c/nottheonion · by oleorun@lemmy.fan · 340d

Doctor who left patient during operation to have sex with nurse allowed to practise

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/sep/15/doctor-who-left-patient-during-operation-to-have-sex-allowed-to-practise

556 points · 107 comments · view on lemmy.world

107 Comments

CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one · 115 pts · 340d (19 replies)

Bullshit. Doctor Who would never leave a patient during an operation to have sex. I'm not sure The Doctor ever has sex. Well maybe Tenant's clone but he wasn't really The Doctor at that point was he?

mushroommunk@lemmy.today · 35 pts · 340d (12 replies)

It's greatly implied during many of The Doctors that he has sex often.

SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one · 9 pts · 340d (11 replies)

I personally don't care for RTD and Moffat's fixation on crude/lewd humour and doing all the stupid shipteases personally. So, mileage varies greatly on that.

FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 24 pts · 340d (10 replies)

Well, he had a granddaughter somehow.

T156@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 340d (3 replies)

I thought they got put together like a tapestry?

That's why they have looms or something to knit them up.

mushroommunk@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 340d

I think that's been scrapped. The Looms came from the novels and stuff during the dark times between old and new who. Many many things from the new who seasons directly contradict there being Looms.

Dantheta@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 340d

Yay, I thought i might have hallucinated Lungbarrow

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 339d

kinky

CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one · 4 pts · 339d (5 replies)

Could that be his daughter's daughter? In which case he wouldn't have had to have sex.

hatorade@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 339d (3 replies)

How did he get a daughter then?

CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one · 2 pts · 338d

It was a cloning machine accident.

ChairmanMeow@programming.dev · 2 pts · 339d

Technically one was cloned off him at some point. The actress who played her ended up marrying the Doctor though.

XTL@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 339d

That bit's a bit wibbly wobbly.

VeryVito@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 339d

I mean, technically The Doctor did marry The Doctor’s Daughter, so…

reactionality@lemmy.sdf.org · 15 pts · 340d (1 reply)

Why do you think the companions are always girls?

CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one · 5 pts · 339d

point

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 340d (1 reply)

The nurse was allowed to practice, so really it was all mutually agreed upon

smeenz@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 339d

Allowed to practise having sex with a patient, right?

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 338d (1 reply)

The very first Doctor had a granddaughter. So canonically he had to have had sex at least once.

CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one · 2 pts · 338d

Yeah, my comment about him possibly never having sex aged like milk. But he definitely wouldn't stop saving someone to do it!

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 340d (8 replies)

Was the operation a success?

Endmaker@ani.social · 89 pts · 340d (7 replies)

Anjum was absent from the operating room for eight minutes and the patient came to no harm.

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 37 pts · 340d (1 reply)

came to? Oh shit what happened after he woke up?

errer@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 340d

and the patient came too, no harm !

Carighan@piefed.world · 37 pts · 340d (1 reply)

8 minutes? Disappointing. Hope the nurse found someone better.

Susaga@sh.itjust.works · 26 pts · 340d

That's why the doctor needs the practise.

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 340d

justsomeguy@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 340d

He could've done it in 2 minutes if they'd just allow him to fuck inside the OR.

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 339d

That poor nurse... With the removal of gloves, coats and other items, followed by the replacement of them, that leaves little time for her. This dudes a two pump chump.

ABetterTomorrow@sh.itjust.works · 63 pts · 340d (4 replies)

Doctor Who is getting nuts these days.

D_C@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 340d

Doctor Who gettingto nut these days.

Skyrmir@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 339d

It's a devolving quest to repair their ratings.

Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 340d

Something, something. Timey whimy, time travel and the daleks

brax@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 338d

Per the headline, it seems he's giving nuts more than getting nuts. But maybe both?

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 340d

However, she was satisfied

Phrasing.

...that Anjum was determined not to repeat his past misconduct and considered the risk of repetition to be “very low”.

That old medical adage: Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice... You can't get fucked again.

ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 340d (4 replies)

I have to admit, I wasn't expecting this plot twist out of a BBC science fiction show.

ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 340d (3 replies)

Also, his name is "The Doctor," not "Doctor Who."

RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com · 2 pts · 339d (2 replies)

His name is actually H.H. Gregg.

ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 339d

Ha. Real ones remember.

VeryVito@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 339d

Holy shit.

mavu@discuss.tchncs.de · 42 pts · 340d (2 replies)

LIES! Doctor Who would never leave a patient like that!

smeenz@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 339d (1 reply)

... left the patient to have sex with a nurse who was allowed to practise.

I presume the nurse was practising having sex with patients

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 339d

I presume the nurse was practising having sex with patients

yet another way the NHS is superior to us healthcare.... damn...

Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 340d (3 replies)

[ removed ]

oleorun@lemmy.fan · 23 pts · 340d (1 reply)

Imaging dept has ample opportunities. "We're shooting, stay out!" Yeah, shooting loads.

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 340d

Ugh, this felt personal lol my ex was an X-ray tech.

Horsey@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 340d

I swear it’s the personality type that chooses to work OR/ER. They’re super over confident, ADHD, adrenaline junky personality types that thrive in risky situations.

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 38 pts · 340d (1 reply)

Why did they put a time lord into the operations room, anyway?

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 338d

Who is this doctor anyways‽

tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 340d (3 replies)

He felt the patient from the inside, turned to the nurse and said “I wanna fuck you like an animal.”

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 339d (2 replies)

His whole existence is flawed. He really thinks he is god.

XTL@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 339d (1 reply)

He just wants to be perfect. To become somebody else.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 339d

… he broke apart his insides
(Help him) he's got no soul to sell
(Help him) the only thing that works for him
Help him get away from himself

Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 339d (4 replies)

Look he's been travelling through time and space for thousands of years and spent billions of years dying repeatedly in a time loop, i don't think he gives a shit about some patient in surgery when there's a chance to get his end away.

SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 339d (2 replies)

He will tap 'dat four times

Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 339d

A masterful joke.

MrSulu@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 339d

Best comment in this entire conversation thread!

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 339d

Specially if he gets to tap peak Billie Piper or Freema Agyeman.

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 340d (9 replies)

A whole lot of you seem to prefer your narcissistic surgeon to operate on you while horny out of his mind. If he's got a boner to the point he can't concentrate, and I can be kept stable a few minutes, and he has a willing partner, be my guest.

aramis87@fedia.io · 47 pts · 340d (7 replies)

It was an anesthesiologist. And yeah, I'd much rather be kept sleep throughout the entire surgery, thanks.

frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 48 pts · 340d (4 replies)

So that it's clear to everyone, anesthesiologists are usually the highest paid person on any surgical team, and there's a reason for that. Knocking you out without killing you is hard.

That said, the guy did leave someone else to monitor things, and wasn't gone for much more than a long bathroom break.

Coopr8@kbin.earth · 20 pts · 339d

Open secret of the surgery business is that the CRNAs (specialty anesthesia nurses) do all the actual anesthesia work, the Anesthesiologist's job is really to pick the anesthetic based on patient history and bloodwork, do the calculations for dosing based on body weight, and attend for interventions if something goes wrong. The Nurse he put in charge when he left was almost certainly already doing all the work anyway and he was just twiddling his thumbs with a hard on in the corner.

RattlerSix@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 340d

I coulda done it faster

icelimit@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 340d

I've also heard that it's like a pilot job, the hardest part being the beginning and the end. During routine surgeries, they have fuck all to do, so might as well fuck I guess? /Shrug

Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 340d

They also have more scrutiny and paperwork.

surph_ninja@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 340d

Oh, that tracks. They have a reputation among medical personnel for being the worst sociopaths.

Valmond@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 340d

During the sexergy.

ToastedRavioli@midwest.social · 16 pts · 340d

Do you really want to be operated on by someone who has an unyielding boner when youre lying there cut open on the table? If anything should be a boner killer I would think thats it

Maeve@kbin.earth · 26 pts · 340d (4 replies)

Eight minutes?

otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 340d (1 reply)

He had a lot on his mind.

TachyonTele@piefed.social · 4 pts · 340d

Could you imagine?

Landless2029@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 339d

Leaving and finding a room.
Removing gloves and getting into position.
Doing the deed.
Scrubbing again and putting gloves back on.
Eight minutes

I'd take longer than that pooping in that situation.

alphabethunter@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 339d

What a show off, right? We all know it took less than two minutes and the rest of the time he was crying silently on the floor.

FuckFascism@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 339d (5 replies)

[ removed ]

MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 339d (1 reply)

Pretty sure if a retail worker was caught performing surgery, they'd be arrested.

FuckFascism@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 338d

[ removed ]

svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 338d (1 reply)

Much harder to replace a trained anaesthetist than a retail worker, though.

FuckFascism@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 338d

[ removed ]

nandeEbisu@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 333d

He did get fired. He just didn't lose his medical license.

Adderbox76@lemmy.ca · 23 pts · 339d (2 replies)

TIL Doctor Who fucks.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 339d

it gets bigger on the inside.

Timelords are canines, confirmed

BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 338d

I really which they would change these headlines. “Doctor that-“ is perfectly acceptable and doesn’t make me think about Doctor who lol. I see them regularly

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 339d (4 replies)

the everfucking fuck, he's an anaesthetist. anyone else in the OR can skip out for 15 seconds to fuck, he can't.

stinky@redlemmy.com · 7 pts · 339d (1 reply)

Are you sure

echodot@feddit.uk · 10 pts · 339d

Yep it's in the rules.

Anyone but the anaesthetist. They are supposed to wait until after the operation, but the advantages they get to take their time.

qarbone@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 339d (1 reply)

15 seconds?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 339d

oh look at johnny 20 seconds here

morphballganon@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 340d (3 replies)

I mean, how hot is this nurse?

mEEGal@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 340d (2 replies)

More like : How horny was he ??

arin@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 340d (1 reply)

Could be her too, sometimes girls beg you to fuck them

kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 23 pts · 340d

Speak for yourself.

RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 339d (1 reply)

honestly I don't even care, at least the doctor wasn't fucking the patient

echodot@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 339d

That would have been better. The problem seems to have been leaving the operating room.

recklessengagement@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 340d

If the operation went well, I wouldn't care what my doc got up to during surgery. If it was really that much of a distraction and they can knock it out real quick I say go for it

psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 340d (1 reply)

Was operation successful? Whatever it takes, man.

viking@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 339d

Article says the patient was under general anesthesia and being monitored by the assistant anesthesiologist, the doctor was the main anesthesiologist, not the surgeon. So there wasn't really any risk.

DevOops@piefed.social · 15 pts · 340d

He needed some clarity

MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 340d

Doctor Who left patient...

Kinperor@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 339d

"I'm very concerned about my surgery, is the surgeon very talented?"

"Oh, he fucks"

"You mean that figuratively? As in, he's very good at what he does?"

"..."

Atomic@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 340d

Damn. I don't even want to read the article. I just want to admire the headline. Doctor left patient during operation to go fuck a nurse.

phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 340d