I often think about Mark Hamill when he's chastised by interviewers for giving his vintage first edition Star Wars figures to his children: "They're toys, they're meant to be played with!"
My girlfriend does this (or at least used to do this) all the time.
When she was young, she was gifted a bunch of hand-embroidered clothes of the very traditional 'old country' style. At the time, she literally thought she wasn't good enough to wear them (she's a bit of a tomboy) and saved them away for later. By the time she finally found them again, safely packed away decades later, her style had evolved and she didn't even like that old-fashioned stuff anymore, and she had to just get rid of it because she knew she'd never even want to wear it.
Some time ago when she was poor and MP3 players were fairly expensive, she'd been using a really old gnarly and busted one every day. For her birthday, her brother got her a fancy new one with a lot more storage and a screen, really the latest and greatest. But she was afraid of losing it or breaking it, so she never took it anywhere and never used it. She kept using the old one. The new one sat on a shelf, safe in its original factory box for years and years. Nowadays, it's completely obsolete and pointless because she can just play music from her phone. She never even loaded any music on it.
Sometimes (even often, maybe?) saving nice things for later just ends in the tragedy of those nice things never being enjoyed at all. She would have been better off if she wore and ultimately wore out and ruined those fancy clothes. She would have been better off if she'd used the fancy MP3 player for a while and it did get lost or broken. Sometimes, keeping precious things safe is the worst thing that can happen to those things. It's like not having them at all -- worse than not having them at all, because now you also need to dedicate storage space to them.
Sucks about getting old and dying. All the things you found interesting and brought you joy are often meaningless to your kids or the next generation. I don’t mean hoarding stupid “collectibles”, but things like maybe the photography you got good at, the nice piece of local art you picked up while traveling, etc.
I think that those things are only meaningless because the parents/grandparents didn’t or couldn’t engage with the next generation about it. Heirlooms, trinkets, and tchotchkes have to be imbued with stories and sentiment otherwise they’re just junk.
20th century hyper-consumerism sold the idea that you could buy sentimentality and proceeded to replace things that were valuable because of their unique stories with things that were valuable because of “the collectible market.” There’s a big difference between “this Coke sign was in your great-great-grandpa’s soda fountain” and “this Coke sign is valued at $100.” Likewise, a box of old family photos fails to have value when you can’t identify the people in the photos and the relative you inherited them from didn’t bother taking the time.
My ex’s parents almost donated a little crystal bowl thing. If they did, someone at the thrift shop would have found a nice little crystal bowl thing.
The reality? Her mom’s family was living in Europe because her grandfather’s job and while they were there they met some people who escaped the USSR. Long story short, since they were allowed, her family ended up crossing into the USSR with a bundle of photos and letters to give to the family of the people they had met. The family still behind the iron curtain was so grateful they gave them the crystal bowl. That bowl would have been very valuable to them, but the information about their family in France was worrh so much more.
I took the bowl instead. It’s little story, and that family’s gratitude, is not forgotten and now it holds some candy on my bookshelf.
We go to a lot of estate sales and its really wild sometimes just like, being in the homes of often dead people, just sort of, seeing their stuff and their life.
Plus as you said, all the stuff that was probably very enjoyed by those people just sort of, scavenged, but also how much is basically ignored and discarded. Sometimes it makes me a little sad.
I went to an estate sale of a professor. The garage was full of nice shelving full of perfectly organized binder boxes containing dissertations. I assume from every grad student he taught over his career. This took up most of his garage.
Took me a while but I got there. I have fabric that my great-grandmother grew as flax, spun, dyed and wove on her loom, over 100 years old now. I'm using these pieces as wall hangings and sofa covers and even on my market stall - it's a simple and pragmatic ancestor practice and in a sense I uncurse her life by carrying these pieces as I walk through my life way more undisturbed, unafraid and freely than she could.
While I completely agree with this sentiment. On the flipside, I've seen it in people who grew up poor that they really want to save things and preserve them for longer use even if it causes temporary inconvenience. I think it might be hard to get out of this mindset
They might be referencing some specific HEB coffee. My wife gets it from a friend sometimes when the friend brings it back, and she says it’s really good.
If it’s fresh from a specialty roaster, most of its volatile aromatics are gone about 6 weeks after their roast date, which is what makes expensive coffee so interesting. Coffee stales really really quickly but has an incredibly long shelf life, so while it’s perfectly safe to drink coffee that’s been around for a long time (James Hoffmann famously drank coffee that was roasted over 80 years ago) you’re not going to be able to enjoy it as much anymore. So absolutely don’t slowly ration it out, wait maybe 5-7 days after roast for some CO2 to escape but then make sure you drink it all within the 1-6 week window or you’ll lose what makes it expensive and fancy and it’ll just start to taste like normal cheap coffee. Unless you don’t care that much about coffee, in which case just drink it whenever, it’s not going to go bad on you.
My ex had brought me whiskey coffee from her trip to Scotland. I decided to save it for a special occasion, and then it expired and I had to throw it. Never again.
Why? What did you think happened to it? It's not clear what you are describing, flavored dry coffee beans, flavored ground beans in sealed bags, a drink in a can?
Coffee, especially if it's ground, will lose a lot of its character if it sits around. It won't Go Bad or make you sick, but it probably won't be good.
If you aren't a coffee snob, it'll probably be fine.
Even though it’s certainly good to treat yourself and get the most out of life, these kinds of catchphrases are dangerous. Unrestrained hedonism is selfish and short-sighted; it is what has brought humanity to the situation it finds itself in today—on the brink of the abyss.
If we continue as we have been, we will destroy the very foundations of our existence—and, with them, ourselves.
"After me, the deluge" is not an attitude worth aspiring to.
Well, it’s a fine line: The highlighted passage—"Being alive is as special an occasion as it gets"—could, in principle or at least on its own, also be interpreted to mean that one should always live in the moment and not worry at all about tomorrow or one’s fellow human beings.
This would be a very selfish attitude that considers only one’s own well-being and derives something like a right to be inconsiderate from personal happiness.
In this particular case, that might sound a bit exaggerated, but preserving old things can also benefit future generations by ensuring that records of their predecessors are preserved. How far this should go is, of course, also a matter of balance, especially since there is certainly a responsibility to use resources sparingly and not constantly acquire new things when a need could just as easily be met with what's already there.
So in short: The only point I’m trying to make is that, in my view, it’s important not to forget others—even those who haven’t even been born yet—in the pursuit of personal happiness.
Proper hedonism really doesn't need much. The best pleasures require little material wealth: love, friendship, singing and dancing together, playing games together, teaching, learning, giving, receiving, and seeing your friends and family at peace. For this you need stability, which does ask for a decent economy, but nothing of the sort that would make the planet uninhabitable in a century or two.
The pursuit of pleasure in the 21st century is so desperate because all of these simple pleasures have structurally been made near-impossible with the specific goal of making the working class restless, disorganized, and mutually antagonistic so they are easier to control and more dependent on consumption. Or to put it in modern terms, "to prevent loitering and stop unlicenced black market activity".
I'm not sure I'd trust much grown in Texas. Business profits seem to be the top priority for the government there rather than food safety or factory inspection. I mean they're letting Musk's SpaceX pollute at will. I'd be afraid the plants growing there might draw up any number of industrial toxins and consumers wouldn't know until people start getting sick from it.
That's great wisdom. We shouldn't keep stuff in a jar out of respect, or out of some fear that the memory it carries dissipates. Everything decays. Using that stuff is the best mark of respect and remembrance you can pay to whomever left you it. I'm writing this message to myself
I have nice matcha bowls, I alternate between them, I still have a favourite but if I don't use them all I might as well sell the ones that don't see the light of day.
I never drank the sake I was given for my 30th because I was saving it for a special day. We sure as shit drank all the champagne my missus got for graduating.
Having had a close relative die recently, I now have to get rid of a shitload of old stuff that might have had some value once but that's realistically unsellable nowadays. Throwing it all away is a tempting option.
68 Comments
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 84 pts · 1d
I often think about Mark Hamill when he's chastised by interviewers for giving his vintage first edition Star Wars figures to his children: "They're toys, they're meant to be played with!"
MirrorGiraffe@piefed.social · 41 pts · 1d
Honestly, being played with by Marks kids probably increased their value more than original packaging.
SourDragon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1d
I'm a dragon so I can say with 9001% confidence in my knowledge that, yes, those toys will most definitely be much more valuable because of that
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1d
I fucking love that guy
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 44 pts · 1d
Preach.
My girlfriend does this (or at least used to do this) all the time.
When she was young, she was gifted a bunch of hand-embroidered clothes of the very traditional 'old country' style. At the time, she literally thought she wasn't good enough to wear them (she's a bit of a tomboy) and saved them away for later. By the time she finally found them again, safely packed away decades later, her style had evolved and she didn't even like that old-fashioned stuff anymore, and she had to just get rid of it because she knew she'd never even want to wear it.
Some time ago when she was poor and MP3 players were fairly expensive, she'd been using a really old gnarly and busted one every day. For her birthday, her brother got her a fancy new one with a lot more storage and a screen, really the latest and greatest. But she was afraid of losing it or breaking it, so she never took it anywhere and never used it. She kept using the old one. The new one sat on a shelf, safe in its original factory box for years and years. Nowadays, it's completely obsolete and pointless because she can just play music from her phone. She never even loaded any music on it.
Sometimes (even often, maybe?) saving nice things for later just ends in the tragedy of those nice things never being enjoyed at all. She would have been better off if she wore and ultimately wore out and ruined those fancy clothes. She would have been better off if she'd used the fancy MP3 player for a while and it did get lost or broken. Sometimes, keeping precious things safe is the worst thing that can happen to those things. It's like not having them at all -- worse than not having them at all, because now you also need to dedicate storage space to them.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 1d
Sucks about getting old and dying. All the things you found interesting and brought you joy are often meaningless to your kids or the next generation. I don’t mean hoarding stupid “collectibles”, but things like maybe the photography you got good at, the nice piece of local art you picked up while traveling, etc.
derfunkatron@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 1d
I think that those things are only meaningless because the parents/grandparents didn’t or couldn’t engage with the next generation about it. Heirlooms, trinkets, and tchotchkes have to be imbued with stories and sentiment otherwise they’re just junk.
20th century hyper-consumerism sold the idea that you could buy sentimentality and proceeded to replace things that were valuable because of their unique stories with things that were valuable because of “the collectible market.” There’s a big difference between “this Coke sign was in your great-great-grandpa’s soda fountain” and “this Coke sign is valued at $100.” Likewise, a box of old family photos fails to have value when you can’t identify the people in the photos and the relative you inherited them from didn’t bother taking the time.
Soup@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 23h
My ex’s parents almost donated a little crystal bowl thing. If they did, someone at the thrift shop would have found a nice little crystal bowl thing.
The reality? Her mom’s family was living in Europe because her grandfather’s job and while they were there they met some people who escaped the USSR. Long story short, since they were allowed, her family ended up crossing into the USSR with a bundle of photos and letters to give to the family of the people they had met. The family still behind the iron curtain was so grateful they gave them the crystal bowl. That bowl would have been very valuable to them, but the information about their family in France was worrh so much more.
I took the bowl instead. It’s little story, and that family’s gratitude, is not forgotten and now it holds some candy on my bookshelf.
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 12h
You've been added to the Best of Lemmy: https://sh.itjust.works/post/65586529
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1d
Moving my mom into a home next month and dealing with the lifetime of Meaningful Things she has piled up everywhere.
Meanwhile I live in a studio apartment and whenever I clean, if I haven't looked at it or used it in a year I give it away/throw it out.
When I die only my writing will be left, and that will probably fade from cultural memory more quickly than I'd like.
There's probably a happy medium to be found somewhere. Maybe I'll start carving my name on trees or deface priceless artwork.
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 1d
No! Use Up the Photographs!!
AmyAye@nord.pub · 4 pts · 16h
We go to a lot of estate sales and its really wild sometimes just like, being in the homes of often dead people, just sort of, seeing their stuff and their life.
Plus as you said, all the stuff that was probably very enjoyed by those people just sort of, scavenged, but also how much is basically ignored and discarded. Sometimes it makes me a little sad.
Soapbox@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 12h
I went to an estate sale of a professor. The garage was full of nice shelving full of perfectly organized binder boxes containing dissertations. I assume from every grad student he taught over his career. This took up most of his garage.
AmyAye@nord.pub · 2 pts · 11h
Should have bought them, then went to school and turned the best ones in for quick and easy degrees.
schmorpel@slrpnk.net · 28 pts · 1d
Took me a while but I got there. I have fabric that my great-grandmother grew as flax, spun, dyed and wove on her loom, over 100 years old now. I'm using these pieces as wall hangings and sofa covers and even on my market stall - it's a simple and pragmatic ancestor practice and in a sense I uncurse her life by carrying these pieces as I walk through my life way more undisturbed, unafraid and freely than she could.
thejml@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 1d
Maybe Check the China before you use it, my wife inherited China from her parents. It's extremely high lead content means it gets displayed, not used.
smeg@feddit.uk · 28 pts · 1d
I'm assuming china rather than China, unless she's the new empress and this is the most incredible humble brag!
moakley@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 23h
Hardly a brag if it's full of lead. She'll just display the country, not use it.
merc@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 23h
Its
whimsy@lemmy.zip · 19 pts · 1d
While I completely agree with this sentiment. On the flipside, I've seen it in people who grew up poor that they really want to save things and preserve them for longer use even if it causes temporary inconvenience. I think it might be hard to get out of this mindset
gedfromgont@piefed.ca · 19 pts · 1d
Is coffee from Texas somehow special? Or just part of the joking...
tyler@programming.dev · 9 pts · 1d
They might be referencing some specific HEB coffee. My wife gets it from a friend sometimes when the friend brings it back, and she says it’s really good.
BurntWits@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 1d
If it’s fresh from a specialty roaster, most of its volatile aromatics are gone about 6 weeks after their roast date, which is what makes expensive coffee so interesting. Coffee stales really really quickly but has an incredibly long shelf life, so while it’s perfectly safe to drink coffee that’s been around for a long time (James Hoffmann famously drank coffee that was roasted over 80 years ago) you’re not going to be able to enjoy it as much anymore. So absolutely don’t slowly ration it out, wait maybe 5-7 days after roast for some CO2 to escape but then make sure you drink it all within the 1-6 week window or you’ll lose what makes it expensive and fancy and it’ll just start to taste like normal cheap coffee. Unless you don’t care that much about coffee, in which case just drink it whenever, it’s not going to go bad on you.
hayvan@piefed.world · 18 pts · 1d
My ex had brought me whiskey coffee from her trip to Scotland. I decided to save it for a special occasion, and then it expired and I had to throw it. Never again.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1d
Why? What did you think happened to it? It's not clear what you are describing, flavored dry coffee beans, flavored ground beans in sealed bags, a drink in a can?
hayvan@piefed.world · 3 pts · 1d
Ground beans.
protist@retrofed.com · 3 pts · 1d
Did it actually expire, or was it just past the date? Plenty things have expiration dates but are still just fine to use for months afterward
hayvan@piefed.world · 8 pts · 1d
I kept it past its date, at some point it grew mold.
protist@retrofed.com · 2 pts · 22h
Yeah that's properly expired 😂
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1d
Coffee, especially if it's ground, will lose a lot of its character if it sits around. It won't Go Bad or make you sick, but it probably won't be good.
If you aren't a coffee snob, it'll probably be fine.
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1d
Coffee from Texas is... special?
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
Trump is taxing Europe because we wouldn't buy coffee from Texas, so maybe it is.
It comes from the poop of cows or something, I think.
piccolo@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 16h
But... coffee doesnt come from europe either... perhaps its roasted there. All of the coffee beans is grown near the equator.
nanometer1625@thelemmy.club · 8 pts · 1d
Reminds me Uncle Iroh. "Sharing tea with a fascinating stranger is one of life's true delights."
lauha@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
I disagree. Good things become dull things if you have them constantly.
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 15 pts · 1d
But if you never use them, and just hoard them, they become nothing.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 4 pts · 1d
Worse than nothing, because now you need a place to store it and keep it safe.
lauha@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Obvioualy there is a middle ground
gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 1d
Never using also makes them nothing.
The real answer is moderation in all things, especially moderation itself
lauha@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
Obviously
MoffKalast@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Twice a month is a good balance imo.
Viceversa@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
Thrice a month?
MoffKalast@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 22h
Don't push it now.
fizzbang@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
What’s does living in the water and on land have to do with how you feel about your possessions?
tetris11@feddit.uk · 10 pts · 1d
You got it wrong, an antiquarian is someone who hates quars
fizzbang@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 22h
Oh of course, my mistake. That clears it up.
Tiresia@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 15h
I thought it was an interplanetary sentient race of machines from beyond the Terminus systems.
happysplinter@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 12h
That's the geth.
DandomRude@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Even though it’s certainly good to treat yourself and get the most out of life, these kinds of catchphrases are dangerous. Unrestrained hedonism is selfish and short-sighted; it is what has brought humanity to the situation it finds itself in today—on the brink of the abyss.
If we continue as we have been, we will destroy the very foundations of our existence—and, with them, ourselves.
"After me, the deluge" is not an attitude worth aspiring to.
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 11 pts · 1d
Also wise, but missing the point I think. (which is to not hoard stuff for sentimental reasons)
DandomRude@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
Well, it’s a fine line: The highlighted passage—"Being alive is as special an occasion as it gets"—could, in principle or at least on its own, also be interpreted to mean that one should always live in the moment and not worry at all about tomorrow or one’s fellow human beings.
This would be a very selfish attitude that considers only one’s own well-being and derives something like a right to be inconsiderate from personal happiness.
In this particular case, that might sound a bit exaggerated, but preserving old things can also benefit future generations by ensuring that records of their predecessors are preserved. How far this should go is, of course, also a matter of balance, especially since there is certainly a responsibility to use resources sparingly and not constantly acquire new things when a need could just as easily be met with what's already there.
So in short: The only point I’m trying to make is that, in my view, it’s important not to forget others—even those who haven’t even been born yet—in the pursuit of personal happiness.
rapchee@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d
is it though? it's not hedonism that's hoarding trillions and waging wars
mobyduck648@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
Yeah hedonism and avarice aren't the same vices, the latter is much more troubling in my opinion.
Tiresia@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 14h
Proper hedonism really doesn't need much. The best pleasures require little material wealth: love, friendship, singing and dancing together, playing games together, teaching, learning, giving, receiving, and seeing your friends and family at peace. For this you need stability, which does ask for a decent economy, but nothing of the sort that would make the planet uninhabitable in a century or two.
The pursuit of pleasure in the 21st century is so desperate because all of these simple pleasures have structurally been made near-impossible with the specific goal of making the working class restless, disorganized, and mutually antagonistic so they are easier to control and more dependent on consumption. Or to put it in modern terms, "to prevent loitering and stop unlicenced black market activity".
DandomRude@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 1d
So apparently, coffee from Texas is the shit, yes?
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1d
If you are on a space station orbiting Mars, maybe.
Or Kansas.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1d
It's like kopi luwak except it was eaten by a Republican.
Manjushri@piefed.social · 4 pts · 1d
I'm not sure I'd trust much grown in Texas. Business profits seem to be the top priority for the government there rather than food safety or factory inspection. I mean they're letting Musk's SpaceX pollute at will. I'd be afraid the plants growing there might draw up any number of industrial toxins and consumers wouldn't know until people start getting sick from it.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1d
I remarked at this as well. It sounds almost like buying a Pinot gris from Newark and sending it to San Francisco.
In a place where Jamaica and Colombia are still places, can Texas coffee even register?
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 1d
That's great wisdom. We shouldn't keep stuff in a jar out of respect, or out of some fear that the memory it carries dissipates. Everything decays. Using that stuff is the best mark of respect and remembrance you can pay to whomever left you it. I'm writing this message to myself
gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 1d
Fun fact: there's marginalia collectors, people who collect pieces of media which contain handwritten scribbles and notes on them
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 1d
Use it or lose it.
vorpuni@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 2 pts · 1d
I have nice matcha bowls, I alternate between them, I still have a favourite but if I don't use them all I might as well sell the ones that don't see the light of day.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 13h
I never drank the sake I was given for my 30th because I was saving it for a special day. We sure as shit drank all the champagne my missus got for graduating.
turdburglar@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d
i’ve taken to documenting where and when i got things written on the things.
that table saw? ch max 2021
these scissors? mel mcg 2025
that sewing machine? kitty 2020
somebody_to_love@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1d
Great advice!
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
Having had a close relative die recently, I now have to get rid of a shitload of old stuff that might have had some value once but that's realistically unsellable nowadays. Throwing it all away is a tempting option.
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 23h
We ended up with 1950s china from a dead relative. She treated it like it was priceless her entire life. Only used it for "special" events.
After we got it we looked it up. It was worth nothing.
It ended up on a shelf at the charity shop for a few bucks a set with all the other "priceless" china sets.