Ukraine shuts down arms network that supplied weapons to Steven Seagal

https://kyivindependent.com/ukraine-shuts-down-arms-network-that-supplied-weapons-to-steven-seagal/

553 points · 104 comments · view on lemmy.world

104 Comments

Maiq@piefed.social · 117 pts · 116d (26 replies)

Seagal's wikipedia page reads like he's in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 116d (11 replies)

Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.

Emphasis added for clarity.

NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social · 43 pts · 116d (8 replies)

Hey man, he sometimes stands up in his latest movies.

AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 116d (2 replies)

SFX have gotten so good that you can barely hear the grunting.

ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 116d (1 reply)

Wouldn't even have to use SFX to be convincing. Just dump a few hundred pounds of dog shit on a little trolley, put a stupid toupee on top, and wheel it around slowly on some rope. Nobody would tell the difference.

fartographer@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 116d

I'm trying to imagine this, but my mind keeps showing me Steven Seagal...

radix@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 116d (1 reply)

They really are good at painting out wire work in movies these days.

NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social · 10 pts · 116d

I hope that's not the case. One example in this video someone posted the other day, he's doing a sex scene sat down and fully clothed. He's basically a marionette at this point.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 9 pts · 116d

VFX at its limits

Archer@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 116d

Walks fatly around corners, even

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 116d

I bet it's ai

EpeeGnome@feddit.online · 14 pts · 116d (1 reply)

Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the running [slow shuffling walk] for biggest shitbag actor award.

Corrected method of movement.

luthis@lemmy.nz · 10 pts · 116d

Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the slow shuffling walk for biggest shitbag "actor" award.

LordMayor@piefed.social · 37 pts · 116d (11 replies)

Have you seen him lately? He hasn’t run for anything in a long time. It’s actually funny if you watch his later movies, he’s mostly sitting down through the whole thing.

SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 116d (2 replies)

What the hell happened to him? Wasn't he like a martial arts guy for real in the 80s?

ImADifferentBird@piefed.blahaj.zone · 21 pts · 116d

He was never as great a martial artist as he thought he was (just ask Gene LeBell), but he at least used to be... you know... mobile.

He got old. And soft. And round.

Eric@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 116d

That was 40 years ago

Maiq@piefed.social · 7 pts · 116d (6 replies)

The last movie I saw with him was Under Siege after release. Left disappointed. Far more of a Jackie Chan/Tony Jaa kind of martial action films.

NABDad@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 116d (4 replies)

The best Steven Seagal movie I've ever seen, really the only good one, was Executive Decision.

Like other Steven Seagal movies, you see he's in it, and you groan and think, "this is going to suck." Then 20 minutes into the movie he's killed off, and you can relax and enjoy the rest.

toynbee@piefed.social · 9 pts · 116d (3 replies)

I liked Exit Wounds, in which he demonstrated that the fastest way to steal a car is by using a key fob.

In all fairness, that's the only thing I remember about that movie and I'm pretty sure I've never seen anything else with him in it. Excluding Space Ice YouTube videos.

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 116d

That one had a pretty good cast outside of Seagal himself. Same director also did Romeo Must Die and Cradle 2 the grave with some of the same cast, but no Seagal. Those are slightly better movied since... No Seagal lol

InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 116d (1 reply)

in which he demonstrated that the fastest way to steal a car is by using a key fob.

Space Ice is that you?

toynbee@piefed.social · 1 pts · 116d

It's not, but I did reference his videos in the next line!

Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 116d

Under Siege was only worth watching, just to see Erika Eleniak.

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 116d

Yet boomers will clap and call it art

Hasherm0n@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 116d

Behind the bastards (podcast) had a good two part episode on him.

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 116d

The bar is high, but he's definitely in the running.

psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 70 pts · 116d (7 replies)

How has this rancid bratwurst not ended up in the Trump administration by this point?

Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 36 pts · 116d (2 replies)

And give up his position in Putin's administration? No way.

Susaga@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 116d

Eh, Putin's in charge of both anyway, so there's not much difference.

nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 116d

Why not both?

BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 116d

Maybe he doesn't like kids 🤷‍♀️

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 116d (1 reply)

He's too busy attending Putin's parades, which is something he literally does

XTL@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 114d

He outranks trump already.

Akasazh@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 116d

Hey I'm going you need you to be more respectful of bratwursts here.

Adderbox76@lemmy.ca · 53 pts · 116d (3 replies)

Every time you think this timeline can't get any more nonsensical and inane, it throws a "Steven Seagal is a gun runner for Russia" curve ball at you.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 116d (2 replies)

So why isn't he in the Trump cabinet?

Adderbox76@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 116d

His ego didn't fit through the door.

selokichtli@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 115d

Is he also a pedo?

SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 116d (2 replies)

My first aikido masters were former students of Sensei Fat. They refused to speak of it. He must have been a real piece of work, even then.

cabillaud@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 115d (1 reply)

That makes you the disciple of Steven Seagal's disciple. Awesome.

XTL@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 114d

The grand disciple of Steven Seagal.

Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 116d (8 replies)

Anyone got a link to that video where he's fighting and older, but all of his opponents are falling down with barely any effort? It wasn't a movie but a dojo setting from what I remember.

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 116d (4 replies)
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 116d (1 reply)

No, the one I remember seeing he's all fat and bloated and stationary in a white gui. Opponents are running at him and he's barely doing anything, but the people running at him are obviously taking a fall. Maybe I imagined it all.

Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 9 pts · 116d

No, I remember seeing that. I think it was a news clip from Russia.

ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 116d

Top comment lol:

Unfortunately, people don't voluntarily flip over on the real world.

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 116d

I'm gonna go on a tangent here.

While that is obviously what's called compliant demonstrations, there is a degree of misconception about what a training partner is going to be doing during active sparring, or non compliant training.

See, grappling arts in general, as well as arts that feature throws and joint manipulations, include training in how to either counter or mitigate the effectiveness of the techniques being used. For one, if you run into it ina competition or real fight, knowing how to counter is always a plus. But training itself is risky. Even a really chill, friendly dojo means that at some point, you'll be hitting the ground, or having your body twisted.

So, you learn not just how to fall safely, but to roll, flip, or otherwise use your body to reduce the effectiveness of a throw or joint manipulation. And when you're doing that, it kinda looks similar to what the performers are doing in that video, just a good bit more energetic.

Those aikidoka throwing themselves around aren't just faking it to make segal look competent. They're using good techniques to counter the moves being performed, if it were all real, active sparring.

Tbh, when it comes down to the techniques being performed, he's not even that bad. They're being applied correctly, if with less than ideal footwork and mechanics. The problem isn't that segal doesn't so aikido well, it's that he's a fake in other ways, and aikido has never been a combat system. To phrase it the way some folks active in martial arts say it, it's a do, not a jutsu. And that's true. Aikido is less about fight training than it is self development. There's nothing wrong with that at all. It just isn't the same thing as something like jujitsu where there is fight focused training and methodology.

It could be. Aikijutsu exists. And some aikido is taught/trained with active resistance and cross training with other arts. When done that way, it's not as bad as people make it out to be, though I'd still argue there's better ways to reach a given degree of self defense or sport combat effectiveness.

But, yeah, that video is essentially an ego stroking demo, not even an actual demo of aikido techniques.

inari@piefed.zip · 8 pts · 116d

Cumtown has a great bit about his movies: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4

whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 116d (1 reply)
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 116d

That was hilarious, thank you sir!

joe_archer@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 116d (6 replies)

What the hell is going on with his hair?

Madison420@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 116d

It's fake as fuck and he decided to go for the lupin the third look.

Hubi@feddit.org · 22 pts · 116d

It's 3D printed

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 116d

It's Lego

ImADifferentBird@piefed.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 116d

It's AI generated.

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 116d

ChapulinColorado@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 116d

He was auditioning to be Eddie Munster on a possible spinn-off series.

Zahille7@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 116d (2 replies)

Why would Seagal need weapons?

SouthFresh@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 116d

To defend the VantaBlack he's spraying on his head

frank@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 116d

He's a massive Putin daddy's boy. I'm guessing so he can give them to Russia

nosuchanon@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 116d

The OG gravey seal.

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 116d

Imagine being such a shitty dictator that you have to hang out with the likes of 2020s Steve Seagal 😂

Zagam@piefed.social · 20 pts · 116d (9 replies)

This is hands down the best thing Seagal has ever been in.

https://youtu.be/3aCMTpJx2cs

kambusha@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 116d (3 replies)

Bobby Fingers! Been a while since the last one.

e8CArkcAuLE@piefed.social · 6 pts · 116d (1 reply)

also he deleted/unlisted quite a few videos. for example the one where he makes the contact less paying eye and the one where he goes to Turkey to implant one but hair to his scalp.

they are still available in reel format on his insta.

khannie@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 116d

Ah I'm bummed to hear that. I just came across him and watched Segal and the drunk Mel Gibson one. I was hoping for more as I wheezed laughing the whole time but it's been nearly a year since his last listed one.

Even got this text from my wife in bed...

Just checking you're ok you're laughing yeah? X

Zagam@piefed.social · 4 pts · 116d

Yeah. I wish he'd post more, but I don't want him to rush anything or become too mainstream either.

Speculater@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 116d (3 replies)

Well, I wasn't expecting to watch a man build a diorama today! That's amazing.

Almacca@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 116d (2 replies)

Me neither. Nor did I expect it to be that funny.

ImADifferentBird@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 116d (1 reply)

He has a number of diorama build videos on his channel that are all great.

Also, he built a rowboat shaped like Jeff Bezos' head.

Almacca@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 116d

I'll check them out. He's pretty entertaining. The gentle lilting Irish accent makes you think it's just going to be a boring narration, but then he drops some hilarious bit and you're hooked. The bit with his friend's Segal and Glover impressions made me laugh out loud.

ETA: The Bezos boat video is one of the best things I've ever seen on YouTube. Everyone should watch it.

khannie@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 116d

Omg that is fucking amazing. I'm rolling around here.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 116d

Why can't we (as in civil society) drone bomb steven seagal?

Gammelfisch@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 116d

The traitor and sack of shit should be on the frontlines.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 116d (1 reply)

Do we know the status of Steven Seagal's nuclear program?

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 116d

I've heard he's weeks away from having a nuclear bomb.

UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 116d

Fat vampire

SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 116d (2 replies)

That has to be a wig... Right?

phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 116d

I think it's Magneto's helmet

El_Scapacabra@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 116d

I don't remember where I saw it because it was a while ago, but there's at least one picture online that clearly shows that his "hair" (most of it at least, definitely that point on his forehead) is spray painted on. Poorly.

aesthelete@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 116d (1 reply)

Is that what he's eating?

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 116d

Russian pumpernickel parties with Tucker Carlson

YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 116d (1 reply)

It’s Ming the Merciless!

ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 116d

In Jumbovision!

luthis@lemmy.nz · 9 pts · 116d (9 replies)

Why would Putin care about this guy at all? Wouldn't it be worse for his image?

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 116d (6 replies)

The US has a long and storied history of producing high profile weirdos that get trapped in a moment of international policy, like a mosquito in amber, and just keep hanging out with a foreign government we re-designated as The Enemy decades ago.

Seagal has Putin. Dennis Rodman was tight with Kim Jung il. Johnny Depp is good friends with Mohammad bin Salman. Gal Gadot is a perennial Netanyahu gadfly. Rob Schneider campaigned for Victor Orban. Oliver Stone and Robert Redford still rep Fidel Castro.

If you go into the back pages of US History, you'll find moments when US officials attempted a thaw or brokered some kind of cooperative pact with a modern enemy nation. And typically, the State Department would send along an affable oaf or enthusiastic wanna-be celeb ambassador to make nice with the foreign head of state.

And then US policy changes, but the celebs don't get the memo.

GripenGal@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 116d (1 reply)

Putin also has Roger Waters :(

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 116d

Waters is far more anti-Ukrainian Nationalist than pro-Putin. But yes, another great example.

Although Ukraine is another great candidate to watch for "Country that ages like milk, but social media dead-enders keep hanging on to" in ten or fifteen years.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 115d (3 replies)

Gal Gadot is Israeli. Robert Redford is dead.

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 115d (2 replies)

Gal Gadot is Israeli

You can be from a country and not like it's national leadership.

Robert Redford is dead.

So is Fidel Castro.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 115d (1 reply)

As she’s Israeli, she doesn’t fit your own criteria of being “produced by America”

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 115d

She's been "produced" by Americans since her 2007 Maxim bikini photo shoot. Gadot is an American celebrity, having been in far more Hollywood pictures for English language audiences than Tel Aviv pictures for Hewbrew speaking ones.

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 116d

Could be trying to boost his popularity with MAGA boomers so they'll support politicians who won't give his favorite bunker a surprise renovation.

ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 116d

It's been rumored that Segal has Russian mob ties and that's how he got into showbusiness.

BluntRadical@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 116d
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DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 116d

Another asshole who I hope fucks off into the aether soon.

Aatube@piefed.social · 6 pts · 116d
TerdFerguson@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 116d (1 reply)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQaYOjZrhIE - Very relevant details from the world's foremost Steven Segal expert.

Sergio@piefed.social · 2 pts · 115d

Space Ice has some quality Seagal ridicule. But imho the very best is Cum Town's: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 116d

He is an expert in slap-fighting, sit-down style. "Everybody was slap-sit fighting".

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 116d (1 reply)

Terrorist

Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 115d

And Traitor

hopesdead@startrek.website · 3 pts · 116d

Are we sure this isn’t some guerrilla marketing for a movie?

possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 116d
LuminousLuddite@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 116d
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