Hard emphasis on "Depends on the person." I have a friend in their early 40s who currently can't meet anything on this list due to financial hardships and unstable living conditions.
I also have two elderly friends who are unhoused due to all the shelters being booked as a result of the heat.
I can +1 this. I'm that guy. Especially #1,2 &4...
If my landlord dies (she's in her 70s and not doing well) I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. I have an absurdly low rent for the area I'm in (1,400/month +utilities for a shit garage "apartment" is considered cheap here...) and if I have to move it will be out of the state and I have to leave my job... Being an uneducated piece of shit my job prospects, especially in this economy, are pretty much nil.
My sister in-law is from that country you simp for, and an entire section of her family has been living on the street for decades. So, fuck the world, pal.
how? I know after 40 I just resigned myself I will not be something else when I would grew up (mechanic, doctor, lawyer, whatever) and that I'll be a software developer for the rest of my life :-/
It’s mostly acceptance that you are already grown up, and a career change involves financially weighing the benefits of the new career vs the lost income to train for it. Add to it the fact that the working runway gets shorter and shorter which reduces the financial payoff, and you’re not changing careers after your 40s unless it’s for love/enjoyment.
I think we were sold a lot of Hollywood bullshit about living for your job and working all evening or dream jobs that involved taking our laptops to Starbucks to plan parties for the rich and famous. But at the end of the day, a job is a job - nobody would pay you to do it if it was that fun. And so my choice is to make as much as I can to allow me to enjoy my leisure time, which means staying in my current career where I have already climbed the ladder.
There is some truth to this... I've moved on from the ideas that I might be highly influential or consequential. Now I just focus on trying to be a good person, do good deeds that keep me happy, tell nazis to DIAF, etc. No fame to be had for me. Other than a few immediate family members, I'll be forgotten to time when I die.
Luck, basically. I landed a career that I actually enjoy, it pays decently, and I'm given a lot of freedom and flexibility. I tried having a "normal job", but in my mid 30s I concluded that normal jobs are for normal people, so I reached out to some former coworkers and got back into offshore seismic survey. I have since landed a supporting role where most of it is done from home.
Most of the advantages don't come from being over 40, but rather, from the experience of having lived over 40 years. What you have is knowledge and perspective. You can make better choices, fall into fewer traps. It's that "wisdom" thing you may have heard of.
Also, as most people over 40 have been working for some time now, many of us (though definitely not all) have reached a different phase of their life financially. In my 20s, when things went wrong it was generally like "well, this is my life now", but in my 40s when something goes wrong it's more often like "ok, how much will it cost for this problem to go away?". And don't forget, with all of that wisdom we have, sometimes we can just solve the problem, but when that won't work, throwing money at problems is generally effective.
Finally, I think someone already said it, but it's worth repeating. You stop giving a shit about a lot of things, and it's liberating. It feels like honesty and confidence and contentment.
if you do put in the work you can feel better than when you were younger.
you see all this carastrophic obesity going on/ insomnia/stress and its no wonder people are feeling shit all the time. you can feel your body breaking down before 40.
not like youre going to reverse aging but you can at least give yourself and your loved ones a break from dealing with something like an early stroke or unable to physically care for yourself for a significant part of your life.
Yeah, I'm trying to get better at that. More exercise, more stretching, more vegetables in my diet. It's a process, but I'm starting to feel the difference.
Awesome! same. agreed it is a process. I kind of wish this kind of thing was more normalized so that it would feel less like a massive adjustment of shaking off the sugar/salt/fat/sitting/drama addictions imposed by so much of the media and capitalism.
Seconded. In the last 12 months, my eyesight has taken a turn and I am not sleeping as well. Less focus, forgetting more things, having to ask, "What?" way more often.
The focus might be brain rot... Need to get off Lemmy.
Not giving a shit what other people think of you. I think this starts, for most people, earlier than their 40's but it's still great. I don't care about impressing anyone except me.
I feel like people my own age care way more about their perception of others than they did when they were younger.
It's just less about what old band/fashion you are into and more about what car you drive and how big your house is and where you vacation. It's not about how cool you are now, it's about how important/successful you are.
I certainly do not meet many folks my own age who don't give many fucks about this stuff, they are incredibly rare, and younger people seem to care way less about it.
I just turned 60, and in the wake of my divorce 5 years ago I've made a dedicated effort to get my health and fitness in order, and am now in the best physical condition of my life. As I recently re-entered the dating pool, I've discovered that being a fit, good-looking man over 40, I'm in high demand.
Roughly half of all Americans are overweight, and I have no doubt that percentage increases significantly in men over 40. As a consequence, I have access to more attractive women than I've ever had in my life, and older women can be quite aggressive.
In the U.S., at age 30 there are roughly 120 single men per 100 single women. By age 45 there are only 95 single men per 100 single women, and by age 55 there are only 57. That is a massive shift that completely changes the power dynamic. There are a LOT of attractive women over 40, and I'm finding that while I did very well with women in my younger days, that pales in comparison to my experience today.
This was true for me as a woman as well. Like when I was younger I was middle good looking, maybe average, but as I got older I moved up because so many people got fat or let go. Like just by maintaining I got relatively better looking compared to peers.
And I can confirm, good looking and fit guys my age are not common but so hot!
This is really how I've started to live life, and it's also how I approach solo travelling. No one can stop me from going, and no one can make me do things I don't want to when I'm by myself.
It does work well.
However, I'm not even 40 yet, but the idea is still the same.
I'm hard pressed for advantages. I care less for opinions of others, but also feel immense frustration that those exact opinions influence my life too often.
I appreciate many things more because I have the experience to know how much effort they were, but also lost my fascination amd feeling of wonder.
I think it is not an issue with being older as such. It is the time we live in.
Struggles increasing while the body and mind are decreasing.
Emotional regulation. Better pay, if you have been able to work consistently. Kids older, easier to deal with. Happier, and can make better decisions because we are not so hotheaded.
I agree, I really cringe at emotional social choices I made 20 years ago.
However, I think the better pay is because I have 17 years experience in my field. If I started today, I wouldn’t earn the same because I wouldn’t yet be performing at my current capacity. It’s easier because we went through the suck already.
Turning 40 freaked me out a bit, but it hasn't been that bad, outside of the whole "collapsing society" thing that's been going on the last several years. I have a wonderful wife and kid, chickens, a dog, a cat with a heart full of disdain, and two dorky cars. I have good neighbors, a decent job, I honestly feel kinda guilty for how well I've been doing since I turned 40.
Being immune to the vagaries of pop culture and being pleasantly baffled when celebs make the news and you have no fucking idea who they are.
It's also kind of wild because a lot of the really, really famous young people look entirely the opposite of the super-good-looking A-listers of the past. Guess its great that the younger generation seem less superficial than we were, but my programming struggles to process it when I see some pasty, odd looking dweeb and find out they're outstreamng the Beatles or whatever.
Theoretically you have savings and assets but that is highly job and economy dependent. From my experience every year the math on retirement gets more grim.
If I’m not standing or moving enough, my body tells me because my back, legs, or knees hurt. Drink too much or too late? I’ll wake up at like 3am and not be able to go back to sleep. Haven’t worked out lately? Everyday tasks are perceptively harder and I’ll sleep like trash. Eat too much or not healthy enough? Tummy ache.
Feeling good is simply being kind to my future self and I actively know when I’m mortgaging my short term future.
Now if I could just figure out how to do the same thing with work obligations…
I am the sole man having lunch break with a group of women.
Whenever they start talking about how disgusting beards are, which is surprisingly more common that it ought to be, they always come to the same conclusion: Beards are nice if the man "keeps it", by groming, cleaning, cutting, brushing, shaving the stubble and so on. A good beard is a plus, a bad beard is negative. And so they always make sure to point out that they don't mean me, because I'm one of the guys with a good beard.
They're all simultaneously looking at me, judging my beard and agreeing that this is the acceptable kind of beard, looking for my input and begging for my mansplanation.
However I just nod, and say "yeah yeah mm.mm. you have a point". I don't actually let them in on my secret to my "acceptable beard", because what the fuck are they to do with that anyway? They don't have beards.
My best years were between 40 and 47: my body was still mostly problem free, I was already financially secure, and I had enough life experience to know stupid when I saw it.
Then at 47, the progressives came onto the scene. Then shortly after, the small aches in the morning for no reason. Then I started to get a gloved finger up my ass on a regular basis to check my prostate...
That's also when I realized aging comes in bursts, and my first big burst was around that time - just before 50 - and it fucking sucked. That's the first time I felt limited in some of the things I did before, and that's the first time I felt on the decline for real.
If you're 40, enjoy it bubba, because it'll be over before you know it.
For me it was 54. Before that I was like "let's go down this mountain on bicycles!" or "hé look I walk on my hands!!!" and all kinds of teenageish things. I always said "it's incredible I'm 53 and absolutely no hurt anywhere! knees, back, etc all 100% perfect!!!" I was able to do all kind of job in my house, the backyard, etc, never had any pains or aches.
Then at 54 it looks like andropause hit my body quite violently saying "dude you're not 20 anymore!!".
I used to get tickets constantly. I wasn't a wild speeder, just always got caught.
I drive MUCH faster now, more frequently and for longer durations. I also drive a bright green muscle car so I'm not inconspicuous at all. I haven't gotten a ticket in ages. The last time i did get one, I paid a lawyer to make it go away.
So money and a good beard seem to put a stop to most of that. Being able to go 80-90 and not worry too much about it is nice (on clear empty roads, not like a dickbag weaving through traffic).
I have had several LTRs but anytime I came close to marriage they got caught lying and thinks ended. I don't think I've ever dated anyone who was ever honest with me my entire life. Shit's wild.
And yet I see friends and family with very honest relationships around me that have lasted for decades, don't really know anyone who got divorced, other than a couple of acquaintances who I didn't really like because they seemed like insecure jerks, and they were always bragging about their relationships which was also why I was put off by them.
More vacation days (probably depending on your union, but at least where I work the older you are the more vacation days you get).
Can start looking forward to retirement maybe?
People don't follow me on the street or interrupt my day to try to chat me up. Though soon they'll start doing it to scam me instead, so staying sceptical.
A lot fewer people stubbornly mistake my friendliness for flirting.
I'm more aware of my limits, and people tend to respect it faster when I set boundaries.
Though I'm early in it, so there's more to come for sure.
Thank you... unfortunately, the system is working exactly as it was designed to do. If people can't lose their job because they'll also lose their health/healthcare then they won't fight back even against little injustices, let alone large ones. I dream of a day when the U.S. has universal healthcare, but I don't think I'll see it in what's left of my lifetime.
People stop pushing you to get married and have children. By now, they know you're not interested, have terrible taste in partners, or they regret their own marriages/children and envy your slack life. The surgical removal of organs needed to reproduce helps too, and you can get it done much easier if you're older. For free! Thanks Obama.
Being less dependent on pleasing other people allowed me to rest better.
I can survive on less money because I have paid off student debt and have good benefits
Getting to know my partner more. Every day we are getting better at being partners.
A lot less FOMO. I know I will not enjoy going to a big party. I can enjoy a quiet evening without feeling regret.
My overall life experiences make it easier for me to pick up (some) new skills. I can see how what I learned about geometry helps me be a better potter.
I feel more comfortable letting things go because I have experience that it won't matter to me in a day or week. Do that a 1000+ times and it will stick 😅
If you make good choices in life getting older = life gets better.
If you don't, you will not like aging.
I regularly meet folks who are in their 30s, 10 years younger than me, who are already freaking out about aging. But they have not made good choices and are freaking out at the consequences of the stupid crap they did when they were younger coming home to roost, and the fact they are 35 and still living like college kids.
Luck is a big part of it too. Start developing a chronic illness in your 20s/30s? Get ready for a lifetime of dealing with it and its knockoff effects and the various other ailments associated with getting older. Or maybe you're fine but your spouse isn't, and instead of supporting each other as you age it's the two of you just trying to manage their condition.
everyone i know who freaks out about 'the times' often has a workaholic, with no hobbies/friends outside of their job, and overspends compulsively.... and doesn't eat right or exercise... which are all 'bad choices' if you ask me. and they spend their free time boozing and consuming shitty social media crap... which is a surefire way to ruin your mental and physical health.
it doesn't matter how much success you have in life if you squander it by choosing to be miserable and resentful you don't have more, and a lot of folks do that their entire life.
To a very limited degree, you get a little more 'respect', but it's often fake and fragile. Otherwise, nothing... body starts degrading and it's all down-hill.
The respect thing confused me so much. Then realizing the wrong response is to list all the ways you are not worthy of the respect or confidence that is placed in you.
"What other people think of me is none of my business" goes both ways lol
The biggest thing I've noticed is people now angrily demand that I give them my money or I'm a selfish asshole or I'm cheap.
Nobody was telling me that at 30. It's so weird to have people just demand you give them money.
Like sometimes I just want a salad lady, I'm not going to order the lobster just so your tip is fatter. I don't even enjoy lobster or steak or other super pricey plates.
In a very pragmatic way: Not having to care about society ending events as much as younger generations. Even if shit hits the fan tomorrow, I had 40+ years of a, historically speaking, luxurious life.
Not giving a fuck anymore about what the other think
If lucky, the age/paygrade to choose what you do at your work
Less pressure on dating, you may be single/divorcee/married, you usually made the peace with it and even if you may think about something else it's not the roaring 30's and the wild 20's
Experience means you start to have do a lot of stuff, including all the mistake kids do
As others have said, caring less about what others think of me.
This means, even though I've only been in my current role at work for under 2 months, I'm already one of the most vocal and outgoing to the point that my line manager already didn't know how long I'd been there as it felt like ages and I was already part of the furniture.
Also financial security, house(s), pension/superannuation, kids etc.
Need to get back to the gym a bit more though - have a home gym so no real excuse other than being a bit more tired as metabolism has slowed but it ramps up quickly enough within a few weeks of being back at it and that helps with all general life tasks. So you feel more awake and stronger and being in your 40s, you really notice the difference, unlike in your 20s.
I'm gleefully waiting for the time at work I can just flat out refuse to do something critical because it didn't follow SOP or something. Fucking fire me, I dare you. But my name will not being going on that mess and I'll encourage others to stay away until management unfucks themselves.
If you want to take it that way I can't change how you feel. I really was talking about the fact that maybe you need to work on finding reasons to want to stick around.
101 Comments
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 54 pts · 32d
Depends on the person, but in my case:
lemmyng@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 32d
Hard emphasis on "Depends on the person." I have a friend in their early 40s who currently can't meet anything on this list due to financial hardships and unstable living conditions.
I also have two elderly friends who are unhoused due to all the shelters being booked as a result of the heat.
Fuck Amerikkka by the way.
Asafum@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 32d
I can +1 this. I'm that guy. Especially #1,2 &4...
If my landlord dies (she's in her 70s and not doing well) I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. I have an absurdly low rent for the area I'm in (1,400/month +utilities for a shit garage "apartment" is considered cheap here...) and if I have to move it will be out of the state and I have to leave my job... Being an uneducated piece of shit my job prospects, especially in this economy, are pretty much nil.
kibblebits@quokk.au · 7 pts · 32d
My sister in-law is from that country you simp for, and an entire section of her family has been living on the street for decades. So, fuck the world, pal.
naeap@sopuli.xyz · 15 pts · 32d
Financial stability... Seems I'm doing something wrong
Fewer worries? I didn't gave a shit in my 20th, since my burnout I'm a complete wreck
I think, everyone has something different at that age
I do start to notice, what's actually important to me, but being a nerve wreck, I don't have the base to really go for the things, I care about
Magister@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 32d
how? I know after 40 I just resigned myself I will not be something else when I would grew up (mechanic, doctor, lawyer, whatever) and that I'll be a software developer for the rest of my life :-/
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 31d
It’s mostly acceptance that you are already grown up, and a career change involves financially weighing the benefits of the new career vs the lost income to train for it. Add to it the fact that the working runway gets shorter and shorter which reduces the financial payoff, and you’re not changing careers after your 40s unless it’s for love/enjoyment.
I think we were sold a lot of Hollywood bullshit about living for your job and working all evening or dream jobs that involved taking our laptops to Starbucks to plan parties for the rich and famous. But at the end of the day, a job is a job - nobody would pay you to do it if it was that fun. And so my choice is to make as much as I can to allow me to enjoy my leisure time, which means staying in my current career where I have already climbed the ladder.
echo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 32d
There is some truth to this... I've moved on from the ideas that I might be highly influential or consequential. Now I just focus on trying to be a good person, do good deeds that keep me happy, tell nazis to DIAF, etc. No fame to be had for me. Other than a few immediate family members, I'll be forgotten to time when I die.
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 32d
Luck, basically. I landed a career that I actually enjoy, it pays decently, and I'm given a lot of freedom and flexibility. I tried having a "normal job", but in my mid 30s I concluded that normal jobs are for normal people, so I reached out to some former coworkers and got back into offshore seismic survey. I have since landed a supporting role where most of it is done from home.
Magister@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 32d
I still enjoy being a software developer, I also WFH since COVID which is incredible
valar@lemmy.ca · 44 pts · 32d
Giving less fucks in general
Cocodapuf@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 31d
Most of the advantages don't come from being over 40, but rather, from the experience of having lived over 40 years. What you have is knowledge and perspective. You can make better choices, fall into fewer traps. It's that "wisdom" thing you may have heard of.
Also, as most people over 40 have been working for some time now, many of us (though definitely not all) have reached a different phase of their life financially. In my 20s, when things went wrong it was generally like "well, this is my life now", but in my 40s when something goes wrong it's more often like "ok, how much will it cost for this problem to go away?". And don't forget, with all of that wisdom we have, sometimes we can just solve the problem, but when that won't work, throwing money at problems is generally effective.
Finally, I think someone already said it, but it's worth repeating. You stop giving a shit about a lot of things, and it's liberating. It feels like honesty and confidence and contentment.
CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 31d
This is the right answer.
Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works · 37 pts · 32d
Honestly, the only disadvantage is that you can start to feel your body breaking down.
Everything else just gets better. You're wiser, smarter, more confident, less bothered, and you have fewer fucks to give.
And honestly, I look hotter now than I did in my twenties or thirties.
If only the world didn't keep on getting worse every year.
Smoogs@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 31d
if you do put in the work you can feel better than when you were younger.
you see all this carastrophic obesity going on/ insomnia/stress and its no wonder people are feeling shit all the time. you can feel your body breaking down before 40.
not like youre going to reverse aging but you can at least give yourself and your loved ones a break from dealing with something like an early stroke or unable to physically care for yourself for a significant part of your life.
Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 31d
Yeah, I'm trying to get better at that. More exercise, more stretching, more vegetables in my diet. It's a process, but I'm starting to feel the difference.
Smoogs@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 31d
Awesome! same. agreed it is a process. I kind of wish this kind of thing was more normalized so that it would feel less like a massive adjustment of shaking off the sugar/salt/fat/sitting/drama addictions imposed by so much of the media and capitalism.
laranis@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 32d
Seconded. In the last 12 months, my eyesight has taken a turn and I am not sleeping as well. Less focus, forgetting more things, having to ask, "What?" way more often.
The focus might be brain rot... Need to get off Lemmy.
jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works · 32 pts · 32d
Not giving a shit what other people think of you. I think this starts, for most people, earlier than their 40's but it's still great. I don't care about impressing anyone except me.
AskewLord@piefed.social · 1 pts · 31d
I feel like people my own age care way more about their perception of others than they did when they were younger.
It's just less about what old band/fashion you are into and more about what car you drive and how big your house is and where you vacation. It's not about how cool you are now, it's about how important/successful you are.
I certainly do not meet many folks my own age who don't give many fucks about this stuff, they are incredibly rare, and younger people seem to care way less about it.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 26 pts · 32d
You know more, but you're also aware of how much you don't know.
N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 32d
I just turned 60, and in the wake of my divorce 5 years ago I've made a dedicated effort to get my health and fitness in order, and am now in the best physical condition of my life. As I recently re-entered the dating pool, I've discovered that being a fit, good-looking man over 40, I'm in high demand.
Roughly half of all Americans are overweight, and I have no doubt that percentage increases significantly in men over 40. As a consequence, I have access to more attractive women than I've ever had in my life, and older women can be quite aggressive.
In the U.S., at age 30 there are roughly 120 single men per 100 single women. By age 45 there are only 95 single men per 100 single women, and by age 55 there are only 57. That is a massive shift that completely changes the power dynamic. There are a LOT of attractive women over 40, and I'm finding that while I did very well with women in my younger days, that pales in comparison to my experience today.
ShieldsUp@startrek.website · 14 pts · 32d
As someone who just turned 40 and been single for 8 years, this is very promising!
RBWells@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 31d
This was true for me as a woman as well. Like when I was younger I was middle good looking, maybe average, but as I got older I moved up because so many people got fat or let go. Like just by maintaining I got relatively better looking compared to peers.
And I can confirm, good looking and fit guys my age are not common but so hot!
MisterNeon@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 32d
It's easier to stop caring and engaging with aspects of culture that you find distasteful.
fiendishplan@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 32d
Not giving a shit about so much stuff.
TryingToBeGood@reddthat.com · 18 pts · 31d
as a woman: less street harassment.
thezeesystem@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 32d
Only advantage for me is that I'm closer to death and ending this exhausting existence on this world.
Weirdfish@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 32d
I live by two simple statements, "No one can make me" and "No one can stop me". I adopted this some time in my early forties.
This applies mostly to social events and activities.
Want to jump on my motorcycle and head off for a weekend? No one can stop me.
Don't want to attend a wedding or birthday party? No one can make me.
My time is mine, and I'm free to choose that which I do and don't want to engage in.
Aside from that, as others have said, you really do stop giving a fuck what other people think of you.
This leads, at least in my case, to a smaller, but far higher quality social circle.
ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 31d
This is really how I've started to live life, and it's also how I approach solo travelling. No one can stop me from going, and no one can make me do things I don't want to when I'm by myself.
It does work well.
However, I'm not even 40 yet, but the idea is still the same.
SunshineJogger@feddit.org · 14 pts · 31d
Mid 40 here.
I'm hard pressed for advantages. I care less for opinions of others, but also feel immense frustration that those exact opinions influence my life too often.
I appreciate many things more because I have the experience to know how much effort they were, but also lost my fascination amd feeling of wonder.
I think it is not an issue with being older as such. It is the time we live in.
Struggles increasing while the body and mind are decreasing.
wilt@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 32d
Experience.
As long as you stay current and are willing to be malleable, your mind is a weapon forged with time.
DrBob@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 32d
Nobody expects great feats of strength. They look to nephews for manual labor.
meco03211@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 32d
Much easier to air your grievances at this age too.
sixtoe@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 31d
You don't have to wait as long to die.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 31d
You no longer fear death, you yearn for it
sixtoe@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 30d
Planning happens too. Gotta look after your own corpse. Yearning is for when you don't have enough girl cock to suck.
RBWells@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 31d
Emotional regulation. Better pay, if you have been able to work consistently. Kids older, easier to deal with. Happier, and can make better decisions because we are not so hotheaded.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 31d
I agree, I really cringe at emotional social choices I made 20 years ago.
However, I think the better pay is because I have 17 years experience in my field. If I started today, I wouldn’t earn the same because I wouldn’t yet be performing at my current capacity. It’s easier because we went through the suck already.
RBWells@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 31d
Same. Experience is why the pay gets better and getting experience does suck, but all those mistakes and problems pay off in knowledge and judgement.
CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 31d
Turning 40 freaked me out a bit, but it hasn't been that bad, outside of the whole "collapsing society" thing that's been going on the last several years. I have a wonderful wife and kid, chickens, a dog, a cat with a heart full of disdain, and two dorky cars. I have good neighbors, a decent job, I honestly feel kinda guilty for how well I've been doing since I turned 40.
zxqwas@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 32d
Do you remember how anxious and insecure you were 10 years ago? Think about how much better are you at dealing with that shit today.
That just keeps growing.
derAbsender@piefed.social · 9 pts · 31d
It's almost over.
YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 31d
Being immune to the vagaries of pop culture and being pleasantly baffled when celebs make the news and you have no fucking idea who they are.
It's also kind of wild because a lot of the really, really famous young people look entirely the opposite of the super-good-looking A-listers of the past. Guess its great that the younger generation seem less superficial than we were, but my programming struggles to process it when I see some pasty, odd looking dweeb and find out they're outstreamng the Beatles or whatever.
HubertManne@piefed.social · 9 pts · 32d
Theoretically you have savings and assets but that is highly job and economy dependent. From my experience every year the math on retirement gets more grim.
baller_w@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 32d
Physical feedback becomes un-ignorable.
If I’m not standing or moving enough, my body tells me because my back, legs, or knees hurt. Drink too much or too late? I’ll wake up at like 3am and not be able to go back to sleep. Haven’t worked out lately? Everyday tasks are perceptively harder and I’ll sleep like trash. Eat too much or not healthy enough? Tummy ache.
Feeling good is simply being kind to my future self and I actively know when I’m mortgaging my short term future.
Now if I could just figure out how to do the same thing with work obligations…
Lexam@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 31d
As a 45 year old white man, I feel much more comfortable in giving my opinion and uneducated wisdom to others.
Doomsider@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 31d
gathers around for the mansplaining
bstix@feddit.dk · 2 pts · 31d
I am the sole man having lunch break with a group of women.
Whenever they start talking about how disgusting beards are, which is surprisingly more common that it ought to be, they always come to the same conclusion: Beards are nice if the man "keeps it", by groming, cleaning, cutting, brushing, shaving the stubble and so on. A good beard is a plus, a bad beard is negative. And so they always make sure to point out that they don't mean me, because I'm one of the guys with a good beard.
They're all simultaneously looking at me, judging my beard and agreeing that this is the acceptable kind of beard, looking for my input and begging for my mansplanation.
However I just nod, and say "yeah yeah mm.mm. you have a point". I don't actually let them in on my secret to my "acceptable beard", because what the fuck are they to do with that anyway? They don't have beards.
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 8 pts · 31d
People think you know more than you do.
MarieMarion@literature.cafe · 8 pts · 30d
The absolute absence of shits I now give.
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 30d
Your toilet vehemently disagrees with you.
ExtremeDullard@piefed.social · 7 pts · 32d
My best years were between 40 and 47: my body was still mostly problem free, I was already financially secure, and I had enough life experience to know stupid when I saw it.
Then at 47, the progressives came onto the scene. Then shortly after, the small aches in the morning for no reason. Then I started to get a gloved finger up my ass on a regular basis to check my prostate...
That's also when I realized aging comes in bursts, and my first big burst was around that time - just before 50 - and it fucking sucked. That's the first time I felt limited in some of the things I did before, and that's the first time I felt on the decline for real.
If you're 40, enjoy it bubba, because it'll be over before you know it.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 32d
Glad to hear that at least one good thing came from it all.
Magister@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 32d
For me it was 54. Before that I was like "let's go down this mountain on bicycles!" or "hé look I walk on my hands!!!" and all kinds of teenageish things. I always said "it's incredible I'm 53 and absolutely no hurt anywhere! knees, back, etc all 100% perfect!!!" I was able to do all kind of job in my house, the backyard, etc, never had any pains or aches.
Then at 54 it looks like andropause hit my body quite violently saying "dude you're not 20 anymore!!".
Also got the finger and the camera, twice.
AskewLord@piefed.social · 1 pts · 32d
I got my first ass check at 38.
I already knew a guy who had colon surgery at 35.
Butt cancer is on a massive surge and they are pushing coloscopy checks younger and younger.
ExtremeDullard@piefed.social · 3 pts · 32d
I survived cancer 3 times already. I figure I'm probably immune by now 🙂
Hermit_Lailoken@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 32d
For the most part, cops leave me alone. That was not the case in my younger years. It helps that I don't do illegal things as much anymore.
blargh513@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 31d
I used to get tickets constantly. I wasn't a wild speeder, just always got caught.
I drive MUCH faster now, more frequently and for longer durations. I also drive a bright green muscle car so I'm not inconspicuous at all. I haven't gotten a ticket in ages. The last time i did get one, I paid a lawyer to make it go away.
So money and a good beard seem to put a stop to most of that. Being able to go 80-90 and not worry too much about it is nice (on clear empty roads, not like a dickbag weaving through traffic).
SelfHigh5@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 31d
«Now that I’m older, I can disregard the safety of others on the road without consequence” isn’t the brag you think it is.
blargh513@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 31d
See other responses about not giving a shit what others think.
Hermit_Lailoken@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 31d
I, too, speed at times. lol
starlinguk@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 32d
Wellllll...
I got married.
For the rest, physically things were going really well until I got post covid.
AskewLord@piefed.social · 1 pts · 32d
how is that going for you.
I have had several LTRs but anytime I came close to marriage they got caught lying and thinks ended. I don't think I've ever dated anyone who was ever honest with me my entire life. Shit's wild.
And yet I see friends and family with very honest relationships around me that have lasted for decades, don't really know anyone who got divorced, other than a couple of acquaintances who I didn't really like because they seemed like insecure jerks, and they were always bragging about their relationships which was also why I was put off by them.
Strider@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 31d
Experiencing all the various pain you only ever read about.
Oh, wait..
kindnesskills@literature.cafe · 6 pts · 32d
More vacation days (probably depending on your union, but at least where I work the older you are the more vacation days you get).
Can start looking forward to retirement maybe?
People don't follow me on the street or interrupt my day to try to chat me up. Though soon they'll start doing it to scam me instead, so staying sceptical.
A lot fewer people stubbornly mistake my friendliness for flirting.
I'm more aware of my limits, and people tend to respect it faster when I set boundaries.
Though I'm early in it, so there's more to come for sure.
echo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 32d
I long for (early) retirement, but I'm pretty sure I'll have to continue working until I die just so that I have health insurance. :(
kindnesskills@literature.cafe · 1 pts · 31d
That's infuriating. I'm sorry. Hopefully y'all will have had time to fix your health care system by then.
echo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 30d
Thank you... unfortunately, the system is working exactly as it was designed to do. If people can't lose their job because they'll also lose their health/healthcare then they won't fight back even against little injustices, let alone large ones. I dream of a day when the U.S. has universal healthcare, but I don't think I'll see it in what's left of my lifetime.
ayyy@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 32d
Money!
Johniegordo@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 32d
For me is confidence, self awareness and focus. And money too. If I could only heal like when I was in my 20s...
moleverine@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 32d
I have generally stopped caring what people think of me, and it has actually made me a more pleasant, confident person.
frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io · 5 pts · 32d
People stop pushing you to get married and have children. By now, they know you're not interested, have terrible taste in partners, or they regret their own marriages/children and envy your slack life. The surgical removal of organs needed to reproduce helps too, and you can get it done much easier if you're older. For free! Thanks Obama.
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online · 3 pts · 32d
AskewLord@piefed.social · 3 pts · 32d
If you make good choices in life getting older = life gets better.
If you don't, you will not like aging.
I regularly meet folks who are in their 30s, 10 years younger than me, who are already freaking out about aging. But they have not made good choices and are freaking out at the consequences of the stupid crap they did when they were younger coming home to roost, and the fact they are 35 and still living like college kids.
fireweed@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 32d
Luck is a big part of it too. Start developing a chronic illness in your 20s/30s? Get ready for a lifetime of dealing with it and its knockoff effects and the various other ailments associated with getting older. Or maybe you're fine but your spouse isn't, and instead of supporting each other as you age it's the two of you just trying to manage their condition.
abbadon420@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 32d
I don't think I have made particularly bad choices, but I am also freaking out about getting older at age 35. It's just a sign of the times.
AskewLord@piefed.social · -1 pts · 32d
everyone i know who freaks out about 'the times' often has a workaholic, with no hobbies/friends outside of their job, and overspends compulsively.... and doesn't eat right or exercise... which are all 'bad choices' if you ask me. and they spend their free time boozing and consuming shitty social media crap... which is a surefire way to ruin your mental and physical health.
it doesn't matter how much success you have in life if you squander it by choosing to be miserable and resentful you don't have more, and a lot of folks do that their entire life.
RoddyStiggs@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 31d
Having habits that you have honed to benefit you and having enough experience to develop forethought.
gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org · 3 pts · 30d
only 40 years until retirement (/s)
echo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 32d
To a very limited degree, you get a little more 'respect', but it's often fake and fragile. Otherwise, nothing... body starts degrading and it's all down-hill.
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online · 2 pts · 32d
The respect thing confused me so much. Then realizing the wrong response is to list all the ways you are not worthy of the respect or confidence that is placed in you.
"What other people think of me is none of my business" goes both ways lol
AskewLord@piefed.social · 1 pts · 32d
The biggest thing I've noticed is people now angrily demand that I give them my money or I'm a selfish asshole or I'm cheap.
Nobody was telling me that at 30. It's so weird to have people just demand you give them money.
Like sometimes I just want a salad lady, I'm not going to order the lobster just so your tip is fatter. I don't even enjoy lobster or steak or other super pricey plates.
Menschlicher_Fehler@feddit.org · 3 pts · 32d
In a very pragmatic way: Not having to care about society ending events as much as younger generations. Even if shit hits the fan tomorrow, I had 40+ years of a, historically speaking, luxurious life.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 30d
You stop giving a shit about famous people.
swelter_spark@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 31d
You've got a lot of good stories to tell.
Ziggurat@jlai.lu · 1 pts · 32d
Main cool stuffs,
Not giving a fuck anymore about what the other think
If lucky, the age/paygrade to choose what you do at your work
Less pressure on dating, you may be single/divorcee/married, you usually made the peace with it and even if you may think about something else it's not the roaring 30's and the wild 20's
Experience means you start to have do a lot of stuff, including all the mistake kids do
venusaur@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 32d
You’ve had a lot of time to hopefully figure a lot of things out or make progress towards some goals (little or big). Time is a big differentiator.
stringere@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 28d
Frame of reference gets bigger.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 1 pts · 30d
Not dying at 39. This is weird lol. Aging isn't optional.
Mantzy81@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 32d
As others have said, caring less about what others think of me.
This means, even though I've only been in my current role at work for under 2 months, I'm already one of the most vocal and outgoing to the point that my line manager already didn't know how long I'd been there as it felt like ages and I was already part of the furniture.
Also financial security, house(s), pension/superannuation, kids etc.
Need to get back to the gym a bit more though - have a home gym so no real excuse other than being a bit more tired as metabolism has slowed but it ramps up quickly enough within a few weeks of being back at it and that helps with all general life tasks. So you feel more awake and stronger and being in your 40s, you really notice the difference, unlike in your 20s.
meco03211@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 32d
I'm gleefully waiting for the time at work I can just flat out refuse to do something critical because it didn't follow SOP or something. Fucking fire me, I dare you. But my name will not being going on that mess and I'll encourage others to stay away until management unfucks themselves.
NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 32d
The power of the phrase "If you want me to do that, put it in writing via an email and CC management to get confirmation" only grows stronger with age
Eat_Your_Paisley@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 32d
More perspective and more money.
yuknowhokat@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 32d
The biggest advantage I can think of is that you are not dead yet.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · -1 pts · 32d
Nah... That's a con, not a pro.
yuknowhokat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 31d
So you think it's better to be dead than older? Interesting perspective there.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 1 pts · 31d
Have you seen the world? Shit sucks. I don't wanna be here anymore.
yuknowhokat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 31d
Well, I guess that's something you need to work on.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 1 pts · 31d
Mods, this guy just told me to kill myself! /s
yuknowhokat@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 29d
If you want to take it that way I can't change how you feel. I really was talking about the fact that maybe you need to work on finding reasons to want to stick around.