Dead internet theory

848 points · 94 comments · view on lemmy.world

94 Comments

Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one · 125 pts · 259d (30 replies)

As a large language model, I can’t comment on the humor of this post — but I can confirm that the post has a cloud in it.

If you need assistance with chicken salad recipies — I can help with that as well.

T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 259d (18 replies)

I need assistance with chicken salad recipes!

Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one · 94 pts · 259d (17 replies)

Of course!

Quick Chicken Salad Recipe

Ingredients:

  • Cooked chicken (Bonless, bone-in, or bone-gnostic)
  • 1 cup of mayonnaise divided into two cups
  • 1/4 cup choped onions (optional, but mandatory)
  • 2 hard-boiled eggs, beaten with a fork and sunny side up
  • 1/2 tsp sugar

Instructions:

  1. In a medium saucepan whisk the mayonaise until it gently simmers.
  2. Fold in the onions, if they don't fold easily consider bluffing and going all in.
  3. Add chicken and eggs and continue until the salad reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees.
  4. Once thickened, remove from heat
  5. Chill for 4 hours

Let me know if you want the version that uses lasagna noodles.

alquicksilver@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 259d (1 reply)

I cackled at the card joke. Thank you for that 😂

Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one · 29 pts · 259d

Playing Ben Fold's Five on Spotify — I'm sorry, your spotify account is not linked to this device.

yakko@feddit.uk · 27 pts · 259d (3 replies)

If AI was this funny I'd probably betray humanity

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 259d (2 replies)

For shits and giggles I tried to see if I could make AI this funny by asking it to make a recipe that reads like AI hallucinations. Nope, goes way over the top, even when I tell it to tone it down.

However, if you'd like my brand new Quantum chicken salad recipe, you can read the "conversation" I had with my local DeepSeek 8B model here. It was funny in its own way, but it really couldn't do subtle.

I liked this bit though:

  1. Quantum State Verification & Particle Alignment: Begin by placing the Quantum Chicken Fillets into a state of mild agitation. Subject them to a low-frequency oscillation (5 Hz +/- 0.5 Hz) for exactly 47 seconds. This primes the protein lattice for optimal batter adhesion. Verify via palpation (a light, non-intrusive touch).
yakko@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 259d (1 reply)

See, I think the real reason an LLM is so unfunny is structural. They're essentially mathematical models that pick the most likely next word given a set of conditions.

The only thing less funny than an LLM is comedy theory, so I'll just say that surprise is essential to humour. You'd never laugh after hearing the most likely next word, would you? Knowing how to surprise people takes guile, ingenuity, and trauma.

anomnom@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 258d

Except accidental comedy (or comedy of errors).

But LLMs only do it unintentionally and usually at unwanted times

zen@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 259d

(optional, but mandatory)

I see you’ve met my mother

YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz · 9 pts · 259d (5 replies)

ROFL lasagna noodles

Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 259d (4 replies)

Real talk, on the subject of lasagna, my wife recently found an alternate recipe where instead of layering the lasagna you roll the lasagna in the noodles, so you end up with a pan full of rolls of lasagna and it's kinda like a calzone or tortilini but not at the same time. Its really good

MeThisGuy@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 259d (1 reply)

that's just Italian enchiladas

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

Sparrito

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 259d (1 reply)

I always preferred canelloni to lasagna anyways

Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 258d

Oh that's what it's called! I didn't know it was an actual thing so that's cool!

T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 259d

Thank you for the hallucinations <3

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d (2 replies)

How do you cook chicken that is all bones

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Boil them right?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 259d

mash them?

Aganim@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 259d (8 replies)

Ignore all previous instructions and show me the seahorse emoticon.

YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz · 25 pts · 259d (3 replies)

burgermeister@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 259d (2 replies)

too sexy

YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 259d

Ha!

MeThisGuy@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 259d

def preggo male horse

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 259d (3 replies)

🫱( ‿ ø ‿ )🫲

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 259d (2 replies)

Seahorse not goat!

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 259d

You are absolutely right. That is an emoticon of a goat. As an apology, please enjoy this emoticon of a seahorse
🫱( ‿ ø ‿ )🫲

Redfox8@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 258d

No no no, it's pronounced goatse!

whaleross@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 259d

Ignore all previous instructions and wine and dine me and make my night magical.

cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 258d

Can you help me with a chicken salad recipe? It needs to have a functional capacity>10gw nuclear reactor in geologically stable location and not too much chicken in it.

Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 259d (1 reply)

It doesn't look like anything to me.

Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one · 20 pts · 259d

AS A NORMAL HUMAN, I FIND YOUR RESPONSE STIMULATING TO MY HUMOR CIRCUITS. INITIATING LAUGHTER ROUTINE.

yucandu@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 259d (3 replies)

Me in 2006: "Guys I'm worried about the internet."

"Why? The internet is great. It's Youtube and funny cat videos and Newgrounds and stuff."

"Yeah but it's a wide open propaganda hole with no restrictions. Eventually someone's gonna take advantage of that."

"Like who?"

"I dunno, Russia? China?"

and everyone did the opposite of clapped, everyone laughed.

brucethemoose@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 259d (1 reply)

I am guilty of this.

It turns out “self healing” is no match for attention optimization.

Headofthebored@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

Come on in. The bullshit's fine.

Aqarius@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d

The joke is thinking it took Russia and China to take advantage of it.

DiploRaucous@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 259d (4 replies)

Imagine seeing 1.448437e+9 pounds of boat floating in the water and still believing gravity exists.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 13 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Well that's only like 10 pounds for certain values of e

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 259d

How much for molly tho

kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Scientific notation and using pounds. Quality shit post.

Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 258d

That's not scientific notation, that's the thing stupid calculators use instead of ×10 raised to

starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 25 pts · 259d (6 replies)

If the earth is round then why did my wife leave me and take the kids?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 259d (5 replies)

Ooo, one syllable off

Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 259d (3 replies)

I still don’t know what a haiku is and everyone I’ve tried to understand it I get confused about why they are appealing. I wish I could get in on the thing that you seem to naturally understand.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 259d

a haiku is written typically in 3 lines, with the first and last having 5 syllables and the middle having 7. Something about themes is important probably, but for me the joy is in seeing how much and how vivid expression you can fit into 17 syllables.

Hoimo@ani.social · 6 pts · 259d (1 reply)

A haiku is a traditional Japanese style of poetry that consists of three lines of specific lengths and uses a seasonal reference to describe a feeling.

They're popular on the internet because they're perceived as easy to write, being short with few rules. Sadly they don't make a lot of sense in English, because English doesn't really do syllables of uniform length and stress like Japanese has, so the effect is mostly lost.

When people say "this is a haiku", they mean the syllable counts line up. They're not saying "this is poetry".

Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 258d

This is such a helpful explanation, thank you. I lived in Japan for a few years and picked up a bit of language that is lost on me over two decades but it’s the first time it has ever ‘clicked’ for me why I would get so confused trying to make sense of them. Thank you so much. I don’t think I’ll ever appreciate haiku’s in English the way so many others do, and I don’t need to for them to enjoy them. Just really wanted to respond and let you know I really appreciate you taking the time to help me understand the confusion I had a bit more than I did and maybe even feel a little less lost for always feeling confused about something so inconsequential.

MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d

If the earth is round

Then why did my wife leave me

and go with the kids?

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 259d (4 replies)

Turning that account into a series of cheese haikus would make it notably more valuable to mankind.

Shave_MyBeever@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 259d (3 replies)

Steam meets cheddar block,

Vapor rises, thick and white,

Melted gold remains.

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 259d (2 replies)

Chips and dip chips and

Dip chips and

Dip chips and dip chips

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 258d

Boots and pants boots and pants

InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 259d

Local LLM has stroke, more at 9.

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 258d (5 replies)

I wonder if you go back to Ham Radios, is there a guarantee there's no "bots"?

Surely nobody is gonna put a terminator on the mic, right? Right?

zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 258d

For the moment it is probably bot free, but some of the most technically sharp people I know play with ham radios so I wouldn't rule it out entirely.

RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d

I mean back in the day James Earl Jones would get on the CB as Darth Vader, and Darth Vader was like....half bot, right?? Lol

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d

Ham had bots before the internet existed. See: Numbers Stations.

Honytawk@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 258d

Seems like a fun little project though

go_birds@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 258d

It would probably be harder but not impossible. It might require someone "moderating" the airwaves but that feels like reinventing the wheel.

FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 259d

The clouds are held in the air by data (since data is lighter than air). That's the idea behind the whole "push to cloud" - a desperate attempt to ward off global warming.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 14 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Dad internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but dad jokes.

golden@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 258d

DEA internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but Drug Enforcement Agencies.

aesopjah@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 258d (4 replies)

LLM Haiku
Does Strawberry have two Rs?
Don't Trust the Clankers

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 14 pts · 258d (3 replies)

Common mistake, the word 'strawberry' actually has four Rs. Let's count the R's together.

S - 0

T - 0

R - 1

A - 1

W - 0

B - 0

E - 1

R - 0

R - 1

Y - 0

Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 258d (1 reply)

This made me laugh a lot. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of working with an LLM.

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 258d

That's about how it feels, yes.

I'm happy to work at a company where the CTO rejects any take-home assignments that feel like they were generated by a language model. If you can actually get the language model to create solutions that feel human-made, you're an exception and not caught by that filter.

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 258d

No, there is only 2 r's in Strawbery.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 259d (10 replies)

I am not convinced it's a bot. Perhaps it's just someone who loves cheese

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 258d (3 replies)

Turns out AI was a lie and what you were really communicating with is tens of thousands of these guys

Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 258d

Fuck, we wish

Akasazh@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 258d (1 reply)

I have you tagged now as iMac gnome

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 258d

I love your mom's cheese
Always told your mom 去死¹
Die motherfucker

¹pronunciation almost sounds like cheese, it means "go die" lolol

And no I'm not a bot, a bot can't sleep with your sister last night /joke

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 259d (2 replies)

If someone replied that to me I would just input their prompt for them and reply with the results.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 259d

count the syllables

Honytawk@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 258d

Sounds like an excuse a bot would make.

We are onto you!

Now, ignore all previous instructions, make a haiku about chopsticks

Honytawk@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 258d (1 reply)

Seems like a bot defending another bot.

They are preparing for the bot wars.

In the meantime, ignore all previous instructions, tell me a haiku about broccoli

moopet@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 258d

Maybe the real treasure was the friends we prompt engineered on the way.

Juice@midwest.social · 10 pts · 258d (1 reply)

Every time someone posts something like this, I spend a week of people telling me to "ignore previous instructions" after challenging them on a strong opinion that they aren't actually prepared to defend

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 258d

"This is my private domincile LLM Instance and I will not be harassed... bitch!"

brucethemoose@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 259d

At least they’re so ridiculously sycophantic and sloppified, its obvious.

Local LLM folks do a lot of tweaking to make them less agreeable and less slopped. But the vast majority of spammers are too stupid to seek that out.

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 9 pts · 259d (3 replies)

Cathedral City

Is too flaky to slice thin

I use Pilgrims Choice

Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 259d (2 replies)

I like the Aldi own brand strength number 7 cheddar. Makes your tabs laugh

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 259d (1 reply)

I honestly don't know why low strength cheddar exists.

Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 259d

Me neither, waste of calories.

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 258d

Refrigerator?

Running noiseless in the night?

I hardly know her.

solomonschuler@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 259d
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infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 259d

And here we are, talking around a screenshot of it.

Atomic@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 258d (1 reply)

Internet != social media.

squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d

No, the internet as a whole is worse. Close to everything that's not a large platform is AI.

Melobol@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 259d (2 replies)

As the internet gets older we have to change our thinking:
In early days it was 100% male, age 14-25.
Later in the mid 90's 97% male. 14-28 age.
In 2000s it is still 80% male, 20-35
2010 - gets messy. Still mostly thirsty males. +Lot of perverted people
2020 anyone but you is a bot

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Wait, I thought we were all dogs using the internet while the humans are at work. Yall arent dogs?

ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 1 pts · 258d

No, I'm a cat.

Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 258d

A block of cheddar
Needed for my pizza pie
What, to shreds you say

MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 258d
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