The pocket of air that was where you teleported now get displaced at a very decent fraction of the speed of light while the pocket of space you once ocupied becomes a almost pure vaccum. the air moves so fast it creates a sonic boom that ruptures the ear drums. Then, a few atoms of air collide together with such incredible force the atoms split and causes a small grade nuclear explosion.
I feel like a mathematician would go a step further and not even assume a specific geometry. Maybe a human is just a subset of points in a measure space, with a measure fixed at 1 human-unit.
To be fair, the result of this calculation only depends on the area/volume ratio of the human. I used the specific cylinder, because humans are roughly cylindrical, and have a volume of roughly 100 L. The surface area of a regular human is probably a bit larger than that of a cylindrical one though.
That's true, and in this case where the layer is a single molecule thick, pores and even cellular structure will add to it quite a bit. Hell, at that scale it's probably hard to define any solid boundary to the body at all, since you'll have things like the surface of evaporating sweat. Once again, we need to know a bit more about how the magic works to give a single answer.
Our mathematician would have to add a measure on subset boundaries I guess. Or maybe just hand the problem off to a big boy who can handle things in the real world (zing!).
Oh, you're assuming a monolayer. Yeah, you're right then. I thought you were talking about the vacuum end and the air was magic-ed out in a more orderly fashion at the other end.
I mean, no. That's not enough energy to cause nuclear stuff. This guy tried sciencing, which I still respect in the context of a goofy scenario, I guess.
Air moves as fast as the potential difference in pressure between where it is and where it wants to go. Also pressure has a direct relationship with heat as in the more under pressure a volume of air is the more hot it becomes.
The potential difference between regular earth or spaceship atmospheric pressure and vaccum is relatively little so air flow is only subsonic when evacuated vaccum tubes break and exposed to normal atmosphere conditions.
However if you go to the bottom of the ocean the pressure there is enough to cause implosions which create a kind of under water sonic boom as well as light radiation as the water rushes in to the vaccum faster than the speed of sound. The mantis shrimp even evolved this as a kind of defense by snapping its claws so fast it creates vaccum bubbles that implode which creates powerful shockwaves while producing light. Here's a great video about that
I dont know enough about aerodynamics to know about why supersonic planes dont glow. Maybe they do and its just in infrared. Hopefully someone else can chime in.
Still that's almost nothing compared to the pressures created around the body in this scenario which as the person calculated is surface-of-the-sun levels of pressure being instantly pushed on earthy atmosphere molecules. The forces created by the potential difference in pressure in this scenario could theoretically be enough to overcome the strong nuclear force binding the nucleus of air atoms.
The difference I see with supersonic jets is that our hypothetical scenario is all about an instantaneous occurrence, whereas jets start at a standstill and accelerate up to that speed relatively gradually, meaning there is some opportunity for air displacement to begin before the jet arrives and occur over some marginally longer time period.
Oh, so you're assuming all the air is instantly pushed to the person's skin? Yeah, that could do it. Actually, if the stuff is pushed arbitrarily close together you get black holes. I read OP as the destination air gets moved out more evenly, and just the vacuum remains.
Supersonic planes do get hot, because the air basically heats until the flow is subsonic again, so they would glow in the infrared a bit. Normal atmospheric pressure, as you noted, isn't enough to make anything nuclear or even chemical happen.
Depends on what teleportation technology we're using. I think a lot of us assume that when you're teleported you're quickly assembled atom by atom and don't simply instantly exist in a new location.
There's a few questions here. At the atomic level, quantum mechanics comes into play, and instant change basically breaks it, so you'd expect it to be slightly gradual somehow.
Instantly moving any kind of mass in the context of physics means moving it super close to the speed of light (well actually, it would have to be faster than the speed of light for truely instant which opens up a can of worms all its own so lets just say really really close to instant, as close as the universe lets you get without inviting FTL time paradoxes) which would impart insane amounts of momentum energy that has to transfer to the air it pushes.
That supercharged almost-speed-of-light air needs to go somewhere (unless were talking about the kind of teleportation where atoms get transposed into each other in which you just skip to the nuke step).
It would still have to repel the air with electromagnetic forces between electrons, so the total speed is still limited. Or does the air just stay in place inside your body? If not, then the teleporter would have to move the air somewhere.
I have simultaneously merged with my desk. My bowels have been displaced and are now bisected with bamboo. I feel simultaneously ripped apart and yet stuck and solid. Every point of my being is as though it has been engulfed in flames. My existence and identity has now become insufferable pain. I feel an impending sense of doom at a foreign body now lodged inside of me.
There are no wounds for me to bleed from and I cannot gasp for air to scream. My spinal cord has been severed and I feel hot prickles on my cheeks and my ears feel as though they are being stuffed with cotton. An internal white hot pressure feeling erupts up my now-fractured spine until it reaches the back of my head and radiates towards my forehead. My peripheral vision looks like static and everything appears to shake. I am unable to make sense of anything and everything goes dark and still.
Weird. I also move into a space occupied by my desk, but a Fey mood takes hold of me and I grab the left corner of the table with my left nostril and wrestle it into an oak masterpiece which I then sell to an Elf, just to piss him off.
We only made that damn treaty because they promised to chase off the rats during the last bout of the Plague. We've had it twice more since then, lazy furballs.
Maybe we should stop forcefully removing cats from the locations people gather the most. Grocery stores. Churches. Places of business. Maybe the Egyptians knew a thing or two about keeping the Gods happy.
I hover briefly in the air, next to my bed, and hold up a sign that says "uh oh" before I fall a couple feet to the ground onto carpet. I might hit my head on the nightstand, but I feel like I got off easy compared to most other people.
hovers in air next to sofa, looks down, looks at camera, holds up sign saying "uh oh" and plummets two feet to the floor creating a puff of dust on impact
I would be rather sad since I would be sitting next ro my chair on the floor instead of un my chair. My coffee would also be out of reach. I would be sad.
Fusioning with the atoms of the wall next to me. So parts would stay me, others would just transform into very high density stone or something. The meat may fall off or needs to be cut off, luckily my head would be completely inside the wall.
I would be spooning my dog who is on the other end of the couch. If this was a competition I’d submit my outcome for winner or at least most wholesome. Some of y’all’s are definitely more funny though.
I'll have fallen about 3ft, landing directly on my coccyx on a hard tile floor, causing additional damage to 2 discs in my lower back that I've already had worked on twice. There's almost a 100% chance that this will result in my needing to have those two discs removed completely.
So I really, really hope I don't get instantly teleported 2 feet to the left while I'm sitting here.
If this involves some kind of adjustment of orientation, then I will be doing an early Father Christmas act and coming down from where I have appeared halfway up the chimney (being generous about how wide that chimney is). If it doesn't, then I am going to be part of the brickwork - except for my guts and arse, which will rot in place in the chimney over the next few weeks.
Wouldn't that mostly depend on how long teleportation takes? But if it's instantaneous, you wouldn't need to account for inertia to end up literally a couple of feet away from where you are, right?
No, I don't think you understand what instantaneous actually means. It literally means instantaneous. Faster than the speed of light (which is actually why teleportation is physically impossible but that's irrelevant).
That doesn't make any sense. If I'm instantly transported 2 feet to my left I'm still going to be in the same room, not in outer space. Maybe you're thinking of this issue with time travel?
I find myself sitting inside the end table next to the sofa, instantly destroying it along with a lamp a ukulele, and several glasses I haven't taken to the sink yet
I'm in a sitting position, one foot beyond my desk, with my feet about 10 inches off the ground, and my butt is about 16 inches off the ground. I fall on my ass comedically, amidst loud cursing.
I'm laying on my side in bed, so.... I guess I jump two feet in the air, fall, make a big sound, probally bounce off and break some stuff and then have back problems all day.
I'd be in a wall, and 2 objects occupying the same space would like result and a violent resettling of local physics as particles push each other out of the way
A chunk of file cabinet where my knee was falls to the floor. I fall to the ground, twisting my hip joint quite uncomfortably, possibly enough to pull something. I can't actually tell if my leg would be totally trapped, or if I could at least slide it out. If it's caught it's going to be a shitty wait for rescue.
I I am now sitting on nothing in the walkway through my living room. I fall on my butt on the carpet, severely swear, and then try for a bit to figure out what the hell just happened.
Damnmit. I asked that kid to clean off this coffee table and now there's a pepper grinder, a bag of terrible candy, three remote controls, and some crushed fortune cookies, all under my back.
198 Comments
Smokeydope@lemmy.world · 123 pts · 2y
The pocket of air that was where you teleported now get displaced at a very decent fraction of the speed of light while the pocket of space you once ocupied becomes a almost pure vaccum. the air moves so fast it creates a sonic boom that ruptures the ear drums. Then, a few atoms of air collide together with such incredible force the atoms split and causes a small grade nuclear explosion.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 74 pts · 2y
Risk@feddit.uk · 49 pts · 2y
How to spot a mathematician/physicist.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y
I'm actually a chemist, thankyouverymuch
#Chemistry Is When There's Too Many Electrons For The Physicists
;)
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 5 pts · 2y
I feel like a mathematician would go a step further and not even assume a specific geometry. Maybe a human is just a subset of points in a measure space, with a measure fixed at 1 human-unit.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
To be fair, the result of this calculation only depends on the area/volume ratio of the human. I used the specific cylinder, because humans are roughly cylindrical, and have a volume of roughly 100 L. The surface area of a regular human is probably a bit larger than that of a cylindrical one though.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 2 pts · 2y
That's true, and in this case where the layer is a single molecule thick, pores and even cellular structure will add to it quite a bit. Hell, at that scale it's probably hard to define any solid boundary to the body at all, since you'll have things like the surface of evaporating sweat. Once again, we need to know a bit more about how the magic works to give a single answer.
Our mathematician would have to add a measure on subset boundaries I guess. Or maybe just hand the problem off to a big boy who can handle things in the real world (zing!).
Kase@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
Can confirm, as a cylindrical human, 2m tall, 25 cm diameter.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
Thank you for taking the time to do the actual calculations, you are a legend!
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 2 pts · 2y
Oh, you're assuming a monolayer. Yeah, you're right then. I thought you were talking about the vacuum end and the air was magic-ed out in a more orderly fashion at the other end.
orangeNgreen@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 2y
This guy sciences.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 14 pts · 2y
I mean, no. That's not enough energy to cause nuclear stuff. This guy tried sciencing, which I still respect in the context of a goofy scenario, I guess.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y
The math actually says that we might quite possibly get nuclear stuff. I checked because at first I intuitively thought the same thing as you.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 4 pts · 2y
Wouldn't that mean opening an evacuated tube should produce a flash of radiation, and supersonic planes should absolutely glow? I'm skeptical.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
Air moves as fast as the potential difference in pressure between where it is and where it wants to go. Also pressure has a direct relationship with heat as in the more under pressure a volume of air is the more hot it becomes.
The potential difference between regular earth or spaceship atmospheric pressure and vaccum is relatively little so air flow is only subsonic when evacuated vaccum tubes break and exposed to normal atmosphere conditions.
However if you go to the bottom of the ocean the pressure there is enough to cause implosions which create a kind of under water sonic boom as well as light radiation as the water rushes in to the vaccum faster than the speed of sound. The mantis shrimp even evolved this as a kind of defense by snapping its claws so fast it creates vaccum bubbles that implode which creates powerful shockwaves while producing light. Here's a great video about that
I dont know enough about aerodynamics to know about why supersonic planes dont glow. Maybe they do and its just in infrared. Hopefully someone else can chime in.
Still that's almost nothing compared to the pressures created around the body in this scenario which as the person calculated is surface-of-the-sun levels of pressure being instantly pushed on earthy atmosphere molecules. The forces created by the potential difference in pressure in this scenario could theoretically be enough to overcome the strong nuclear force binding the nucleus of air atoms.
indepndnt@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
The difference I see with supersonic jets is that our hypothetical scenario is all about an instantaneous occurrence, whereas jets start at a standstill and accelerate up to that speed relatively gradually, meaning there is some opportunity for air displacement to begin before the jet arrives and occur over some marginally longer time period.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
That seems like a reasonable hypothesis, thanks for the input!
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 1 pts · 2y
Oh, so you're assuming all the air is instantly pushed to the person's skin? Yeah, that could do it. Actually, if the stuff is pushed arbitrarily close together you get black holes. I read OP as the destination air gets moved out more evenly, and just the vacuum remains.
Supersonic planes do get hot, because the air basically heats until the flow is subsonic again, so they would glow in the infrared a bit. Normal atmospheric pressure, as you noted, isn't enough to make anything nuclear or even chemical happen.
nomecks@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Your atoms now occupy the same space as the air atoms. How exactly is this not going to result in nuclear tomfoolery?
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 4 pts · 2y
That might do it, if they really land on top of each other. OP said it was air molecules colliding with each other in the shock, though.
Mac@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 2y
Depends on what teleportation technology we're using. I think a lot of us assume that when you're teleported you're quickly assembled atom by atom and don't simply instantly exist in a new location.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 3 pts · 2y
There's a few questions here. At the atomic level, quantum mechanics comes into play, and instant change basically breaks it, so you'd expect it to be slightly gradual somehow.
Thisfox@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 2y
Nah, just reads too much XKCD.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 11 pts · 2y
I assume it's a switcharoo scenario. Otherwise where does the air in my new location go?
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y
I'm wet and sitting on the tile floor. I'm cold :(
CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Why would air displace so quickly?
Smokeydope@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Instantly moving any kind of mass in the context of physics means moving it super close to the speed of light (well actually, it would have to be faster than the speed of light for truely instant which opens up a can of worms all its own so lets just say really really close to instant, as close as the universe lets you get without inviting FTL time paradoxes) which would impart insane amounts of momentum energy that has to transfer to the air it pushes.
That supercharged almost-speed-of-light air needs to go somewhere (unless were talking about the kind of teleportation where atoms get transposed into each other in which you just skip to the nuke step).
CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
It would still have to repel the air with electromagnetic forces between electrons, so the total speed is still limited. Or does the air just stay in place inside your body? If not, then the teleporter would have to move the air somewhere.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 2y
I'm pooping next to my toilet, inside this wall. The tp roll is in my belly.
prex@aussie.zone · 14 pts · 2y
Now there are three of us
med@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 2y
Same. There is also a handicap rail through my sternum.
wilberfan@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
(This is the exact scenario that occurred to me.)
Kase@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Same, minus the pooping and being inside a wall. But I did eat a roll of toilet paper once. (/j) (I have never eaten a roll of toilet paper, yet)
kuneho@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 2y
welp, I'm not sitting on a tram anymore
PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca · 33 pts · 2y
I have simultaneously merged with my desk. My bowels have been displaced and are now bisected with bamboo. I feel simultaneously ripped apart and yet stuck and solid. Every point of my being is as though it has been engulfed in flames. My existence and identity has now become insufferable pain. I feel an impending sense of doom at a foreign body now lodged inside of me.
There are no wounds for me to bleed from and I cannot gasp for air to scream. My spinal cord has been severed and I feel hot prickles on my cheeks and my ears feel as though they are being stuffed with cotton. An internal white hot pressure feeling erupts up my now-fractured spine until it reaches the back of my head and radiates towards my forehead. My peripheral vision looks like static and everything appears to shake. I am unable to make sense of anything and everything goes dark and still.
U killed me op wow
kraegar@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I read that as hot pickles and got realllllllly confused until I reread it.
Kase@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Really impressive that you typed this comment. RIP.
littlewonder@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
They could have become a prolific horror writer but instead they've been desk-integrated.
Kase@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Ikr! They wrote this masterpiece while actively dying, so I'm sure they'd have been a fantastic author if not for their untimely end
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 2y
blue
nemanin@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 2y
I continue pooping in the next stall over.
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Is it occupied?
Kase@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
If not before, it is now
vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works · 23 pts · 2y
I'm now shitting in my bathtub....
Alteon@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
Wooo! I'm now shitting in my shower. There's dozens of us!
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 2y
I am now shitting in the sink.
Sanctus@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y
I move into a space occupied by my desk, thus taking 3d10 force damage before moving to the next unoccupied space.
tetris11@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 2y
Weird. I also move into a space occupied by my desk, but a Fey mood takes hold of me and I grab the left corner of the table with my left nostril and wrestle it into an oak masterpiece which I then sell to an Elf, just to piss him off.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Are you a commoner? You'd better hope to roll REAL low on that damage or this isn't gonna be pretty
Sanctus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
I am
KuraiWolfGaming@pawb.social · 21 pts · 2y
I'm shitting in the shower.
mcqtom@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Aw! I'm shitting in the sink!
FluminaInMaria@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 2y
I'm squatting on the landing at the top of the stairs and now need to shuffle off in shame to get some TP for my bunghole.
June@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y
I’m shitting inside my vanity but also have the vanity inside me so I’m pretty sure I’m dead.
10 minutes ago I’d have been rolling on the freeway at 69mph. So dead either way I guess.
kerplink@lemmy.sedimentarymountains.com · 20 pts · 2y
I'm now having an uncomfortable moment with the airline passenger in seat 26A.
Ataraxia@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 2y
Inside my boyfriend, for once.
residentmarchant@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Not with that attitude
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y
Streetdog@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y
DarkFox@pawb.social · 15 pts · 2y
I've now telefragged my colleague.
Cyv_@kbin.social · 15 pts · 2y
Does the cat on my tummy come with me? If not Cheddar says that this expirement violates the cat sitting treaty of 1669
tetris11@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 2y
We only made that damn treaty because they promised to chase off the rats during the last bout of the Plague. We've had it twice more since then, lazy furballs.
Cinner@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Maybe we should stop forcefully removing cats from the locations people gather the most. Grocery stores. Churches. Places of business. Maybe the Egyptians knew a thing or two about keeping the Gods happy.
Edit for the downvoter: maybe you didn't get the joke, but Egyptians basically worshipped cats. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cats_in_ancient_Egypt
lemick24@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y
I hover briefly in the air, next to my bed, and hold up a sign that says "uh oh" before I fall a couple feet to the ground onto carpet. I might hit my head on the nightstand, but I feel like I got off easy compared to most other people.
Sir_Fridge@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y
I'm reading this while laying on my right side in my bed. So I suppose I bounce on the bed then. Seems fun!
Hankelios@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
I fell off mine :(
SuiXi3D@kbin.social · 14 pts · 2y
I’m now in the lap of the guy in the stall next to me.
tetris11@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 2y
"Well hello there, come here often? Let me get that for you..."
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 2y
I'm now pooping on the floor. Thanks.
Brickhead92@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Me too! Hi floor poop buddy.
Guy_Fieris_Hair@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
https://youtu.be/XpuYzp2Sa68?si=U2Ry597k0_Qw-4mM
venji10@feddit.de · 14 pts · 2y
Don't know, I don't know how much two feet is.
xmunk@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 2y
It's approximately a third of a Smoot.
Floufym@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
So around 3,33 bananas
ted@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y
3.5 feet to a meter
Kase@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Bro just look down. Unless you're an amputee, then idk
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 13 pts · 2y
Still sitting on my couch
ghashul@feddit.dk · 12 pts · 2y
I'm suddenly on the outside of a bus on the motorway. Probably dead or at least badly injured.
russjr08@outpost.zeuslink.net · 12 pts · 2y
Hmm, well the railing of my bed would well... be railing me.
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
Taking a crap in the hallway
agent_flounder@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
hovers in air next to sofa, looks down, looks at camera, holds up sign saying "uh oh" and plummets two feet to the floor creating a puff of dust on impact
ramble81@lemm.ee · 11 pts · 2y
Fall out of my chair, but otherwise unaffected as I end up on the floor.
TeaHands@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
I am one with my bookshelves. Unfortunately the Steam Deck hasn't fared well.
Sidyctism@feddit.de · 10 pts · 2y
I telefrag the guy sitting next to me on the train
locuester@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 2y
I’ll have a window seat at 30k feet and the person seated to my left will be free fallin’ for a while.
Jaywarbs@kbin.social · 10 pts · 2y
I'm standing in a box. I am now a cat.
selokichtli@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 2y
Woah, lemmy is for shiters.
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 10 pts · 2y
Not much, I'm just lying on the other side of the bed. Although my pillow has been replaced with a garbage bag.
cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 2y
i just fell off the bed ouch
Kase@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Same here
SlateGreyCrazyPotato@possumpat.io · 3 pts · 2y
Same, but I'm stuck in the small gap between the bed and the wall
ohlaph@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
I would be rather sad since I would be sitting next ro my chair on the floor instead of un my chair. My coffee would also be out of reach. I would be sad.
Hare@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 2y
Whose left? Mine?
June@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y
Let’s say, universal left.
Turious@leaf.dance · 9 pts · 2y
Yay, I'm in bed now! Good thing, I was getting eepy.
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
sl you dropped this
Pantherina@feddit.de · 9 pts · 2y
Fusioning with the atoms of the wall next to me. So parts would stay me, others would just transform into very high density stone or something. The meat may fall off or needs to be cut off, luckily my head would be completely inside the wall.
MacAttak8@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
I would be spooning my dog who is on the other end of the couch. If this was a competition I’d submit my outcome for winner or at least most wholesome. Some of y’all’s are definitely more funny though.
lakemalcom10@lemm.ee · 9 pts · 2y
Well now I'm sitting in a different chair. And I don't like that chair as much. 😡
Nemo@midwest.social · 9 pts · 2y
I'm sitting on top of the bin of laundry I need to fold.
Pika@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 2y
My ass is now on the ground instead of a chair, ow
JWBananas@startrek.website · 8 pts · 2y
Ow!
doubletwist@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
I'll have fallen about 3ft, landing directly on my coccyx on a hard tile floor, causing additional damage to 2 discs in my lower back that I've already had worked on twice. There's almost a 100% chance that this will result in my needing to have those two discs removed completely.
So I really, really hope I don't get instantly teleported 2 feet to the left while I'm sitting here.
GreyShuck@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 2y
If this involves some kind of adjustment of orientation, then I will be doing an early Father Christmas act and coming down from where I have appeared halfway up the chimney (being generous about how wide that chimney is). If it doesn't, then I am going to be part of the brickwork - except for my guts and arse, which will rot in place in the chimney over the next few weeks.
ramble81@lemm.ee · 0 pts · 2y
I’m reminded of this
satans_crackpipe@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
I might be stuck in the floor since I'm laying on a mattress on my left side.
NOOBMASTER@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 2y
I'm european, so it doesn't affect me at all.
athos77@kbin.social · 8 pts · 2y
I have either bisected the wall, or the wall has bisected me.
hddsx@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 2y
I have been bisected by a table
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 2y
Closet for me
weeeeum@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I die with my body stuck in the foundation. Now my house is gonna be all stinky >:(
snooggums@kbin.social · 7 pts · 2y
My left arm is now part of the wall, so at least I didn't die outright.
LucasWaffyWaf@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I'm pooping. Two feet to my left is a wall. I'd be inside the wall D:
mp3@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 2y
I instantly swapped chair in the dining room.
Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 2y
My cat Ralph is not gonna be happy about that.
CharlesReed@kbin.social · 7 pts · 2y
I live in the wall now.
rarelybegal@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I'm now outside the train going 200km/h and have a nice, hard and long fall in half a second to look forward to.
Lennnny@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
My husband is very happy, but he also dies (in his video game)
FullOfBallooons@leminal.space · 7 pts · 2y
I am now sitting on the laptop my company gave for work, most likely breaking it. Which is unfortunate, but I can probably just request another.
simple@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 2y
I've merged into my bed and finally have an excuse to not get off of it.
not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
Whose left? If I'm lying on my left side do I go straight down?
celeste@kbin.social · 7 pts · 2y
Inside a decorated Christmas tree. Maybe I can blame the cat for all the glass bulbs I'd break?
BallShapedMan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I'm still on the couch, slightly further away from my wife.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I am in the vacuum of space.
psychothumbs@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
Meaning you're on a space station right now?
mp3@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y
Or he operates a vacuum chamber or some sort of specialized machinery.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Inertia isn't preserved during teleportation. So you'll most likely end up either in space or the Earth's core.
DigitalAudio@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 2y
Wouldn't that mostly depend on how long teleportation takes? But if it's instantaneous, you wouldn't need to account for inertia to end up literally a couple of feet away from where you are, right?
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y
You underestimate how fast we're moving through space.
DigitalAudio@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 2y
No, I don't think you understand what instantaneous actually means. It literally means instantaneous. Faster than the speed of light (which is actually why teleportation is physically impossible but that's irrelevant).
psychothumbs@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
That doesn't make any sense. If I'm instantly transported 2 feet to my left I'm still going to be in the same room, not in outer space. Maybe you're thinking of this issue with time travel?
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I find myself sitting inside the end table next to the sofa, instantly destroying it along with a lamp a ukulele, and several glasses I haven't taken to the sink yet
AngryHumanoid@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 2y
I have a bag of Skippy Peanut Butter Balls lodged in my ass. If I move they won't be there any more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Filthmontane@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
I'd be shitting in the neighbor's toilet. It would probably be hard to explain why I'm in their apartment in my underwear.
TheLobotomist@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 2y
You take shits with your underwear on?? You wild dog
Filthmontane@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I cut a big hole in the back so I can shit through it though. Can't stand the cold seat on my cheeks.
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Very uncomfortable. You've pulled me off my bed and now I'm laying naked on my power inverter.
toofpic@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Fuck, I'm merged with the side of the sofa, and my cat's ass sticks out of my chest. I don't care already though, she mixed with my heart and lungs.
verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2y
I am now a propane stove/human hybrid.
Meltrax@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
I just took my evening shit on the floor of my bathroom, which is unfortunate.
FluminaInMaria@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 2y
Not this again.
OhmsLawn@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Dead. I'm laying on my left side.
____@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 2y
Two very pissed off cats.
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website · 6 pts · 2y
I am now sitting in a different chair at the same table. I continue browsing Lemmy on my phone.
Menagerie@pawb.social · 5 pts · 2y
My head is now clipping through a cardboard box full of stuff. I assume that wouldn't be very survivable.
ForestOrca@kbin.social · 5 pts · 2y
I'm in a sitting position, one foot beyond my desk, with my feet about 10 inches off the ground, and my butt is about 16 inches off the ground. I fall on my ass comedically, amidst loud cursing.
Poggervania@kbin.social · 5 pts · 2y
I am now out of my cozy and comfy bed and on the floor while hitting my head on my lamp :(
LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
I'd be on the floor. Which is a problem because I have a broken ankle/leg and can't put weight on it for another week.
azulavoir@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 2y
sitting on my friend's legs rather than comfortably next to him on the couch
ParsnipWitch@feddit.de · 5 pts · 2y
Stuck in concrete wall / window T_T
residentmarchant@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Inside my coat closet...not the first time I'll struggle getting out of one
Voyajer@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
I've clipped into a pool table.
Kronusdark@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
I fall to the floor and possibly hit my head on a table on the way down.
Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 2y
I’m partially clipped into a wall. I’ve fallen into the backrooms.
nissenice@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
I'm now swimming in a icy river, with a small ferry passing by next to me. Yay!
ChillPenguin@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
I now have to crawl back onto my couch. And I'm cold now too.
FoundTheVegan@kbin.social · 5 pts · 2y
I'm laying on my side in bed, so.... I guess I jump two feet in the air, fall, make a big sound, probally bounce off and break some stuff and then have back problems all day.
teuast@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 2y
I am now inside my desk. I die a slow and painful death.
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 2y
I am now sitting on the left side of my bed instead of the right one.
AlDente@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 2y
I no longer have a cat laying on my back.
MariaRomanov@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 2y
I am impaled by the edge of the couch.
Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y
I'm now shitting in the tub and about to fall right into it.
folkrav@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y
I'd be literally just standing in the middle of my balcony instead of on the side. Not bad.
AquaTofana@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
I'm now on my husband's lap as he driving us 70 mph on the highway.
That seems highly unsafe.
Underwaterbob@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y
It depends on whether I displace the wall, or the wall displaces me.
Conyak@lemmy.tf · 4 pts · 2y
I would assume I’m dead since there is a workout machine made of steel next to me.
Kase@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Superpowers
Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 2y
A painful and likely explosive death
I'd be in a wall, and 2 objects occupying the same space would like result and a violent resettling of local physics as particles push each other out of the way
Anticorp@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
I'm dead.
zaph@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 2y
I shit in the sink.
CanadaPlus@futurology.today · 3 pts · 2y
A chunk of file cabinet where my knee was falls to the floor. I fall to the ground, twisting my hip joint quite uncomfortably, possibly enough to pull something. I can't actually tell if my leg would be totally trapped, or if I could at least slide it out. If it's caught it's going to be a shitty wait for rescue.
Mothra@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 2y
I fell off the bed and got a nasty hit on my head against the bedside table. Thanks, I guess?
Sho@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I fall off the couch.
cobysev@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I fall 2 feet onto my bed. I'm lying on my right side, browsing Lemmy from a tablet right now.
Pothetato@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
High five, same. Except phone.
Mac@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 2y
I went from sitting in my Jeep in my garage to falling a couple feet onto the floor. Otherwise no issues.
BmeBenji@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
I’m now peeing on the floor in the hallway
Interstellar_1@pawb.social · 3 pts · 2y
I am now sitting on the roof of my house. Is a bit damp, but could be worse.
TotallyHuman@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 2y
I just fell off the couch.
ByGourou@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y
Bebo@literature.cafe · 3 pts · 2y
I'll end up lying on the floor of the store room. No thank you for my butt hurting me.
MECHAGIC@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I'm clipping through the hairdresser right now, send help
suckaduck@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 2y
Taking a dump in my neighbors hallway
wholemilk@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
I am in my cat's litter box
trolololol@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Depends Is that like 4 school buses or more like half a pen?
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
two feet = three chinchillas.
Voyajer@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
How big are your feet
trolololol@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Bigger than a feet. Am I big foot? Oh no!
Songar87@eviltoast.org · 2 pts · 2y
My upper body has fused with an ICEE machine.
Raptor_007@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Shittin in the shower
LuckyBoy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
I would be in the other chair.
SeramisV@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 2y
Death
hai@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 2y
My head would hit a metal chair.
I sit on the floor, despite a chair being there.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y
I I am now sitting on nothing in the walkway through my living room. I fall on my butt on the carpet, severely swear, and then try for a bit to figure out what the hell just happened.
bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 2y
Damnmit. I asked that kid to clean off this coffee table and now there's a pepper grinder, a bag of terrible candy, three remote controls, and some crushed fortune cookies, all under my back.
rmuk@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 2y
Sitting in the driver seat of my car so I'd transfer to the passenger seat.
Deepus@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y
Im sat on a turd
ShadowAndFlame@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 2y
I'm now sitting partially inside my couch's end table. My wife just fell down the stairs.
Trollivier@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y
In sitting under my telescope
AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y
I'm probably partially inside a dishwasher now and now we have to wait forever for the apartment managers to replace it and the counter.
AKA my life becomes slightly harder as now I have the first world problem of having to manually wash and dry dishes by hand.
cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
I fall off the radiator attached to my wall.
Illuminostro@lemmy.world · -3 pts · 2y
You just discovered the tensile strength of the color green is umpity dumpity 400. How does that make your left nut feel?
That's how utterly asinine these kinds of queries are.