Guys, have you ever been asked this question: "If your mother and your girlfriend are both drowning, who would you save first?" How would you answer this question?

My mom can swim and my girlfriend doesn't exist

First, the most honest answer is that it's a shitty question. This 'Sophie's Choice' promise is inherently designed to disrespect someone. In real life, you just react and try to save both, most likely based on who is a better swimmer, is closer, etc.

But the question between who you prioritize is valid. The answer is subjective, of course, but my advice would be that you prioritize your mother over a casual girlfriend/bf, but you prioritize a finance or spouse over your mother. And this isn't hard to explain to Mom. I did. I said, "Hey Mom: remember how Dad always put Grandma in front of you because he was such a wimp, and it made you feel absolutely terrible? Well good news: you raised a better man than she did."

She didn't love it, but she got it. And she respected it.

If my mom asked it, my response would be my girlfriend. If my girlfriend asked it, id say save my mom. If they both asked it, I'd get a beer at the bar and let them both drown. Cause fuck you if you're going to play those kinds of games with me.

"The one who sucks the dick makes the rules"

I hate my biological mother and I never have a girlfriend.

To answer your question if my mother asked me this my response would be, "Stop calling me you filthy junkie."

“Mom, I never would have expected you to ask such a mean question.”

I'd answer by saying I'll first save whichever one doesn't ask me questions like this.

Pshhh, easy. Same person.

My mom would probably be very angry if I choose to save her over my wife.

My wife can swim ten times better then me tho, so she probably ends up saving both my mom and me

Those philosophical dilemma questions (basically always some variation of the trolley problem) have almost no practical relevance. Situations like that practically never happen in real life and if they do, you won't have time for moral or philosophical reflections.

I don't have a partner and I'm a PADI certified rescue diver.

If I see my mother drowning I'm going to hang around until I'm sure she's fully dead.

I don’t answer those questions.

Mom. I can always get a new girlfriend.

My mom is dead though, so the girlfriend.

I don't have a girlfriend though, so I guess I'll just drown myself.

I inherently care more about someone I chose to make part of my family than I do either of my parents.

Ask mum if she'd prefer to drown or survive but you drown while saving her.

Bye Mom.

My mom wouldn't ask because she knows I wouldn't choose her.

However if she did ask my response would just be laughter because is such a dumb question.

I would absolutely save my wife first. Now, do I actually have to save the second person?

I’d save the one who didn’t ask me no-win riddles.

Easy! My mom, no question!

Being single make this a simple decision.

I've heard this one before and I've heard that the "correct" answer is to save your mother because "you can always get another wife but you can never get another mother."

I've also heard that the answer to this (originally Chinese) question is indicative of cultural values (filial piety like you say) but I wonder how differently people would answer in a wide survey... If my mom asked me, I would choose my mom because I don't have a wife.

I would choose my wife since my mother could use some rehydration. One could say she is a little ashy.

I would probably be paralyzed due to the situation and choice I have to make and they would both drown until I actually start moving.

It is easy for me to answer, my mom is old. My wife can probably tread water while I get my mom to shore.

I told my wife this and she replied that she is a strong, independent woman who can swim perfectly well on her own. The right answer is that I should grab my mom and start bringing her towards the shore while my wife swims ahead and helps me pull her in once we get to shallower water.

I'm not a very good swimmer... which one looks more buoyant?

Let them both drown, that's the only way they'll learn

The only correct answer to these gotcha questions is "id die doing/saving both"

I've never been asked that... but my mother's lived a full life.

Is jumping in so I can drown too an acceptable answer?

I know my mom can swim, but my wife cannot. So, I'd save my wife.

No. My wife doesn't ask bullshit questions just to start arguments out of insecurity. And my mother is dead. No, she did not drown.

If my mom asked I would say her, but this is a f-ed up question to ask someone.

I'd save my wife, and my mom would absolutely want me to.

"Double the life insurance baby!"

The correct answer is that my mom can swim like a shark and my girlfriend can’t swim to save anyone’s life.

The real question here is whether anyone was in a situation where he needed to choose between saving a gf or mother.

Have you heard of bridge statements? I got to know about them when dealing with negative self talk. I was told not to jump right into the "I'm handsome" part just when I have a thought of being ugly, but to make it less radical, like "maybe I'm not the ugliest man in the city".

I think the question functions in a similar way. When you are prompted with this question by your mother, you basically are expected to answer "mother". Fast forward to when you move your well planned proposal to your gf in order to help your mother with her garden.

It's a trap!

Depends on relationship with both

Ask her if she would save her mom or your dad. In front of him.

I do not have a girl friend, so I guess the stranger that is drowning that you thought was my girl friend.

If either my girlfriend/wife or my mother asked me that question, I would refuse to answer and instead ask them why they were asking it. I’d explain that that’s a very nasty question to ask because it’s a loyalty test, even if they don’t mean it as one, and it puts me in a very awkward position—why would they want to do that? I’d ask them to consider how they’d feel if either their mother or spouse asked them that.

And if they didn’t immediately see my point, that would slightly lower my opinion of them, to be honest.

Some mothers and girlfriends can swim.

So yes it’s a weird question. It doesn't describe the situation very well as to how a person is drowning like is it fatigue? Have they somehow been knocked out? Is the situation so dire that it does not actually really matter who is rescued first and you could actually rescue both?

It’s like if the world opened up a pit to hell and you can only save one relative who will it be

It’s so unlikely that you’d be in that position so much as you’d be likely also falling into the pit of hell so it’s just creating meaningless drama and if someone keeps posing such questions to you I’d keep an eye on why they are dramatizing so much. Like why do they need to keep reestablishing their meaning to everyone’s life in comparison to other people who also hold meaning? Why does someone else need to be reduced for someone to feel meaningful? That’s some narcissistic traits being cracked open there.

I've never been asked this question before, but the answer is my mother.

For me, family always comes first.

RIP ladies, I'm no lifeguard and I'm a terrible swimmer.

The baby factory, so mom

Both my wife and I suck at swimming, so I guess we're both drowning. My mom might be able to save herself but likely not anyone else.

Because my mother is dead and buried, I try to convince my girlfriend to save me, because I don’t know how to swim.

My girlfriend. My mother is already dead.

Modern day Koan

Our partner, our mother abused us and we love our partner so that’s an easy answer

Depends on the situation.

Wife, we're going Gaunt's Ghosts on this one.

I'm gay and disabled (so I can't swim), so...

Never got that question, but it's really a non issue for me. I'm a very strong swimmer. One of my first memories is my mom teaching me with her friend. I remember because she was walking(in the pool) away from me and I felt angry about that. But Mom is a strong swimmer who has put on some weight in her later years and can easily float if she is calm. I also don't think I ever dated someone I didn't go swimming with at some point very early in the relationship. Having the ocean 10 minutes away growing up, I spent a ton of time at the beach. More than most! I know cause I was hanging with friends, and they gave me an edible before going to the beach. It was way too strong for me so I told them I gotta lay down but for them to look out for the bioluminescent plankton. They didn't believe me it was real. Then they got to experience that magic, and were so blown away they came back to wake me up and tell me about it and try and get me to come back with them. I declined, cause again, uncomfortable high and also I had seen the shit a couple dozen times by then.

Sorry about the long response, I was waxing nostalgic.

Edit: oh shit! This comment went from negative 6, to zero! I love you Lemmy community!