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355 points · 80 comments · view on lemmy.world

80 Comments

9point6@lemmy.world · 67 pts · 76d (22 replies)

I think this would probably be covered by unsporting behaviour or dangerous play.

There might be some stuff that would consider the ball out of play in this scenario too as no specific player has possession, but that might be a stretch

herrvogel@lemmy.world · 87 pts · 76d (21 replies)

As far as I know it's dangerous play, because you'd be making it impossible for anyone to challenge the ball without things getting dangerous. You're supposed to defend the ball by using your athleticism to fend off your opponents, not by using medieval battlefield tactics to force a siege.

hanke@feddit.nu · 98 pts · 76d (18 replies)

You're supposed to defend the ball by using your athleticism to fend off your opponents, not by using medieval battlefield tactics to force a siege.

Games evolve over time. Get with it or get behind.

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 28 pts · 76d (2 replies)

Yeah, this is coming, whether you like it or not. Anyone opposed is just regressive and afraid of trying new things and learning new tools. Probably shitty player anyway and scared they won't be able win matches anymore with their mediocre skills in this new world of siege-powered footie.

snooggums@piefed.world · 11 pts · 76d (1 reply)

Siege powered chestie

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 6 pts · 76d

You need to think bigger if you want to keep up. Put Siege™®© into EVERYTHING!

Brummbaer@pawb.social · 7 pts · 76d (4 replies)

Better idea yet, just carry the ball in your hand, much easier and can be done by one person..

hanke@feddit.nu · 8 pts · 76d (2 replies)

Streamlining the game, I like it!

Could mean great savings for team owners. Now they only have to pay one player.

Brummbaer@pawb.social · 7 pts · 76d (1 reply)

We should also give both players cars, more efficient than running.

I'll call that Auto Polo

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_polo

Marcopolo1613@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 76d

Or bumper cars for a good time with friends - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whirlyball

Guttural@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 70d

I think some players have already tried this. They named their specific technique "rugby".

backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 76d (3 replies)

Detroit add lions to their defense. Denver rushes while mounted. Chicago doubles down on drafting large, hirsute men for their team.

tpyo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 76d

I had to look up that word:

hirsute /hûr′soo͞t″, hîr′-, hər-soo͞t′/ adjective

Covered with hair; hairy. Covered with stiff or coarse hairs. Rough with hair; set with bristles; shaggy.

Cool!

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 76d (1 reply)

Dallas: YEEHAW!!

backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 76d

Bring back the Oilers!

LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 76d (3 replies)

But they don't allow siege cannons and mortars in stadiums :(

Those damn woke are taking our guns away, it is not even modern football without artillery.

Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 76d

Yet*

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 75d

They're overrated anyway. The true art of siegecraft will always be in the earthworks.

itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 75d

Why are you trying to cross the field with the Ball when you can just use a trebuchet, arguably the best siege weapon?

MeThisGuy@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 76d

you have exactly 10 seconds to leave the field at the nearest point of exit (the sidelines)

joyjoy@piefed.social · 2 pts · 76d

Someone's gonna do this and make the game evolve by making them add a new rule.

LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz · 13 pts · 76d

Surround the players with your own and starve them out.

CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 76d
bhamlin@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 76d (13 replies)

Pretty sure this will trigger offsides, unless they also trap an opposing team player and take them with them...

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 44 pts · 76d

A hostage.

groet@feddit.org · 23 pts · 76d (3 replies)

Exactly the opposite. Offsite means it is illegal to pass the ball to a player behind the last defender and instead you must walk the ball around said last defender. This tactic is all walking and zero passing so offsite never applies.

Instead its illegal because you are holding the ball. Every move where the ball is stuck for more than like a second is a foul.

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 12 pts · 76d (2 replies)

What if one guy just bounced the ball on his head constantly while the other 10 players surround him tightly?

groet@feddit.org · 18 pts · 76d (1 reply)

Not illegal in theory but easily countered by the enemy team just encircling them or forming a wall. Pushing the enemy team out of the way of the ball bouncer would be a foul.

Also the referee could just call it unsportsmanlike or obstruction of play and give a free kick to the enemy. The referee is basically always allowed to call any bullshit.

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 4 pts · 76d

I think it's not a foul if you're using your whole body. So you just need really big guys to slowly push the wall. And if you can't bribe a referee what are you even doing playing football?

Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 76d (7 replies)

Offsides is the most bullshit rule ever invented. "You're behind all our defenders!!!" Yeah no shit that's because I'm trying to SCORE

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 76d (1 reply)

"How dare you catch us off-guard!!!"

Donjuanme@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 76d

Once you (puck/ball first) cross the line (midfield in soccer, blue line in hockey) you're free to pass it to your teammate, plenty easy to take advantage of them being off guard without being offsides

mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 76d (2 replies)

Yeah, I have similar feelings about hockey. Your team’s offense can’t be in front of the puck until it is on the opposing team’s side of the rink. Which functionally means you can’t pass the puck forwards to the offense, because they can’t be on offense until after the puck has crossed the center line.

The defense was caught with their pants down, because the opposing team managed to get a player behind them, and then managed to pass the puck to them? That should be egg on the defense’s face, not a penalty for the offense.

Donjuanme@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 76d

They came up with it because cherry picking is outrageously boring.

Hathaway@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 75d

Until after the puck crossed center line

This is not the case, it’s the blue line you cannot cross until the puck has. If you attempt a pass from behind the redline, and no one on your team touches it, then, yes, it’s icing. So that you can’t just throw the puck out on defense.

merc@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 74d (1 reply)

Offside is essential to keep the game interesting. Otherwise you just have a big dude who hangs out next to the goal all game and you just launch the ball up to that dude whenever you get possession. There's no strategy, no passing, no running with the ball, no dribbling, just launch it to the big guy.

Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 74d

Just put a defender in front of that guy

eyesaremosaics@lemmy.zip · 36 pts · 76d (8 replies)

It would lead to a whistle and restart the same way you can't just sit on a ball to waste time. Not sure what the rule is called but yeah it's covered in the rules

jpablo68@infosec.pub · 23 pts · 76d (7 replies)

Yeah, there's a rule against that, you can't force the ball to stay with you (like holding it between your legs or in between two people)

tetris11@feddit.uk · 19 pts · 76d (6 replies)

what if they stayed close but never touched, the ball vibrating between them

jpablo68@infosec.pub · 21 pts · 76d (5 replies)

If they could pull that off I would not only be impressed but it wouldn't technically break the rules.

gray@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 76d (3 replies)

hah everything with a temperature is vibrating all the time!

Sorry, bye

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 1 pts · 76d (2 replies)

Is absolute zero not also a temperature? 🤔

Sludgeyy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 76d

Depends how you define temperature.

"There's no such thing as cold"

Something at absolute zero would have zero heat.

If you define temperature as heat then it wouldn't have heat or temperature.

Kind of similar to trying to measure nothing with a ruler. It says 0. There is no length, but is 0mm still a "measurement"?

gray@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 74d

I would say it is a lack of temperature

tetris11@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 76d

the moment robot football becomes a thing, I bet this is the first loophole they come up with

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 30 pts · 76d (14 replies)

I had a similar idea for american football.

  1. Recruit an offensive line entirely of ex-sumo wrestlers
  2. One holds the ball
  3. The rest form a protective ring around them
  4. They casually walk down the field
  5. Anyone who attempts to tackle them is thrown unceremoniously aside like trash
  6. Touchdown!
snooggums@piefed.world · 26 pts · 76d

That is what the offensive line is now and they can't grab anyone to throw them aside because that would be holding.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 76d (5 replies)

american football

I mean, surely the team with the gun wins.

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 76d

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 76d (3 replies)

You're thinking of Pro Thunderball

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpwbvFvn9W0

tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 76d (2 replies)

what show?

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 75d (1 reply)

Upright Citizens Brigade

The original Comedy Central sketch show that spawned the improv group.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 75d

thanks!

mrmacduggan@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 76d (4 replies)

This is literally the point of an offensive line already, you think those boys can't sumo wrestle?

Omgpwnies@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 76d (3 replies)

Not to mention many of them are easily as big as the sumo wrestlers.

Serinus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 76d (2 replies)

Because they're also fast.

Omgpwnies@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 76d

Something about someone the size of a fridge being able to outrun most amateur athletes can be a little unsettling for sure.

mrmacduggan@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 76d

Sumo guys attack and maneuver really fast too. It's just when they hit the open field, the football dudes are going to have a much faster 40m time.

socsa@piefed.social · 2 pts · 76d

I think you would be pretty shocked to see sumo champions next to NFL linemen. They weigh about the same, but the NFL players are 3-4 inches taller on average.

merc@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 74d

Recruit an offensive line entirely of ex-sumo wrestlers

After the first play they're completely exhausted and unable to continue.

Sumo wrestlers are good at sumo wrestling. Those are matches that last between 2 and 30 seconds, after which the wrestler gets about an hour to rest.

mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 28 pts · 76d (3 replies)

Reminds me of the old “change one rule about a sport to make it more entertaining” thing that was popular on AskReddit for a while.

My personal rule change is that the cooler for the ice rink gets turned off ~20 minutes before a hockey game starts, and it turns into a heater instead. Anyone who has ever tried to skate on wet/melting ice knows that you just stick to it like it’s made of clay. All other rules stay the same. As the game progresses, the ice will melt more and more, until the players are basically playing water polo, with like six inches of water on the concrete subfloor.

musubibreakfast@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 76d (2 replies)

I would like to add a rule, if the game goes long then all the hockey sticks are exchanged with samurai swords at the discretion of the referee and when the samurai swords are in play then the first team to reach the zamboni can commandeer it as a combat vehicle

DrSoap@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 75d (1 reply)

This would be an amazing video game with no context going in.

iocase@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 74d

It honestly would and it could use 8 bit graphics and still be amazing

varnia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 25 pts · 76d (1 reply)

You just reinvented Rugby. Wait till you develop that into American Football.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 76d

I've invented the beer commercial just in time!

notabot@piefed.social · 13 pts · 76d

Thus is basically the same as the, now banned, flying wedge in rugby. The manouver aparently lead to twenty two fatalities, as well as inumerable injuries, in a single year.

Bacano@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 76d (1 reply)

Enders Game (of soccer)

Odo@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 76d

"The enemy goal is down."

Calfpupa@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 76d

Shaolin Soccer

csolisr@hub.azkware.net · 8 pts · 75d

What kind of Captain Tsubasa shenanigans are these?

solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 75d (3 replies)

Well the goally could just grab the ball

PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 75d (2 replies)

All players in circle immediately flop and become massively injured, near dead. Cards flicker and flash, going from yellow to red so rapidly, fans see flames and ignite their own (in the stands, just defensively, in case).

Checkmate, goally

solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 75d (1 reply)

Lol. I realized that the red shirts are members of the same team.

Soccer goals are big but I'd assume opposing team could form a barrier

PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 74d

More carnage!

the flopping is relentless...teams of medics rush the field, to no avail...not an injury to be found

(I'm just goofing around to be clear lol)

Soulphite@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 76d

Bold move, let's see how it plays out for 'em, Cotton.

protist@retrofed.com · 6 pts · 76d

New gay porn concept

borQue@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 76d (1 reply)

Well if they keep the ball like that, they'd score together! That way the score would always be even! So we could also choose to leave the ball on the spot and just grab a nice pint in the pub.

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 76d

Yeah, in fact, what is this all for? waves around generally It's all pointless, let's just go to the pub