Sounds like the lyrics to Shipoopi, originally from the "The Music Man".
Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'
If you get a squeeze back, that's fancy cookin'
Once more for a pepper-upper
Never get sore on her way to supper
I developed a technique over the years where I run a finger along the urethra after I'm done to push whatever fluid may be left, regardless if I'm standing or sitting down. When no TP is available, it really helps.
::: spoiler spoiler
I've been having a discussion with a girl friend about this. She couldn't believe me when I told her her I found out about the wiping the pp with toilett paper recently & that I just used to do the shake and dance how most men do. She was shook and told me it can't be true that most men just do the shake and dance.
I know most people on lemmy are progressive, so it might be worped... but it still got me wondering, if I've been doing it wrong for the past +30 years or if it is the standard for other men.
:::
Only when I passed 50 years old was that an issue. Prior to that when the stream was complete it would close off tight, immediately thereafter. Now it's like I read in a Stephen King novel once..."No matter how long you jump and prance the last few drops end up in your pants".
For anyone confused, this is because not releasing the excess kinetic energy (that way or another) can cause it to flee, usually at the most inopportune of times
Wipe, because I don't want to be staining my surroundings with urine droplets. Those that do shake, do you clean your surroundings afterwards? Didn't think so... đ€ź
If you're sitting down, the drops will stay in the bowl. Is your standing, you just made a thousand droplets fly everywhere from your stream hitting the porcelain.
I personally sit down + wipe, but I'm quite prejudiced about other people with pp regarding their toilet manners (or manners in general, but that's a bigger discussion...): I imagine the majority standing up, shaking and giving zero f*cks about in what state they leave the toilet :( but as I said, this is just my prejudice.
Nothing quite so nice as having to adopt a ridiculously wide stance as far from the urinal as logistically possible to avoid standing in someone's carelessness.
I was sitting down and already thinking myself better than most men. End of last year I discovered wiping is a thing and it blew my mind on how I never even considered it before...
(Except for those weirdly designed restrooms where the paper is place five light years away across the room) the solution to improved decency was but a few inches away đ
So, when sitting you still have to handle and direct the jet in the opposite direction. Because unless you sit facing the wall, I find piss will surf up the bowl, ripple between the edge and the seat-ring (dirty them), and, in a good day will lend on you calf.
I think you'll find different answers based on country because of circumcision. If you have a foreskin it can be pretty variable how much urine will be held by surface tension and hard to remove with a quick shake. You will also find differences based on the local culture, for example in Germany men usually sit to pee while that is rare in places like the USA.
Yeah, as a German with a PP, i find the thought disgusting to pee into a toilet while standing. The only time I pee standing up is at a urinal or in the woods. To answer the question, I usually shake a little then get up, no wiping required.
I sit, squeeze and preferably wash with water afterwards. At the office I sometimes sneak into the disabled toilet because it does have a sink behind the locked door.
Toilet paper is the second option, but it leaves traces sometimes.
Or uses the toilet after âa proficient shakerâ or worse yet, has to clean said toilet after group of âproficient shakersâ have done their business.
I squeeze, and then wipe the tip, especially if I'm naked and getting back into bed (not wearing underwear to catch a little drip). Dancing only occurs if I really gotta pee, and can't.
Yes, but she has lots of them. Ok, to be honest, I do this maybe half of the time, after considering if there is a chance my penis will end up in her mouth later, I want to be clean. She puts her diva cup in the sink some times and forget to rinse it, we just not easily grossed by natural body things I guess.
Same, or in fact any sufficiently private space. The wetness (from water) isn't a problem, piss (or other bodily fluids, depending on what I was up to and with whom in the bathroom) is the problem. I have unreasonably sensitive skin and get eczemas easily, so I need to keep my basement squeeky clean.
My Anaconda is usually unruly.
So I gotta do battle-rope type whipping to get the last drops out.
Creates massive sonic-booms in the urinals every time I whipcrack.
105 Comments
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 44 pts · 144d
Niether.
I wring mine out. đ€
sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 144d
Yeah you gotta peench that urethra, boyee
gmtom@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 143d
I just lick the residue off
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 43 pts · 144d
No one really dances since you can get enough motion by shaking it. Also, toilet paper is non-existent at urinals. That said,
Shake it once, that's fine Shake it twice, that's okay Shake it three times You're playing with yourself again
ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org · 16 pts · 144d
Unexpected Good Charlotte reference? :D
Wolf314159@startrek.website · 4 pts · 144d
Sounds like the lyrics to Shipoopi, originally from the "The Music Man".
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 143d
Yep. Good catch.
MaggiWuerze@feddit.org · 1 pts · 144d
Isn't that from Two and a Half Men?
BremboTheFourth@piefed.ca · 9 pts · 143d
This is propaganda from people who want you to have piss stains, shake it shake it shake it!
showmeyourkizinti@startrek.website · 7 pts · 143d
Shake it like a Polaroid picture!
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 142d
OH MY GOD, IVE NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THOSE LYRICS BEFORE.
Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 141d
Ugh, knew I should have checked this thread further before posting, it's such an obvious pull.
Skanky@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 143d
After reading this thread, it seems I've been using that air dryer thing on the wall very incorrectly.
qyron@sopuli.xyz · 34 pts · 144d
I developed a technique over the years where I run a finger along the urethra after I'm done to push whatever fluid may be left, regardless if I'm standing or sitting down. When no TP is available, it really helps.
whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 144d
Once upon a time, in my youth, I saw a meme explaining me this. Now I have a push behind the balls after pee every time!
titter@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 142d
This one right here. It pushes on the urethra and expels the drips. Like holding up the back of a garden hose to purge it for the winter.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 142d
I imagine guys in a public toilet seeing you reach into the pants to finger your taint.
deacon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 143d
Yep, saw a comment like this on Reddit and as Iâve aged itâs become critical.
Kennystillalive@feddit.org · 19 pts · 144d
::: spoiler spoiler I've been having a discussion with a girl friend about this. She couldn't believe me when I told her her I found out about the wiping the pp with toilett paper recently & that I just used to do the shake and dance how most men do. She was shook and told me it can't be true that most men just do the shake and dance.
I know most people on lemmy are progressive, so it might be worped... but it still got me wondering, if I've been doing it wrong for the past +30 years or if it is the standard for other men. :::
WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 142d
You're doing it wrong now but of course that is your right. Shake it dry, zip up.
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 143d
Only when I passed 50 years old was that an issue. Prior to that when the stream was complete it would close off tight, immediately thereafter. Now it's like I read in a Stephen King novel once..."No matter how long you jump and prance the last few drops end up in your pants".
arin@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 143d
Lucky you, it started happening to me at 30
thatradomguy@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 143d
Same here...
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 143d
Push up on your taint and the last bit will squirt out. Helps with the weakened prostate.
CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 142d
Yeah that won't look strange at a line of urinals.
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 142d
It doesnât, it just looks like Iâm shoving my junk back into my pants. Basically push up right behind the balls.
clif@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 143d
Yep.
Also shout out to "Desperation", great book.
CluckN@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 143d
Thanks, I usually get all my literature recommendations from threads about urinary incontinence.
toynbee@piefed.social · 1 pts · 141d
If it helps, another thing that happens in that book is that one of the characters suggests he might bite off the penis of another.
He even suggests that he would be unbothered by doing so due to his Vietnam experience.
Quilotoa@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 143d
If I'm in a puble washroom, I knock it against the side of the urinal.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 6 pts · 143d
SLAP! This babys not going anywhere
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 143d
For anyone confused, this is because not releasing the excess kinetic energy (that way or another) can cause it to flee, usually at the most inopportune of times
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 2 pts · 143d
You do not want to come between a urinal and it's toilets
emotional_soup_88@programming.dev · 15 pts · 144d
Wipe, because I don't want to be staining my surroundings with urine droplets. Those that do shake, do you clean your surroundings afterwards? Didn't think so... đ€ź
zakobjoa@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 144d
If you're sitting down, the drops will stay in the bowl. Is your standing, you just made a thousand droplets fly everywhere from your stream hitting the porcelain.
emotional_soup_88@programming.dev · 2 pts · 144d
I personally sit down + wipe, but I'm quite prejudiced about other people with pp regarding their toilet manners (or manners in general, but that's a bigger discussion...): I imagine the majority standing up, shaking and giving zero f*cks about in what state they leave the toilet :( but as I said, this is just my prejudice.
stringere@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 144d
Nothing quite so nice as having to adopt a ridiculously wide stance as far from the urinal as logistically possible to avoid standing in someone's carelessness.
Kennystillalive@feddit.org · 3 pts · 144d
I was sitting down and already thinking myself better than most men. End of last year I discovered wiping is a thing and it blew my mind on how I never even considered it before...
emotional_soup_88@programming.dev · 2 pts · 144d
(Except for those weirdly designed restrooms where the paper is place five light years away across the room) the solution to improved decency was but a few inches away đ
furtiveParalysis@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 144d
So, when sitting you still have to handle and direct the jet in the opposite direction. Because unless you sit facing the wall, I find piss will surf up the bowl, ripple between the edge and the seat-ring (dirty them), and, in a good day will lend on you calf.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 143d
Just peeing makes a cloud of urine droplets. Quit being judgemental douche
stringere@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 144d
Hey macarena!
MolochHorridus@piefed.social · 14 pts · 144d
Do you shake your ass after taking a dump? No? Why not? Thereâs your answer.
And wash that damn ass.
Soulcreator@programming.dev · 5 pts · 143d
I mean sometimes when you've got a hanger...
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 143d
Captain! We've got Klingons dead astern.
brb@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 144d
I milk it couple times and then tap the tip with toilet paper once
rowinxavier@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 144d
I think you'll find different answers based on country because of circumcision. If you have a foreskin it can be pretty variable how much urine will be held by surface tension and hard to remove with a quick shake. You will also find differences based on the local culture, for example in Germany men usually sit to pee while that is rare in places like the USA.
MaggiWuerze@feddit.org · 7 pts · 144d
Yeah, as a German with a PP, i find the thought disgusting to pee into a toilet while standing. The only time I pee standing up is at a urinal or in the woods. To answer the question, I usually shake a little then get up, no wiping required.
moondoggie@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 143d
Helicopter with hands behind head
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 144d
Toilet paper
Kennystillalive@feddit.org · 1 pts · 144d
Thank you. Happens when most other languages I know have a double tt.
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 144d
I meant that's what I use
WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social · 9 pts · 144d
I hit it with a cricket bat. Itâs kind of a pain to carry around but far more effective.
dangercake@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 144d
In an emergency, a tennis racket can be made to work just as well
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 143d
Try a curling broom. You'll thank me later
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 144d
Push the taint.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 143d
This is the way.
Also squeeze with the kegels while doing so and it pushes everything out. Shake a couple times for good measure.
Smoogs@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 144d
So you tuck it back in there?
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 142d
Wipe mine on a baby rabbit. So soft.
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 142d
Single use and flushable.
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 142d
That's the help's job.
Jerkface@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 142d
Garçon!
johsny@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 144d
I walk away and let it airdry.
stringere@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 144d
Egads! Put it away first, this is not an Applebee's!
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 2 pts · 143d
Sir this is Wendy's.
Would you like fries with that?
angelmountain@lemy.nl · 4 pts · 144d
I sit, squeeze and preferably wash with water afterwards. At the office I sometimes sneak into the disabled toilet because it does have a sink behind the locked door.
Toilet paper is the second option, but it leaves traces sometimes.
unnamed1@feddit.org · 4 pts · 144d
Shake is all you need. Whoever claims otherwise is not good at the shaking game
MolochHorridus@piefed.social · 1 pts · 144d
Or uses the toilet after âa proficient shakerâ or worse yet, has to clean said toilet after group of âproficient shakersâ have done their business.
unnamed1@feddit.org · 5 pts · 144d
In the few instances in my life of ever losing a drop in the seat I cleaned it away. Itâs not hard. Itâs just about not being an asshole to others
MolochHorridus@piefed.social · 4 pts · 144d
Microsplatters though. It may seem the stream is solid, but it ainât.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 143d
The simple act of peeing makes a cloud of microsplatters on its own
unnamed1@feddit.org · 3 pts · 143d
But thatâs a peeing problem, not a shaking problem :D
MolochHorridus@piefed.social · 0 pts · 143d
Sit down and wipe.
spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 143d
Then stand back up, and pee!
unnamed1@feddit.org · 0 pts · 143d
No one talked about standing vs sitting
MolochHorridus@piefed.social · 2 pts · 143d
Sitting down and wiping means no splatters.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 142d
...if you're wearing underwear to catch the bit that clings to the tip, because of how liquids work.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 144d
I've never used more than a squeeze and a shake.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 10 pts · 144d
Ah a youngin. You'll remember saying that someday when your older.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 144d
You are either horribly mistaken or terribly ancient.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 5 pts · 143d
You'll see
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 1 pts · 143d
I don't have time to make a proper gif out of this, so here's a timestamped video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1KiFON-GWg&t=124
lohky@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 142d
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 142d
I squeeze, and then wipe the tip, especially if I'm naked and getting back into bed (not wearing underwear to catch a little drip). Dancing only occurs if I really gotta pee, and can't.
Tedesche@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 143d
¿Por qué no los dos?
Professorozone@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 142d
Both.
jimmy90@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 142d
hold the dancing tho
pmk@piefed.ca · 3 pts · 144d
If I'm at home I wash it at the sink faucet before washing my hands.
observes_depths@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 144d
But now it's more wet and the question remains
pmk@piefed.ca · 3 pts · 144d
Wet but clean, so my bath towel works. Or the small towels my girlfriend use to wash her face, whatever is closest.
observes_depths@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 143d
Fair enough. Does your girlfriend know?
pmk@piefed.ca · 4 pts · 143d
Yes, but she has lots of them. Ok, to be honest, I do this maybe half of the time, after considering if there is a chance my penis will end up in her mouth later, I want to be clean. She puts her diva cup in the sink some times and forget to rinse it, we just not easily grossed by natural body things I guess.
Pirtatogna@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 144d
Same, or in fact any sufficiently private space. The wetness (from water) isn't a problem, piss (or other bodily fluids, depending on what I was up to and with whom in the bathroom) is the problem. I have unreasonably sensitive skin and get eczemas easily, so I need to keep my basement squeeky clean.
Mantzy81@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 144d
Depends on the time and place. Whether standing or sitting and whether I was wiping anyway.
anon_8675309@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 142d
You just get a new one?
Never paper. And almost never need to shake it.
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 143d
Squeeze then wipe, shake if toilet paper isn't available (urinal)
modus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 141d
I usually cauterize it with my cigarette.
zout@fedia.io · 2 pts · 144d
Yes. It depends on the when and where.
Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 141d
Shake it once (that's fine), possibly shake it twice (that's ok), but never three times (that's playing with yourself)
Flyzeyez@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 142d
I swab it out
spykee@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 142d
My Anaconda is usually unruly.
So I gotta do battle-rope type whipping to get the last drops out.
Creates massive sonic-booms in the urinals every time I whipcrack.
Vandalismo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 143d
El_guapazo@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 143d
Sometimes it helps to pee sitting down.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 142d
I have never experienced sitting down as the optimal position.
Forester@pawb.social · -1 pts · 144d
If you have enough control of the muscles, drippage is not a problem you have to worry about. I just flex a couple times to empty fully.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 142d
Yep, I'm pretty sure that's the main point of underwear, anyway.