kinda looks like a fleshlight"