I mean people usually suck at naming roads. Water St is often where the water tower is, Railroad St runs parallel to the railroad, Fish Hatchery Road is where the fish hatchery is, and then there's the tons of roads named after specific families who lived on the land they run through. Granted it's way less dark than the countless cities that are named after the people/natural features that were killed when founding the cities. So many places are named after who and what was once there...
Water St is often where the water tower is, Railroad St runs parallel to the railroad, Fish Hatchery Road is where the fish hatchery is, and then there’s the tons of roads named after specific families who lived on the land they run through
it would probably be more along the lines of you having to pay potentially lost profits directly to the company, while the driver has to pay his own bills... and the driver has to pay for potentially lost profits too
No seriously, the term "late stage capitalism" is so old, it has existed longer than capitalism exited before its coinage. So if this really is the last stage, this last stage is already longer than the stages before were.
They'd never what, attempt to profit off of an emotional reaction by presenting an option that most wouldn't even have thought of on their own but kinda makes you feel guilty to decline?
Double oopsie! Your driver delivering flowers to your other driver was in an accident! Would you like to deliver flowers to the driver who was delivering flowers?
"Your dasher crashed, but based on his tracking, he's still crawling towards you. This could induce some delay. If you go meet him on the way, you can get a rebate on your tipping fees!"
It's a trap. Like in the famous documentary, 'The Santa Clause', if you examine the crash site the drivers body will disappear and YOU will become the Door Dasher, and be required to fulfill all of their commitments.
Your flower delivery driver crashed 0.3 away from your food delivery driver. He can still crawl through the fog of pain to the flowers but they might be fucked up beyond all recognition.
Send chocolates to your flower delivery driver's hopsital room!
If you can't be bothered to step out of your comfort zone and travel .3 AU to pick up your food, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you want the crippled driver to spoon feed it to you.
They retconned it to mean that the Kessel Run was close to a black hole so you couldn't go near unless very fast and agile, so most ships had to take a longer route, so parsecs became distance again
"Your dasher wears a medical bracelet identifying his next of kin. To expedite access to the crime scene to retrieve your order (1x bagel bites, 4x lubricant and 1x grain alcohol) dash++ members can unlock this name to then pose as a direct relation when authorities ask."
Honestly, online service platforms have come up with so many odd and manipulated behavioural patterns they shove down their customers' throat as long as it makes them money...
If an A/B test actually showed that offering to pick up your food from a traffic accident site led to better customer satisfaction outcomes than just cancelling the order I seem them doing this 100%
Even on non-takeout, I still won't tip sometimes. It's mental how some counter service places are asking for tips. I begrudgingly tip if the person actually does something service related (like bringing me my food), but if I have to do the work to get my order, I don't tip.
Don't misunderstand me, I still tip at places where tipping makes sense, like a restaurant or something.
But I'm not going to subsidize every business' payroll just because they found out they can enable a tip prompt on their POS. Like, I don't need to tip every store that has workers making food, especially if they all stay behind the counter.
Maybe that makes me an asshole, but I'm not tipping every business just because they ask for one.
The application let's you send flowers to your "dasher's" hospital room
Taking about dystopian.
We don't care about that motherfucker that damn near killed himself and inconvenienced us, but hey, that's why we do the gig thing so we don't have to insure them! But hey, YOU totally should send him flowers!
There is an artist around who spoofs the big app interfaces to make these even worse thought experiments. I'm guessing it's one of his or hers. Unfortunately I don't remember the name / handle.
I'm not going outside in this weather. Especially if I have to put pants on. They should just send a second driver to pull my Arby's out of the burning wreckage and finish the delivery without me having to tell them.
The last time I used doordash Uber eats whatever was 2019 and one day it was raining hard so I went outside to meet the delivery person at their car and they thanked me 😄
100 Comments
LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de · 138 pts · 204d
Away what? Apples? Eggs?
_stranger_@lemmy.world · 76 pts · 204d
.3 of a delivery, duh.
As in, they were .7 of the way done when they crashed.
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 203d
REDACTED@infosec.pub · 37 pts · 204d
Most well universally known measurement system is likely light years, so probably that
mech@feddit.org · 22 pts · 203d
The SI base unit for length is the meter, so they crashed 30cm (12 inches) away from you.
Dojan@pawb.social · 4 pts · 203d
Wow, and whoever posted the screenshot did nothing to help. SMHing my head.
Babalugats@feddit.uk · 19 pts · 204d
Seeing as everything else in the notification seems to be about money, I'm guessing 0.3 dollars.
Surprised they didn't suggest getting another delivery driver for half price to bring it the rest of the way.
ultrahamster64@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 203d
You can send flowers to the hospital room tho
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 203d
Miles.
human@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 203d
Yep. Looks like College Station, Texas.
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 203d
Jfc yeah name a road after your state.
Although there's an Uruguay Avenue in Montevideo so 🤷
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 203d
I like the Moscow/Saint Petersburg system, wherein they both have avenues/highways named after the other city, leading to said city.
nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 203d
Most of New England is named that way too. The problem is that the same road ends up with 2 names depending on which direction or end you are in.
Got luck getting an ambulance dispatched to the right place (in my unfortunate experience).
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 201d
I mean people usually suck at naming roads. Water St is often where the water tower is, Railroad St runs parallel to the railroad, Fish Hatchery Road is where the fish hatchery is, and then there's the tons of roads named after specific families who lived on the land they run through. Granted it's way less dark than the countless cities that are named after the people/natural features that were killed when founding the cities. So many places are named after who and what was once there...
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 201d
this all seems sensible to me
diemartin@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 203d
I accidentally 0.3 away. Is this dangerous?
UltraBlack@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 203d
0.3 away from yous
adj16@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 203d
0.3 “inspect element”s away from you
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 201d
Liters
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 115 pts · 203d
Is this a late stage capitalism?
👨 🫴🦋
Rooster326@programming.dev · 26 pts · 203d
No lats stage would have you, the person whom ordered the food, responsible for the gig workers hospital stay - as you are their employer.
BanMe@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 203d
Click here to begin crowdfunding your dasher's ER visit.
SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 203d
it would probably be more along the lines of you having to pay potentially lost profits directly to the company, while the driver has to pay his own bills... and the driver has to pay for potentially lost profits too
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 203d
Always has been
No seriously, the term "late stage capitalism" is so old, it has existed longer than capitalism exited before its coinage. So if this really is the last stage, this last stage is already longer than the stages before were.
QuincyPeck@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 203d
Late stage, so far.
ayyy@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 203d
I need to make sure you know this is a joke photo composed with digital tooling. You do know that, right?
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 203d
Only the "send flowers' is the joke part.
Magnum@infosec.pub · 4 pts · 203d
No, looks like a man releasing a butterfly to me.
Gladaed@feddit.org · 65 pts · 203d
This is fake?
mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 136 pts · 203d
The real nightmare is you can't even tell anymore.
Avicenna@programming.dev · 27 pts · 203d
my exact feelings, I am more horrified at the fact that I am still not sure if this is fake or not (without actual fact checking ofcourse)
randomblock1@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 203d
It had me until the flower button. Doordash would never
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 203d
They'd never what, attempt to profit off of an emotional reaction by presenting an option that most wouldn't even have thought of on their own but kinda makes you feel guilty to decline?
criss_cross@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 203d
It may be the one dude that does nothing but come up with dystopian UIs
r00ty@kbin.life · 15 pts · 203d
Dystopian? Or just the beta version?
night_petal@piefed.social · 14 pts · 203d
This particular image may be, but this is a real thing that happens of the dasher is in a wreck while completing your order.
Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 203d
Why u lie homie
night_petal@piefed.social · 1 pts · 203d
It isn't a lie. Jon Stewart did an entire episode about this. xD
matlag@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 203d
It was. But now, if the idea makes it to the right executive...
Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 203d
Yup
TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today · 59 pts · 203d
Double oopsie! Your driver delivering flowers to your other driver was in an accident! Would you like to deliver flowers to the driver who was delivering flowers?
bampop@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 203d
Would you like to leave any feedback to your driver? If you purchase a funeral wreath we can print your comments on a card and attach it
matlag@sh.itjust.works · 45 pts · 203d
"Your dasher crashed, but based on his tracking, he's still crawling towards you. This could induce some delay. If you go meet him on the way, you can get a rebate on your tipping fees!"
sundray@lemmus.org · 41 pts · 203d
"Would you like to call an UberAmbulance?"
brap@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 203d
Ahem, an Ubulance.
eah@programming.dev · 11 pts · 203d
Oopsie woopsie. It wooks wike your uwu dwiwu was in a wiwwy bad caw cwash. Would you wike to caw an ambuwance?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 203d
hell yes
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 203d
Too expensive, I think I'll go with a Waymo Autonombulance. The Dasher can do self-CPR
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 203d
It's a trap. Like in the famous documentary, 'The Santa Clause', if you examine the crash site the drivers body will disappear and YOU will become the Door Dasher, and be required to fulfill all of their commitments.
MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works · 30 pts · 203d
Sir you can't be on this side of the police tape. Are you are related to the deceased?
No, but I'm just going to snag my Mickey Donalds right quick and I'll be out of your way.
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 203d
"sEnD fLoWeRs tO yOuR dAsHeR's hOsPiTaL rOoM" 💀
doenerpate@feddit.org · 7 pts · 203d
this isn’t real right? lol
Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 203d
Nope
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 203d
Yes its real, its a leaked screenshot from 2027 #ComingSoon
robocall@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 203d
"your Dasher has died in a collision but here's a pin drop in the chance you can collect your order from the wreckage"
AlphaOmega@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 203d
At least there's still a chance for profit, just got to sell some flowers
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 203d
Your flower delivery driver crashed 0.3 away from your food delivery driver. He can still crawl through the fog of pain to the flowers but they might be fucked up beyond all recognition.
Send chocolates to your flower delivery driver's hopsital room!
tias@discuss.tchncs.de · 20 pts · 203d
0.3 what away from me? Miles? Kilometers? Meters? Units matter - I'm not driving to the other side of town just to pick up a bloody pizza.
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 203d
It said it might be damaged. We don't know how bad the accident was and how much blood was involved
TeddE@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 203d
If you can't be bothered to step out of your comfort zone and travel .3 AU to pick up your food, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you want the crippled driver to spoon feed it to you.
(/s, obviously)
Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 203d
Obviously nautical miles
drcec@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 203d
Parsecs, obviously.
tias@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 203d
According to Star Wars, Parsec is a measure of time not distance
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 203d
They retconned it to mean that the Kessel Run was close to a black hole so you couldn't go near unless very fast and agile, so most ships had to take a longer route, so parsecs became distance again
AstroLightz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 203d
0.3 Hamburgers of course!
genuineparts@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 203d
It's not blood... it's uhm... Marinara Sauce! And that's not an eyeball that's just... a lychee from... another order.
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 201d
0.3 volleyballs away
Alberat@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 203d
the dasher delivering your flowers to the previous dasher's hospital room, has gotten into an accident
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 203d
I hate capitalism.
tomiant@piefed.social · 16 pts · 203d
"Oh my god is he ok?"
"Yes your food is 50% ok!"
Taldan@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 203d
I actually had this happen once. Dasher got in an accident
The app just showed his car going in circles around the point he crashed
bampop@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 203d
Probably hit a fairground carousel
Snapz@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 203d
Needs instructions for in person pickup.
"Your dasher wears a medical bracelet identifying his next of kin. To expedite access to the crime scene to retrieve your order (1x bagel bites, 4x lubricant and 1x grain alcohol) dash++ members can unlock this name to then pose as a direct relation when authorities ask."
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 203d
I wonder what % of people seeing this think it's real? People really gotta keep an eye on the community and understand what shitposting means
brucethemoose@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 203d
I mean, I saw the community, yet I had to think of it.
It's “nottheonion” adjacent.
Ontimp@feddit.org · 5 pts · 202d
Honestly, online service platforms have come up with so many odd and manipulated behavioural patterns they shove down their customers' throat as long as it makes them money...
If an A/B test actually showed that offering to pick up your food from a traffic accident site led to better customer satisfaction outcomes than just cancelling the order I seem them doing this 100%
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 202d
Regardless of if it's real or not. I wouldn't even fucking bat one eye at doordash for doing something like this.
But no one using doordash would ever go and actually collect the item to confirm if it's real anyways so it's moot.
TomMasz@piefed.social · 9 pts · 203d
Clean up any bloodstains with cold water.
diemartin@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 203d
"Use coupon code NOMOBLOOD to get one free(*) bottle of water(**)!
(*) Promo valid only on purchases of $1000 or more
(**) Not cold"
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 203d
club soda does wonders.
iykyk
Keeponstalin@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 203d
Did you tip?
ultrahamster64@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 203d
Nah I'm against the tipping culture
Keeponstalin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 203d
Me too but unfortunately I live in America, so unless it's takeout I tip
Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 203d
Even on non-takeout, I still won't tip sometimes. It's mental how some counter service places are asking for tips. I begrudgingly tip if the person actually does something service related (like bringing me my food), but if I have to do the work to get my order, I don't tip.
Keeponstalin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 203d
I'm not going to punish the service workers for the shitty hyper-capitalist exploitation that is tipping culture
Even in states without subminimum wages, the wage is still usually not a livable one
Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 203d
Don't misunderstand me, I still tip at places where tipping makes sense, like a restaurant or something.
But I'm not going to subsidize every business' payroll just because they found out they can enable a tip prompt on their POS. Like, I don't need to tip every store that has workers making food, especially if they all stay behind the counter.
Maybe that makes me an asshole, but I'm not tipping every business just because they ask for one.
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 203d
That's how you get shot in 'Murica, since your delivery driver will not understand that its the corpos that deprived them of their pay.
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 203d
Nah - put the whole thing in, not just the tip.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 203d
I can't feel a difference...?
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 203d
Sucks to be you, then - I got my rocks off, & that's all I care about (as is The American Way).
plm00@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 204d
This looks like a Soren mockup.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 203d
The application let's you send flowers to your "dasher's" hospital room
Taking about dystopian.
We don't care about that motherfucker that damn near killed himself and inconvenienced us, but hey, that's why we do the gig thing so we don't have to insure them! But hey, YOU totally should send him flowers!
Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 203d
There is an artist around who spoofs the big app interfaces to make these even worse thought experiments. I'm guessing it's one of his or hers. Unfortunately I don't remember the name / handle.
Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 203d
Here I found him, Soren.
https://sorens.beehiiv.com/p/doordash-accident-order-recovery
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 201d
This one's a little real for any fellow Americans who are self-employed (or have mucked up their taxes and owe a bunch)
https://sorens.beehiiv.com/p/irs-direct-pay-taxes-with-organs
BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 203d
I'm not going outside in this weather. Especially if I have to put pants on. They should just send a second driver to pull my Arby's out of the burning wreckage and finish the delivery without me having to tell them.
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 203d
The last time I used doordash Uber eats whatever was 2019 and one day it was raining hard so I went outside to meet the delivery person at their car and they thanked me 😄
TheSeveralJourneysOfReemus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 203d
robocall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 203d
nO tIp No TrIp 😂
Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 203d
Source: https://sorens.beehiiv.com/p/doordash-accident-order-recovery
Etterra@discuss.online · 0 pts · 203d
If I wanted to go outside in the freezing cold I wouldn't have ordered out, jackdash.