This definitely started with some engineer saying “how are we going to get around the critical design flaw of these bigass pressurized air containers in the robot being potentially explosive and relatively easy to puncture?”
Marketing it as “give the plebs you sic this thing on a fighting chance, it’ll be funny” is actually a stroke of genius lmao
Plus, the whole "you can easily disable it by puncturing the lung-analog air tank in its torso with a weapon or projectile" and "the horns are to slow it down moving through doorways" bits. What exactly are you trying to design against again because that sounds like a creature, or at the very least something autonomous, not a remote operated robot.
Possible, but I feel like a lot of effort went in for it to only be satire. No obvious AI images, multiple views of the thing including close up of the "hand" and they're all consistent. Could be made as an art sculpture and this is the satirical product page, maybe.
Looks like all the current news coverage of it is reacting as if it's real/credible as well.
It's meant for forestry work (good luck dodging an unexpectedly falling tree fast enough if the chainsaw hands get stuck or a branch pierces the pneumatics: bye bye expensive robot). Yes, it's so scary I just casually mentioned CHAINSAW HANDS.
The window to defeat the unholy alliance of fascists, technofeudalists and plutocrats in the USA is rapidly closing. After they can field such robots in mass, it's going to be over. Forever.
Like, once you get over the terror of the very real concern that this could be used against you to injure you, it's actually pretty cool.
I mean, imagine if you owned it, you could ride it to work, and it could use its arms to carry weapons to attack other bad centaur riders on your way into the office.
Okay, so... Aside from the creepy terrifying robot thing, what's happening in this picture? Is that a door with a full plate glass window... in a wall between two hallways? Is the bot just standing in a large empty room staring through a door without opening it?
Threehalves will be substantially slowed if attempting to navigate a standard American 32"x80" door, and cannot turn around in a 42" wide hallway or enter a door orthogonal to the hallway. Larger horns can be fit to prevent any passage through pedestrian doors.
It's hard to tell if the whole thing is a joke or not. How should much focus should be put on the name satyress
They say that they've made it look scary so that people will not underestimate how dangerous a robot with extreme strength could be to humans around it. Which actually sort of makes sense. It's designed to look like a warning basically to reduce the chance of it accidentally injuring someone while working.
Reminds me of back in the day when I worked in various data centers that had Man-traps for controlling access. I could see them being upgraded to release one of these on you if you failed to properly authenticate when inside one.
86 Comments
Caesium@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 16d
JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca · 54 pts · 16d
Don't worry, they made sure it's killable!
LongLive@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 16d
inverse airbag safety
Magnum@infosec.pub · 7 pts · 15d
How much XP will I get?
felsiq@piefed.zip · 7 pts · 15d
This definitely started with some engineer saying “how are we going to get around the critical design flaw of these bigass pressurized air containers in the robot being potentially explosive and relatively easy to puncture?”
Marketing it as “give the plebs you sic this thing on a fighting chance, it’ll be funny” is actually a stroke of genius lmao
M137@lemmy.today · 11 pts · 16d
I'm pretty sure they know exactly what they're doing.
QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 15d
WHY DID THEY GIVE IT COLOSSUS EYES
tias@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 16d
Looks like something from the SCP wiki
Untamed_Star@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 16d
LOL
Untamed_Star@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 16d
I would run for my life.
bstix@feddit.dk · 1 pts · 16d
Run up the spiral stairs.
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · 45 pts · 16d
I'm gonna fuck it.
M137@lemmy.today · 27 pts · 16d
ಠ_ಠ
::: spoiler spoiler ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) :::
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 23 pts · 16d
Yeah it needs a fleshlight mount on the backside and I'll take it to a cliff where it has no choice but to push back.
fatcat@discuss.tchncs.de · 21 pts · 16d
Well SatansMaggotyCumFart, you have clearly thought about this quite in detail!
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 11 pts · 16d
Honestly the only surprising part here is that you haven't.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 16d
Only if it doesn’t fuck you first
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · 10 pts · 16d
Either way I win.
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net · 2 pts · 15d
Humans are so adorable
xia@lemmy.ca · 38 pts · 16d
Hackworth@piefed.ca · 34 pts · 16d
https://www.satyress.com/
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 43 pts · 16d
jfc, could they make it any more fucking ominous?
Plus, the whole "you can easily disable it by puncturing the lung-analog air tank in its torso with a weapon or projectile" and "the horns are to slow it down moving through doorways" bits. What exactly are you trying to design against again because that sounds like a creature, or at the very least something autonomous, not a remote operated robot.
treadful@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 16d
Surely this is satire, right?
Untamed_Star@piefed.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 16d
No, it is satyress.
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 16d
Possible, but I feel like a lot of effort went in for it to only be satire. No obvious AI images, multiple views of the thing including close up of the "hand" and they're all consistent. Could be made as an art sculpture and this is the satirical product page, maybe.
Looks like all the current news coverage of it is reacting as if it's real/credible as well.
M137@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 16d
Did you not read the company name...?
treadful@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 16d
Now that's comedy.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 4 pts · 16d
"You can stop it with any handgun"
sorry, dark mode users
Wispy2891@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
It was supposed to be white? I see it black on my dark mode
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 2 pts · 16d
That's the problem, due to a transparent background it's black on dark, making it near-invisible
starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 16d
It's a teleoperated robot, not an autonomous machine. They're designing against bad actors who might use the robot as a murderbot
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 16d
It even has a fucking CHAINSAW attachment ffs! 🤦🏻
buddascrayon@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 16d
I mean, how else is it supposed to slice its way inside a burning house or forest to rescue people?
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 16d
Positive thinking!
mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 16d
VIbes of the 7 foot tall 7/11 stocking robot.
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 16d
Oh boy! I get two new nightmare demons today!
khepri@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 16d
Yay I can hardly wait for hordes of these things owned by governments and corporations to be armed and active around the globe!
Untamed_Star@piefed.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 16d
I mean at least this will replace forcing people to kill eachother. right? RIGHT?
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 16d
Threehalves? So... Manbearpig?
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 16d
Al Gore: "I told you guys! I said I was Super Cereal."
switcheroo@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 16d
Why does it need four legs??? Why centaur??? Can we not???
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 23 pts · 16d
Two-legged walk cycles are very complicated and unstable.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 6 pts · 16d
Wheels work great for indoor spaces, roads, tracks etc.
FaceDeer@fedia.io · 2 pts · 16d
Well, this isn't limited to indoor spaces, then.
M137@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 16d
Because it needs to be able to run after you no matter the terrain.
Hackworth@piefed.ca · 2 pts · 16d
Then they need to give those four legs wheels, clearly.
jaygray91@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 15d
first thing came to my mind are the tachikomas from ghost in the shell for some reason
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRJiY8UjpOU
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 1 pts · 16d
Yes, that's the best of both worlds. Terrain capability and speed. As-is, it won't climb near-vertical walls like a goat anyway.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 2 pts · 16d
It's meant for forestry work (good luck dodging an unexpectedly falling tree fast enough if the chainsaw hands get stuck or a branch pierces the pneumatics: bye bye expensive robot). Yes, it's so scary I just casually mentioned CHAINSAW HANDS.
dwemthy@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 16d
You didn't ask, but the horns are so it can't fit through the door (and kill you)
buddascrayon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 16d
Actually, according to the website the horns are cameras providing a wider view so it is more capable of doing its job. Very functionally necessary. 😁
magnetosphere@fedia.io · 3 pts · 16d
It doesn’t know how to duck?
M137@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 16d
Of course it doesn't know how to duck. It's a centaur, not a duck.
Untamed_Star@piefed.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 16d
No no, you don't undestand, it's just to slow it down.
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 2 pts · 16d
It clearly doesn't understand how to open a door, so it's all good (right now).
PlzGibHugs@piefed.ca · 10 pts · 16d
That's not a centaur, thats an abomination.
PrimeErective@startrek.website · 8 pts · 16d
Oh good, you can put chainsaws in the wrist holes
JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 16d
Danarchy@lemmy.nz · 8 pts · 16d
It shoots a slippery white gel from its undercarriage to cause crimilals to slip up and get confused and trapped and hnnnngh
AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 16d
The window to defeat the unholy alliance of fascists, technofeudalists and plutocrats in the USA is rapidly closing. After they can field such robots in mass, it's going to be over. Forever.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 16d
Like, once you get over the terror of the very real concern that this could be used against you to injure you, it's actually pretty cool.
I mean, imagine if you owned it, you could ride it to work, and it could use its arms to carry weapons to attack other bad centaur riders on your way into the office.
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 16d
Road rage incidents become jousting matches
5too@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 15d
Okay, so... Aside from the creepy terrifying robot thing, what's happening in this picture? Is that a door with a full plate glass window... in a wall between two hallways? Is the bot just standing in a large empty room staring through a door without opening it?
Zamboni_Driver@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 15d
It's to show that it can't fit through a standard door quickly.
https://www.satyress.com/#safety
It's hard to tell if the whole thing is a joke or not. How should much focus should be put on the name satyress
They say that they've made it look scary so that people will not underestimate how dangerous a robot with extreme strength could be to humans around it. Which actually sort of makes sense. It's designed to look like a warning basically to reduce the chance of it accidentally injuring someone while working.
https://thedebrief.org/its-obviously-quite-over-the-top-we-talked-to-the-company-behind-this-eerie-four-legged-centaur-robot-thats-going-viral/
orenj@leminal.space · 7 pts · 16d
alright, i actually kinda fuck with nightmare robots thats cool
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 16d
Finally we're getting to the real sexbots
rumba@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 15d
OK WORLD let's just get out in front of this, Dungeon Crawler Carl is a series of fantasy books, NOT a treatise on how to run society in the future...
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 15d
Something something Torment Nexus
endlessvoid@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 16d
starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 16d
My human ass would gather my tribe and fuck that thing up bro it looks scary but nothing stands up to the sharp stick meta
jaygray91@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 15d
Don't forget to supplement with fast thrown rock
IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 16d
Reminds me of back in the day when I worked in various data centers that had Man-traps for controlling access. I could see them being upgraded to release one of these on you if you failed to properly authenticate when inside one.
hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 15d
Someone should quickly hand Miss Peregrine her crossbow.
Oppopity@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 16d
Orisa
sudo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 16d
I am simply following my programming.
Zoomboingding@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
Do you need a hug?
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 16d
If they will come in sex robot flavor, where will they put the robocoochie?
h0rnman@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 16d
If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die
Pissmidget@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 16d
Like something out of The Alchemy Wars...
jaygray91@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 15d
Anger? You mean winning a lottery when we're all living in the underhive for a chance to elevate to the factorium level.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 15d
Sweep those spindly legs, and laugh as it tries to rise.
mirshafie@europe.pub · 5 pts · 15d
Fifth leg extends
extends
extends
korendian64@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 15d
I for one welcome our robotic centaur overlords.
mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 16d
AVincentInSpace@pawb.social · 1 pts · 8d
Whether I find this design scary or appealing depends entirely on who wrote the software the robot is running.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 16d
you also need a minotaur in the maze too.
sunbytes@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 12d
Now i didn't read the whole book, but I think this is what Cory Doctorow was trying to warn us about.