That doesn’t look like most church style architecture in most of the US, unless it’s in the North East / New England maybe? It almost looks more European. Also a female pastor wearing a collar like that seems unusual for the US. (Maybe Episcopalians do this? Not sure.) maybe these pics don’t even go together. I might guess that shockingly this whole story is fake.
Plenty of Episcopal and Methodist parishes in the US favor neo-Gothic architecture (Kansas is one of the more prominent places for this, believe it or not) and, Episcopal clergy are known for wearing clerical collars (as are Lutherans, some Methodists and, increasingly, Presbyterian). Lutherans tend to prefer the "pastor" designation (though in the Episcopal Church, women priests will go by this out of an aversion to being called "Mother"). I'd assume that the image on the left is likely not an image of the aforementioned cleric. And while the story might be fake, it sounds more like this is a story of sexual assault/abuse where someone in authority is taking advantage of someone compromised by mental illness.
I don't know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then... Church things.
To whom ut may concern: my two demons are starting to bicker amongst themselves and they are no longer welcome. Any aid in having them displaced is welcome.
If I knew there were bjs to be had I'd have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.
The pastor himself renounced the Presbytery on 25 January a day before a church trial was due to start and moved to a gated retirement community in the nearby town of Lakewood.
You decide if this is relevant or not, the dude asking for the church is called "building caves" in spanish, or "opening caves" if you prefer due to context
We were lied to by ID Software on how an expert demon slayer looks like!!
I'd ask for my money back, but I don't think they'd accept a pregnancy test that I play Doom on back...
Looking at that kind smile, I feel like if I can just get some exorcism of my demons from her while getting my mental health treated by counselor Troi, I can finally get my life together.
the sin of Lust, in this case via sexual intercourse before the unification of man and woman as one and without the purpose of reproduction, corrupts our soul, our mind, our body and our very nature and destroys our relationship with Christ and our community
throwing rocks at a puppy may be “fun”, but question, is it right?
Well, I mean, textually yes? Exodus 21:28 - you're to kill an animal (often translated as an ox) that kills a person by stoning to death.
But I agree that it's a stupid example - possibly because life is far too complex to be reduced to a set of simple, contextless rules and categories like 'sin'
Hu-man-it-ee vit-ay? My goodness, what a new and novel document I have never encountered before. This surely will change my outlook!
... Yeah, listen, Paulmbo #6 sat by preaching about morality while blithely presiding over the foundation of a pedophilia ring so massive it makes epstien look like a weekend hobbyist. Not only that, by publishing Humanitae Vitae he's directly responsible for causing the rise of catholic anti intellectualism and the decline of the church into the joke of an institution it is today. He's a reaaaaaally bad choice for a source.
I see you've simply ignored my comment where I made you aware of the Catholic Church agreeing that sex is important for emotional bonding between partners and does not necessarily have to be for the purpose of reproduction. Cool.
Then by the Allfather you must be committing the sin of being a buzzkill. Let folks have their holy blowjobs, if ya need to go to a priest for that you prolly don't have much else going for ya.
Maybe to you it corrupts the soul but to me it'd count as a holy blowjob, fornication ain't a sin in my faith. Lest you couldn't tell by my invocation of the Allfather let me make it far simpler for ya, I worship Odin the chief god of the Aesir not Yahweh or Christ or Muhammad. So from my perspective who gives a fuck if some priest or priestess gives blowjobs to their congregation, sacred prostitution used to be a thing even in early Christianity let alone outside of your religious structure.
Look up early synchrotism between Aphrodite/ Isis/ Venus cults and early/ proto Christianity unironically interesting shit but also abscure as fuck.
Also I've taken a long look at your Christ and found him lacking even if he is respectable. But I have willingly chosen to follow the Allfather, I rarely back out of my choices.
138 Comments
darkdemize@sh.itjust.works · 189 pts · 55d
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 108 pts · 55d
Halp my pp is haunted.
MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works · 44 pts · 55d
Good sir, thou hast come unto my godly chamber. I shall now excise thy unholy member!
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 63 pts · 55d
And where would one find this repugnant den of heretical iniquity? So one can avoid it, of course.
TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip · 61 pts · 55d
Who the fuck was the snitch!
RagingRobot@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 55d
No one said she was in any kind of trouble for it. I think this is just marketing
w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 55d
My wife, unfortunately.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 55d
For context - https://youtu.be/ujuGKvMSeWA
tetris11@feddit.uk · 19 pts · 55d
What's fellti?
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 18 pts · 55d
That's a grown-up thing, you'll learn soon enough.
Edit: having now watched the clip I see the endless ways I could've answered this better. Goddammit.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 55d
It's supposed to read fellatio, but whoever captioned this tried to censor it, was just the only option I found in my 30 second search for this image.
Grimy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 55d
Maybe it's fellti but with the ti in italics though
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 55d
I think it's a kind of pasta
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 54d
Probably some Italian sauce or something. /j
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 45 pts · 55d
Post nut
claritysanctity.adam_y@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 55d
aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 55d
A photo of the church is more than enough for geoguessers to figure it out.
toofpic@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 55d
And said geoguessers are already in heaven
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 55d
Preface: I’m not good at this.
That doesn’t look like most church style architecture in most of the US, unless it’s in the North East / New England maybe? It almost looks more European. Also a female pastor wearing a collar like that seems unusual for the US. (Maybe Episcopalians do this? Not sure.) maybe these pics don’t even go together. I might guess that shockingly this whole story is fake.
FrChazzz@lemmus.org · 4 pts · 55d
Plenty of Episcopal and Methodist parishes in the US favor neo-Gothic architecture (Kansas is one of the more prominent places for this, believe it or not) and, Episcopal clergy are known for wearing clerical collars (as are Lutherans, some Methodists and, increasingly, Presbyterian). Lutherans tend to prefer the "pastor" designation (though in the Episcopal Church, women priests will go by this out of an aversion to being called "Mother"). I'd assume that the image on the left is likely not an image of the aforementioned cleric. And while the story might be fake, it sounds more like this is a story of sexual assault/abuse where someone in authority is taking advantage of someone compromised by mental illness.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 55d
Good info, thanks. A quick google shows there’s several variations on this story. In most of them, the pastor is male.
dellish@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 55d
Ahhh. Well I just discovered my dick demons were psychosomatic, suddenly no treatment required! What a relief.
clucose@lemmy.ml · 26 pts · 55d
She practiced, did she get better?
M0oP0o@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 55d
I don't know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then... Church things.
DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 54d
Could also be one of the guys ratting her out after feeling guilty about going through with it.
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 54d
Maybe he didn't want to gatekeep, in which case, good effort?
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 26 pts · 54d
Hey, try not to slay any demons on the way through the parking lot!
hypeerror@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 54d
In a row?!
Disgruntledbeaver2@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 52d
37?!
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 18 pts · 55d
Um hi I have a demon
KneeTitts@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 55d
My friend Jim... he also has a, demon, in him. ya.
OleFoFa@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 54d
To whom ut may concern: my two demons are starting to bicker amongst themselves and they are no longer welcome. Any aid in having them displaced is welcome.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 16 pts · 55d
That’s just the next thing you do when praying the gay away doesn’t work.
SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 55d
🎶 There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen 🎶
ramius345@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 54d
Deep inside the garden of Eden, I'm standing there with my hard on bleedin'.
https://youtu.be/tX23qUNslJA great song.
slingstone@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 55d
I'm hearing this to the tune of "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" by the Georgia Satellites.
huey_m@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 55d
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 55d
EVERY SPERM IS SAAACRED, EVERY SPERM IS GREAAAAAAT!!!
ieGod@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 54d
Close, but the catholics are misogynist enough that women cannot be pastors.
bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 55d
I'm sure you have to be an acquainted faithful to receive that service
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 8 pts · 55d
If I knew there were bjs to be had I'd have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.
ChanchoManco@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 55d
If you give the church a chance it's a lot less likely to get a bj from a hot priestess than ending up giving the bj to the old crabby man.
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 11 pts · 54d
Demons hate this little trick.
Snapz@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 54d
Demons hate this little
trickprick.Jaeger86@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 55d
Pretty sure I've seen that plot somewhere
Zephyr@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 55d
Hallelujah
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 54d
As an atheist I've suddenly realized that there is a demon living in my penis.
Send help. Specifically this pastor.
pulsey@feddit.org · 4 pts · 54d
No worries, the pope is on the way.
therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 54d
The power of Christ compelled her to swallow hog.
Avicenna@programming.dev · 8 pts · 55d
I am pretty sure there are porn movies with this exact theme
BenLeMan@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
Yes, Semen Demons Part 1-19. It's so good to see the congregation come together.
Fair warning: these are real tearjerkers, so keep tissues handy.
🤜💦 🥲
1984@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 54d
When googling on this, I find more people. Here is a old pastor who did the same:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/pastor-sucking-demons-sex-assault-william-weaver-new-jersey-church-a9011761.html
AEsheron@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
OP is edited, it's the same story.
Aralakh@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 54d
I really hope he actually faced consequences
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 8 pts · 55d
So you should all know that I founding a new church!
The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!
Got a clean bill of health? You're welcome at my church!
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 55d
I have a gluttony demon. This may require repeat appointment-Er, I mean "anointments"
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 54d
We have female pastors now?
rotkehle@feddit.org · 6 pts · 54d
I had a female pastor in my church almost 30 years ago. so yes we have female pastors for a while now.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 54d
Well shiiiiiiiiiit, id assume feminism would make leaps and bounds to gain gender integration in these old institutions
stringere@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 54d
Pastors, not priests. There's differences, like priests can hear confession.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 7 pts · 54d
Remember how Jesus pulled out a demon (or demons) named Legion? They're in me and I desperately need this woman's help. Please. I'm suffering.
Edit: Actually, this could have got me to go to church.
BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 55d
Should've advertised it as an exorcism.
DandomRude@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 55d
ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 55d
Briss+
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 55d
But which church? There are so many disgusting demon sucking pastors.
Tiral@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 55d
999 out of 1,000 you don't want.
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 55d
I'm pretty sure I have demon in me. Where do I apply?
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 55d
Depends. How many piercings?
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 52d
Less than 20
Nagrom@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 55d
That’s what my priest told me he was doing.
Siegfried@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 55d
You decide if this is relevant or not, the dude asking for the church is called "building caves" in spanish, or "opening caves" if you prefer due to context
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 55d
Reckon he likes the music of Henry Churches or Wool of the King?
What about the films of Tony Flags?
omodasonya3@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 54d
Kkk
omodasonya2@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 35d
.
MrChewy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 54d
We were lied to by ID Software on how an expert demon slayer looks like!! I'd ask for my money back, but I don't think they'd accept a pregnancy test that I play Doom on back...
Syltti@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 55d
Take me high and I'll sing. You make everything okay, okay, okay~ (kay, okay, okay~)
We are one in the same. You take all of the pain away, away, away~ (way, away, away~)
Save me, if I be becooome, my demons~
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 55d
For a second there I thought Amandi was wearing a priests collar
Snapz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 54d
The hole-y trinity - two in the front, one in the back
100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it · 1 pts · 54d
Boccaccio could have written this
Snapz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 54d
Undiemon
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 54d
I'm a nontheist, but now I might convert.
Zink@programming.dev · 1 pts · 54d
Looking at that kind smile, I feel like if I can just get some exorcism of my demons from her while getting my mental health treated by counselor Troi, I can finally get my life together.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -1 pts · 55d
hey, protestantism, hows it going?
😦
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 55d
Oh no, not sex!!! Well I never!
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -9 pts · 55d
the sin of Lust, in this case via sexual intercourse before the unification of man and woman as one and without the purpose of reproduction, corrupts our soul, our mind, our body and our very nature and destroys our relationship with Christ and our community
Sin appears to be freedom until you try to stop
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 55d
"Things that are fun are bad, actually"
- Religion.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -6 pts · 55d
"All things that feel good and make you depend on them to the point it is classified a "need" by modern society are good actually"
Just because it is "fun" doesnt mean it is right
"fun" or pleasure should not be a goal
for a group of children, throwing rocks at a puppy may be "fun", but question, is it right?
pleasure ≠ righteousness
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 55d
Well, I mean, textually yes? Exodus 21:28 - you're to kill an animal (often translated as an ox) that kills a person by stoning to death.
But I agree that it's a stupid example - possibly because life is far too complex to be reduced to a set of simple, contextless rules and categories like 'sin'
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -4 pts · 55d
did the puppy kill a person?
and the old testament was fulfilled by Jesus
and it was in preparation of the Messiah
and he came down to Earth, died and was ressurected
who prepares for the groom's arrival even after he has arrived instead of addressing and serving him?
And well, the ten commandments are just the basics that you need to follow
research theology further
and read Humanitae Vitae
for why this kind of stuff is bad
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 55d
Hu-man-it-ee vit-ay? My goodness, what a new and novel document I have never encountered before. This surely will change my outlook!
... Yeah, listen, Paulmbo #6 sat by preaching about morality while blithely presiding over the foundation of a pedophilia ring so massive it makes epstien look like a weekend hobbyist. Not only that, by publishing Humanitae Vitae he's directly responsible for causing the rise of catholic anti intellectualism and the decline of the church into the joke of an institution it is today. He's a reaaaaaally bad choice for a source.
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 4 pts · 55d
I see you've simply ignored my comment where I made you aware of the Catholic Church agreeing that sex is important for emotional bonding between partners and does not necessarily have to be for the purpose of reproduction. Cool.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -2 pts · 54d
?
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -4 pts · 54d
where is your source?
and read humanitae vitae
Sex can be emotionally bonding when in marriage and for the purpose of reproduction, as to produce offspring, but never fall into the vice of hedonism
many have been fooled into thinking sex is a "need"
imagine a world of coke addicts unanimously agreeing that coke is a need
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 1 pts · 54d
Source is my Catholic upbringing.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -1 pts · 54d
"the source is my parents"
and what is your parents source?
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 1 pts · 54d
Catholic upbringing includes a lot more than just "parents". If you won't accept what clergy is saying, I can't help you.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 55d
Then by the Allfather you must be committing the sin of being a buzzkill. Let folks have their holy blowjobs, if ya need to go to a priest for that you prolly don't have much else going for ya.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -7 pts · 55d
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 55d
Maybe to you it corrupts the soul but to me it'd count as a holy blowjob, fornication ain't a sin in my faith. Lest you couldn't tell by my invocation of the Allfather let me make it far simpler for ya, I worship Odin the chief god of the Aesir not Yahweh or Christ or Muhammad. So from my perspective who gives a fuck if some priest or priestess gives blowjobs to their congregation, sacred prostitution used to be a thing even in early Christianity let alone outside of your religious structure.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -5 pts · 55d
proof?
and please do not gamble with your eternal life
Turn to Christ
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 55d
Look up early synchrotism between Aphrodite/ Isis/ Venus cults and early/ proto Christianity unironically interesting shit but also abscure as fuck.
Also I've taken a long look at your Christ and found him lacking even if he is respectable. But I have willingly chosen to follow the Allfather, I rarely back out of my choices.
Iz Wodanaz Weraz
biggeoff@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 54d
Which eternal life should I bet on. The other hells sound worse than the Christian one. Please do not gamble your eternal life and look elsewhere
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 55d
There's pretty much no believers, what are you doing?