I'm in a hotel in America with no kettle in my room, if I want tea I have to microwave it.

Wtf do I do? I'm only here for one night thank fuck but it's still very hard.

105 points · 83 comments · view on lemmy.world

83 Comments

fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk · 73 pts · 260d (12 replies)

As standard in all American hotel rooms, there should be a bedside drawer, containing a Gideon's Bible and a selection of guns.

Simply fire one of the guns repeatedly out of the window, and the barrel should heat up - then dip the heated gun barrel into the cup of water, and the water should boil.

This is the American way.

Denjin@feddit.uk · 17 pts · 260d (7 replies)

Who are the fucking Gideons? Ever met one? No! Ever seen one? No! But they're all over the fucking world, putting Bibles in hotel rooms. Every hotel room: "this Bible was placed here by a Gideon." When? I've been here all day and I ain't seen shit! I saw the housekeeper come and go, I saw the minibar guy come and go, I've never laid eyes on a fucking Gideon. What are they, ninjas? Where are they? Where are they from, Gidya? Who the fuck are these people?

echodot@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 260d (6 replies)

I'm not convinced the hotels just don't buy the Bibles.

If it was an actual person going around providing all the bibles wouldn't they have to book all of the rooms, surely that would mean that some rooms didn't get a Bible, because they weren't free at the time. But you never see that, you never see a hotel where just one of the rooms has a Bible. It's either all of the rooms, or none of the rooms.

I think it's probably just hotel policy to have Bibles, and it's been like that for years, and now no one really cares anymore but they've still got the Bibles so they're still in the drawers.

fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Gideons are a guild of Master Lockpickers, so they used to pick the locks of all the hotel rooms to leave their bibles.

These days, improved hotel security means that in many countries, the Gideon bible is less common than it used to be.

MrPoletki@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 257d

where the fuck do they come from? Gidea?

Denjin@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 260d (1 reply)
tetris11@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 260d

All of those who give sources,
Are the same I endorses

Nindelofocho@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

Imagine wanting to start a hotel and at some point in the process you have to go “and now i need to figure out how to get those bibles into my rooms” as if it is an absolutely necessary component to making a hotel like a minecraft crafting recipe

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 259d

The Gideons give out the books in bulk to the hotels, rather than using secret agents.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 16 pts · 260d (1 reply)

You could also a rev up an SUV for 2 minutes and heat a glass placed on the engine.

I think that's called the Dakota Freedom Boil

fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 260d

That's a great point - especially if you're at a proper "all-American" hotel, where each hotel room has an en-suite-car-park.

LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 260d

Mate I'm in a diner and I laughed so hard people turned round and looked. Thank you for helping me laugh through this traumatic situation.

burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 260d

Just carry around a copy of darwin's evolutionary tomes. Toss one on top of the bible, and use the resulting fire to warm the cup of water. As the darwin tome will be unharmed by the fire due to its superiority, you can reuse as needed in your travels.

adarza@lemmy.ca · 30 pts · 261d

if you want the full american experience, pay $10 + tip for a lukewarm (by the time you get it) cup of water and a lipton tea bag from room service.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 15 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Stay where you are and we’ll have someone there with chocolate digestives in a jiffy. The important thing is to not panic.

LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 260d

You are a true hero. God bless you.

Zorque@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 261d (3 replies)

You got a microwave in your room? Lucky, must be upscale.

echodot@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 260d (2 replies)

It seems to be a standard for US hotels. They always seem to have a microwave, a mini fridge that you know not to touch, and an air conditioning system that rattles away and cools the room to absolute zero. I suspect the air conditioning system would be present even in Alaskan hotels.

Zorque@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 260d

Having stayed in a number of hotels, but by no means an exhaustive amount, microwaves and mini-fridges are absolutely no guarantee. You're more likely to have a hair dryer bolted to the wall and a small single cup (though still loose ground based) coffee maker than the other two.

anothermember@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 260d

I suspect the air conditioning system would be present even in Alaskan hotels.

It wouldn't surprise me, my American relatives use a tumble dryer in Arizona.

PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au · 14 pts · 260d (10 replies)

My sister once tried to tell my aunt that there was 0 difference between tea which had been heated up in a microwave with the tea bag already in it versus tea that had been made to my aunt's specifications (boil the water, not in the microwave, and then put the tea in it and let it steep).

They had a vigorous disagreement about it, which ended with my sister making up two mugs of tea as a blind taste test and then presenting them to my aunt. My aunt instantly told her which one was the microwave tea and which was the proper tea. My sister admitted to the correction and from then on made the tea according to specifications.

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 260d (4 replies)

My sister admitted to the correction and from then on made the tea according to specifications.

TIL: When talking about tea, Brits sound like us Germans. ;-)

tetris11@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Nope, you guys think all teas are equal and dont just have a single shelf with black tea labels and some fruit teas under it - you have a a whole damn aisle of "tea", where caffeine is just another fruit

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 260d

I was thinking more about specifying an everyday process down to insanely detailed levels.
Best making a DIN-norm out of it, to be on the safe side...

Our understanding of tea is largely crap though, that part is right... Although it is getting better, some tea culture is spilling over from you guys. :-)

PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au · 2 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Ha. Everyone involved was American, my aunt's just cultured above the level of most of us plebs.

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 260d

ln that case I'm impressed!

echodot@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 260d (2 replies)

I had this arguement with an international student at university.

The thing is when you're boiling water in the kettle you're heating all of the water to a very high temperature. When you boil it in a microwave only the water molecules near the surface are actually getting heated because they absorb the microwave energy which essentially blocks other water molecules from receiving any energy, also the cup will also absorb a lot of the microwave energy. So the only water molecules getting heated are the ones at the surface.

So in a kettle you boil bottom up which agitates the water at the bottom causing it to bubble up to the top allowing more water to be boiled at the bottom, in a microwave your boiling the water top down, which means the water at the top boils and often then just fucks off into the rest of the microwave, so you get uneven heating and therefore it tastes weird.

If you boil water in a glass cup in a microwave the glass doesn't absorb the microwave radiation as much, and you get better heating, but that tends to break the cup.

There is a reason no one boils water in a microwave if they have a kettle. It tastes awful.

doughless@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Microwaves can generally reach up to nearly 3/4" in water. If heating 8oz in a glass, that should still heat the water evenly enough, since the microwaves will still mostly pass through the glass.

Heating in shorter increments and stirring in between should help avoid breaking the glass, and heat the water more evenly. If you take the time, it should be identical to kettle boiled water. That's why people prefer a kettle to a microwave, it's much faster and far less effort.

But the sister also performed that experiment in the worst possible way, why did she microwave the actual tea bag?!

PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au · 2 pts · 260d

But the sister also performed that experiment in the worst possible way, why did she microwave the actual tea bag?!

To make the point that it didn't matter, because to her it did not. However she was as you noted hoist by her own petard in the end.

burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 260d

Your sister's test had a pretty high α-value. It's not surprising your tale is being told.

jordanlund@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 259d

Curious now how (if?) she makes iced tea. Steep it in cold water in the fridge or boil the water, steep the tea, then refrigerate.

goondaba@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 261d

There’s no Keurig in the room for hot water?

GhostPain@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 261d

Pro tip. Microwave the water, THEN steep the tea.

sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 261d

Call up the office, ask them if they have a kettle for guests to use. Might get lucky.

radiouser@crazypeople.online · 9 pts · 260d

Microwave the water first and when it's boiling do the deed.

edit: I just want to mention to anyone reading this that you can superheat the water (it won't boil but it'll react violently when stirred) so be careful!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superheated_water?wprov=sfla1

Wilco@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Use the coffee maker to heat water?

mkwt@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 260d

Don't do that. You'll get coffee flavored tea, which is no good at all.

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Aight, a few suggestions so you can have something approaching a decent cup.

Assuming you're stuck with bags, which isn't the best tea, how you heat the water only matters a little and you can get a fairly similar state with a microwave.

Nuke the water twice. It's going to vary depending on the microwave, obviously, but this the low powered stuff in most hotel rooms, go with 1:30 twice. The water should be just under boiling after the second zap. Stir in between, then stir before dunking bags. This also assumes a "coffee mug" sized vessel, which is usually about 8oz (y'all brits still use those liquid measures? I'm not sure, but I can calculate the CCs if you don't have access to an app for that). If the cups are smaller, maybe do two one-minute zaps and check the temp.

Now, if you've got loose tea and your own steeper, it's about the same, but you can go a little hotter (more hot? My brain can't parse the right grammar) since the steeper will suck up some of the heat, and do so quickly.

Tbh though, the difference in nuked tea and more properly steeped is likely moot if you're using the bags the hotel provides. Most of those are utter crap even by US hot tea standards.

That's also assuming the front desk doesn't have kettles. They aren't usually in rooms, but some places do have them available on request, particularly in cities, and even moreso in cities they have a lot of European/British visitors.

You'll likely need to warm the cuppa

LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 260d

This is lifesaving advice! Thanks so much

HubertManne@piefed.social · 8 pts · 260d

microwave the water separately and pour it in.

yakko@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 261d (8 replies)

Be very hesitant about microwaving water, it can become supercritical.

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 261d (3 replies)

Advice seems to be to put a teaspoon in.
Or a little wooden utensil if you are nervous about the metal.

yakko@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 261d (2 replies)

Something wooden would do it. Nucleation points to promote normal boiling

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 260d (1 reply)

The tap water in the US is usually dirty enough that it has plenty of nucleation points.

yakko@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 260d

Safety first, then talking shit about America 👷🏻‍♂️

Flamekebab@piefed.social · 4 pts · 260d (3 replies)

It tickles me that people often act like this isn't a thing. I've reheated coffee and managed to superheat it before. At least that seems to have been what was going on - putting a spoon in the seemingly calm liquid caused it to bubble over aggressively.

yakko@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 260d

Disastrous folly is a hilarious aspect of the human condition

burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 260d (1 reply)

It's because it's both rare and rarely harmful. I think I've done it once or twice in decades of heating water in the microwave. Others I've known don't even believe it's possible because it's never happened to them.

Flamekebab@piefed.social · 2 pts · 260d

It was a common occurrence with coffee in my 1000W microwave. I've since adjusted my timings to avoid it but it's easily done.

pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 261d

I think you answered your question, microwave it.

I usually carry my hiking backpack with me when I'm away from home so that has a little mess kit I can use, if I need to cook something I can place it on the hotel iron, comes in clutch at times.

roguetrick@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 261d

Use the clothes iron.

kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 259d

if I want tea I have to microwave it.

Wtf do I do?

Uh, microwave it?

murmelade@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 260d

Judging by what I hear people do to hotel kettles in UK perhaps it's a good thing. I'd assume all kettles have had bodily fluids in them much too recently.

jordanlund@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 261d (4 replies)

A lot of hotel rooms have a coffee pot. Put water in it with no coffee to get hot water.

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 260d (3 replies)

Decades-old-coffee-remains-flavoured hot water?

RubberElectrons@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Yep.

PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au · 5 pts · 260d

George Washington will come for you, if you don't.

jordanlund@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 260d

Doubt that would be much of a problem because coffee filters and dishwashers are things.

If anything I doubt anyone has run a scale cleaner in them in years unless the hotel regularly just replaced the coffee pots on a set schedule.

https://youtube.com/shorts/-MggEDIaTK8

cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 260d

Does it matter how the water's heated? I've used microwaves (with a Pyrex measuring cup) and a kettle, for both coffee and tea, and it's fine.

A comment in this thread mentions microwaving the water with the tea bag in it. Don't do that. Heat the water to boiling in glass, put tea bag in cup (or coffee in filter in pourover cone) and pour. Steep to taste.

tomiant@piefed.social · 5 pts · 260d

Can't you just smoke meth like everyone else?

GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 260d (2 replies)

I had to live in one of those hotels for almost two weeks. I ended up going to a hardware store for a bottle of yellow HEET and a soda can to make an alcohol stove. I carefully situated it on top of the sink drain and balanced my camp cup on two crossed coat hangers above it. I made soup. That was what it took to make fucking soup.

No, not from out of the country, I live here. I was homeless, and needed to make some fucking soup in the only place I could stay.

FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 260d (1 reply)

Did your room not have a microwave?

GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

It had a bed and a bathroom, and nothing else. It didn't even have a TV.

Embargo@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 261d

Suicide.

Murder/suicide if you're with company.

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 260d (1 reply)

More importantly, what's the brand of tea you've been given?

Unless you've snuggled some Yorkshire in?

LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 260d

OF COURSE I've smuggled Yorkshire in, I bought I large pack especially for the trip. I'm not an animal.

not_me@piefed.social · 4 pts · 260d
[ removed ]
hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 260d (3 replies)

You use the coffee maker. Just don't put coffee grounds in it and it makes hot water. Its a bit slow but it does work. Or use the microwave, it works too.

WALLACE@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 260d (2 replies)

That coffee water temperature is too low, it will make horrible grey dishwater tea.

echodot@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 260d

Right but they're in America so they've probably been given awful tea bags anyway, so it probably won't matter.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 260d

Toffee. Blegh

tal@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 261d

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/in-colonial-america-patriots-flocked-to-coffeehouses-to-debate-politics-and-sow-the-seeds-of-revolution-180987689/

While tea was a reflection of America’s Colonial heritage, consuming coffee was considered both a patriotic alternative and an act of outright defiance against British rule in the aftermath of the Boston Tea Party.

However, it was coffeehouses themselves—defined simply as places where men of all backgrounds and statuses could come together and converse about a wide range of topics over coffee, chocolate, tea and sometimes alcohol—that served as breeding grounds for political discussions and resistance against the British.

You'll be wanting to look for your nearest Starbucks.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 3 pts · 260d

You microwave a cup of water for 3 minutes.

Or use the coffee pot and make coffee, like an American.

MrPoletki@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 259d

They have a machine that does it for you, it's voice activated, but it's a bit naff. Take the phone on your desk, dial zero and instruct it to bring boiling water to your room for the purpose of brewing tea. Then, for a small charge it will arrive 10 - 45 minutes later.

e0qdk@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 260d (2 replies)

Depending on the hotel they might have hot water in the lobby or wherever they serve breakfast.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 260d

Hot water <> boiling water

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 260d

Hot water <> boiling water

Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 259d

Lol lucky you even had a microwave

DeICEAmerica@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 259d
[ removed ]
umt@lemmynsfw.com · 0 pts · 260d
>Be british.
>Food on my island has no flavor.
>Conquer half the planet looking for spices.
>Accidentally find tea leaves along the way.
>Adopt tea as national drink.
>FFW
>All the brits with ambition and ability don't want to return from conquered lands.
>No one on this inbred island brave enough to cook with spices.
>Emprie crumbles.
>Travel to former colonies to experience sun and flavor.
>They let me enter for some reason.
>Go to hotel.
>It's not like home.
>wtf
Beetschnapps@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 260d (4 replies)

Is this the point where you are the traveler who cannot adapt? I kid as this is a minor issue to address and you deserve tea.

I don’t know but every instance I’ve been told is that I’m the traveler, Im the asshole… I am the person who should buck the fuck up… not because I’ve done anything wrong but assumptions were made.

I’m well travelled and appreciate all cultures but when I receive European travelers they mock me incessantly about the imperial system while I smile and nod…

cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · -1 pts · 260d

No, this is a unique case of two dog shit cultures smashing into each other. If in doubt I'm going to side with the invader.¹

So if you dont mind it being slightly coffee flavored, you can put tea bags in the drip coffee machine. Puts boiling water on leaves. But as mentioned they dont really clean the insides of those-it's sanitary enough with the boiling water, but youll still get some coffee contamination. On the plus side, the Lipton twigsnroots tastes about the same as the cheap coffee already.

¹what the fuck else do you call someone from either of these cultures when they go outside?

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 260d (2 replies)

Maybe a lack of kettle isn’t anything bigger than camping… assuming you can do that.

Are you advising a camping stove in a hotel room?

Beetschnapps@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 260d (1 reply)

No sweet pea… just noting any number of ways to find hot water and poking holes in a reliance of tea?

Think of US tourists who fail to adapt to local culture and raise a stink…

Then imagine the same but based around tea time… then imagine the same folks mocking you for not being metric.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 260d

Oh yes, it's exactly equivalent to US tourists wanting their Starbucks.

Although boiling water is much more universal than a pumpkin spiced oat milk latte.