The one's on doesn't are the ones who also doesn't at home and if they do they don't put it down afterwards.
Those people need to be forced to lick toilet seats until they learn some basic manners.
Try to find the stand-up show ‘no cure for cancer’ this song is in it and the rest is insanely good,
I want a restaurant only for men, naked men all sitting round a camp fire eating meat, straight off the cow. In fact bring me the whole cow, I’ll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!
Or something like that.
That and therapy,
I’ll give you therapy, therapy is mowing the lawn and crying
Edit;
Found it No cure for cancer
My ex used to laugh about how he would purposefully piss on public toilet seats. Absolute sociopath. I guess Dennis was giving us some screening questions.
I think you’ve got two types of people doing this:
penis people who just plain can not be bothered to lift the seat. The types of folks who bumble through life haphazardly, don’t wear seat belts, let dishes pile up, put the sour cream back in the fridge without putting the lid back on, who never bother to wash their feet or legs in the shower because they think the soap that washes down their body will handle it, people who drink the last of the coffee without making another pot. Selfish, but also kinda physically grody.
vagina people who hover. These people I do not understand.
For a second I thought you'd come up with a new epithet for people who don't hold up their end of the social contract: penis people. I thought, "that's a new and fun way to call someone a dick." 🤔
I always wipe down every seat with enough toilet paper I feel like I'm not going to directly touch any pee. It's just an ingrained habit from decades of living with people who like their toilet seats cold, moist, and yellow.
::: spoiler Tap for NSFW
My least favourite is when it seems like they didn't even pull back the foreskin or something, and just completely cover the entire toilet, seat, and floor, with a fine spray of urine. Lovely. I wipe down everything with like 20 squares of tp and then wash my hands before even doing my business.
:::
When I pee sitting down, I always have some more trickle out when I stand up. That can cause more mess to clean up than the alternative. Is that not a common issue? Do I, like Hank Hill, have a narrow urethra?
We had this problem in a communal bathroom in a dorm I lived in. People were practically coming to blows over it. Turns out that when the toilet flushed, it would spray piss up out of the bowl onto the seat. We all thought it was someone else, but it was really every one of us inadvertently.
This is why I piss into the sink instead. And since I didn't have to touch any surfaces beside my own wiener, I don't even have to worry about washing my hands.
I usually sit to pee; but since there's piss on the seat, I stand and end up contributing more piss to the already pissy seat. It's a vicious cycle of piss.
Ngl, I'm not sure I want to lean against walls either. Public toilets rarely have lids, and even less often are they used when they do have them. So you've got the usual aerosolized poo water landing everywhere.
But I agree that good hand washing fixes half of the problem. The half being trying to aim a penis one handed, then zip up one handed too. I can aim one handed, not so much the zipping lol.
Truth be told though, the types of pathogens involved are fairly low, and they don't all survive well on hard surfaces. But they aren't non existent, and the ones that will transfer that way tend to be the worse ones. Enough so that I don't blame anyone for being upset at a pissy seat, much less a crappy crapper.
Dual stream can be an issue. But when it is, I clean up my fucking piss. People are gonna miss or splatter; a decent human being should clean up after themselves. Most people are not decent human beings.
I work at a place with a lot of people from southeast Asia. It is not uncommon to be in a stall and look over to see the feet of someone stepping into the next stall just disappear as they approach the crapper.
I don't mind them standing on the seat to squat, but for the love of humanity, please clean up the fucken mess afterwards!
Also, our toilets flush pretty assertively and often they will splash up dirty water from the toilet bowl onto the seat and floor as the auto-flush unleashes.
The weird one is the guy who uses it as a fucken bidet... like, Bruh. Nasty.
The restrooms at my workplace can get down right nasty. We get a ton of temp workers (I started out as a temp), and they are given very short breaks from the assembly line. At least 20% do not wash their hands. People carry on phone conversations and scroll TikTok in the stalls. The seats, after their breaks, are usually pretty gross. The floors around the toilets get very gross by the end of their shift.
I loathe that spironolactone makes me thirsty, and in turn makes me need to urinate somewhat often. My hovering game is on point though.
For using the stalls to pee sometimes the urinals are full. As to why I know my wife says im one of the few men who don't leave piss on the toilet. So apparently its common. Not talking just the seat here but the bowl when the seat is up. Like the bowl rim that is parralellel to the floor so it will just sit there and be all. ewwww.
Maybe, but I'm also seeing more men going straight to the toilet stall to pee even though there are several urinals open. And even then, they should lift the seat.
For them what have need to cope with this and no choice about needing to sit.
A small baggie with some surface wipes and some gloves will fit in most pockets with ease. Ideal, no. But it'll get you by for a non optional visit to a public (or badly kept private) toilet
I've seen a lot of cases where people are using the toilet as a urinal. That seems to be where most of the piss is coming from.
That said, if someone can't use a urinal and needs to use a toilet, I don't know why they aren't sitting down on the toilet. I can't think of a condition which in which you can't use a urinal but you can stand and pee onto a toilet seat.
79 Comments
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 18d
I don't want to touch it either, but if you're going to stand in front of a public toilet, just lift the damn seat.
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 19 pts · 18d
And new seats even have a bump out so you can use your feet.
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 18d
User name checks out
fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com · 4 pts · 17d
Its whatever, just wash your hands people.
M137@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 16d
The one's on doesn't are the ones who also doesn't at home and if they do they don't put it down afterwards.
Those people need to be forced to lick toilet seats until they learn some basic manners.
_deleted_@aussie.zone · 30 pts · 18d
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole !
I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the Summer time, saying, "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole !
waz@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 18d
Try to find the stand-up show ‘no cure for cancer’ this song is in it and the rest is insanely good,
Or something like that.
That and therapy,
_deleted_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 18d
lol thanks, I have the CD
waz@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 18d
The video starts with the song, but it’s a 1 hour stand-up show.
Shrubbery@piefed.social · 6 pts · 18d
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs
LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 17d
My ex used to laugh about how he would purposefully piss on public toilet seats. Absolute sociopath. I guess Dennis was giving us some screening questions.
elvith@feddit.org · 2 pts · 18d
No, you're a dick. An asshole would shit on the toilet seat...
paranoid@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 18d
It's lyrics to a song called Asshole by Dennis Leary
QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 18d
I shit in the urinal as god intended
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 18d
They even include a cake as a snack
EchoCranium@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 16d
Oh, de oh de oh!
newton@feddit.online · 1 pts · 17d
Ty,asshole ,nice to meet you.
mbp@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 16d
I've seen this man!!!
neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 22 pts · 18d
I think you’ve got two types of people doing this:
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 36 pts · 18d
People who hover hover because of people who hover.
unknownuserunknownlocation@kbin.earth · 4 pts · 18d
Yo dawg, I heard you like to hover.
Andonyx@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 18d
For a second I thought you'd come up with a new epithet for people who don't hold up their end of the social contract: penis people. I thought, "that's a new and fun way to call someone a dick." 🤔
Andonyx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 18d
yannic@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 17d
Not mildly.
Majorly.
I had part of my digestive tract removed. I can't afford an accident at the urinal.
Zarobi@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 17d
It's fucking gross.
I always wipe down every seat with enough toilet paper I feel like I'm not going to directly touch any pee. It's just an ingrained habit from decades of living with people who like their toilet seats cold, moist, and yellow.
::: spoiler Tap for NSFW My least favourite is when it seems like they didn't even pull back the foreskin or something, and just completely cover the entire toilet, seat, and floor, with a fine spray of urine. Lovely. I wipe down everything with like 20 squares of tp and then wash my hands before even doing my business. :::
datavoid@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 17d
Those uncut savages!
pineapple@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 17d
There is this thing called lifting up the seat. DO IT!
kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 17d
Just sit down to pee like an adult
jestho@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 17d
But there's piss everywhere :(
kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 17d
I tend to cover the seat with toilet paper before sitting, if the toilet seems filthy :D
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 17d
That's a really weird thing to do. My sensory disorder feels violated through the screen.
creamfresh@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 17d
No it’s not.
kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 17d
Thanks :D
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 17d
Are you telling me how my sensory processing disorder should operate? Do you tell paralyzed people how to walk too?
creamfresh@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 16d
No I’m telling you it’s not weird to not want contact with the thigh schmand of 80 different people that lived through the same hot 36deg day.
kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 17d
What's your problem? :D they said covering toilet seats is not weird, they were not commenting on your sensory issues.
kadotux@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 17d
Right. Well, it suits me. Might be weird. :P
Diddlydee@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 17d
I doubt the overwhelming majority of the seat pissers are reading your comment.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 17d
I've literally gone into public bathrooms with no urinals, only stalls, and the seats don't lift up. You have no choice but to aim and pray.
Except I'm not a degenerate and I'll grab some paper and wipe anywhere I missed.
pineapple@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 17d
thank you!
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 17d
No choice? Sit, it's more comfy anyways. Give yourself 1 minute to relax.
mbp@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 16d
When I pee sitting down, I always have some more trickle out when I stand up. That can cause more mess to clean up than the alternative. Is that not a common issue? Do I, like Hank Hill, have a narrow urethra?
collapse_already@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 16d
We had this problem in a communal bathroom in a dorm I lived in. People were practically coming to blows over it. Turns out that when the toilet flushed, it would spray piss up out of the bowl onto the seat. We all thought it was someone else, but it was really every one of us inadvertently.
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 16d
A likely story, seat pisser. J'ACCUSE!
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 17d
How about when there's that bit of filth at the back, center you know came from their ass crack?
It's even worse when you know who it is, because now it's like you have x-ray vision to their ass crack.
RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 16d
People are required to wipe down sweaty gym equipment, they should also be required to wipe down the shitter. IDK why this isn't a thing.
InvalidName2@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 17d
This is why I piss into the sink instead. And since I didn't have to touch any surfaces beside my own wiener, I don't even have to worry about washing my hands.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 17d
I usually sit to pee; but since there's piss on the seat, I stand and end up contributing more piss to the already pissy seat. It's a vicious cycle of piss.
SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 17d
Just lift the fuckin seat to pee then omg
Use your foot for that if you have to
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 17d
Is this only trivial for gen-X?
skeezix@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
Everything is trivial for gen X. Both the older and younger are clueless
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 1 pts · 17d
Then I would have pee on my hand or foot. Gross.
SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 17d
Wow wonder how I am able to do it without that problem then.
village604@adultswim.fan · 4 pts · 17d
Right? This is absolutely a non issue.
I guess unless you're incapable of balancing on one foot for 3 seconds.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 17d
As a reminder to passersby, there are actually people that can't balance on one foot at all. Or even lift it that far.
village604@adultswim.fan · 1 pts · 16d
Exactly, but the vast majority of people could balance on one foot for 3 seconds. There are even walls and a door to balance against.
Or, people could just use the hands they're going to be washing in a few seconds.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 16d
Ngl, I'm not sure I want to lean against walls either. Public toilets rarely have lids, and even less often are they used when they do have them. So you've got the usual aerosolized poo water landing everywhere.
But I agree that good hand washing fixes half of the problem. The half being trying to aim a penis one handed, then zip up one handed too. I can aim one handed, not so much the zipping lol.
Truth be told though, the types of pathogens involved are fairly low, and they don't all survive well on hard surfaces. But they aren't non existent, and the ones that will transfer that way tend to be the worse ones. Enough so that I don't blame anyone for being upset at a pissy seat, much less a crappy crapper.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 17d
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 17d
Well, shoe most places, but I feel you.
northernlights@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 17d
I actually never understood how some guys have apparently a hard time simply aiming. I never had a problem with that in my life myself.
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 17d
Dual stream can be an issue. But when it is, I clean up my fucking piss. People are gonna miss or splatter; a decent human being should clean up after themselves. Most people are not decent human beings.
benderbeerman@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 18d
I work at a place with a lot of people from southeast Asia. It is not uncommon to be in a stall and look over to see the feet of someone stepping into the next stall just disappear as they approach the crapper.
I don't mind them standing on the seat to squat, but for the love of humanity, please clean up the fucken mess afterwards!
Also, our toilets flush pretty assertively and often they will splash up dirty water from the toilet bowl onto the seat and floor as the auto-flush unleashes.
The weird one is the guy who uses it as a fucken bidet... like, Bruh. Nasty.
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 17d
The restrooms at my workplace can get down right nasty. We get a ton of temp workers (I started out as a temp), and they are given very short breaks from the assembly line. At least 20% do not wash their hands. People carry on phone conversations and scroll TikTok in the stalls. The seats, after their breaks, are usually pretty gross. The floors around the toilets get very gross by the end of their shift.
I loathe that spironolactone makes me thirsty, and in turn makes me need to urinate somewhat often. My hovering game is on point though.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 17d
or shit on the toilet seat, or the walls.
Zomg@piefed.world · 4 pts · 18d
Dont look up the Yellow Pee Pee Monster.
Sorry in advance. lf I have to be aware he existed, you do too
HubertManne@piefed.social · 3 pts · 18d
For using the stalls to pee sometimes the urinals are full. As to why I know my wife says im one of the few men who don't leave piss on the toilet. So apparently its common. Not talking just the seat here but the bowl when the seat is up. Like the bowl rim that is parralellel to the floor so it will just sit there and be all. ewwww.
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 2 pts · 18d
Maybe, but I'm also seeing more men going straight to the toilet stall to pee even though there are several urinals open. And even then, they should lift the seat.
HubertManne@piefed.social · 4 pts · 18d
yeah thats kinda wierd. maybe they are shy although then I can't imagine what they do at a ballpark.
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 17d
I avoid public bathrooms for this reason
theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 18d
I don't care about others why should I care when I'll never have to clean or use that toilet again. /s
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 17d
For them what have need to cope with this and no choice about needing to sit.
A small baggie with some surface wipes and some gloves will fit in most pockets with ease. Ideal, no. But it'll get you by for a non optional visit to a public (or badly kept private) toilet
ExperimentalGuy@programming.dev · 2 pts · 17d
This is why I piss in the back tank of the toilet, so the next person peeing never thinks it flushed.
Psythik@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
Ah yes, a good old fashioned upper-decker.
Take a shit up there sometime if you really hate someone.
morgan_423@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
Some people can't use a urinal. Medical issues.
That being said, they should still be cleaning up after themselves. Leaving the seat a mess for other people is horrendous.
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 16d
I've seen a lot of cases where people are using the toilet as a urinal. That seems to be where most of the piss is coming from.
That said, if someone can't use a urinal and needs to use a toilet, I don't know why they aren't sitting down on the toilet. I can't think of a condition which in which you can't use a urinal but you can stand and pee onto a toilet seat.
Zeko9381@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
because sitting just to piss is gay apparently (heard that from multiple people)
lechekaflan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
More specific, the target practice gets more wild at a pub.
Abyssian@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 18d
How else do you hose the seat clean from all the explosive shit caking it before you sit down to unleash your own?
Alexstarfire@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 17d
How else do you mark your territory?