Can't put the laptop down because he's next to a pool to free up at least one hand.
The best I can advise for him is to chew up the cigar and chase it down with the espresso martini. Then throw the laptop into the sea like a discus and get into the pool to wait for the authorities to charge him with littering.
I don't get the grind mindset at all - look at me! Be like me! Bust ass 24/7, hustle hustle hustle, sleep is for losers, carbs are for losers, relationships that aren't profitable are for losers...... it's all worth it though so you can be on vacation in some exotic place like me!!!........... (and not even be able to put work down for one second to enjoy your fucking drink and be oblivious of the views you worked for) Like who thinks this sounds awesome except 15 year old boys?
Idk, I work out a lot and have done pretty well on low carb. I would gas if I did, like, a crossfit workout. But my top end power and all day endurance were the same or better, and I had some really cut abs.
For myself, I found there was really no downside. Except no beer and pizza. So not worth it.
Sounds like you are a beginner or intermediate and never did a real bulk before. Once you reach a certain FFMI you can't really build more muscle mass without carbs
I've certainly never done a real bulk before. But I mostly train for strength, not hypertrophy, since my goal is rock climbing, not bodybuilding. So my reps in any of the big lifts have almost never gone over about 5
Are you kidding me? There's hundreds of young men everywhere that have no idea how to use a laptop or cigars, but love pools and fancy drinks. This is perfect for them.
How come carbs are expensive?
Dried goods(pasta, rice, buckwheat, oats) and vegetables(potatoes, carrots) are one of the cheapest foods available. Potatoes being one of the most satiating foods as well.
Dont get me wrong, im not criticizing your choice. Just curious over the reasoning behind it.
We do it cheap hide our money in a heap
Send it home and make em study
Fixing teeth, I got family, a friend in need
A hand to throw the gasoline
A mobile phone hooked up to the scene
Hello my frind yes it's me
Dont be scared there's somethin going on
Im gettin money since I grown
Could be dash go out and hussel em
But I hate money coz it makes me numb
Hussel hussel hussel
Grind grind grind
Why has everyone got hussel on their mind?
Hussel hussel hussel
Grind grind grind
Why has everyone got hussel on their mind?
[AFRIKAN BOY]
You think its tough now,
Come to africa,
Out there we are grinding like pepper,
You can catch me on the motorway,
Selling sugar water and pepper,
I rep Africa not Miami,
Hustle hustle with m.i.a,
I'm broke I've got indefinite stay,
You can't touch me like leprosy,
I hustle tough from here to sri lanka,
My mum told me to be an accountant,
Bun that I wanna work in a corner shop,
Contact sugu he's got the contacts mayne,
I'm illegal I don't pay tax tax,
EMA yes I'm claiming that that,
Police I try to avoid them,
They catch me hustling they say deport them,
Hussel hussel hussel [2x]
Grind grind grind
Why has everyone got hussel on their mind?
Hello my friend, hello my friend
Yes it's me
4 by 3 ,3 buy 3 , buy 1 song get 1 free
Maybe me, a bootleg cd colour tv or dvd
We got barrels in the sea
Its big enough to take a whole family
We drum on it
Jun cha cha gegujun cha
Jun cha cha gegujun cha
Come sit by me, let me tell u we
Don't do bling but we do white tee
Up some jungle up some tree
One second , my phones ringing
Its my friend habibi
He then went drop called me
Cheap moroccan got no credit than me
Ya'll got less credit than me
I keep that tab at a shop like a gee
Coz without me there'll be no chocolate hershey
Hussel hussel hussel [6x]
Grind grind grind
Why has everyone got hussel on their mind?
You don't need hands to smoke a cigar that's already lit and in your mouth. And if you're really talented, you can still drink with the cigar in your mouth and type on the laptop with your penis.
The guy may be a poser but this is such a 'I don't drink or smoke' post.
It's a martini glass, you can hold it with your pinkie. It's very easy to smoke and drink with one hand. You can even do it with a full sized glass:
Then, when you want to smoke, you extend the two fingers holding the cigar/cigarette and you can take the end in your mouth. You only need your thumb and two lower fingers to hold the glass.
I think what we have here is a case of 'haters gonna hate'.
I'm sure the guy is a douche, based on my complete stereotyping him from one picture, so I'm sure there's something more substantive to criticize him for than 'he's using both of his hands.'
He can defintely still drink through the other side of his mouth. He can also puff and chuff on the cigar without his hands. His laptop is all voice activated and he's trained it to understand his slurred and mumbled speech.
The alpha male, ladies. Can't even unhook a bra strap with one hand because he's too busy holding his laptop and drink. Can't go down on you because he has a cigar which could leave you with a nasty burn. He's also absent-minded, and didn't remember to wear a shirt. Look out! What's that on his head?! Oh, wait. It's his hair.
Wake up 4 in the morning, go for a run, and then to the gym. Don't eat breakfast or lunch because that just interrupts your nonstop hustle. That sort of thing.
My guess on his thinking:
Need laptop to look like I’m an entrepreneur.
Laptop can’t hide my abs so hold with right hand.
Need my biceps to look big so need something else in my left hand that doesn’t block my abs.
Cigar to bring attention to my mouth once they’re done looking at my biceps and abs.
He looks like a twat but like it's not hard to smoke and hold a glass with the same hand. Assuming he's watching a video on the laptop I don't really see the issue.
88 Comments
somewhiteguy@reddthat.com · 148 pts · 136d
Can't put the laptop down because he's next to a pool to free up at least one hand.
The best I can advise for him is to chew up the cigar and chase it down with the espresso martini. Then throw the laptop into the sea like a discus and get into the pool to wait for the authorities to charge him with littering.
homes@piefed.world · 1 pts · 136d
Fmstrat@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 135d
I 100% read deleted by creator as definately a creator and said "that tracks."
lurch@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 135d
it always reminds me of creationism and i picture the commenter attracting the wrath of the gods
lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 87 pts · 136d
I don't get the grind mindset at all - look at me! Be like me! Bust ass 24/7, hustle hustle hustle, sleep is for losers, carbs are for losers, relationships that aren't profitable are for losers...... it's all worth it though so you can be on vacation in some exotic place like me!!!........... (and not even be able to put work down for one second to enjoy your fucking drink and be oblivious of the views you worked for) Like who thinks this sounds awesome except 15 year old boys?
zewm@lemmy.world · 59 pts · 136d
That’s literally the target demographic. You answered your own question.
lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 28 pts · 136d
5 years ago I would have agreed with you but I now know several adult men in this sphere...
CainTheLongshot@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 136d
Some would argue they are still 15yo boys in mindset.
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 136d
Ha! I stopped at 12 and avoided that shit.
zewm@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 136d
Mentally speaking…
radix@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 136d
Awww, they're growing up!
Last I heard, everyone is twelve.
frank@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 136d
Fuck, that knowyourmeme page has some funny examples
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 136d
Andrew Tate basically crystalized this whole thing... by pretending he was Morpheus from the Matrix.
His solution to 'escape the Matrix'... was to be the most diehard bluepill imaginable.
Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.
ech@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 136d
Pretending they're Morpheus when they're all just Cyphers.
lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 135d
sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 135d
The low quality of this gif combined with me never watching the Matrix left me confused for a little bit
Anivia@feddit.org · 7 pts · 136d
No one who actually works out properly say this, it's the exact opposite. You need a ton of carbs if you work out
blarghly@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 136d
Idk, I work out a lot and have done pretty well on low carb. I would gas if I did, like, a crossfit workout. But my top end power and all day endurance were the same or better, and I had some really cut abs.
For myself, I found there was really no downside. Except no beer and pizza. So not worth it.
Anivia@feddit.org · 2 pts · 136d
Sounds like you are a beginner or intermediate and never did a real bulk before. Once you reach a certain FFMI you can't really build more muscle mass without carbs
blarghly@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 135d
I've certainly never done a real bulk before. But I mostly train for strength, not hypertrophy, since my goal is rock climbing, not bodybuilding. So my reps in any of the big lifts have almost never gone over about 5
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 6 pts · 136d
Are you kidding me? There's hundreds of young men everywhere that have no idea how to use a laptop or cigars, but love pools and fancy drinks. This is perfect for them.
MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 136d
You mean the Roblox machine?
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 1 pts · 136d
Is it no longer the Nintendo?
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 136d
What did carbs ever do to them? Those are necessary macronutrients and a good source of fast energy.
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 136d
I’m not team low carb but it is the one macronutrient you don’t need. But you feel like shit without them. So
Widdershins@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 136d
I've been low crab for a while now. Shit's expensive.
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 2 pts · 136d
How come carbs are expensive?
Dried goods(pasta, rice, buckwheat, oats) and vegetables(potatoes, carrots) are one of the cheapest foods available. Potatoes being one of the most satiating foods as well.
Dont get me wrong, im not criticizing your choice. Just curious over the reasoning behind it.
TheBenCommandments@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 136d
Maybe they meant to say that being low carb is expensive because all they buy is protein?
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 135d
Fair point, that would make more sense.
Widdershins@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 135d
I meant to say crabs 🦀 are expensive. I would eat them every day but that is an expensive hobby around here.
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 136d
Fair point, fats can easily replace it, but it still is rather useful for when quick bursts of energy are needed and the feeling part as well.
punksnotdead@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 135d
Relevant song from 2007, Hussel by M.I.A.:
https://youtu.be/k3nZkqDARvM
lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 135d
Now it'll be in my head all morning lol
baines@lemmy.cafe · 1 pts · 136d
he was born rich and has a personal trainer, chef and no job
rich people are not special
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 66 pts · 136d
Eh, you might be able to puff the cigar without hands, depending on your diaphragm/facial strength.
Also, this is apparently possible:
baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de · 16 pts · 136d
back when talent was still talented \s
danc4498@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 136d
Also, if he is watching something on his laptop, he doesn’t need to touch anything.
Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 136d
Speak for yourself
Archimedes@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 69d
I think he might be skipping face day
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 69d
Now that is a very stupid joke, that got a laugh out of me... oh god, I'm very rapidly 'dadifying'.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 41 pts · 136d
You don't need hands to smoke a cigar that's already lit and in your mouth. And if you're really talented, you can still drink with the cigar in your mouth and type on the laptop with your penis.
RaoulDuke85@piefed.social · 1 pts · 136d
I type with my weenus.
Tja@programming.dev · 1 pts · 135d
Okay chandler.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 36 pts · 136d
Shouldn't he have a catboy in a maid outfit holding his drink/laptop for him?
What's the point of having that torso if you're not pulling catboys in maid outfits?
Seriously, why go to the effort?
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 136d
One can be asexual and still appreciate catboys in maid outfits so there is no excuse!
FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 136d
The guy may be a poser but this is such a 'I don't drink or smoke' post.
It's a martini glass, you can hold it with your pinkie. It's very easy to smoke and drink with one hand. You can even do it with a full sized glass:
Then, when you want to smoke, you extend the two fingers holding the cigar/cigarette and you can take the end in your mouth. You only need your thumb and two lower fingers to hold the glass.
OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 135d
Also if he's watching a video on the laptop he doesn't need to use the keyboard or mouse
HereIAm@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 135d
Sigma males don't watch videos though, they create them /s
FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 135d
I think what we have here is a case of 'haters gonna hate'.
I'm sure the guy is a douche, based on my complete stereotyping him from one picture, so I'm sure there's something more substantive to criticize him for than 'he's using both of his hands.'
tipicaldik@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 136d
'round here we call them "fucking posers".
FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 136d
He can defintely still drink through the other side of his mouth. He can also puff and chuff on the cigar without his hands. His laptop is all voice activated and he's trained it to understand his slurred and mumbled speech.
metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 136d
idiomaddict@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 136d
That feels even sadder, somehow
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 136d
The alpha male, ladies. Can't even unhook a bra strap with one hand because he's too busy holding his laptop and drink. Can't go down on you because he has a cigar which could leave you with a nasty burn. He's also absent-minded, and didn't remember to wear a shirt. Look out! What's that on his head?! Oh, wait. It's his hair.
cmhe@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 136d
Is this some kind of modernized take on the 'Dining philosophers problem'?
Guy doesn't need friends to get himself into an deadlock.
Scotty_Trees@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 136d
I see this is funny as this is just a stupid waste of my time
Sxan@piefed.zip · 12 pts · 136d
What's an "Instagram growth guru?"
HereIAm@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 135d
Wake up 4 in the morning, go for a run, and then to the gym. Don't eat breakfast or lunch because that just interrupts your nonstop hustle. That sort of thing.
gmtom@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 135d
Basically rich kids who lie on Instagram so people pay them not to work
Sxan@piefed.zip · 0 pts · 133d
Do rich kids need to get paid to do anyþing? I guess you can never be rich enough. Sounds like it's as much for validation and ego as anyþing.
zerobot@lemmy.wtf · 7 pts · 136d
plot twist thats a huge straw, not a cigar, he is watching a funny animal compilation video and drinking kool aid
4am@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 136d
Taskmaxxing
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 136d
He’s also on the wrong side of the infinity pool.
WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 136d
When you grind all the time you're in the infinity while the losers are in the pool. #Grind5eva #mydadscigarsmakemesickohgodwhydididothis
zerobot@lemmy.wtf · 5 pts · 136d
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 136d
You can hold the cigar with a forefinger and drink.
Just as messed up that this guy is apparently on vacation yet needs to be available on his work laptop. Has to be an American.
Beth@piefed.social · 4 pts · 136d
Those aren’t even gray jogging pants.
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 136d
Heh. Explains why he couldn't put a shirt on. The real mystery though are the pants.
HerrVorragend@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 136d
He is just a regular slavic person, no mystery here
Tja@programming.dev · 5 pts · 135d
As a Slavic person, I'm offended. No self-respecting Slavic person will get caught without at least three stripe pants.
Techranger@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 135d
H A R D B A S S
miraclerandy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 136d
My guess on his thinking: Need laptop to look like I’m an entrepreneur. Laptop can’t hide my abs so hold with right hand. Need my biceps to look big so need something else in my left hand that doesn’t block my abs. Cigar to bring attention to my mouth once they’re done looking at my biceps and abs.
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 136d
Poor guy can't even afford a phone
Sly2@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 136d
Hold the laptop upright. Put the glass on the laptop, smoke the cigar and drink from the glass alternating with the free hand.
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 136d
I would have just typed with the bottom of the glass and drank/smoked with opposite sides of the mouth.
Sly2@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 136d
"Drinking with opposite sides of the mouth" great title for a book lol
welfare_wizard@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 136d
I love how he doesn't even know how to one hand a laptop
miraclerandy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 136d
That how you hold a work laptop, not a personal laptop. The fact that it’s near water means he cares even less about that thing.
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 136d
And if he actually starts choking or coughing from the smoke, he’ll probably end up dropping his laptop or his drink into the pool.
aesthelete@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 136d
Resplendent606@piefed.social · 1 pts · 136d
George Carlin on Cigars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY1eXnbB1Mg
BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 136d
He looks like a twat but like it's not hard to smoke and hold a glass with the same hand. Assuming he's watching a video on the laptop I don't really see the issue.
homes@piefed.world · 0 pts · 136d
he's so hot, I will do literally anything for him
4am@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 136d
when he show up to the date and look nothing like his profile pic
homes@piefed.world · 2 pts · 136d
Once upon a time, there was a place called gay.com. When they didn’t know how to lie yet.
Sly2@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 136d
He looks like a toddler lol
homes@piefed.world · 2 pts · 136d
Boo
starik@lemmy.zip · -5 pts · 136d
He’s not trying to do any of those things. He’s trying to pose for a picture, and doing fine.
texture@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 136d
...... ohhh