oh come on (edit: yes this is real)

782 points · 127 comments · view on lemmy.world

127 Comments

zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 257 pts · 237d (5 replies)

The Onion Journalists right now:

sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 236d (3 replies)

Okay, unrelated to any of the absurd Trump nonsense, what movie is this from? Is that Mark Rufallo? Whoever he is, that character is my Spirit Animal

DosDude@retrolemmy.com · 68 pts · 236d (2 replies)

This is Pablo Escobar played by Wagner Moura in the show "Narcos". The first season was great!

sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 236d

Thank you so much, I've always wanted to check Narcos out!

vegan_communist@lemmy.eco.br · 3 pts · 236d

Grande wagner

Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 236d

Ooo I wonder if this will lead to be if the few serious articles

apftwb@lemmy.world · 195 pts · 237d (15 replies)

It is real!!??? Actually real??!

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-patriot-games/

Tbh this is probably something Trump, 79, will forget he said in a week or so and no one will take any action.

halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world · 133 pts · 237d

Oh no, there's going to be all sorts of government contracts paid out for this. THEN nothing will be done.

currycourier@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 237d (1 reply)

"There was no indication the Patriot Games would pit competitors against each other in a fight to the death, as of this writing." Lmaoo

Funny thing is, if they decided policy this way I'd guess it'd be more representative than the House of Representatives for California.

pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 236d

It will be for the poor immigrants to stay in the country. We already know the rich ones need to just pay up.

io@piefed.blahaj.zone · 24 pts · 237d

yeah like that ball room

Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 19 pts · 236d (6 replies)

Wow, now even Snopes has the “give us your email for access” bullshit?! How disappointing.

Flames5123@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 236d

I even turned off my adblocker for a bit to read this and there are so many pop ups after closing each one. The enshittification continues.

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 235d

give us your email for access

No thanks

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · -27 pts · 236d (3 replies)

This is what happens when everyone uses adblock

snooggums@piefed.world · 29 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Adblocking is a defense against malicious advertisers and scammers which makes it a security tool.

Blaming adblock is like blaming people for going to the bathroom during commercials.

mika_mika@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 236d

Resume viewing. Resume viewing. Resume viewing.

punchmesan@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 236d

If the online ad industry was just about serving ads you could say that I guess. Early Internet ads were usually placed pretty intrusively on websites, and very soon went from annoyance to security risk as ads became a disturbingly common vehicle for malware delivery. Today malware via ads is far less common but an ad isn't just an ad -- now ads are powered by, and an agent of, a surveillance network.

If an ad could just be an ad it would actually be safe to roll without an ad blocker; I would infact do so as well unless a site was really egregious with their ad placement, I want to support websites doing good work. The Internet ad industry forced us into blocking their ads. My adblock never turns off, even for sites I'd very much like to support, because ads are just a pile of malicious code. Ad blockers would have stayed niche techy things if the ad industry wasn't scummy as hell.

So anyways, I feel I got a little rant-y. My point is that the ad industry themselves fed the demand for ad blockers. Ads themselves and website placement didn't get egregious because of ad blockers, ad blockers became common because ads and ad placement got egregious.

bumblefumble@mander.xyz · 13 pts · 237d (1 reply)

Well he didn't say it per se, as he had an AI version of him announce it officially. Wish I was joking.

io@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 236d

Trump is the first virtual president

Duamerthrax@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 236d

They're giving Trump and his family busy work to do while people like Stephen Miller and Pete Hegseth do more heinous things. It will be as pathetic as their military parade.

MyMindIsLikeAnOcean@piefed.world · 1 pts · 236d

It will happen…it will just be partisan, shitty and tacky when it does.

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 150 pts · 236d (1 reply)

NikkiDimes@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 236d

It just never stops being relevant does it

manxu@piefed.social · 140 pts · 237d (3 replies)

If I were an Onion article writer, I'd probably have a mental breakdown. Who can come up with anything more Oniony than this??? (Wait until tomorrow for the answer, I guess.)

johnyreeferseed@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 42 pts · 237d

I read the headline and thought for sure it was the onion at first

A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Onion needs to rebrand and just be factual, real reporting now.

Nothing they can create is more absurd than this bizarre world we've found ourselves in.

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 235d

We actually need them to be journalists. The mainstream media are fooking kneelers

EfreetSK@lemmy.world · 79 pts · 237d (4 replies)

Is it a satire? At this point I seriously can't tell

io@piefed.blahaj.zone · 70 pts · 237d

i had to look it up too, he actually announced that

Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 237d (1 reply)

Nope

Klear@quokk.au · 35 pts · 237d

Yeah, of course it's a ...

WHAT?! THIS IS REAL?!

snooggums@piefed.world · 1 pts · 236d

At this point if anything says Trump is doing something so ridiculously stupid that nobody would really do that then it is true because it has been 100% of the time.

Sometimes I notice such a thing posted by the Onion and figure they found a way to predict the future.

Carvex@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 237d (4 replies)

Lord Fuckwad has decreed “Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make”

perishthethought@piefed.social · 40 pts · 237d (3 replies)

Ohwow

Farquaad (from shrek) == fuckwad

How have I missed that til now?

alberttcone@sh.itjust.works · 30 pts · 236d (1 reply)

As I understand it, the head of Dreamworks at the time used to work at Disney, but had a falling out with the animation chief there and based the entire Farquaad character, and name, on him. Professional level pettiness.

eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 236d

Eisner I believe.

MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 236d

Congrats on being one of today's lucky 10,000!

lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com · 52 pts · 236d (1 reply)

With 50% men and 50% women? Isn't that woke nowadays?

Oh, I see... Young women... Now, it makes sense.

A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 236d

Eh, Highschool age is probably too old for Trumps interest.

Judging by the photos and how handsy he was with Ivanka, he probably likes them much younger.

A_norny_mousse@feddit.org · 49 pts · 237d (3 replies)

It's the Torment Nexus over and over and over again. In fact, the re-inventing of the Torment Nexus has itself become a Torment Nexus.

Alaik@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 237d (1 reply)

The torment nexus from the book, "Please dont ever build the Torment Nexus"? That Torment Nexus?

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 236d

Yes, and the sequel, "Not Building the Torment Nexus is Woke."

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 236d

The Tournament Nexus?

Microtonal_Banana@lemmy.zip · 43 pts · 236d (1 reply)

These people shouldn't be allowed within 100 feet of any teenagers.

ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 236d

Or any of the rest of us.

RagnarokOnline@programming.dev · 41 pts · 237d

That’s some reality tv-ass thing to do.

Grass@sh.itjust.works · 37 pts · 236d (2 replies)

are they going to be forced to kill each other or something? survivors get to be his sex slaves?

Flipper@feddit.org · 22 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Nah, they would already to old probably. Remember he likes them on the young side.

Pacattack57@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 236d

See the mistake you made was assuming the ages wouldn’t be toddlers.

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works · 32 pts · 237d (3 replies)

So he specifically included Puerto Rico and Washington DC?

Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 237d

Surprising, since inclusivity is woke.

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 236d

Well the Guamanians or Samoans are gonna kick everyone's asses.

Rooster326@programming.dev · 2 pts · 236d
[ removed ]
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 236d (1 reply)

The Mara lago look definitely looks like the capital people in the hunger games

ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 236d

Worse than in many cases.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 237d (3 replies)
Dozzi92@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 236d (2 replies)

Enjoyed the book, looking forward to seeing what they do with this movie.

lepinkainen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Never read the book, movie was surprisingly good

Adderbox76@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 236d

Book was one of the best of the Bachman books. I really enjoyed it.

beemikeoak@lemmynsfw.com · 20 pts · 236d (6 replies)

I'm releasing this offensive photo:

I've made it SFW

Sabata11792@ani.social · 23 pts · 236d (3 replies)

Redacted

I approved it for public release

A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 236d

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 236d (1 reply)

What SCP is this?

Sabata11792@ani.social · 2 pts · 235d

It's actually just Nyarlathotep half-assing it.

DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 2 pts · 236d (1 reply)

No you didn't, you left the neckussy visible.

beemikeoak@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 236d

I'm sorry, that was on purpose. Nobody is gonna know! Who's gonna know?

minorkeys@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 236d (5 replies)

Can he just die already?

Nalivai@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 236d (4 replies)

President Vance might somehow be worse.

sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz · 15 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Vance may be worse, but I don't think he would have whatever voodoo control it is that trump has on the deplorables.

Nalivai@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 236d

Yeah, the man has negative charisma. But like any other cult that survived long enough, that's actually how it usually goes. Original guy is batshit crazy and has control over minds of his cultists, and when he dies the new guy is ruthless, efficient, and keeps in relative obscurity, and if he's successful, the cult lives on. The second guy usually makes a cult into evil machine of hate, abuse, grift, and expansion.
It happened with mormonism, it happened with scientology. If it will happen with maga it will be the catastrophic end of the US.

minorkeys@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 236d (1 reply)

More than willing to find out.

Nalivai@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 236d

Might as well, yeah.

BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 236d

Sure isn't those Epstein Files we deserve.

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 236d (2 replies)

This is not at all the worst idea he's ever had

It actually sounds kinda nice.

Where's he getting the money for it though?

That. Is the question.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 236d (1 reply)

if it wasn't fascist bread and circus then by itself it isn't a bad idea.

in the context, it's a shitty idea, especially when the economy is collapsing, pedo files are illegally held, and ICE is at war with American cities.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 236d

fascist bread and circus

My new band name

Samsy@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 236d (1 reply)

As a European, this is a "The Onion"-Joke, right?

ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 236d

I mean, it is, but somehow it's also actually happening.

0tan0d@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 237d (2 replies)

How is he going to pay for it?

falseWhite@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 237d
[ removed ]
Rothe@piefed.social · 40 pts · 237d

He is not. A Trump never pays his bills.

echodot@feddit.uk · 11 pts · 237d (2 replies)

Why? Just why.

HarkMahlberg@kbin.earth · 21 pts · 237d

Ever since the island got raided, he's needed a new venue to find little girls.

sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 236d

What do you think football is for? A vehicle for bribes and keeping people from grabbing torches and pitchforks

Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 237d (2 replies)

Isn't there a really bad Clancy book by that name? Yeah, I just read the plot summary and it sounds as deranged as something trump would write.

phoenixz@lemmy.ca · -2 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Stephen King wrote it, like in the 70s or something, apparently

jve@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 236d

Nope.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriot_Games_(film)

You’re probably confusing it with Running Man, or with The Long Walk, mentioned in the comments here elsewhere.

AeonFelis@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Something something cautionary tale

T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 236d

Good thing those scientists were able to build the torment nexus!

Gust@piefed.social · 8 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Surely they'll forget about bread if the circus is entertaining enough, right?

BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 236d

They'd starve to death if it means owning a lib.

rayyy@piefed.social · 7 pts · 237d

He knows the mouth-breathers will go wild about this.

Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 236d

GUAM NUMBER ONE!!!! 💪💪💪

its_prolly_fine@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 237d

Looks like the books and movies are about to become historically accurate.

kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 236d

This, the oil tanker and the new trans care nonsense seems pretty obviously timed to distract from the Epstein files BS

Pulsar@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 236d

Squid game part #2

humanspiral@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 236d

tbh, I was expecting the purge to come first. No guns for the wrong ethnic groups, though.

Stilling@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 235d

The Hungry Leopard Games.

Friendlybirdseggs@sopuli.xyz · -2 pts · 236d
[ removed ]
Ferrous@lemmy.ml · -10 pts · 236d (12 replies)

Feel free to correct me....

Everyone I know has been roasting the patriot games, but... it sounds sort of fun??? Given how bad Americans are at exercise, socialization, and community, some sporting events might be fun and good?

Like, I could see this being an absolute dream for high-achieving student athletes.

However, this is all tempered by the fact that the announcement itself was steeped in transphobia. If that weren't the case, Id be less skeptical.

4grams@awful.systems · 15 pts · 236d (6 replies)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is how fascism arrived.

Sure, it’s all in good fun, and the ballroom is just an upgrade for the people, and the illegals dying in detention, aren’t dying because they were detained, just coincidentally dying in captivity. Let’s always look for the silver lining in the sturmwolke.

Ferrous@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 236d (5 replies)

the ballroom is just an upgrade for the people, and the illegals dying in detention, aren’t dying because they were detained

Wat.... when did I say any of that....

4grams@awful.systems · 11 pts · 236d (4 replies)

You didn’t, but this is the sort of sentiment that aligns:

Everyone I know has been roasting the patriot games, but... it sounds sort of fun???

It might, if it was anything other than a spectacle in service of dear leader. They do not deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Ferrous@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 236d (3 replies)

So... why didnt you just say "I fear this is just a front to instill reactionary patriotism for the greater purpose of ushering in American fascism - akin to the Hitler youth"

And instead smugly claimed I was ushering in fascism??

It's a fair point, and I'd have conceded it to you...

4grams@awful.systems · 5 pts · 236d (2 replies)

Because whitewashing fascism is supporting it and I'm tired of giving people who are part of the problem grace.

Ferrous@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Because whitewashing fascism is supporting it and I’m tired

[https://lemmy.ml/post/39531321/22458346](Dis u?)

we don’t have capitalism. But fuck any ism, just find the broken shit and fix it.

On a crusade against whitewashing and fascism, yet cannot confront capitalism..

4grams@awful.systems · -1 pts · 236d

lol, dumbass.

barooboodoo@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 236d

Just go do the myriad already existing fun sports and physical activities instead of dancing like a trained monkey for this shitty administration.

BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 236d

The problem is that under any other administration, it would be a potentially good idea. Under this one, it's a grand event for dear leader to show himself off and his country like North Korea does. It's more ego padding, that if it happens will be so ineptly run it'll be a disgrace to those who participate. You'd have to be die hard MAGA to want to perform for glorious leader who thinks physical exertion just kills you faster.

OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 236d (1 reply)

You think it's actually going to be executed perfectly like that under this administration? Also, something something hunger games

Ferrous@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 236d

You think it's actually going to be executed perfectly like that under this administration?

Maybe not, but I never said it had to be executed perfectly. In fact it's probably fair to say the first one might be a little clunky.

Until it's revealed that the participants will be killing each other, the Hunger Games comparison is a funny gag, but I dont see how it seriously applies.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 236d

It’ll fuck over the serious athletes, as they already have a full card training for an Olympic cycle. It’ll be a poorly-run festival of mediocrity.

testfactor@lemmy.world · -20 pts · 237d (16 replies)

I think this sounds fun? Would make for a fun "state pride" thing and would be fun to watch. Kind of like a mini Olympics.

Calling it "the hunger games without the killing," is a lot like saying "the Boston Marathon bombing but without the bomb." Just a fairly normal athletic event.

I don't understand why people are up in arms over this. Is it maybe a silly thing for the president to be pushing for? Sure. But I'd rather him work on this than almost anything else he's prone to work on.

brucethemoose@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 237d (2 replies)

Yes. Theoretically.

Problem is:

It's classic Trump TBH. A good idea in an innocent way, if one totally ignores history and gives it the absolute benefit of the doubt. And his followers can use it to troll people who point out potential danger as 'hysterical'.

testfactor@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 236d (1 reply)

I mean, "the Nazis glorified youth sports" feels like an empty argument to me. Hitler liked dogs. That doesn't make me morally obligated to hate dogs.

And yeah, Trump has abhorrent policies in other areas that could taint this. That doesn't mean this idea in particular is bad.

brucethemoose@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 236d

To be clear, it's "Nazis used national youth sports events to glorify eugenics."

You're right. This is probably fine and innocent.

But it feels creepy the same reason gameshow fiction feels creepy; historical context, and skirting but not quite crossing some lines. Like, this would be a lot less creepy if Trump and his party didn't flirt with White Replacement Theory believers, or "fertility boosting" advocates like Vance. They'd absolutely advocate for this exact type of event, for all the wrong reasons.


So yeah, if this is a wholesome high school olympics between states, I'm all for that. You shouldn't be getting downvoted so much.

...But stay skeptical, too. There's a nonzero chance the messaging won't be so pure.

bumblefumble@mander.xyz · 18 pts · 237d (7 replies)

It's just a little on the nose with the one boy and one girl from each state. And let's see how the diversity in these boys and girls will be, it's probably gonna be some white ethnofascist bullshit parading around the perfect children. But let's see.

testfactor@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 237d (6 replies)

I mean, I assume that the states would be able to nominate their competitors themselves.

ooterness@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 236d (1 reply)

"I volunteer as tribute!" -Totally normal things for athletes to say

testfactor@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 236d

I'm glad that's not a thing anyone has said in real life then.

Look, no one involved in coming up with this idea tied it to the hunger games, and no one thinks that you'll actually have a "I volunteer as tribute" type thing going. And, not to put to fine a point on it, but "volunteering as tribute" loses a lot of it's negative connotation when it's not literally volunteering to go die in a gladiator pit.

Trump has done innumerable things to be upset about. We don't need to make up fake rage bait. Just look at the actual bad things he's doing.

Rooster326@programming.dev · 11 pts · 236d (2 replies)

Anyone can volunteer for tribute

But only a select few will make it all the way to DC instead of say South Sudan, or El Salvador, or a quaint little island they know about...

TachyonTele@piefed.social · 4 pts · 236d

It's like your reading an ad for it lol

testfactor@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 236d

Yes, I agree the Trump administration has been disgusting with regards to immigration. Absolutely a stain on American history.

It seems a stretch to tie this to that though.

mech@feddit.org · 10 pts · 237d

And I assume Trump would want to pick the girls himself, after "inspecting" them.

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 12 pts · 237d (4 replies)

It's stupid on so many levels.

No way a tiny state like North Dakota can produce two world class athletes, while powerhouses like California and Texas with have a plethora to choose from.

But say it was actually fair and balanced. How do you set it up? I can't think of a place in the country that's ready to have a mini-Olympics on short notice. Do you know of any arena with a fifty lane track?

And what sports are we competing in?

It would take a smart person a couple of years to make this happen. Donnie thinks he can snap his fingers.

JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 237d

Idk if you've read The Hunger Games but yeah that's kind of the whole idea

testfactor@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 237d (2 replies)

I mean, you could say the same about the Olympics. There's no way a small country like Jamaica could possibly beat a huge country like the US.

But sometimes they do. That's what makes it so exciting.

And what are you on about a 50 lane track? Does the Olympics have a 200 lane track for all the countries? You do it in heats. Have you ever watched a track and field event? And practically every state has a facility that would support a track and field event with around 120 people. That's not absurdly large.

I assume it'd general track and field, though it's a little odd if you just have 2 competitors per state to do all the events. Though I think that actually makes it a little more interesting. Kind of triathalon-y.

I don't think this is as hard to organize as you seem to think it is. Yes, it requires coordination and stuff, and is more than just a snap of the fingers, but if you assigned a qualified and well funded planning group to it, I'm confident you could get it put together by summer.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 236d (1 reply)

Jamaica spends more on its Olympic team than the US does. They enter around 60-70 athletes, while the US is spread thinner with around 600.

So ultimately Jamaica spends over 10x per athlete. And that’s state funding, which the US doesn’t do. Team USA half-asses the Olympics, falling back on sheer population size to garner the required athletes at the right time, rather than having a proper training programme.

testfactor@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 236d

Compare it to China then, which does state sponsor.

Or, hell, South Dakota can state sponsor their Patriot Games athletes if they want, to try to give them an edge. Make it a point of state pride or whatever to pull better competitors than a state that's bigger but doesn't care.

Alabama does better at college football nationally (historically) than much bigger states because of a culture difference. The idea that California would outperform them just because they're bigger does not in fact bear out in reality.